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Octsober

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Everything posted by Octsober

  1. @JustTom Ironically enough, I run a small company making board games. Sorry for the late reply! Haven't seen your reply.
  2. Hey Tachi! Appreciate the warm welcome! You know it's funny that you've mentioned the lack of connection. That's exactly the same roadblock I had dealt with when I last quit in 2018. I was so hungry for social connection, but it just wasn't happening which ultimately let me back into gaming. Of course this was a terrible idea for obvious reasons. Now, I'm trying to figure out solutions to this problem. I'm gearing up on becoming more active within the communities I'm apart of. Aside from that perhaps I can get out a little more. Maybe the library even. We'll see what happens. -Oct
  3. Quick update, I've actually, just like that have stopped gaming again. Been focusing more on my business and over all other, more productive things. If I've had to say how long it's been, I believe this is day 4. I've uninstalled every game on my PC and have placed systems out of view. Just trying to stay on track.
  4. Wow - this is an incredible visual. I think I can slightly recall a similar feeling when I stopped last year for 110 days. I totally understand this feeling. I had recently bought a few games on my switch with excitement, but this is actually poetic. The expectations of (some) games (certainly while addicted) often doesn't match the reality of the actual product (imo). Games can be flashy and exciting. It's no surprise that we get caught up in this high. I must say, you're making me want to sell my switch. Keep on the path and you will reap many rewards.
  5. 12 Rules for life is an excellent read! I have to say, the deletion of a Steam account is no easy task. I commend you on this @dahankus. If it's any help, striving to get past the 21 hump was always something I focused on when non-gaming. Get's a little easier as the days move on.
  6. Hey Everyone, It's been a hot minute. Been a lot going though my mind as of recently. I had turned 30 last year and really had vowed to make adjustments for the better. The concept of time as a valuable resource has become very much relevant lately. Unfortunately, I currently game, but I no longer play online games. After finishing this last game, I was just really miserable throughout the experience. The best way I can describe is it a complete feeling of disconnect. Playing games for me right now is terribly boring, depressing, and just overall feels like a complete waste of time. Though everything isn't in regards to my habits isn't terrible. I still attend the gym three days a week and mediate daily. But still, I can't shake this feeling of being on the cusp of something good. I believe I'm looking to stop gaming again. Although this time I'm trying to figure out how to solve my lack of social outlets, being in this hermit mindset currently. Even during my last hiatus from gaming, I had struggled to find other social avenues. That's enough about me for now. Hope you're all doing well! -Oct.
  7. Hey Y'all, So today's day 3, Instead of gaming, I'm throwing out a rope here for an alternative. As it's Monday, the only thing that really comes to mind for me is reading, but I've been pretty hungry socially as of lately. I don't want to go out to the bar or anything (I've noticed my drinking habits have increased while not gaming). Just looking for some suggestions! -Oct
  8. Hey Stablish, I actually ended up buying a new headset, one more focused on music. I returned the other pair I had. I'll take a look into your Fastlane topic and see what I find! I've actually been reading a bunch on self-development, game design (i'm a tabletop designer), and some leisure reading here and there. But I think you're absolutely right about what it looks like when we set goals in games. It's actually quite silly. Now, I don't play rocket league, but I know exactly what you're talking about! I was actually thinking about what was more important today: Achievement in a game or achievement in my own work. I found my own work vastly more fulfilling. I've been thinking about picking-up basketball or something at the local center for some pick-up and play games. I've also been thinking of getting into Magic: The Gathering again, just picking up and playing a game at the local shop or so. Nothing crazy. It's weird for me because I don't have a problem blocking gaming stuff out. I can be mindful of it and not end up playing it. For me in this last case was more of a work exhaustion. From the times I did game casually (less than 2 hours every other day), I was able to recharge a little, but like you said, eventually it just traps us back into the same spot where we were before. I generally listen to music while working, haven't really did so while gaming, so no problem there! Sorry to hear you've got Migraines as well! Totally really annoying when there's work to be done!
