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Zeeko

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Everything posted by Zeeko

  1. Hey guys Thanks for the welcome back and great advice! Day 1# So here we go again... Its starting off heavy because I dont have that time filler anymore. Which is a good thing i know but now I have to find an alternative. So I had alot of errands today which was good, but I am going to try and focus on some constructive skills, namely increasing my productivity for my upcoming job. Also have to start making my arrangements for my move to Sydney, so theres certainly plenty to do. I can do this. I really can. Heres to a successful detox. Cheers fellas
  2. Howdy fellas Here is my third attempt at the 90 day detox. I realise that the most important factor for this to work is consistency, rather than quality. In other words, its better to have a shitty entry to ensure you get one in every day rather than miss two days because you couldnt think of something clever or informative into your journal. I suppose it misses the point of the journal in the first place. Had work today so not a big issue. Been youtubin' rather than playing games but going to aim for audiobooks as an alternative to reading because of how tired I get. Lets hope the third time is the charm! Cheers all
  3. Zeeko

    Relapse :(

    Cheers Mettermrck! I hope so!
  4. Zeeko

    Relapse :(

    Thank you Mhyrion and you're right, a new chapter awaits!
  5. Zeeko

    Relapse :(

    Hello all. I have attempted the 90 day detox twice now and have relapsed twice now. The second try was worse than the first. Its far more upsetting for me when I did this in the face of such support I received at the time... I realize that there were two main reasons why I relapsed. I couldn't find other things to fill in the huge gaping hole gaming fulfilled for me. It mainly served as a social instrument and a time filler. I tried alternatives, for example I'd want to read a book but feel discouraged that I was tired and didn't want to invest enough mental effort when it was late afternoon. I'd want to see friends but I don't have too many and I live far away to conveniently meet people. Everything constructive felt like it required that extra mile while gaming was at the tip of my finger. But things have changed. I have been offered a job in Sydney which requires me to move away from my family and live independently. Its both an exciting and daunting prospect. Suffice to say, I can't go the way I've been going anymore. It simply isn't an option if I want success. I'm terrible with organisation and I reading a book to improve that (forcing the mental effort). But I feel the withdrawals immediately, clawing at my mind to just let go. Hopefully the third time is the charm. I know i can do this and will do my best! Thanks all.
  6. Day 10: Today was great, I did some study in the later morning then went to the gym in the afternoon. Spent the evening with my family and overall today was fulfilling. Need a few more of these and then can start thinking about other things I can do
  7. Day 9: Had a good day in terms of gaming today, no gaming and I spent the majority of the day hanging out with a couple of friends of mine. I got a bit depressed because i ate something with gluten (I am a coeliac) and that tends to encourage general laziness. I realise I have had few positive things to note as of yet, but I think slowly but surely, I am coming together.
  8. Really good to see some positive results coming out of your gaming detox man, its inspiring! Keep it up man, I will be following your progress as I go through my detox as well
  9. Going very well man, keep at it!
  10. Day 7 & 8: going strong, I went to a conference yesterday on the legal history of Australia which I personally find very interesting. I am slowly discovering the needs that I need to fill up in place of video games and how to fulfill those needs. I am going well all in all. But as said it is one day at a time and that can change drastically, which I discovered on my previous try. Most importantly, and I suppose I should've realised this, is that I have a self-ingrained habit or a fear of doing things that potentially involve interacting with strangers. I realise that I always convince myself that I am going to end up despising every social event I go to. Then because I convince myself before I go, I end up caryying it out when I actually go. So I broke through this habit yesterday and I made a decent friend during an afternoon break. He was a complete stranger but we got on well and it was because I deliberately made the effort to try and talk to him. I CAN socialise, for years I believed I couldnt. Heres to more in the future
  11. Day 6: Similar to yesterday, getting into a routine now. I activate self-control at the beginning of the day and then start on my daily tasks for the day, its pretty rough when there is literally not much to do. So I am making up stuff to do. I went to the gym later morning but will have to start doing that earlier morning because I usually end up pretty exhausted afterwards. Doing good though in my opinion and I swear i didnt realise how ingrained these habits were. Years worth is hard to undo so I am trying my best.
