More Reflections I wrote about trialing a single player game after my thirty day detox.  I was never about eliminating games entirely.  I've swung back and forth recently about the idea of abolishing them altogether, or playing a computer game that does not require so much dedication and time opposed to MMORPG's that I have played in the past.  The one thing I noticed lately was my high irritability and quick-to-anger problem that was related to gaming.  I didn't like what I observed about myself.  And I was becoming more and more agitated the longer I played.  I've been informed that this is normal.  Anything that was 'time-based' in a game, in which you must complete this and that before the time runs out, makes me feel so rushed and frustrated.  When you add other gamers into the mix, it's a concoction for rage.  I can't tolerate that feeling anymore.  It's very disturbing, and it's like a complete personality change.  I went back to watch Game Quitter videos and even other Youtube videos about game raging.  It was really disturbing that I identified with some of the behavior.  I wouldn't necessarily smash my laptop, but I certainly behaved in a way that a child would behave in a temper tantrum.  It was absurd and embarrassing.  The prospect that this type of behavior has become 'the norm' in some video games, is a sad thing to accept.  And gaming is only becoming more and more popular, creating sub-cultures of people young and old who endure no consequences for bad behavior.  You're anonymous, you can delete your character and start over, and rinse/repeat the bad behavior.   Anyway, I think I'm falling away from my main point.  If, in fact, my irritability rises at all while I'm playing the single player game, I would like to seriously reconsider my future with gaming.  It may be that I'm too sensitive to this type of visual entertainment.  The future experiment will tell all, as I'll be documenting everything. Back to Work I saw my specialist yesterday to determine whether I am able to take on more four hour shifts at the office.  I had an accident that involved my hand a few months ago, and required a cast and resting splint.  It's healing well and I give thanks to my employer for allowing some workplace accommodations until I am fully able to handle full-time work again.  Having all this time off led me to explore mmorpg's again before I started my thirty-day detox.  I guess I was bored and when you're not at a job, you can slide into a very bad habit of doing absolutely nothing worthwhile, over-sleeping, over-eating, over-spending, and gaming.  I'm actually very happy to be at work when I am able to.  It's a social job and I work with many people in a small office.  People often leave treats like donuts or cookies (all of which I can't eat lol).  But it boosts morale and breaks the tension.  It's not a perfect environment, but at least it gets me out of the house, encourages me to be social, and it quickens my mind as well.  In the next several weeks, my employer and disability consultant will be setting up a proper return-to-work plan.  I should be fully back to work by the beginning of January next year.  I'm hopeful.  I am having some trouble filling my day with activities.  I try to get out of the house to take walks as long as I can, or go to the library, exercise at the gym, have a coffee somewhere.  Anything to get me out of the house and away from the computer screen.  So far I'm doing okay.  Another idea of mine is to visit local art galleries, farmer's markets, craft fairs, etc.  I'm going to plan out my calendar soon, and schedule off-work days with outside activities.   Discussion with Family about Gaming Accountability I spoke to my sister on the phone and explained to her why I don't want to participate in their multi-player game, even though it would only be three of us which includes myself, my sister, and her husband.  I think I felt rushed trying to explain why, but she was patient.  She did ask me what made me choose not to play video games.  I told her that gaming makes me more irritable and frustrated, especially when I game with other people.  I told her that after thirty days, I'll be trialing a single player 'cozy' game that I can do in my spare time, and one that does not have a timer.  She was very understanding and offered some cozy game suggestions.  One of them she mentioned has a good story-line with a lot of dialogue.  I thought, this type of game might work well for me because I can read the story and there's no rush to complete objectives in the game.  This might be manageable.  

