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Everything posted by thomas

  1. Hi, six months since last post here. during this time i have been gaming a little bit, not too much, maybe some days. anyways, same problem as always and i'm about to relapse or something. just bought a mouse and mousepad and my hands are shaking at the moment. i started drinking halfway through january and now my friends jokingly call me the alchoholic of our friendsgroup, not without reason. i don't drink in weekdays though, but i tend to drink too much whenever there is a party, that's scandinavian drinking culture i guess. i also tried cannabis and cigarettes, it was like drinking alcohol, wont do it again. hate my life at the moment, just felt i had to let all you who reads this know what is going on, atleast on the gaming front. two days ago i was out of my mind happy, there was a party and everything was litterally perfect, and now things are shitty. i am going to see a psykologist in the not so distant future, so that will be nice i hope. i'll check in on this topic and let you know when i get back on track.
  2. thanks alot for the amazing comments. don't worry, i can't And sometimes positive emotions need a valve as well. But if you do play, try to watch how you feel and what happens inside of you. its not so much the positive emotions, but i think that might contribute in the form of fear of success or something. that i want my goal and dream to stay a dream. what is most difficult for me is loneliness. i am lonely. i do hang out with friends from time to time, but i dont feel like it's enough. i have days, especially days where i dont have school, where i want to be with someone and have fun, but no one is available. when that happens i feel abandoned. i know its normal for friends to be busy and i do not want them to prioratize me over others, but i need people to be with aswell, you know? sigh... gaming is an escape, and i am really good at it too. hard to explain what i feeling right now. i definetly feel sorry for myself, embarassing. all i have for you now, i think updating here daily will help. thank you SO much for the comments, they were lovely <3
  3. i am playing videogames at the moment. feels like i have let you down. today i had one my best training sessions ever and when i got home i started playing. lately it has just been too much for me. anyways, after meditating every day for over 6 months, i have become much more aware of my life and the present mment and so on. what i am trying to say is that i can already FEEL that i dont want to do this, but kind of need to right now i guess. i have gotten another job as a parkour trainer, and maybe this is the fear of success kicking in, i dont know. i need a break from this self-actualization for a bit. i am keeping my meditation habit though.
  4. guysssssssss. im gettin urges again. this is pathetic... writing this a while after this times "rock bottom" so i see the humor in it. i am currently rationalizing to myself that it is ok to game because its fun, and you know, what's fun is good because it makes you happy right? anyhow, Cam's/your video on how relapsing wont change anything really really really REALLY is a huge motivation. it cuts through all the crap and tells the truth, that you got bigger problems on your hands now. furthermore (got that word from my essaywriting), i am telling myself that there is no problem in moderate gaming, as long as it doesnt affect my training and so on. BUT! i read about a guy, and i think he was from norway aswell, who started gaming a little bit, and then fell into a full on relapse, playing 8-10 hours per day. so i guess its true that gaming is fine if it doesnt affect other areas of my life, but that is rarely the case, i tend to become absorbed. one more thing! i am playing chess atm. online... i am using this as an escape i know, it fulfills my need for mesurable growth as well as challenge and so on. i kinda dont want to quit playing chess, probably because i am afraid of what i would fill this time with. i am playing a fair bit, not like before of course, but 4-5 hours a week? not sure really. but it is probably too much already. board-chess is fine, i know <3 fml and have a good day <3
  5. this is all happening (i think) because i am currently sick and unable to practice/train. being sick really attacks my ability to work on my purpose and mission and this is where the gaming addiction attacks. i am working towards becomming a worldclass master in parkour/movement and having my own training gym. i am going to travel the world making videos and having fun training <3 i am going to do this, it isnt just wishfull thinking
  6. I want to start gaming again. runescape looks like so much fun... sooo yeah, over a year since quitting i still get big urges. i dont go well with videogames though, it is destructive and i cannot control myself so i wont try.
  7. My dad sent me this unrelated to any videogames or anything, but it struck me. i can relate to the feeling of hopelessness from gaming and wanting it to stop. enjoy the picture
  8. Thanks alot, much luck to you as well Thank you, i am glad it helped. a thing to note if you are just starting out: a relapse is not worth it, you think that it will make you happy but it wont, you just feel worse, remind yourself of that when you have cravings. been there done that, not fun. and good luck! i believe that if i can do this, anyone can. i was (am, sort off) as addicted as anyone else.
