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Octsober

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Posts posted by Octsober

  1. As of now, I haven't played a game in three days. At times I want too, but I understand by doing that I'll very likely be back to square one. 
    This brings me to my other dilemma. I've been creating board / card games for the past 2.5 years. I've reached the production phase (which they say is the hardest part, and it is) for one project which has caused for me to put the breaks on design for the time being. 

    To me, people seem the enjoy it, but I don't really find it to be anything special. People tell me its because I'm the creator so it will never be perfect, which is OK. At this point I just want to be done with it, so I've been considering publishing options. In by putting this on the back burner in a way, I've recently tried going back to writing this pilot for a comic / graphic novel I had brewed about for a bit. I started it yesterday, but unlike my ability to design tabletop stuff, I just lose interest. I know I have ideas that mean something to me in a storytelling medium but I don't enjoy the process of writing a story. I've tried this for a long while years ago. Didn't mind it when it was just spit balling, but its become serious now. I'm still considering plugging away at it casually but I'm not sure I'll see it through to the end yet. 

    I've started meditating again and have been going to the gym. My new job is pretty stressful as it's serving at a private owned local bar / restaurant in town. It's extremely fast paced with a lot on the server that they're responsible for. I'm not sure how long I can last at this place, as I currently dread going in and it's only day 2 today. 

    I can't help but feel utterly lost. I've distanced myself more from my core group of friends, as I haven't been really meshing with them as of lately. I feel mostly alone but I feel that I want to be alone because of this. Have you guys felt similar on your journey? 

  2. You can find great stories in reading! I was hooked on single player RPGs precisely for good stories. Sometimes I felt like I was playing a movie. At first, when you quit games, books will seem boring by comparison. But if you stick with it, you'll be surprised how much you start to enjoy reading.

    Hey Mettermrck, 

    It's not that books are boring to me, it's just I've been gaming waaaaaay too much as a crutch. I have a stack of books about 7 high. I read I swear! 

  3. I think you need change you paradigm, your way of living, thinking, eating etc. You have bad attitude to life! Admit it! Start watching youtube videos on business, selfdevelopment. Try to find people who are on their way to become better persons and walking on this path of selfimprovement. You are great person with strong heart! I didn't know you but this is 100% true. You want to change something so you are here and you already started fighting for better future. Dont be ashamed, dont be afraid, love yourself and changle will appear. 

    Hey again Onlysoul. 

    Thanks for your support. I've been pretty low as of late. I've watched the link you've provided. Lots of great stuff there, thanks! 

    I've been trying new things. Today I played a few games that I wouldn't normally play. After about maybe an hour I stopped because I was bored. Instead of playing a socially connected game, I tryed something more old fashion, that being a single player game. In the end, it's a waste of time to me. I think this is a good thing, I feel like meditating again, reading, or simply watching a movie.

    I've been hungry for stories. Sometimes games can provide this, but games are stale to me. Lots of the same stuff I've already seen / done. Reading and movies on the otherhand, something different. OH and also graphic novels! I forgot about those.

    But you're right Onlysoul - I'm trying to mix things up!   

  4. Before I post, I just wanted to make a brief statement. I try my best to not appear whiny. I generally say as I feel in the immediate, but it's not (for the most part) without awareness. 

    I've been to some low points. and today has been pretty low. Sleep schedule is all over the place which is a major contributor. Saw that new Spiderman movie super early. Afterwards had the creative juices running a muck, wanting to be put to use. Ate and napped shortly afterwards for a few hours then went to an event in town for board games, as I was showing off one of my current projects. The turnout was low and within 30 minutes of my 2 hour session I called it early as a friend of mine had his birthday gathering before he left to go back to Seattle for work. 

    It wasn't like I was super down or melancholy as I felt it, but mostly everyone at the party knew something was up as I've known them forever. A lot of "What's wrong?" and "Are you Okay?"'s floated around throughout the night. I mostly separated myself by either being outside or just staying to the outskirts of the group. The thing is with this particular group is that we go at least two decades back. There really isn't much that changes within. Same people that like to keep the group small, which is fine. Same music. Over at least a few years now of same tunes, I'm not sure I can take that part of the groups anymore.

