Ridingsplosh

Thanks for the replies guys! I haven't spent any time on time-wasting websites, and I really felt the absence of them even after just a few hours. I just felt extreme boredom, and was a bit grumpy too. My appetite was quite low yesterday and barely ate, but what I cooked was healthy (a new habit I've been changing) and vegan. In the evening instead of spending 3-4 hours on the usual 2 tabs of youtube and discord, I downloaded a couple of albums to listen but became bored quite quickly. I couldn't get my mind to start on anything useful because I was restless and my mind was wandering all the time. I didn't even have the motivation to read or meditate. I will try to do those habits this evening, because I think I am too bored by anything else, and I am not allowing to surf the net as usual. Sleep was a bit shitty too. I was aiming to go to bed at no later than 1am, but did it later as I had too much energy and I think I didn't even hear my alarm this morning because I was sleeping deeply and dreaming vividly. What I want to do to fix this is wake up no matter what, even if I have a bad sleep or am feeling tired. The important thing is to establish a healthy habit of waking up at the same time. Had a somewhat good piano practice. My breaks were a bit too long, but at the end I think I was quite productive as I feel completely drained from this now and can't continue. I will use the evening hours to look for a job and fix up some things on my to-do list, as well as write down some long-term goals

So, I haven't posted here since January. I relapsed only once, and that was last week. I don't remember gaming since then and I never counted my streak, so I assume it's been about 5 months! I intended to game for no more than 1 hour a few days ago, but that escalated to a lot more. This is not the fist time I learned that I cannot moderate gaming, so I will avoid this in the future. I am also not allowing myself to access any time-wasting websites like youtube, as well as the discord. I have been spending 20 hours per week avarage on those sites. I am aiming to do this for at least one week, but I think I will do it for longer - maybe a month. It's just been many months since I haven't accessed sites like youtube, and I am too paranoid that it would be extremely hard. Most likely I will have withdrawal symptoms and feel extreme boredom. I need to listen to music (related to school) so I will use Spotify, instead of youtube. I can also go to school instead and use the computers if there is something important. I want to start a few new small habits, which would really help fill up all my idle time. I will start with reading 10 pages of a book a day;10 minutes of meditation; about 3 hours daily looking for a job; 4 hours of piano practice. I am not sure what to do with the rest of the time, so I will spend the time with a pen and paper brainstorming some goals I would want to do! I aim to write here as a daily habit and I think it would help me build better awareness. I will probably just keep each entry concise.

I've read that a long time ago, but will check it out again. But did you implement it? Hehe, nope. I only did reading and meditation though. Kind of sad that I stopped doing these habits. They helped so much to fill my idle time, and I remember that it translated to all other activities. I definitely need more positive thinking as well. I find myself many times seeing the negative in most situations and in a way trying to protect myself from the negatives. I think by being more positive I might be able to start seeing more opportunities in each situation, which will help me improve myself more. I think Hal Elrod's suggestion for affirmations will help greatly. I remember long time ago reading Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. I might remember it wrongly since it was a long time ago, but I think he said that people who think positively are further in their careers? This is because they see the opportunities in each situation, rather than the consequences so much. Btw, sorry for my english. I am a bit in a hurry writing this. Day 32 It has been hard to be consistent with writing in my journal. I had a very busy week, and I realized next year will be more financially difficult for me because my school's fees will be a lot higher. I am looking to start working very soon to bring some money. I am thinking of combining part-time work with full-time college. Hopefully this will work out. I haven't been gaming at all, but I watched some speedruns of singleplayer games on youtube. I felt a bit triggered and I had some urges to start gaming again. Feeling nostalgic sometimes to old single-player games, like Htiman, Star Wars, Freedom Fighters. I am doing Nofap detox, which includes noporn and nofap. It has been quite hard, and I could only manage to avoid porn so far, with fapping only done about once a week. Longer than that it just takes a lot of willpower and energy for me to avoid completely I've been quite productive though, more than I have ever been. Some days it is too hard to wake up on time without snoozing, unless I have class or an appointment earlier in the morning. I haven't been eating healthy much as well. Too many sandwiches, the ham and cheese kinds. Hard to find the discipline to cook for myself, even though I already have a list of recipes that I want to try.

