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Conner Close

Hi everyone

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My name is Conner, and video games have been part of my life for as far back as I can remember. They started becoming really prevalent when I was around 10 years old when we moved out of the neighborhood I had grown up in, away from all my friends. Gaming was the only way I found to entertain myself as there were no kids on my new street to make friends with. It’s become second-nature, an escape from life.

Most recently, it’s been a vice to deny that my mom was dying of stage 4 breast cancer, and an escape from dealing with the loss now that she’s gone. She passed in early December. The amount of time and thought I spend on video games is getting in the way of my relationship with my girlfriend now, not to mention getting in the way of getting out of the house of my own volition.

Now, gaming is a fun activity I like to do with friends, but the way it stands now is too much. I want to replace much of the time I normally spend gaming with better habits, though I don’t want to completely remove video games entirely, which may sound crazy I guess. I just want to get to a point where I can play in moderation with friends sometimes, and for now that means not playing at all (It’s been a week and a half or so) for the time being to develop those good habits. Wish me luck I guess, especially since I’m gonna be inside the house for the foreseeable future. Thanks COVID-19.

Sorry for the book, lmao.

Edited by Conner Close

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I'm sorry to hear about your mother. 

If you want to play in moderation (this is extremely hard to achieve) I'd propose the following; 

Complete the 90-day detox and then re-evaluate. In my opinion, you should organise yourself before starting the 90-day detox for example, uninstalling games, buying a calendar to keep track of your progress, writing a comprehensive set of rules that you must abide by at all times and if broken the penalty is you must restart the 90-day detox; to ensure that you disconnect yourself from any entity that might corrupt or taint your 90-day detox process. For example, installing Block Site and listing Twitch under it. Once these things have been completed and you've got yourself in order, then start the 90-day detox. If you start your 90-day detox and find yourself a week later watching YouTube videos of your most favourite streamers playing the games you love, this is no (in my opinion) longer a 90-day detox. You have broken one of your rules and must start again. This sounds a little strict but if you treat yourself during the 90-day detox process with compassion and refrain from berating yourself if you relapse (in my case this would mean watching a YouTube video of your favourite game), you will achieve what you aspire to achieve, to acquire an objective perspective of your gaming habits and the ability to determine how and whether you want/could play in moderation.

Also to mention, you coming to this forum and posting might enlighten you as to whether you'd truly like to continue playing games, even in moderation. After all, the forum is called 'Game Quitters'.  

But also, to contradict myself slightly, take it slowly. Don't hate on yourself too hard for playing games, especially now. I'm currently 45 days into my fourth fucking detox and I'm struggling with urges like never before. Maybe in collusion with my idea above about completing the planning of a 90-day detox before you start it, you could make a plan during self-isolation but not stop yourself gaming? So providing yourself with plenty of time to prepare and also showing understanding that to pursue a 90-day detox during COVID-19 would be seriously hard. If there was ever a very minor, minuscule justification for gaming, it would be during the self-isolation period of pandemics. I don't know if I fully agree with that, maybe that's my own mind trying to rationalise around gaming. I think so. Anyway, hope this helped in any way!  

Edited by LordFederickRamsay

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