  12. Day 5: Spent the day studying today. Not for any particular subject but for writing because I want to improve my skills. I downloaded Self-control to block youtube and facebook and it works really well and even stops those habitual surfs when I dont even mean it. I feel that alot of the youtube starts unintentionally, like I just go to the website without really thinking about it. Because now that I cant with selfcontrol, I just immediately go back to what I was doing before. I do find it gets difficult at around 6:00pm just before dinner because that it usually the time I tend to relax. Still, game free and seem to be improving with the youtubing.
  13. Day 4: Went to the gym with my friend today and also went for an interview for some work experience so it was a pretty fulfilled day. Feel so exhausted when I come back from the gym so its hard to push back against the temptation to watch youtube videos. Its almost like binging because you feel your mind numbed while you are doing it. Going okay though, havent played games, still feels difficult but I am hanging in there. Will check out meet ups :))
  14. Day 3: The start is incredibly difficult. In a way one of the biggest issues for me at the moment is the lack of a social circle to satisfy that particular need. I will have to look into other things but it always feels like there isn't enough time or there is something stopping me. I know this is not the difficult part so I am bracing myself for it. I am thinking about downloading programmes that can block other websites like youtube. When I want to youtube but I stop myself, i get this empty tight feeling, I suppose that is the strength of deeply ingrained habits. I am chugging on and will continue to do so
  15. Thank you for the welcome back Cam, always appreciated Day 2: Firstly I must apoloigise for the deeply melancholic post yesterday, strong feelings of disappointment were attached. I have uninstalled everything again and working up the nerve to permanently delete (above from uninstalling) the steam account. I remember why I am doing this though, because I listened to a Sam Harris podcast about the cosmos. All this knowledge I have missed out on, confining myself to the confines of a computer screen. I also went to the gym today and its a great outlet for my frustration and its good to get out of the house. Will keep you all updated tomorrow, it feels good to be back and trying again.
  16. Dear fellow travelers, I failed. I failed rather miserably. I got back from Mexico after one of the most bitter experiences of my life. So much preparation which ended in failure. We competed in this competition and we were clearly the better teams but to put it simply we got screwed over by politics. In response, I lost my willpower. I relapsed to games. I made a new steam account, bought overwatch and been playing games hard. I just suddenly realised it when my father pretty much indirectly confronted me about it. He told me my potential was going to be wasted at this rate. Quite frankly he is right. The worst fate in my opinion is to do the wrong thing while fully aware of all the right advice as to why you should not be doing it. So first attempt for my detox ended in failure. I realize something. I want to study and do well but there are things which must be done before I can do it. Its not a simple matter of just sitting down and studying all day every day. You have needs which must be fulfilled. People, fun and purpose. I was not satisfying my other needs, instead I like so many others relied so hard on games as a crutch. A quick fix. My brain feels numb while I play. I hate this feeling of dis empowerment and hopelessness and I feel like a good for nothing. Youtube and games proved too hardwired to my habits that I felt so strained while not doing them. This needs to change! I need to try my detox again, and I need to succeed if I am going to succeed in life. I am so sorry for those I let down, and myself for letting myself down. But I realise its not the start of the detox thats difficult for me, its down the track it gets hard. Also I absolutely need to find other outlets. I am on holidays now and will try my best... SO! Here is to attempt #2.
  17. Days 15 & 16 - hey guys, I am going crazy with preparing for my Mexico trip that I am starting in a couple of days! I am so excited to see a little bit more of the world without the use of a screen. I almost relapsed with creating another steam account yesterday because of the huge amount of stress i've been going through to keep myself on top of things but I barely managed to stave myself off. Once this Mexico trip is finished i'll be able to start focusing on other less stressful things that will help. Again sorry for the lack of consistency, that will improve too once Mexico lays behind me!
  18. Day 14 - Well well, two weeks without gaming. In one sense its really a great achievement for me while at the same time... its minute in comparison to what I am aiming for. It changes perspective and really makes one think again about their life without any games in it... Thank you to everyone who has given me encouragement thus far and given lots of great suggestions! I am very grateful and its all had a positive impact in my experience. Youtube is difficult to control but I am getting better and thats what matters. Heres to keeping on the road forward