    But I digress... 

    It wasn't until I was able to have a one on one chat with a friend whom is good at these hard times chats. At this point I was able to bring up what's really been bugging me. I run this business for board games and I feel like a complete failure. I'm a one man show, so all of my projects, to me feel like they're being done in the dark. I completely loathe my current game, mostly because it's OK but to my standard's it's not good enough. All and all I feel like I'm just stuck in the mud. I can't seem the find a path just yet and it's frustrating. 

    I'm thinking about throwing in the towel. I haven't made a dime from anything I've down in my company and I don't think I can produce anything of merit. I'm just trying to be realistic. I quit my last job because it became a bad environment. I have a new job serving, and I'm waiting to hear back from Microsoft for a job at one of their stores. things are just pretty, bleh right now. I have absolutely no excitement for life. 

    And I think that's one of the major issues. I have an Idea what I need to do. An Idea on how to start, but absolutely no will power to do it.
    Just wanted to get this off my chest. 

     

  5. Best thing where to start is cleaning your room! Then schedule some exercising, reading books( Slight Edge, The Power of Habit), youtube channels (i recommend improvement pill),go out for a walk. Start loving yourself and change will come. Slowly but it will appear! I swear. Don't act like a child. You are the man not a pussy. You are good enough. You are capable to make a better world.  Baby steps! Every small decision and habit is imporant! If you want you can contact me on ICQ or PM and i will help you. 

     

    Recommend!!!!!!

    https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

    Hello Onlysoul! 

    You're absolutely right. I went to the gym, started cleaning my room, removed all electronics from my room, and started taking some charge. 
    It's about taking charge and I need to start making moves that show that. 

    Today was a good day. Thanks for giving me a push. 

  6. I'm constantly stuck playing competitive Overwatch. It's by far the most frustrating experience KNOWINGLY stuck in the same loop playing the same crap, rolling the same dice, pulling the same slot machine lever. ITS BASICALLY INSANITY. I hate everything about this experience, most of the time, because there is absolutely no meaning behind anything gained within this system. 

    So why the hell can't I stop? Analyzing this now, I see it's mostly because EVERYONE in my close friend group plays. I'm also praised by some as the better player, as I'll team up with some of them and help them rank up. I get the social implications of this, but WHY DOES THIS MATTER SO MUCH? 

    I recently saw a Youtube vid about addiction by this pastor on a tedtalk. The crux of what he had discovered wasn't the addiction itself but rather his lack of approval . This is interesting to me as I can see how this is quasi true for me. I've been failing or rejecting certain things so by failure in key areas of life, like money, independence, etc, I've noticed that I've turned to things that give me a sense of approval that I've been lacking. I have a level of skill in games therefore I have a way to generate a kind of approval. 

    I feel completely trapped. It's super petty playing games this way and I hate it. I know I should stop but it's like I can't because there's no other avenue in my life currently that is going anywhere so by removing this I'm not sure what to do with myself in the immediate. 

    I have an Idea on what to do, but no idea how to execute.    

  7. Yeah, a slow poison sounds about right. Two of Cam's videos come to mind that really changed my perspective, my second example especially. The first video described relapsing after doing a 90 day detox (I don't quite remember the context of the video). Part of the detox is to avoid the hyper stimulation caused by gaming, so when you start playing again, you'll slowly start getting used to that level of activity again. I think being accustomed to that stimulation goes hand in hand with becoming addicted all over again. The other video was someone who managed to play in moderation after his detox and what his time spent per week was. He replied with, "I play about 10 hours a month." That number shocked me when I first heard it but it makes a lot of sense. If you play every day, or even every other day, it's easy to get sucked back in. It really seems like it has to be limited to a couple hours on one day of the weekend. The amount of time is not too different from watching a movie once a weekend. Maybe if you want to play in moderation after your detox, you should seriously consider only playing for an amount of time like that.

    That's good that you're financially stable though. I imagine if that weren't the case, cravings and other things would be much more of a problem. How's your detox going? Or did you decide against doing it?

