My Problem with School

[thb23]

Here is a synopsis of my frustration:

During my first two semesters of college, during which I was addicted to gaming, I nearly aced all my classes. I think this had to do with two incentives, which were, a) Getting a good GPA and b) gaming, since gaming was pretty much my life and only social circle. However, nowadays I struggle to find any motivation and my grades have suffered. I think this happened because the gaming incentive, which existed for years, suddenly went away. Since gaming took away my social circle and freed up a bunch of time (it was the only activity I focused on besides studying), I felt empty.

Long story short, I failed one course each of the last two semesters, in addition to one last summer. It's simply frustrating to think that I was doing better in school while gaming. BS!!

I was properly addicted. Before college, I'd played 6+ hours a day, often through the night if I had nothing "important" to do the next morning. I toned it down in college for the sake of sleep and homework, but still played at least 2 hours a day, in order to avoid the emotional chaos that I knew would accompany quitting. It was difficult to pry myself away from the keyboard, and I would think about games all day.

I quit cold turkey in January. I've been thinking about games less, but the motivation still isn't here.

I know that finding new activities and exercise is a must, which are both things I've been working at, but isn't it just paradoxical that I did better in school when I was addicted?

Edit: I can't get over the fact that I've failed courses... which is a bad thing, right? I feel crappy because my selection of transfer schools (I really want to transfer to a better school) decreases as my GPA tumbles.

Edited June 15, 2017 by thb23