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Zaxxon added a topic in Start Here + IntroductionsLife long addict taking step 1.Hi Game Quitter Forum,
My name is Zack. I’m a musician living in Pennsylvania in the USA.
To say that entering into this program to quit playing video games is a big step for me is an understatement. I had a revelation this morning while watching Cam’s video “Why You Should Stop Playing Video Games” on YouTube. It was, and still is, very hard for me to admit but, I am now 40 years old and I am a lifelong video game addict.
My upbringing was rough. My mom was a flight attendant and my father was a workaholic attorney. The net result of this was that I was alone much more than a young child should be. I was a latch key kid. As early as third grade, I would sometimes be left alone for days. For as long as I remember I had a video game console, starting with the first Atari. I am sure that in the beginning it was just “fun and games.” However, somewhere along the way I am also sure that being able to move pixels around on a TV screen became an escape from my not so great reality.
I played on and off through high school. My grades weren’t great. But I was great at video games. My senior year of high school, I didn’t game and I recognize it as one of the best years of my life.
I got a computer for college. This is back in the earliest days of the web. I started playing RPGs. I remember one time I went through a bitter break up with a girlfriend. She moved out of the country and broke it off. I was heartbroken. I literally dropped her off, went straight from the airport to a video game store and bought a Gamecube. It was how I dealt with the heavy emotions.
I lived in Austin, TX for awhile. We didn’t have a TV on purpose. This was one of my most prolific times as a songwriter. But I still managed to overdue it with the original Diablo. Thus launching my love affair with Blizzard games.
I got into the best music school on the planet. I had a 4.0 grade point average every semester until the last one, when I started playing WoW. I got a couple D grades. Ruined the perfect record. Beyond that, who knows what kind of networking and friendships I missed out on due to the long nights raiding in front of a glowing box.
I got married. I tried to get my wife to play WoW. She didn’t. I went on to secretly play 4 - 6 hours a night. I quit when I released my second album. Also, noted as one of the best artistic times of my life.
I ruptured a disc in my back L4/L5. Tried everything to fix it. Finally ended up having surgery. I was on hard core opiate pain killers for 3 years. Many, many times my routine was to pop a few pills and then play WoW. It became a double addiction. I was playing 15 hours a day on weekends.
Finally, I recently went through a divorce after being married for 15 years. Many of our problems had to do with finances. I am successful. But, only just enough to keep life decent. I went out immediately when she left and bought a PS4. (See a pattern here?) I have been playing Destiny and Neverwinter like crazy.
Last night I couldn’t sleep because I just knew today was the day that I was going to quit. I am so very thankful to have found this course. I took the first step. I went and deleted all of my games on the PS4. Later today, I am going to sell the console and probably the TV as well. I also deleted Pillars of Destiny from my computers.
I look back on my entire life and wonder, what might my life be like today if I had gotten angry enough, frustrated enough, motivated enough to stand up and make positive change instead of being lulled into passivity by glowing screens. What songs would I have written? What career moves might I have made? You see…. that is the real killer of video game addiction. It’s the subtle easing of a person’s normal feelings into a catatonic state of false peace. There is nothing in this world more valuable than time. I refuse to let anymore be wasted on video games.
I look forward to meeting all of you. I want to say thank you in advance for any help you might lend my way during this journey. I also want to extend any help I can lend to you.
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