    Hey again DeepspaceAI. 

    Lots of good stuff here. I'm going to check out both those videoes. Thanks for pointing me the right direction! 

    As for my job situation. I've got an 2nd interview with the Microsoft store this upcomming tuesday and I've got a new serving job at this local pub  in town. To be honest I was never really worried about finding new work, it's just I'd rather get back on working on the things that matter to me more or less. 

    The detox has been like a rollercoster, I can go a few days without playing, be productive etc, and others I'll just game for most of the day. I think this is because there's a bunch of moving parts going on in my life at the moment where I need some kind of crutch (this is my excuse..). I'm also trying to cut out a mildly toxic group of people from my life, it's hard because some of them are family. 

    I appreciate your help DeepspaceAI - thanks for your support! Means a good deal to me. 

    -Oct

  8. Howdy Octsober. I am curious as to why you relapsed after successfully completing the 90 day detox. It sounds like there could be some crucial information there that would be invaluable for introspection. If that's not the case at all and it's just the job, it's easy enough to get a new one. I've heard it's easier to find new employment while you're already employed and it definitely takes the financial pressure off your shoulders versus looking for work while being unemployed. A second 90 day detox sounds like the perfect time to make changes in your life that actually matter to you. Good luck!

    Hey DeepSpaceAI! 

    I did roughtly 100 days but I can explain why I jumped back into games.

    I wasn't playing any games when I choose to stop playin during November 2015 - Feb 2016. Xcom 2 was coming out towards the last week and I enjoyed the first game so I bought it.  As my current PC didn't really play games too well I decided to upgrade as I received a nice return in my taxes. I was able to play all the new games from then onward. Overwatch came out and that was pretty much the game that sucked me in the most. 

    My logic at the time on going back into games was that I felt that I was able to limit myself as I stopped playing for so long. However, its like a slow poison, and as time went on my habits changed back to where I started before my detox. 

    I've recently left my job and have begun transforming my life. It's funny really because I'm technically not unemployed as I own a business :D. 

  9. Is it your particular job/company? Can you start looking for another job? Or do you need to sort working on a new career route?

    If you are tired of gaming and/or it is causing you trouble, then start the detox. But it sounds like you either need to find a new job, or to work on your stress management so your job won't bother you so much. It sounds like this is a newer job since you said you put in your two weeks notice at your old job back in January?

    Why not try another hand at the board game you were doing that kickstarter for?

    Also, I planned on going to MAGfest after just catching the last day the previous year, but I was moving that weekend and sold my ticket. Looked at the line up of speakers and wasn't too impressed anyway (sorry, just read your previous comments on this page to get some background and noticed that).

    Hey, thanks a bunch for reading up on my journal. I appreciate it ! :) 

    I work as a server so finding new work for me isn't that difficult but I've grown... confortable where I am but I'm more or less positioning myself to gtfo out of that place simply because its too toxic. 

    I pretty much game today, to hide from going to work at my crappy job. I've been positioning myself for a detox. I did put my two weeks in 6 months ago when the new managers took over, but I decided to stick around because I didn't have anywhere else to go at the moment. 

    As for my board game stuff, I've been working on two projects still! It's just taking some time to produce them is all. Also I need just a bit more capital to get it really off the ground. 

    Magfest is generally a good time. I generally go now for work as I present my projects as part of the Tabletop Division of the convention, which is nice as I get some perks :D

     

  10. Wow it's been a LONG time since I've been here... 

    I'm going to be completely honest here. 

    I'm at the end of my rope. I'm tired of aimlessly playing games. I'm tired of wasting time. I'm tired of getting frustrated. I'm tired of being TIRED. 
    When I stopped playing games, my life became 500% better. Now I'm just stuck. I know what I need to do, however I'm stuck in this loop between being stressed out at work and running from my issues by playing games. After work I'm too stressed out to get away from games, as the games I'm playing give me enough joy to keep me distracted enough to not think about having to go back to a bad situation at work. 

    It's not that I don't know what to do - it's just I'm not sure how to execute this time around. 