  9. Hey Stablish, You have no idea how much I appreciate your words here. I've been posting on this same page for the last few months, and at times, it feels like I'm just talking to myself. Not that I'm expecting anyone to chime in here, but it gives me the indication I may be taking more than giving. I should do more posting within the community. But! To chime in on what you've said. I 1000% agree with you. I read this last night after suffering a terrible migraine most likely triggered by my lack of sleep from my 10 hour binge. I do pursue knowledge as well! However, for me, it can be a little taxing at times, especially after a long days work. I'm going to have to see what I can do about finding a substitute for my downtime recharge, as from what happened the other day, was a clear indication I still can't really manage my game time alone (if not at all). Also, I picked-up this new headset for my PC as my old one's are on their way out. They're a gaming brand however, so I feel a little motivated to game as of this. They're an excellent pair for music don't get me wrong, but I'm having a hard time justifying the money if it's going to push me into a gaming whole because of it. I'm going to start another gaming hiatus today. Stay well! -Oct
  10. Greetings Y'all, Yesterday was a bad day. I spend 9-10 hours gaming. I've been analyzing why this had happened. I recently went back to playing Overwatch casually. I allowed 1 - 2 hours every other day as long as I finished everything I needed to do for the day. I did manage to finish everything yesterday, but I did not intend to get stuck in a loop. I was playing the competitive mode trying to bang out a few games to get to a particular level reward for the season. Regardless it's still an irrelevant reward. I lost a little sleep last night, but nothing too terrible. So that's the thing. How to go from here. You see the thing with gaming for me is that it does help reduce stress from work and such. Due to my work schedule, it's hard to meet up as I'm only off during the weekdays. I'm not at all using this as an excuse, just trying to find solutions to where to go from here. For those still going, keep on keepin' on. -Oct.
  11. Is anyone familiar with the works of Jordan Peterson? I've been reading a lot of work by him. One of the things he talks about is having to negotiate with yourself and that you shouldn't be a tyrant to yourself. Personally, I don't think I've been too much of a tyrant, but here's where I see why I've been burning myself out. I try and use board games to fill the role of video games for me and they generally work but given my current work schedule, I haven't been able to get out as much as I like, so I get to this breaking point after about 30+ days of not playing any games. My relapses generally only last up to two hours for one day. Granted this isn't the worst for me. I look how my relationship with gaming has become much, much better, but I'm also aware it's a slow poison that I absolutely don't want to fall back into.
  12. Day 31, Anyone noticed a weird bug that deletes everything you write when you post it? Anyhow, today is my 31st day without playing games. I did end up playing for about an hour today. Technically i've relapsed, but I don't want to call it that as my relationship with games absolutely changed. I've been pouring so much time into work and my business, I've begun to see that I'm starting to exhaust/burn myself out a little. I've been meaning to get into some other after-hours programs Tuesdays/Wednesdays as these days are my off days. All and all I'm going to shoot for another 10-day hiatus which shouldn't be that hard to do. -Oct
  13. Day 20, It's been oddly easy to deal with managing gaming at the moment. I think this is because my stress has been managed well as of lately (and that work hasn't been stressful). I know I'm going to need a plan going into the next few months, as work will ramp up again. I've been chipping away at my next project. Just green lit the artwork for it so that's pretty exciting! Going strong. My mood is significantly improved given the last few months. I've gone from killing time to using mostly every moment for something worth while. Excited to see what happens next.
