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Fagus

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Everything posted by Fagus

  1. Hey, I'm from Germany, State of Bavaria, so please bear with my simple English. I've read though some of the topics here and it seems I've got the same story as everyone else here. I started gaming as a young boy and used it to escape reality. I've had a great time, but gaming is not meant to be used to cope with your problems and finallly became addictive. But somehow I always kept enough self-control to not let my real life completely get destroyed. I did everything that was necessary to maintain the facade of a normal life, while every spare moment and thought went into gaming. My current situation is, that I'm in a relationship for five years. I have a university degree and I am at the verge of starting a great job. But still I spend about 40-50 hours a week (so says my steam record) with gaming. I am leading two half lifes. There is my gaming life that I can not enjoy anymore but I also can't quit and my real life that, though it is full of potential, is just an empty shell because I dont spent more time there than absolutely needed. Recently I noticed some physical and mental issues connected to my game abuse. I can hardly concentrate, I'm not interested in any social contact and I struggle at finishing anything that needs more effort. I reviewed my diary and recognized that I really started the process of quitting about 6 month ago, when I wrote down how gaming affected my life and realised that in fact I am addicted. I managed to stop gaming for about 5 days in april, but i relapsed quickly through still spending time in front of the computer and watching videos. Some weeks ago my friends convinced me to start again with WoW which I had quit some years ago. It was such a pleasure to meet all my lost characters again and see how fast I could get familiar with everything. But I could not get as excited as I was in the past, gaming felt shallow and I had to play more and more to get the same results. So I went to youtube and searched for how to stop gaming. Though a video from Cam I got onto this site. I bought a version of Respawn with the money I wanted to spend on the next expansion of WoW. The next day I uninstalled all my games. And now here we are. I feel really confused. Today i spend my first day of this 90-day-detox thing. I went through a lot of the emotional stuff in april, when I made my first attempt to quit gaming. So that's a bit more easy now. Still I am so sad. Everything now brings back memories I made while gaming. But in fact I am also very glad. I watched some of the alcohol videos. I spent some thousand nights on gaming but except from this brain structure changing thing that Cam talked about, nothing really left any damage in my body. Now I only have to deal with my social anxiety without the possibility to flee into virtual realities. Okay, I'll end this post here, it got werid enough. The rest will go into my diary. As we say in my state: Pfiad's eich! May god protect you!