SLEEP I woke up today at 5:30 a.m. to go to bathroom, went back to sleep and woke up at 8:30 a.m.  Yesterday I went to sleep at 11:45 pm.  In total, my body needed eight and a half hours of sleep.  I didn't have trouble getting out of bed this morning.  I know that my regular sleep hours are between eight to nine hours a day.  I've attempted to calibrate my sleep regime by adjusting the time I get to bed.  I think it works if I get to sleep by 10:30 pm to 11:00 pm, and wake up at 7:00 a.m.  That's my goal, anyhow.  I'm working on this so that my body is acclimated to a full-time work schedule, since I'll be going back to my job in a few months.  Thankfully this is enough time to practice. Tonight, it is 9:45 pm, as I type out my journal.  I'll try to get this finished by 10:00 pm, and leave myself an hour to prepare for bed.  Which means no computers, no phone by my bed, a book to read, turn off all bright lights, adjust the heat to a comfortable temperature, no heavy fluids before bed, one melatonin tablet. EXERCISE Today I did not walk outside due to the pouring rain.  Instead, I went to the mall and walked a brisk pace upstairs and downstairs, wearing my running shoes, and not stopping to browse in the stores.  I timed myself, and I was speed walking for about twenty five to thirty minutes non-stop.  I wasn't out of breath, but I could feel my heart-rate become faster as I continued walking.  At home, I used free-weights to work on upper body, started one rep of sit-ups (boy am I out of shape!) and also stretched.  DIET I am continuously adjusting my keto diet.  I had a lapse today at Ikea and ate a small slice of cheesecake.  However, I had the salmon with vegetables and a light sauce.  To drink, I had a small coffee with cream/milk and sweetener.  In addition, I bought their carbonated water with pear flavor.  I was quite full after.  I still incorporate intermittent fasting, which means that I do not eat anything past 6:30 pm until the next morning when I eat a brunch from 11:00 a.m. to 12:00 pm.  That's about 17-18 hours of fasting.  I am pre-diabetic, and I'd like to take control of my diet now before it's too late.   SOCIAL  Nothing social today.  Family and friends are at work, and I just wanted to stay at home today because of the dreary weather.    CRAFTS/ART I worked on my painting today, and sculpture.  They are not near finished yet, but I enjoy the process.  I can take my time and pay attention to detail.  I stayed focused on my artwork for about three hours, while listening to music for half of that time.  Later, I turned on my computer to watch a movie as I worked on the projects, which was another hour or so.   READING I have another little book about encouraging passages, poems, phrases.  it's great because the content is easy to read.  It's focus is on reflection about one's day, and how to handle some things in life that can be negative and hopeless.  I read through a few poems and reflected upon them for a while.  I noticed my mood lifted after reading this book.  It reminds me of another favorite book of mine called The Book of Awesome written by Neil Pasricha.  You know, I really miss books!  Especially ones that are inspirational and make you feel 'good'.  I want to attempt reading more novels, but right now I simply can't focus that long.  Maybe in the near future, I'll peruse the library and find a good novel.  By the way, I hate reading from a computer screen!  I love the feeling of holding a book and turning the pages.  I own several hardcopy editions of stories that I have loved since I was a child.  Most of them are the classics like A Christmas Carol, The Count of Monte Cristo, Les Miserables, etc.   SPIRITUALITY I've been slacking with prayers and I know that my attitude lately has been affected by increased irritability, restlessness, and I think a mild state of depression.  The gloomy weather does not help.  When I went for walks last week, I felt so elated, and welcomed the bright sun by standing in its glow for several minutes at a time, soaking in the warm rays.  I noticed that my mood shifted this week when rain started falling again.  I just felt so down.  Anyway, tonight, I'll be praying for people I know, and also people on this forum who may need encouragement. I don't know who you are, but I'll say a prayer for everyone.  We all need a bit of comfort in life these days.   REFLECTIONS Overall, today has been relatively okay.  I have nothing to complain about, except that I hope I can get through the gloomy winter months.  I intentionally go to places that are bright.  In fact, that is the primary reason I went to Ikea today to eat an inexpensive meal in their bright cafeteria.   I think that I can benefit from a reward at the end of each week (or every two weeks), for staying away from unnecessary and meaningless computer use.  I'm not sure what the reward will be.  I do not want it to be food, that's for sure.  Maybe it can be a thirty minute massage every two weeks?  I think it's good if I look forward to something because I appreciate having an external motivation, and not just patting myself on the back for a job well done.  