    I THROW MYSELF TO THE MERCY OF THE COURT! 
    Please bistow up me guidance oh denizens of the gamequitters fourm! 

  11. Hey guys, 

    I noticed that noFap and game compulsion are connected in some way. 

    I've seens a few other threads mentioning throwing in nofap while getting away from games. I wonder why this is the case,,, 

    As to be on topic with this thread, I do agree that porn really does mess with a lot of natural stuff. However masturbation in healthy doses is perfectly normal and is realitive to the individual. I'd say, no porn - no problem. 

     

  12. Hey guys!

    So for the last few days I've really been looking for reasons why I'm feeling so depressed and have no motivation to do whatsoever.

    I think I've had a burn out, but didn't know it was called like that and I'm still in the burn out mood. Already for 3 months or so.

    3 Months ago I was the best version of myself. Literally everything went great in my life. 
    I worked out 6 times a week, tracked all my macro's etc. didn't eat unhealthy a single time. I also had some experiences for the first time with a beautiful girl.

    I was so determined to becoming better and better. And I remember telling myself: "Soon you will relapse to gaming and fall into the deep again''.

    And it happened. For 3 days in a row I played WoW non stop, but I didn't think of it as being burned out from all the stress from never doing enough or over achieving.

    So right now I can only remember how I was like before that relapse and everything after that is just a blur for me.

    Right now I'm gaming, I have no motivation to workout, to read, to meditate. Basically all the things that I used are gone. All the good habits I'd developed.

    Do you guys have experiences with this? Or do you know how to recover from this?

    Thanks in advance!

    Hello Robin, 

    I've done 110 days myself (just about 3.5 months roughtly), so I can relate to your struggles. 

    I went back to games last year sometime Februry. I guess for me it was different. I did my meditation and took better care of myself (sleeping habit was waaay better), but I guess for me I thought I could go back and not get trapped. But that of course wasn't the case. 

    For me it was like I was on the otherside of the fence. Games to me felt like a waste of time. At the time I was converting all the energy I would have spent gaming on my business designing board games, so I guess, for me it worked. 

    But for you, I'd consider diging back into your meditation and trying to focus on why you wanted to stop in the first place. Sure you can say that it was the better yourself, but it appears to me the stress of continuing your betterment lead you to short-circuit of sorts. Try not to place so much stress on the aspect of achievements. Maybe this was something you pursued in games? Were you an Achievement hunter in WoW or elsewhere? 

    Most importantly - don't think about your new good habits as gone. Consider this a checkpoint of sorts. If you've been gaming for a long, long time. It's going to take some trial and error. 

    If you come up with anything in regards to reaccuring your motivation, let me know because I can use some pointers myself haha. 

    You got this. 

  13. Hey guys, 

    I've been in like a quitting limbo. I haven't really played anything really. When I go to I just get depressed and quit out anyway. 

    I just got back from an event mostly for my company close to DC. It's a Music and Video games Festival but they have a rather large board game presence as well. 

    Long story short the festival wasn't that great this year. Usually I socialize A LOT with a bunch of friends and new people, but for whatever reason that didn't happen this year. I ended up mostly working showing off a game I've been working on for two years now, but unfortunately I have yet to provide the advertisements I need to really get more attention. 

    As there was a bunch of video games around, I just felt, for whatever reason like I didn't want to play. It was like this odd grey feeling. 

    All in all, I spent pretty much the remaining money I had for this trip. I'm broke, just put in my two weeks at my job, and I currently feel like this is rock bottom. I've left my job for other reasons in regards to that job but still, I'm not sure what to do to get on with my life for the better. 

    Hope you guys are fairing better! 

    -Oct

  14. I really need to quit. Like really. There's absolutely zero good I'm getting in my life right now because of games. It's a constricting feeling. I felt way more at ease and free when I wasn't playing. I mean, I substituted games for Board Games but it doesn't do the same thing that Video games do to me. I'm having a really really hard time getting away from it this time around, I guess because I have a game that I'm playing more so than usual, opposed when I quit last year and didn't have anything.

