Hey all posting after few years will be off but here we go...
As you might expect i relapsed soon after my last post . This time somehow I convinced myself im ok and this whole being addicted bulshit doesn't affect me, as I can control it . So I went big and bought ps 5... with latest battlefield game . It was 08.2023. I don't want to tell the whole story as don't want to bore you. On the beginning it worked , I read books still, enjoyed life not jsut games , played occasionally.
Now in the last 6months , I have some personal and marriage problems , also at work problems . And what I'm doing is I play whenever I have free time ( even at work) . I noticed I don't do anything really in my free time apart from gaming ...
why is worst I think is across these few years my addicted self secured myself with telling my closest friends that I wasn't addicted and not sure why I labelled myself as such... ( only now to tell them again I was right) so I don't know how to tell them I had real problem seriously , they will think I'm unreliable person
I feel awful . I'm angry at myself and I want to cry .
I don't know how to handle it for now. All I know gaming again is screwing my life .
I'm sorry for not sorted thoughts but cannnot I think about anything else than gaming now and wanted to do this entry as a last attempt to again save myself .
Day one of not playing .
By
reader ·