  14. Day 14 I've been mulling over my current situation. I've finished my last project and am now awaiting its shipment so that I may sell it, all while trying to figure out the path of my next project, which has been quite stressful. Meanwhile, I feel as if I'm neglecting other core components such as intimate relationships, better sleep, and less drinking. Not that my sleep and drinking habits are terrible, it's just while I've been meditating, eating better, and getting into better shape, it's just something I've noticed. I'm going to start strategizing new ways to lay a new, stronger foundation. Having this is paramount in preventing future relapses. Till next time, -Oct
  15. Day 11, It's been eleven days since I've stopped playing again. Some days are a little harder than others, but some days are a little easier as well. It's about perspective. I absolutely don't want to fall back into old habits. It's about moving forward. That's what keeps my head on straight. -Oct
  16. Hello all, I want to say it's been 6 days in my cautious return into gaming. After my experience last night, I absolutely want to get back to staving off the juice again. I think I played for two hours with friends, it was a little nice to catch up with some of the guys from Washington state, but its not just like I could have reached out to them without playing games. I find gaming without a general reason (mostly for me is honestly R&D) mostly a waste of time. It's tricky though because I don't want to be in the same position I was in prior and I also don't want to be in the position where I feel like I can't relax for a little. I generally do this while socializing and board gaming, but my work schedule as of lately has made this a little challenging to navigate. All and all I'm rather proud of how I've been handling myself as of lately. I focus mostly on my job and my company, while meditating daily and hitting the gym three days a week. I look good and feel good. Absolutely want to maintain this. I've marked a new 10 days of non-gaming. Lets see if I can hit it!
  17. Today would be my 110th day of no video games. Unfortunately, around my 101st 102nd, I proceeded to play about a half an hours worth. Now I'm pretty bummed about this, however, I absolutely am not binging 2+ hours daily. Maybe I'll sneak in 30 minutes or so. But still not an excuse. I am however not sure what to do about my gaming habits as of now. I generally don't have the time to play much anyhow as most of my time goes to working my day job and running my company. I think one of the most important steps I've taken was really looking at the game itself and knowing "who cares.". Taking a step back from the competitive side of it really has helped me gather more introspective. Now I'm not looking to justify this. I'm just looking VERY carefully at this habit. I absolutely don't want to fall into bad habits again, as I'm sleeping regularly, reading more, eating better, getting in shape and meditating. The thing that is my major stressor is actually running my company. I just finished my first product and should have physical copies to sell in about a month or so. I'm not sure what to do for my next project. I've been working on this one game for about a year now, but it's been proving quite challenging to get right. I've been trying to take a step back, but I can't really afford the downtime. If I am playing a game, there's a very high chance I'm studying the mechanics rather than mindlessly playing it, although I do have one game where I do this in very minimally. I'm ready to find another hobby that replaces games, but I'm willing to be patient with the process. I am however absolutely open to suggestions. -Oct
  18. Hey Cam! I totally cannot agree more with you on finding new ways to socialize. It's such an integral part of gaming today, it makes so much sense that it would fill the void of actually socializing. It's been interesting though this time around, as I didn't feel as much pressure to push myself. Must be the times catching up with me . It's good to hear from you! Hope all is well. -Oct
  19. Day 100 I'm proud to say today is my 100th day without playing games. Now I must be a little honest here, I have played less than 1 hour of digital card games for research purposes within the last week. I've also logged into Overwatch and messed around the training room for less than 10 minutes before logging off. I'd say i'm in an interesting position. I don't want to play games, but I do want to socialize with people. Playing games was an easy way of 'doing' that. I understand that I need to find a way to schedule time to recharge this way, as my current work schedule does not accommodate an easy way to do this now. I spend my time when I'm not working, working on my company. I'm quite productive, but I'm also very stressed at the moment. I'm looking into other alternatives to alleviate this. Still meditating and going to the gym as well. -Oct
  20. Day 90, Today marks my second completed 90 days. Surprisingly, the second time around was much harder on the tail-end for me. Funny that I speak of this as if I'm going back to playing games today. Absolutely not looking to jump back into it. Recharging my batteries has been challenging. Dealing with stress lately has been tricky too. I tend to play board games to recharge in a similar fashion, akin to playing a video game, but my current schedule makes this a little difficult as I work weekends. I'll need to venture out a bit more and see what I can do to find more people to meet up with on the regular. I still meditate daily, go to the gym three days a week, work on company stuff, and create. Does anyone have any suggestions for dealing with cravings at this point? I understand they're mostly stress induced. -Oct
