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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened

The hopeless addict

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Hello forum, my name is Mitch, I am 25 years old, and I have been addicted to videogames for over 15 years.


I started gaming at a very young age, the first games I remember playing are Rayman and Pokemon Yellow. What started off rather innocently later turned into a nightmare of addiction. Even at this young age, I already used video games as a way to escape from reality. My father died when I was very young, and I was bullied from day one of school. As soon as I came home, I would watch television or play with my GameBoy (and PlayStation later on). I didn’t play outside very often, and I didn’t have many friends over.


Between 2004 and 2005 our house got connected to the internet. During this time, one of my elementary school classmates introduced me to the game RuneScape. Within a few weeks, I out-leveled every one of my classmates, despite being allowed only a limited amount of time on the computer every day. I was hooked. This game was fantastic. It allowed me to communicate with like-minded people, which allowed me to achieve a certain level of success with consistent growth. Nothing was more important to me than video games at this point, the addiction was rapidly becoming worse and worse. I didn’t care about going outside. I didn’t care for social interactions with my family or friends. I didn’t care for schoolwork anymore (I severely disliked school because bullying and homework aren’t exciting at all when you can play video games). I tried many different games during my early gaming years, such as MapleStory, Knight Online, WarRock, and Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory, but the one that stuck most with me during that time was RuneScape. I managed to pass elementary school, but my teachers had a lot of doubt about my motivation to work. Then came high school.


High school was horrible for me. Classes bored me more than ever, and the bullying turned physical. Gaming wasn’t enough of an escape from reality anymore, and I took up the habit of masturbating my problems away. I stopped caring about personal hygiene. I stopped caring about the time limits I was given on the computer (I would often game at night when everyone was sleeping), and the bullying got worse and worse. I was also allowed to spend my allowance on whatever I wanted during high school, so I bought RuneScape membership (which unlocks a ton more addictive content) and in-game currency for a game called Puzzle Pirates, which I really got addicted to. A few hundred euros poorer and a ban on Puzzle Pirates later left me more depressed than ever before. I miraculously survived high school and managed to achieve a decent enough GPA that allowed me into college.


College wasn’t all too bad. The bullying stopped, for the most part, save a few select idiots. I decided with all my video game brilliance to study application development in college, as almost every video game addict seems to do. I liked it, but the curriculum wasn’t the best, so I wasted a lot of time playing video games during class. The endless barrage of bullying stopped but I still continioud playing games and masturbating compulsivly. During my college years, I also started playing a game that surpassed the levels of addiction RuneScape gave me; osu!. osu! is a relatively simple game, you click on circles on the beat of the music. Flashy colors, near-limitless skill-cap gameplay, scantily clad anime girls (yeah, that’s how bad the masturbation got), and addictive music really wrecked my brain. I started the game in 2011 and got really good after a few years of playing. I am nowhere near as good now, but I still play it daily for more than a few hours. I’m not sure how, but I did manage to graduate from college with decent grades. I pursued a bachelor’s degree in computer science after college, which I recently graduated from. I am now a full-time IT employee at a local company, but this isn’t an end good all good story (yet). At this point, I am feel like an anxious, mentally, and physically underdeveloped person with a ton of addictive personality issues that seem to torment my every day being. I still am addicted to RuneScape (Oldschool), osu!, and masturbation, and I want it to stop.


As of today (August 12th), I am making an active effort into quitting video games and stopping my compulsive masturbation habits. There’s a lot I have to work on, and a lot that I have to do, such as getting rid of my gaming systems, and finding something to do with the hours I usually play video games. I like reading and running (barefoot), but don’t have many other hobbies or social interaction outside of these activities.

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Strong story. Very strong of you to be so honest. Your story is safe here.

About that compulsiveness - I too have a compulsive habit. Not about masturbation but that doesn't matter.
The cause is always pushing away / running away of very strong feelings. The thing that numbs it - for you masturbation, for others something else - is just a symptom of the pain.
Take on the pain and the symptom disappears.

You will succeed. You will. 

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