Im a FOOL

[Tate]

Greetings,

Allow me to introduce myself as Tate, a dedicated high school student. Over the span of five years, my immersion in video gaming unfortunately took a toll on my academic performance. Initially positioned in set one, I later found myself in set four due to my tendencies toward excessive gaming. This shift poses a significant hurdle, as set four occupies a pivotal space between the higher and foundation tiers, directly impacting my pursuit of a career that necessitates a minimum grade 7 in Mathematics A-Level. In this educational framework, the foundation tier is Maximised to  a grade 5 , even if perfection is achieved, while the higher tier opens doors to grades up to  9.

In contrast to my personal accomplishments, my brother consistently shines in every facet. Over the years, I've grappled with numerous attempts to liberate myself from  gaming addiction. The turning point came in April 2021 when I successfully managed to break free. During that period, an overwhelming sense of triumph enveloped me, and my Life noticeably got better as I focused on "Leveling myself up".  I made the foolish mistake whilst bored one day to try out games again, because I wouldnt get addicted". famous last words, You will always default to what is easiest its only normal for humans, which is why we admire those who pick the hard path. 

I didnt want to change is when i knew i had to. As soon as I didnt care i knew deep in my heart that it was dangerous. If you dont want to change, no one can help you.

My journey to this juncture was spurred by the mistaken notion that I'd remain impervious.  Never compromise on habits even micro because you will start to justify the Bad ones... we all know how that goes....

This summer I decided to spend it productively but as soon as a variable appeared i defaulted to games to pass the time , this is how i wasted 4.5 / 5 weeks I was graced with... 

If i have learnt anything it is that you need to be purposeful when doing things , why do you want to load up youtube to do what? it will help you cut down on what is futile.

I am fully aware that upon revisiting these words, I will find myself in a better Position.  My thoughts, under my control, shall guide me. There's no room for self-victimization, No time for it . I extend my gratitude to you for lending your ear to me 

With sincere regards,
Tate

I aplogolise for my writing, it looks more like notes than a, i dont even know what you call it , i cant think , ive been going to sleep late , i havent been eating right , i feel no remorse which terrifies me to the core , ive become pessimistic , I really dont want to be a Gamer. 
 

Edited August 30, 2023 by Tate

[WishINever]

School must be awful in your country. Are you trying to go into law or STEM? Either way most of this shit won't matter in a few years but it's good that you start developing better habits now. The more you reinforce gaming and other bad habits the harder it will be to walk away later on down the line. Progress isn't linear. Your relapses will remind you to stay the course and be even stronger next time so long as you don't give up.