  19. Day 13 - Hey guys the meditation seems to be working rather well as short breaks. Its a good way to relax before I start doing proper physical exercise. Not much to report as I have been going rather well and Mexico is around the corner next friday for me . Thank you for all the advice thus far I am sure to keep going as this detox, despite being in the middle of alot of stuff, is giving such a huge benefit.
  20. Day 12 - Going well and trying to maintain efficiency, am going to try and do what WorkinProgress suggested with audio books and mediation and see if that helps with keep my focus levels up between work sessions. Just over week until I go to Mexico so this will be the most busiest part and I hope I can keep myself together.
  21. Hey guys days 10 & 11, I have been neglecting keeping a consistent journal, so I will start working on being more consistent with it. I still havent played games which is good. The difficulty is though that I am having difficulty finding ways to relax my brain. Theres so much going on at the moment with my law degree and it feels like every minute is needed. The medicine I am taking prevents me from doing any intense physical work outs and I have been doing the walks. But it doesnt quite feel like its enough. I still have tension in my temples that I usually get from too much mental exertion. Theres this balance of being efficient but also trying to relax and keep your mental energy flowing. I still havent managed to acquire that balance. I need to find some physical outlet but I honestly dont know what to do yet. I know there have been suggestions but time... bah! I need to get off this damn chair before I degrade into nothing with backproblems ahahaha It does show however how much I relied on games and youtube to mentally numb myself. But this was not healthy and didnt truly relax me. Cheers guys
  22. Hey guys day 9, Things are going well and I have not played any games! But I have made the decision for myself to block youtube... because that is still taking up my time and is a source of procrastination for me. So the real test is going to start now and I'll see how I go ...
  23. Howdy fellas, Days 7 & 8 Sorry for the delay in the update, law studies render me exhausted for the evenings and I barely get enough time for dinner and to relax. I am please to say that I have not played any games. More importantly however, I'd like to congratulate Cam for succeeding in this efforts to accumulate enough money for the water well! Glad I was able to contribute my small part! I will be going to Guadalajara for a competition on behalf of my university so its really been tough to prepare for while keeping on top of everything else. I am on the verge of blocking youtube on my laptop and computer simply because its still a bit of an issue. Not that its ruining my detox, but the quality of the detox is reduced for me personally when I am simply watching guys playing games, even if I am tired. Thats the main limitiation at the moment. While I get up early and get a good amount of work done, I am usually so tired that trying to do something else that takes mental effort (no matter how small) as others here have noted is too much. The ones who said I need a physical mindless activity are spot on and I think later arvo yoga would be perfect before I start hitting the gym. Heres to keeping on! P.S Again, congratulations to Cam!
  24. Day 7 - Going pretty smoothly Hey fellas, going pretty well at the moment - I have been consistently getting up earlier which continues to help significantly to setting my focus for the day. Yesterday was good, unfortunately I was exhausted from studies in the late afternoon and ended up watching a few youtube videos. I admit its not too bad in the grand scheme of things but I am noticing the feeling I get when I watch them and going to start reading some fiction books as an alternative - hopefully that goes well. I must say, the feeling of satisfaction I get when one of my mates tells me he spent the day/evening playing games while I did something more constructive (hopefully) is palpable. I am noticing development in my approach to learning which is becoming more thorough and indepth. I dont know if this is purely from giving up games but it is sure as hell a big contribution. It keeps me busy and helps me to avoid gaming news and updates which do bring some feelings of withdrawal. Starting tomorrow I will start looking into some more physical activities I can undertake that will further assist in my overall health and productivity. Later this month I will be going to Mexico for a few days for a debating competition and have been preparing for that and feeling excited. So will keep going! Thank you to everyone for the encouragement thus far as always and heres to keeping on the straight path!
  25. Hey guys day 6! Due to recovery from my previous illness I havent able to to undertake strenuous physical activity. However, I have started to wake up 5am and do early walks in the morning. I tell you guys it is a great start to my day and gives me refreshing energy to start my day. The withdrawals are not as bad as long as I keep myself busy with law work. I will start figuring out mindless physical work I can do for my breaks today to help with my relaxation in between sessions. I will start out with walking around the lake and then try and get more creative, maybe draw or bring a book out to the lake after I walk around it for a little bit. Thank you all for your helpful and encouraging replies, it really is making a difference for me and giving me the strength to keep going!