High functioning gaming addict

[Jaredy34]

Hey everyone, my name is Jared and I am new here to the game quitters forum, although i have been lurking around the stopgaming subreddit and watching game quitters videos for a few years now, I think i'm finally ready to move on from gaming.

I would first like to start off and say, that i am fairly successful in my personal life but I am starting to recognize more and more that gaming has been my way of escaping and coping with difficult problems in my life. I was fortunate enough to be able to go to college and have it paid for by my parents. Even though i skipped class repeatedly, and had to retake classes, i somehow managed to get through and graduate with an information systems/computer science degree. I now work for a fortune 500 company as a software engineer and make a good living writing software for banking applications.

Flash back to when I was a kid, I grew up playing a lot of games with my brother. I never had any problems with gaming until online gaming became popular. I remember in middle school staying up late to play runescape instead of doing homework. Although I was lucky because I had just transferred from a private elementary school which was a year advanced of the middle school so classes were super easy and i could procrastinate until the last minute and get things done. This wasn't a big problem during middle school but I started to notice the problems when I got into high school and had poor study skills because I never had to study and I just played games. Throughout highschool I played more and more games and my grades continued to suffer. I even remember going through breakups and retreating into games to cover up the emotions i was feeling and to escape. During highschool i developed strong friendships (friends that I have to this day) and we bonded through the game world of warcraft. I was completely addicted to this game. Fast forward to college and I noticed myself in the same situation as highschool. Unprepared for the workload, with poor study habits, bad influences, & gaming to fall back on when things got tough. My first year I think i failed 3 classes due to partying, gaming, and anything but doing what i should have been doing. These habits continued to repeat themselves throughout my 5 1/2 years in college albeit less and less over time. I stopped partying as much but I found myself doing as little as possible to get a passing grade so I could play LoL or WoW. My grades were crap, but I still managed to somehow graduate with a 2.9 gpa.

Along the way I got lucky and got a few internships which helped me secure the job I have now, but one thing still remained. I would prioritize gaming over everything else in going on in my life. This started to lead to fading friendships, poor relationships, and depression. On the outside I had a great job and making great money, but every other aspect of my life was crap because I was spending all of my other time gaming. I was isolating myself and getting wrapped up in gaming/watching youtube/streaming.

Fast forward 4 years to me today. I am 27 andI have a better balance on my life but I still escape to gaming when things get tough. For example, I have taken days off to retreat into Lol or WoW, when things got tough at work. I also binged WoW classic when it came out a few months back and said I was "working from home". I noticed these problems and deleted my account and sold my gaming rig. The problem recent is that I got nostalgia and I built a new gaming rig and started gaming again. I have a speech/presentation coming up soon and I have noticed myself retreating into the game when things are starting to get difficult. 

I want to be done with games once and for all. For me, my relationships, and so i can create a life that has more meaning and fulfillment. I am just afraid to let go of something that has been a big part of me and my friendships for so many years. This is why I am here. Thanks for reading this long post, I know it has been all over the place.