Maybe I can treat myself out to a movie with friends or family?  Or attend other events like a local theatre performance, an art gallery, enjoying the music of a band at my local pub, etc.    Reward System 1 STAR per day -- no gaming 14 STARS -- reward --- > go to a movie, book a massage, buy a favorite hard cover book, treat myself to a nice dinner outside by myself or with friends/family. I think that a two-week time period is short enough to achieve my goal of gaming abstinence, and then reward myself.  Rather than waiting until the end of thirty days.  After thirty days of not gaming, I will reinstall a single player 'cozy' game that I can play at leisure, and no more than one hour at a time.  I won't have to deal with other people in this game, it's my own world, and my hope is that I won't feel compelled to stay online that long either.  When I reintroduce this game into my life, my journal will record when I play it and how long for the next several weeks.  I'd like to document if there is a pattern, and whether the pattern is negatively affecting my time that could be spent doing something else.  I'll also document my mood too, and pay attention to how I'm feeling when I game.  Do I feel lonely?  Do I feel bored?  Do I feel addicted to finishing tasks in this game?  Hopefully I can balance real life hobbies like my paintings and sculpture with a single player game.  I know I can never play an MMORPG again.  Ever.  It is too time consuming.  I get irritated easily with other people online, I get upset easily with the continual grind.  Last but not least,  MMO's tend to be more costly than other games due to upcoming expansions, cosmetics, and even a lottery system in some games.  Therefore, I am staying far far away from mmorpg's.  They are now in my past.   STAR EARNED TODAY + 1  Have a great day/night, GQ! Blessings, ~ Torch

Wed 11.13 No mobile games - 204 days No compulsive social media use: 42 days No compulsive research: 42 days No passive screentime before bed, first thing in the mornings, or during work: 45 days So at work we have this biannual period of manager -> employee feedback document that the employee has to fill out, and then the manager reviews and gives feedback. This is part of the "growth mindset" that the company I work for has, which is a good thing; this aligns with what I'm learning from Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This is in fact, what Habit 7 is about; "sharpening the saw." Well sticking in line with that theme, something that I asked my manager about is what the mission statement is for the team; not the big org in general, but our team specifically. Covey in the 7 Habits talks about how multiple levels of an organization can have their own mission statements. It's something I'm planning to ask about tomorrow again. Also, something that was helpful for that biannual document was my journal. Yeah! This journal! Along with another work-specific journal I keep in a separate notebook. The work journal was actually something I started doing in May this past year, as a response to how tough I find this document to do is, so that I would remember what to write on it. Spending time doing this personal journal is productive too, even in terms of work; because it is what helps me identify areas of growth and also action items for that. My manager even told me that me and one other coworker were the only ones who submitted the document by the deadline; the rest of the team did not! (To my knowledge, she manages about 20 herself, me included). Gave me a pat on the back there haha. Not that I am making fun of the others for not doing this; as I said, I do understand how stressful it can be to take the time for that big document. It can be very daunting to put it together, as you have to reflect on setbacks and your opportunities for growth as well, and it's hard to remember the past 6 months. Again, that is why I started work journaling in the first place, and it's what gave me the idea to come back to this forum and actually stick to my personal journaling too. ----- Things I will do to stay healthy Sleep around 8h - closer to 7h. Fell asleep at 10:30pm, but my middle kid woke up at 11:30pm (he's been doing this a lot lately). It was after he went to bed that I realized I didn't post my journal entry, went to do that, then went to bed at 12:10am shortly after doing my hygiene for the night. Then I woke up at 6am for an early morning of appointments and dropping my kids off. So yeah my estimate is around 7h total. That said, I still don't feel like I'm a zombie, something I would frequently feel when I was on my phone at night. So yeah, really the advice Cam has given on his articles is real for me; stop screens an hour before bedtime for better sleep quality. Brush teeth + floss - I'm glad I have this here, because otherwise I think I'd be forgetting the flossing part. I've been doing that consistently now for 5 days. I'm going to make it 6 tonight. Go for walks / Exercise - Did a 60min incline walk this morning at the gym, I went to work later as a result, but I needed that to be productive today and move forward