I've read that a long time ago, but will check it out again. Day 23 I kinda struggled with nofap, but I've been avoiding successfully porn so this actually still counts as progress. Still going without any gaming, and I am starting to miss it sometimes and getting nostalgic feelings. Indeed, the biggest struggle is the time lost in the mornings, as well as the evening. For the evening, I am so exhausted from the day that it is really hard to do any work, or get a new hobby for example. Instead I go online being idle usually. Haven't been doing well with my eating since Monday. Struggling to find the motivation to cook regularly. I want to increase my intake of vegetables as I noticed it gave me energy as well as eating more natural foods. I made a list of recipes a week ago, but have been unable to follow up.

Day 19 Yesterday wasn't that good. Kind of fell a bit off the wagon with all my habits. I did some meditation. Today I've been eating really bad, and I feel like it had an impact on me. Still, I didn't had any depression and I was fairly productive. Much more productive anyway than my gaming days. Sometimes I get gaming urges I tend to waste my time mostly in the morning and evenings with internet time-wasting. That ends up being too much and I am sure I can do so much work at those times. I have some things on my to-do list and that makes me procrastinate. Nofap is getting extremely hard too, and I am not sure I will last too long. Struggling to wake-up on time and earlier at the moment. Trying to decide what time I want to do it, and it has been so random. Staying up late randomly on the internet and then waking up late and being lazy in the morning. I really want to change this. As inspired by Marie Kondo's book, I am working on tidying up my whole room, as well as phone and laptop. It's a bit of a long process, but I am making progress.

Day 17 I haven't been involved much in my journal or the forums as it hasn't been on my mind. I am planning to make longer posts soon. It would be really helpful to reflect more in detail about my journey. 2 days ago I was extremely depressed. I don't know the reason though. It is really hard to know if the reason for it was withdrawals from porn and video games, or it is just a personal issue. I think the depression might be a withdrawal symptom, as it was never that strong in the past. Also, I am not having any serious persona problems in my life and it used to be much harder in the past. Yet, at the moment I felt more depressed than ever 2 days ago. Therefore, for now I can temporarily conclude that my bad depression is just a withdrawal symptom. I haven't gone 17 days for quite a while. The changes are a bit subtle and hard to describe. I guess if I am not particularly depressed, I just get a lot more work done. If I have a plan, I procrastinate a lot less than I used to. Also I am just so much more effective with my studying. I don't take a long break for each 15 minutes of work like I used to. Of course one of the benefits is that I have a lot more time to work on myself, I feel different as well. Less stressed, less depressed, attention span is longer. I tend to waste less time on the internet than I used to. Perhaps it would be useful to write in my journal exactly how much time I've wasted. I am noticing that my mindset is changing as well. I think quitting games helps me to make better decisions as my mind is a lot clearer. Sorry if I am not describing it properly, but I am more mindful of my time, acting more from a rational mindset rather than addiction-based impulsiveness. My productivity has gone up. I think I don't get distracted so often and that is a huge obstacle I've been trying to overcome. I am struggling a bit with adding reading to my habits, and also falling down with meditation. Perhaps I should try doing them in the morning, instead of before falling asleep? I've been cooking a lot more healthy last week than I've done in the past. Still not perfect, but I've improved a lot with how I use my time.

Day 13 Still going strong brehs! I have been on nofap and without gaming until now. I feel different. In the past I used to get depressed a lot more often than now. Perhaps it has to do with the dopamine hits of both addictions? I just seem more productive with everything, as well as more relaxed and less lethargic. I have an easier time getting up in the morning than I used to. Still making attempts to build the reading habit. I haven't been doing it every day, but it gets easier now! I am not sure if that is correlated with stopping gaming or fapping, but it's a real difference. I am also trying to apply the principles from the book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying: A Simple, Effective Way to Banish Clutter Forever by Marie Condo I've been organizing my hugely messed up room. Not completed with that, but getting closer

Day 8 Just checking in. Had been preparing stuff and flying to London. That's where I am during term-time in college. I reached my first week without gaming and nofap. It has been a while since I reached this point. I am quite tired and sleepy as I just arrived from my flight. I will go into more detail soon, outlining the differences I noticed from both addictions. I do feel different at the moment in a more positive way.

Agreed! That looks intense! I will try it. No excuse not to do it! Day 6 Today I felt good again. I didn't feel any withdrawals or urges I think! I was a lot more productive and it was easier than before to remain this way. Not sure why I wake up so tired and cranky, but anything else is fine now. I can feel the difference between gaming and fapping daily and now. In the past I used to be really tired and depressed all the time and trying to escape, as well as unable to be discipline the tiny bit. Now it is easier to set my mind to start working on my activities and I am a lot more disciplined.