  9. That really warmed my heart <3 It actually became warmer, wierd. maybe that's where the saying comes from then
  10. Hello, two weeks ago i had my 1 year anniversary of quitting games, i can safely say it is the most difficult thing i have done in my entire life, it is the effort i am most proud of. i am glad i did this. hopefully this will inspire at least one of you. the first week of stopping is the worst, the withdrawal symptoms are rude to you! not only do you want to game, this disease plays tricks on your mind,telling you that you cannot do it, that gaming isnt that bad and so on, so you relapse. the disease targets your weakest parts, your social anxiety, your virginity, lack of friends, no hobbies, and tell you that there is no hope, so you relapse. however there IS hope, you can go outside, you can make friends, you can get a girlfriend, you can get a job, you can do it, you can quit gaming. the first week goes by and you are feeling great, you are high on the "im quitting" drug. then comes the low, you want to play again when the weekend comes, or worse, a vacation. still got no friends or hobbies, you just filled your time doing the "one time" activities that you knew of, but nothing permanent. you perservere. a month goes by and you have only had minor urges, nothing dramatic. you are starting to earn your stimulation, you realise that your body is done collecting dust in front of the computer, so you work out. this helps for a couple of days, then comes another high, this time on the "look at me i am working out" drug. then another low. you dont want to work out, and since this was your go-to activity now, you are bored, stuck at home. you dont want to go outside, even though the sun is shining. massive urges approach. the disease targets you weak parts again, still virgin, i knew this wouldn't work, not even getting stronger, fuck this... another month goes by, and another. you reach 90 days. extatic, you feel the momentum jumping up a couple of notches. whenever you wanna game, you tell yourself "but i did 90 days, cant quit now" so you dont. you have found your activity that you like, whenever you are bored, you do it. however you dont though... sometimes you just want to relax, no training, but no gaming, how does that work out? six months. not THAT special, you got a girlfriend, no longer a virgin, got friends, getting good at your activity. things are nice. all of this from just six months? 9 months no games and another low hits... loneliness strikes fucking hard. you want to binge on gaming, and you do... to a certain extent you failed, you did play games for a couple of days, but you realised that this isnt what you want so you quit again. am i back to 0? nah. but you have to start the momentum train again, and its tough in the beginning. however this time you know the pitfalls, how you feel after you start relapsing, so you have the tools to avoid it next time. 1 year. 50 hours gaming this year, "its alot better than the 2-3 or 4 thousand from last year". you and your girlfriend break up, isnt that bad, however you spent alot of time with her, now what do you fill it with? not gaming right? but from 10 years of gaming, it is still your default go-to filler. you dont though, you are committed to never play a single game again. you figure it out, more training. will i ever get a new girlfriend? will i have sex again? "i just got lucky with her..." "im not even attractive", "im not good with women". you catch yourself, these are only thoughts, you try getting a girlfriend now, everyone rejects you. feels bad man. however this time, it isnt that bad, it is only a girl. if she doesnt like me, i wouldnt want to be with her anyway. but she was hot and i want sex. well fuck. 10 days ago. started nofap. gotta fix this issue with relationships and sex and porn and masturbation. previous record is 10 days as a bet. one week on pure motivation. nofap isnt that bad, dont need porn or orgasms to stay alive. loneliness strikes again. still want a girlfriend, not sure its because i want to fill the hole of not having sex or the hole of not having someone to rely on and to cuddle with. cannot get one... you have stuck your neck out for two girls now after the breakup, no luck. "am i even attractive?". you sink into what you think might be a depression, however you are not sure. it wasnt a depression. feel good now. present: what i am trying to tell you is that this sircle never stops. in the end of this journey the problem will not even be gaming, you will have moved on to bigger problems. that being said, the urges are always there, they never went away for me at least, you just learn to cope with them better and better. this is not a sunshine story, i went through alot of ups and downs but that's life! i would not trade this for anything else, i like where i am at the moment, i see a good future ahead, without gaming. love you Cam, i know i say this alot, but man you changed my life. i knew i had to quit gaming, but had no idea how, you showed me the way over the biggest hurdle in my life so far. this (gaming) being such a core issue in my life, i have had to improve every single aspect of it in order to "conquer" the addiction. this made me a much better person, thank you.