    I need to just quit again.   

  15. Hey guys, 

    I'm checking back in to say that I'm stuck. 
    I can't stop playing Overwatch. I've been playing it competitively and I know it's a waste of time but I can't get out of the loop. 
    What do I do here? 

    I feel after the failure of my kickstarter, I really need to get my head out of the ground. I am far more productive when I don't play games. 

    I'm all ??? for what to do currently. 

    Best, 

    Oct

  16. Hey guys, 

    I just wanted to share something I thought may help some of you that are currently trying to stop playing video games. 

    It's a little ironic, but for me, I'm a game designer. I don't make video games but board games / card games rather. It's by far a great medium for playing games than video games because there's a point when you physically cannot play for long periods of time. 

    Anyhow. I'm currently running a kickstarter for my current project. It's a storytelling party game anyone one can pick up and play. I don't want this to seem like I'm selling it here and just promoting my Kickstarter, but rather showing the things you can do when we are not so distracted by video games. 

    I made this in part while I was 110 days free of gaming. Check it out and let me know your thoughts! 

    --> Everything Makes Sense at the End. <--

    Be well! 

    -Oct.

  17. I have relapsed multiple times when first quitting gaming. Every time we relapse we get an opportunity to do better next time. Don't be too harsh on yourself. Simply learn from it and move on. 

    You are doing a great job! Maybe next time instead of reaching out to friends in the gaming cycle you could reach out to this community or to youtube videos where people tell why they quit gaming like the one from Cam or SUCCESS INSIDER for example.

    Much love from the Netherlands - Robin <3

    I've quit before for 110 days so it's a little  werid for me this time. I agree that I should ease up a bit though. 

    I didn't think to come here instead of my core  group. Next time I should start here and go from there instead!

    Thanks for your support guys !

     

     

  18. Hey guys, 

    Quitting this time around has been interesting. I'm back to day one. I was a day away from 30 but I had hit rock bottom.
    I couldn't take any more stress and just needed to reach out to people online.
    What had happened was that this month has been pretty slow for me at work so my general cash flow has been slow making this Stresser one. 
    Stresser two: My 'core' group of friends has been not necessarily toxic, but negative in regards when I've been trying to reach out to socialize. They've recently been playing more video games as well. Moslty family members and close. old friends.
    Stresser three: I'm launching a kickstarter this month and it feels like I haven't done as much work as I have been for it.

    All this came crashing down on my a week / week and a half ago where I just logged in to 'hang' out with people I knew.

    Now I don't wish to keep playing games, but when I do I try my best to distance myself from them as best as I can. I understand that I've used Video games in the past to unwind and destress in the past, but that's no longer acceptable. I will give myself this one as, to be honest I was at a pretty low point with all these factors looming.

    On a possitive note I'm actually looking forward to what the future may hold for once!

    Guess I'll have to wait and see.

    Be well guys!

    -Oct 

  19. Hey gang, 

    currently 26 days in. Feeling better as each da y continunes on. 

    As my interest in being in the company of others has changed, I find it quite annoying that people will play games and completely shun out. But I guess this is the part Cam dicussed in regards to friends who game and those priorties having differences. 

    Day 30 for me in 4 days! 

  20. Things just made more sense when I wasn't playing. It's funny really because I have a friend who said I was a Real Person when I didn't play games and was happy to hear I was going on hiatus agian.

    Important feedback.

    Its interesting really. I feel like it's harder to quit after quitting for a long period of time. Not that it's true, but it feels like I forgot what it was like when I wasn't playing. It's weird. When I did stop it's like I saw what playing was really doing to me and had this strong sense of I'm over it in regards to playing in the future. 

    As so wisdom that I can share to those that have quit and are thinking about if they can return. I thought the same. I figured that I knew I could stop so I could probably play again but the way playing games works for me is like a slow poision. Eventually I ended right back where I've started and didn't fully understand what happened. I do however have some insights into stopping again, and it feels easier to stop playing because of the things I've learned and felt while I wasn't. 

    Just some food for thought. I'll be 10 days come this friday. 

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