  21. Day 80, It's been a bit of a odd last few days. I'm not too sure why, but my game cravings have kicked in. I think this is due to work being crazy stressful lately. I also feel that I haven't been able to get in any board game time (my substitute) recently as my schedule is a little weird. I think I've cheated as of recently but I'm not 100% sure. I've been doing a study on a card game for one of my projects. It's a card fighting game that's basically street fighter in a card format. Now as I've been unable to get in some real sit down time with the game, I was messing around on the producers website checking over decks and such. I know they used to run a unity version a bit back on the site, but I was under the impression they canned that version for the Steam and IOS ones. I did some digging and found the old web version of the card game was still live and kicking. I was messing with the digital version for about an hour and a half before bed. Now, technically it's a video game, however I'm not looking to make any excuses here. I feel it's cutting it a little close even though I consider it research. I prefer to play the physical game when I can, but I've been considering messing around with the app more but at the same time I don't want to fall into the trap of going back into bad habits. (I should probably stop listening to the Donkey Kong Country 2 OST as well... nostalgia is two sides of the same coin...) So here I am day 80. I feel very neutral at the moment. I know what will happen to me if I go back into gaming, which I want to avoid, especially since I just spent a fair sum on the first batch of one of my games (woo!) Hanging there for now. Shooting for 90 days. -Oct
  22. Day 72, Still moving along. Focusing on completing the things I want to do. Nothing really drastic going down, just working a bunch, going to the gym, meditating, and being creative. See ya in 8 days. -Oct
  23. Day 62, When I first decided to stop gaming, I committed to 90 days. I ended at 110 days when I slowly went back into gaming. This all happened in 2016. It's crazy to me to think that was two years go. I feel better as the time goes on, knowing i'm not held down by my own distractions. Not to say that everything is perfect, because it's absolutely still a process in the other struggles in my life. But I gain more confidence as time continues. I'm at a point right now where i'm about to produce one of my current projects. (For those that don't know, i'm a board game dev. Ironic I know.) I have absolutely no guarantee things will go well during this process, but I've been focused on making sure I do everything in my power to make sure it does. I'm more or less doing this all by myself. Learning how to work with oversea manufactures and the logistics. I've been patient with this process however. Most importantly for me right now: trying to remove toxic people from my life. I live in a highly toxic environment at the moment. I have one strong lead on getting out but I won't know for sure if it will happen or not until the end of the week. I believe once I do move on in this way, things will get even better. Looking forward to seeing the day I double this day's number. -Oct
  24. Day 54, It's been relatively smooth sailing. Gets easier as the days carry on. I've overall progressively more and more productive as time carries on. I had my cousin reach out recently, he's big in the competitive gaming scene. We were catching up, mostly game chat. I end up sharing an old video I saved (literally the only one I ever saved) of a game I played where I did a real cool thing. I was a small little smirk moment for me, but I've been too focused on moving forward to think about going back now. I'm motivated on getting to a place I want to be. I feel like I've woken up from a long, long slumber. Now awake to only want to catch up and make some cool stuff. See ya again in 6ish days.
  25. Day 40, Cavings come and go. Been peaking higher as it's currently a seasonal event for the one game I played. It gets easier to ignore it as time goes on however. I've been feeling a fair bit of pressure to get my design down on some of the project's I'm working on. As most of the energy I put into games as seeped into my work, it's been proving tricky to navigate, mostly because it requires more patiences. I've been working for a week now, in a job that's just a means to an end. I've rejoined a company I used to work for two years ago. It can be quite stressful, but I've been focusing most of my energy and time maintaining myself this time apposed to being distracted when I worked previously. The pay is good. An acquaintance I know from the industry I'm in recently announced they have cancer. (37) years old, just got married last year with cancer. Really made me upset to hear. I starting thinking about myself after hearing that. Made me think about what I'm doing with my life. Made me think that could be me in the next 5 - 10 years. It was a real mortality shock. On a more chipper note - I did go on a date last week as well. It was alright, just didn't motivate me, as I met her online. Online dating is quite tricky. It's like throwing two people in a room together that look good on paper. Most of the time it doesn't stick. But I don't want to hurt this person, as I know they like me more than I do them. But I want to be as mindful of my actions in as a respectful manner as possible. Easy to say, hard to execute. Still sailing, onward to day 50. -Oct