  11. Thank you very much, that was just what i needed to hear. you put my thoughts into words :-)
  12. Hello fellow Norwegian late happy birthday from me haha. good job on getting twelve days! I have found that the longer you go without gaming, there more momentum you get, you can then use that momentum to stay away for even longer
  13. Oh my. It has been a year since i first posted here. as far as the update goes: I am still not gaming, HOWEVER, i have played a little bit of browser/facebook games lately, though i just quit those too. i have never been this good in parkour in my life, I even got a job as a parkour trainer at my local open gym!! i have taken up rock-climbing and Aikido as i feel those reflect my personality. I have grown alot in the past year, more so than ever before in my life, cannot even believe it myself. 4 months of daily meditation and still going. right now i am going through a low in my life, it is just a phase, but i feel the urge to lock my self up, play video games and eat junk. we all experience this as far as i know. one thing that is really comforting is the fact that i am only 17 years old. when i think of my life purpose (which i am currently figuring out, almost got it btw) i think that i have to do it right away. when the fact is that i (probably) have several decades to complete whatever i wish. one goal is spiritual enlightenment, which is where the meditation comes in. but yeah, i have time. thank you everyone, if it werent for all of you and this site i wouldnt be able to quit even though i felt i needed to <3 see you next year or if i relapse (jokes) PS: I just re-read all the posts on this topic, and found some interesting stuff to comment on. Cam: you recomended "the power of habit" a while ago, and i recently borrowed it from a friend, really interesting . another thing, me and my girlfriend broke up two weeks ago and i am unsure how i feel about it. we werent really doing great in our relationship, however we had no common interests and i felt i wasn't growing anymore from the relationship, so we broke up ( i initiated the break up, but it was a mutual decision if you get me ). the problem is that i am now going through this "did i make a mistake?" "i will never get a new girl who likes me" and all of this. becuase she was nice! really kind you know? just want to let you know. heck. you guys probably know more about this than i do. how do you cope with this kind of stuff?
  14. I am pretty sure it comes from my lack of purpose. today i have had little to no cravings, and this is because i can see where i am going with what i am currently doing. i am working on fixing this as i am taking Leo gura's "life purpose course". my small relapse i think was due to a need for escape and easy stimulation. to fix this second problem i am starting a nofap period, with no porn, minimal masturbation, and next to no orgasms. i think this will improve my willpower to go out there and "earn" my stimulation things are working out.
  15. I nearly stared playing videogames today, somehow the cravings have gotten really really bad. i was 80% through downloading LoL, but i cancelled it. i remembered my promise to myself and you guys, but at the time, i felt like i was going to say "fuck it" and game, but here i am, no games. i will keep my promise. never ever game never ever again. thank you for the support, it really helps, thank you Cam for this website <3
  16. thomas

    My Journal

    We have all been there! and you can do it Jeffrey! the first week is the absolute worst (it was for me at least), getting out of the house by any means neccesary is a great way to take your mind of things. the craving will start to fade after a while, i know it sounds impossible, but that's what happened to me at least. good luck to you.
  17. Okay... a couple of days ago, i played some video games at a friends house, i have done this a couple times before where i play with some friends. however, i always said "never play by yourself". in the last 4-5 days, i have been playing some games alone, i installed runescape, and also league of legends i installed today. i just uninstalled both because i can feel the relapse comming. i played two matches on league, and i can already feel my body changing, shaking from the stimulation. so now, i am posting here for a couple of reasons. 1: to let you know, and to promise to myself, that i will NEVER play a single video game ever again, at a friends house, alone, mobile, NEVER. i can't control myself. 2: to get some advice from the rest of you who have most likely been through the same thing 3: to confess to someone i guess. i am still counting 14th of october as my day of quitting, as i have only played around 10 hours in the past five days, or what do you guys think? should i reset the timer? have two timers? thanks for any responses cheers -Thomas EDIT: just finnished deleting the games, it sort of feels like starting over. i will make it no matter what, this will be the one where i quit. it's funny, the first time i tried to quit, i just quit playing games on my computer, i would watch TV and play on my playstation. second time, (up til now) i would only play with friends, AND NOW i will not play EVER. this is growth in every sense of the word, therefore i won't need to feel guilty, i have learned from this and will apply it in the future. also, guilt won't help me haha.
  18. okay, so i have now gone 95 days without gaming and this may be my last post here, i still can not believe that i managed to overcome my heavy addiction and i would like to thank everyone that replied to my journalposts, and thank Cam especially for making the game quitters forum and the videos that i watched, they really helped me Cam. now you can know that you pretty much saved my life from the consequences of the gaming addiction, and for that i am very gratefull. i have started personal development and playing the guitar, drawing, im practising parkour more than ever before. THANK YOU once again!
