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At a loss - gamer girlfriend


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I am the girlfriend of a gamer and I’m at a loss. When I met my boyfriend a few years back I was unaware of his gaming addiction. It was a year ago when we were not living together that his gaming was introduced to me. I always thought that he just stayed up late and slept in but I never truly knew what he was doing. I never saw a problem because I was given quality time and he truly invested in our relationship. Fast forward, we moved in together and he was gaming while I worked 8-5 all week and sometimes even into the weekend. It was frustrating especially being the only one to financially support us. Now to make things more complicated we now have a newborn. He still is not financially supporting us and changed his hours for gaming to become a whole evening affair that lasts on average 5-7 hours every night. I’m exhausted of going to bed alone, he sleeps when we’re trying to spend time together and even when I ask him to watch a movie at night or come to bed for a change he refuses to and chooses to game. I love this man for everything he is minus the PC. I was supportive of his hobbies until we were put second. I’ve addressed my feelings repeatedly and he either gets defensive, laughs or we argue and it leads to one of us almost leaving. I don’t want to leave him but I feel alone and one sided. He won’t make a sacrifice even after expressing how I feel. Help? 

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What reasons does your bf give for his behavior? I would give him a month to get his act together, and to show he's committing himself to, at the least 1 hour a day, preferably 2 hours committed to applying for jobs. What does he do in the mornings now? Is he depressed? Has he had a lack of something in his childhood -- affection/discipline? There are several affordable resources for him to at least start his road to recovery. If you lead him to the water and he does not drink, as hard as it is to do, it is probably best to move on. You have to give him an ultimatum and light a fire under his ass, honestly. If he loves you and his child, he will get his shit together and put in work. If he still chooses to live the same as he has been living, he has somewhere down the road become consumed by a series of selfish choices, and he needs to sort through that himself before getting into a committed relationship again.

I wish you all the best.

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