Day 5 Thank you guys for the replies and support! Today was really hard, mainly due to nofap. I've been having really bad urges. As a result, I feel more lethargic, depressed, and distracted. I had a few flashbacks for gaming, but it wasn't a problem at all to avoid. Last night those urges made it impossible for me to focus on studying/reading/meditation. I went to bed too late(at 3am) and felt tired in the morning. Gaming urges happen sometimes as well, mainly when I get bored. I remember last time I abstained, I got the withdrawals around day 5 in. I may consider going on an exercise program. I have a pair of running shoes. Only form of exercise I've done to this point is walking, and would helpful to have something more intense. I've also been thinking to start cooking more often and avoiding processed foods. Always struggled with the fact how cooking takes time each day but I really need to do it to save money and to benefit my health!

Day 4 I am still going strong. Yesterday I've decided to take a break before new year, so I didn't do anything productive. I had a lot of urges at one point after I had a few drinks in the evening, but they disappeared quickly. Today was also a lot easier, and I didn't feel any depression or anxiety. DId more consistent work as well. Mentally I feel more energetic. Gaming and fapping usually makes me tired and dead and I can feel the difference more clearly now as I completely stopped them for the past few day. Hopefully I can do some more work and reading this evening. Even something small like reading 2 pages will count since I haven't built up the habit yet.

Exactly what I was thinking! Since I saw the others replied, I have a lot stronger willpower knowing that I will have to give an explanation here after I relapse. Stopping gaming and nofap for 90 days are the highest priority. Cutting out the internet right now seems too big of a stretch, and I might save it for later. I am doing my best to fill my time with offline activities though and I am not wasting my time excessively online.

Day 2 Thank you brehs for replying ! I think I was starting to lose willpower in the evening hours, close to bedtime. I didn't relapse though, just the urges were the strongest then. I think journaling is extremely helpful. I already feel the difference as I am wasting less time on the computer. When the urges arise, I kind of get reminded about the fact that I am committed to this and journaling helps me remember and remind me about this. It is already too late today, and I forgot to do my reading habit completely. I think I will try it for a few minutes now as I am about to sleep just to continue the habit. I was still browsing the internet randomly unplanned, but it was more for informational purposes. It was very hard to concentrate on studying today, but nevertheless I was a lot more productive than previous days in the past week as far as I remember as I didn't interrupt myself with my laptop now. I want to come up with some specific rules of limiting my time spent on the internet as well as forming new habits/activities. I will post about it soon, perhaps in the next post or 2. Just to clarify, I want to do 90 days without gaming as well as 90 days nofap and noporn as a first step. After that I will evaluate if I want to continue with nofap. It is hard to find a reason to continue with gaming after detox and I will probably eliminate this completely even after detox, but I will think about this after I reach 90 days! For cutting internet usage, I might do some mini-challenges like 24 hours of no-internet, since quitting all these addiction at once seems unrealistic for my willpower.

Thanks mate! I hope I post here regularly, perhaps daily. I am reading Salinger - The Catcher in the Rye hard to sustain that reading habit and I am slow lol

What's up brahs! Starting my first journal here. I am going to make this a bit concise, and I might edit it another day to expand further. I've been playing computer games since I was young - I would say about 8 years of age. I didn't focus on any particular game for too long and I got a lot of enjoyment from single-player games. I also wasted many hours on Counter-Strike 1.6 and World of Warcraft. I am not one of those people that play games 12 hours a day, but still a significant part of my daily life is spent on games. On avarage this was probably 4 hours a day, but I think it escalated to a point where I couldn't focus on studying as a student, because I would interrupt each 15 minutes of study with 1 hour of gaming. I really do hope to fill this time with some activities like reading books, or maybe even a part-time job. I am 22 years old and I've only read a few books(I didn't apply myself so well in school). I am studying in college right now and I am doing pretty well. However I don't want to spend every day entirely on studying and gaming, and I want to use the rest of the time with exploring new ways of self-improvement. My goal is also to accomplish 90 days of no porn and masturbation, and that seems much harder than other addictions. Browsing the internet is yet another huge time-sink that I am trying to abolish. At the moment I keep relapsing with all of these and I can't even go for 1 week. I think writing here will help me clarify my thinking and be more conscious about the importance of this journey. As an inspiration from other forum posters here I might write about 3 things I am grateful for each day! Here we go Day 1 Today was one of the good days, didn't waste a few hours in the morning on youtube or games like I usually do. Was outside a lot shopping for clothes. Then did some piano practise and hopefully now I can read. Spent significantly less time on the internet.