  19. We did it! 30 days baby! I cannot belive it. Well actually i can :-) this is the best thing i have done in my life and i love every second of it! By all means, i could maybe use some fine-tuning : now for instance i have a couple hours before bed and i am not sure what to do. However this is improving every day. my life is at an all-time high, im exercising with a whole new motivation, i am starting to reach my parkour goals that i set for my self a while back. I just got a girlfriend! This is absolutely huge for me, i have never had a girlfriend before, i have had female friends but you know. I have never really been able to get one, and i do belive it has some of its roots in the gamingaddiction. I have never had my first kiss untill now, and boy was it great i am working out more, eating as healthy as i have ever done before, girlfriend. I want to thank you Cam very much! I tried quitting once before, but i ended up playing console games instead. This time it is for real. I say no more tv for ever, this means no netflix or cable tv, if im alone, this way i dont do those things without being social at the same time. I still watch youtube, which is bad. But overall, things are looking up for me. for the record, i am Norwegian my name is Thomas for the one who asked, and i havent played awasomeanauts i would like to thank the rest of you that replied to my thread aswell, it is really encouraging to see support, atleast in the first week. -Thomas
  20. Day 15. Over two weeks now! My days have become much richer than they were before, for example today. I came home around half past four or so, and i had quite alot of time on my hands. I called up a friend of mine, however she was bussy, bummer. Instead of going down to my room, downloading all my games again, i decided tobake a bread for my first time! It is almost ready for the oven, so you will have to wait for a picture ^^ not only that, my social life has improved, i never feel bored when i am with other people, this was an issue before because ofthe high stimulation. A couple of days ago, i gave away my steam account! Huge step, next step is to sell/give away/delete my lol account and archeage account. This needs to be done, however i would like some money for my LoL account, just to get something back for the money i invested. Things are going fantastic, i am so happy i did this! I am also encouraging my friend that plays alot of games to quit aswell. He wont budge though. i cant wait to reach 100 days or so, just so that my brain is fully rewired, and i can have more fun doing other things, i have sometimes felt like i wanted to make a bread, but it seemed like so much effort compared to gaming, so i wouldnt do it. BUT NOW! I felt got the idea of making a bread, got a sudden urge for it, and i felt wonderfull while doing it. I love the way i can spend my time doing productive things, and actually feel good when i go to bed at night. Another thing that was really encouraging for me was these two instances: 1: i got tickets to the premiere of the new star wars movie, and i told someone at the gymnastics class that i was going, one of them asked me "do you play video games, everyone i know that is seeing that move are gamers." And i could say no!!!!! AHH And it felt amazing! Second time was when someone in my class saw a rage comic about a gamers life (get out of bed, game, fap (lol) game some more, and go to bed) now bear in mind i have just started going to high school, so i dont really know these people THAT well, but a guy that i joke with him and jokes back and what not. He said "i swear man, this is so you" and once again. I. Said. Nope. "I dont play games" the motivation, i swear Is unreal. Just wanted to share my thought of the past week. And i gotta put my bread in the oven
  21. Hi again! day 7&8 has gone pretty well, i actually find myself not sitting down and becomming bored as often, i try to do something productive and helpfull every chance i get. For example today after school i got home and went for a walk eith a friend of mine, i then got home and had an exercise-session with the boxing bag, i then took a shower, put some food in the oven, and meditated for like 10min and tgen ate dinner. After that i did a bit of homework and helped my young sister with some too. And now i am here. I havent wasted any time today while at home and i did so withoyt gaming, feels good. coding is going great, i love codecademy.com as it taught me everything from the ground up, however i do need to go through the sessions again to fully learn it, this is when it seems a bit boring. But i wont give up on it, this is a skill i want to learn. 4. I am grateful for being able to go to school for free and at all 5. I am VERY grateful for non-salted nuts that come only with the ones i like and not nuts like almonds ^^ 6. I am gratefull for this website and your support, it makes me feel like i am not alone :-)
  22. day 5 almost over, today i woke up and created a drawing along with my young sister. i have started to learn coding, i find it both fun and challenging, however i dont feel the same feeling of mastery as i did with for example gaming, this is not an issue by the way, im just putting my thoughts down. it is a very comfortable hobby because i sat down at the computer, put on some music and learned to code. today was the first day since i started where i opened my computer. i went for a jog, which was nice. i made dinner today and i have watched a bit of the world championship in league of legends. (while i was making dinner, i had it on in the background while i was learning to code) today felt like a resting day, as i am tired from the past days where i practiced gymnastics for multiple hours each day. i am going to meditate and probably just code some more and dont do much really. this weekend went suprisingly well without games, however i do feel like i want to play, mostly when i have these hours ahead of me where i am unsure what to do. tomorrow is monday, with school and all. when i get home i will eat, go for a jog, practice coding and that is going to be that day. good night 1. i am grateful for a comfortable bed. i realised this when i got a small matress to put over my normal one, this made it very comfortable. 2. i am grateful for the internet, being able to look up anything i am wondering about makes it really easy to make a tasty dinner. 3. i am grateful for not having such a hard time at school, having understood how i learn what i need to learn at school in a effective way.
  23. Quick update, no gaming, i did not open my computer (havent for the past days) i went training gymnastics/freerunning with my friends and got home pretty late, ate dinner and went to bed. I am starting to think about the "fun" i had playing games but i always bring myself back to the thought that it is a destructive hobby and only covers up the real reason, why i play them. Anyways, off to bed