with the authentication work. Shower + wash face - After working out, got home and did both Drink Water - While doing the incline walk, I finished my 1L water bottle. I'll keep it filled during work. Practice French - This morning while I was waiting for my wife, I did about 28min according to my screen tracker with Duo Lingo (I'm going to say it was more like 25min though given the ads). I will be doing more later today. Nutrition Breakfast: Dang, I skipped this today. Busy morning. I shouldn't do that. I did remember to take my ADHD meds at least though. Lunch: I had the rest of the leftover pizza, we had quite a lot. Now that's done. Am snacking on fruit atm. Dinner: My turn to make dinner tonight, I'll make an easy Mexican meal of quesadillas and beans Meditate + Deep Breaths - todo, but I'm going to be doing some later today after dinner; at work I got sucked into listening to our quarterly updates and those are about 1h long. Read a book - This morning, I also did some of the reformatting for the following 2 goals I didn't cover yesterday. And I put a deadline for the first goal. I'll keep doing more tonight. Talk to my partner - I'm sure many of you here note she does the dinners mostly, and that's because she's on mat-leave. Something to think about though, is that she will eventually go back to work, and we'll need to discuss how we plan dinners... maybe even considering making something ahead of time and then freezing it or refrigerating it. This is one key thing we talked about. Talk to my kids + play with them - My kids are home at the time of writing this. I'm responsible for dinner tonight, so I'll get chances to dine as a family once it's ready and find out how their day was. Journal - here it is 🙂 ------ 7 habits - proactivity test - day 26 Commitments yesterday: identify a "when" for goal 1 let's start from here, and let me quote the 1st goal: Let's put this at two years from now; roughly by September 2026. Promotion here meaning I go farther in my career, not just a title change. The "hows" written in the quoted post are my action items for it. Re-review my two other goals Honestly, I'm not really satisfied with this one. It's not specific enough. I will need another day to reflect on it. I think the idea is good, but there needs to be some actionable item here. Maybe I'll try going with the "How" or I'll just come up with something entirely different and better, more clear. As I said, I need to think and reflect on it. I bolded the part that I'm thinking is the action item; the result. To publish my own creative project. I will reformat this at a later post, but for now I'm going to also set a deadline for this goal; let's make it for 5 years from now. That's definitely very far off, but maybe I need to do the "how" process first with it to get a better idea. I thought 5 years gives me the time needed to really solidify the idea though, as well as talk with my wife about it too. Review my mission statement again     My mission is to be an honest, patient, loving and positive source of energy and support. I will strive to hold a balanced lifestyle in everything I do; my family, my job, my hobbies and creative pursuits, and my spirituality. I will drive a positive impact to the best of my ability, based on my values with everything I do. I will keep an open mind, seeking to understand before being understood. I will continue to strive for improvement, use the tools which I've been given and found successful, and always work on my personal growth. This is what I last wrote about my mission statement, and I have actually kept it in my notes on my phone. I review it frequently; it's on a widget in my home screen that I can flip to and read easily. This is actually what step 4 recommended too; "during the week, carry your rough draft with you and make notes, additions and deletions as needed each day" I'm personally pretty satisfied with that mission statement. I have it also on the About me section in this forum. Solidifying the mission statement is Step 5. So that is done 😄  Commitments tonight/tomorrow: Set up recurring events for step 6 of the Mission statement - recurring reviews and questions to ask myself Review my work commitments (tomorrow) calling this out here cuz there's a lot going on 😛 In a good, busy way -- Cheers everyone

Entry 13.11 Day 774: No Useless Videos Day 772: Sticking to Food schedule Day 375: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 78: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -13 pomodoros -Calls to settle my "debt" with a phone company -started shower routine an hour in advance and not 20 minutes late as usual 1 thing I could do  better -Perhaps I'd better write an email to the phone companies next time, since it took me an hour and a half or so

Entry 12.11 (Written on 13.11)  Day 773: No Useless Videos Day 771: Sticking to Food schedule Day 374: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 77: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -11 pomodoros -Set parking visit meeting -15 minutes in sun 1 thing I could do  better -Stick to pomodoro pause timeframes apart from going out to the sun