I was not the kind of guy who goes to a fast food very often before.
Now, I am the kind of guy who NEVER goes to a fast food. There is so many reason to avoid them: the food, of course, but also how they treat their slaves (or is it their employees?), the business model they have... McDonald for example, they are criminals in white shirts. They go as far as to make the light in the restaurant uncomfortable so that people leave earlier, to make more space for others. And this is just one example. Not the worst.
I had another dream this night, unrelated to video-games (at last). Guess what, it was a nightmare. Which made me asks myself a few questions. In the nightmare, I was in deep troubles because I had some exams to pass, and did not study a word of them. As in dreams like this, it was super-important stuff, and I was overly emotional (okay please don't call the cops on me, at some point if I recall I was strangling some dude).
I could easily dismiss this as another nightmare, which are not uncommon for me to have. But I decided to dig deeper with this. Because this is the kind of event that can still happen in my life, as it did happen in the past (except strangling someone). I miss a year of school in the past, because I was not focusing on studies, and was playing too much games. The routine was, wake up, do some computer, go to school, at the end of the day come home, run through my homeworks, and play, a little too late into the night.
I never had any real difficulties with homework in the past, and my mother was always making me do them. Then another school year started, and suddenly she was not there anymore. I gradually slipped with my grades. Then after several years, I reached the "critical mass" of not learning: not enough knowledge to simply go through class without working.
I can not continue like this, and let things like that happen to me. Each time this is the same story: Okay, the exam is over, boy, that was stressful. This time is the last. I will work on those things seriously now. And in reality, I never change anything. Just thinking of it, I have been doing the same mistakes over and over, for years.
I am thinking about this, and I am asking myself questions about the whole thing. If I were to give advices on how to miss a year of school, how to mess up exams, what would those advice be ? When I want to make a change, what are the obstacles I find in front of me ? I have not gotten used to having troubles understanding something. I am not used to trying, over and over, experimenting different things, to learn something challenging.
This year can be different, and I am not going to make my usual speeches on how this year, I get it all right. I am not a politician, I am not here to make myself blind promises I will not keep. I am more of an engineer. I need to figure this out, find tools and strategy, and apply them.
Studies will be my number one priority. When I really want to work on something, I get up early, and work on it before anything else in my day. I am going to do just that for classes, as well as other techniques. I prefer to use this for personal projects, but if I also set up a time where I stop working on studies at the end of the day, and am free to work on my projects, go out... then I am sure it will be much easier to pursue my own projects. After a day of school, you just don't come back home, happy that you still haven't finished the day since you need one or two hours on your lessons, homeworks. Motivation for this is hard. But coming back home, and being able to pursue your passion, the hobbies that you like ? Of course you won't get as much as you could have if you did them first thing in the morning. But you will more easily spend hours on something like that, than on complex class material, that even if you are interested in, is just work.