Alex

Day 19 "Yin and Yang" I find that I have to take each day as it comes, without expectations. I will have good days. I will also have bad days. Right now I'm trying to reconcile that the fact that the bad days are unavoidable and unpredictable. All that said, since I started the 90-day detox my good days are better than ever. The bad days also seem to have improved since the detox started. Today I'm grateful for: !) The good days being really good 2) The bad days being less bad than previously 3) re-discovering my love for music 4) Like-minded individuals to call friends Goals for tomorrow: 1) Finish out the week strong at work, so that I don't need to work so much on the weekend 2) Life and long term goal meditation 3) Make plans for the weekend to get outside

Day 17th "Yawning at 8pm" Woke up again at 5:30am, at work by 7am. I don't think I've ever woken up so early two days in a row. I feel like a totally different person right now. That and finishing all my work by 3pm is also a very strange feeling. I'm so tired at 8:20pm that I can't even think clearly. Weirrrrrrrd. Today I'm grateful for: 1) Being tired when the sun goes down. 2) Meeting deadlines instead of ignoring them 3) The best boss I'll probably have in my entire life Goals for tomorrow: 1) Wake up at 5:30am again. If I can do this for a week straight I will consider it a life achievement. 2) gym for 1 hr, emphasis on cardio for contrast 3) finish all work by 3pm 4) practice saxophone

Day 16 "Finding my stride" Incredible start to the day. Woke up at 5:30am (wha?!?!?) and was working out from 7am till 8am. Got a hearty breakfast and got straight to work. From 8:30am until 1pm I did about 3 days worth of work. It was awesome. Then after lunch I slowed down a lot, which is typical for me. Gonna try to do the same things tomorrow. I would give almost anything to keep this momentum going..... Today I'm grateful for: 1) Large fancy gym at school, which is vacant first thing in the morning 2) Being able to walk to most destinations during the work day 3) Ear plugs 4) Jasmine green tea Goals for tomorrow: 1) 5:30am wake up. Lets see how long I can keep this up 2) practice bassoon for an hour 3) Eat extra vegetables

Glad to hear you're on the right track! Welcome!

It sounds like you understand what you want. Maybe spend some time thinking about why you relapsed. Was it a particular stress or trigger in your life? If so, is it possible to work on the issue from that perspective?

Woke up at 5:30am, out the door by 6:30am, and at the gym from 7-8am. I feel invincible. the second one is win-or-lose the whole day! Trust me, I'm Mad Pharmacist This is feeling more and more true.

Day 15 "New tricks" Solid day today. Still can't quite get my exercise routine down when trying to work out at home, so I'll try going to the gym on campus tomorrow. Was triggered earlier today when a friend mentioned a new expansion to an MMO we played a lot of. I'm at the stage where I want to test my boundaries, so I read the patch notes for the expansion. I found that after I learned about the new changes, I was able to say "that's cool", and then put it away. The urge to play went away soon afterwards. I realize now that it was risky, so I'll try to avoid that type of behavior moving forward. Today I'm grateful for: 1) My education 2) Friends that feel like family 3) Uplifting music 4) Home-made meals Goals for tomorrow: 1) Wake up early- 6:30am 2) Work out first thing in the morning 3) No internet until lunchtime

Welcome! Its a great community here, so feel free to reach out with questions.

I can't remember a time in my life when I went 2 weeks without playing videogames. Its a strange and slightly uplifting feeling. Thanks to everyone out there for the support thus far. This is an amazing community.

Day 14 "New record!" Two good things about today: 1) I believe 14 days is a (adult) life record for days without playing videogames. Great success. 2) I had a few hours in the car today to think about my life. I spent a good 5-10 minutes focused on answering one question; am I less happy/fulfilled after giving up videogames? The answer surprised me. Having played zero games, no pc, no console, no phone (not even my beloved chess), I realized I felt exactly the same. I felt no difference in happiness or any other emotion. The only difference I could perceive in my general mood was that I was less anxious (probably more attributed to recent meditation schedule). I feel that I've developed a new perspective on gaming. While I have been feeling the tug of game cravings, if it never made me happy, why should I waste my time? This is a totally new experience for me. How much more will I change by day 90? Today I'm grateful for: 1) The ability to forgive 2) Perspective 3) Believing in myself 4) Thai peanut sauce Goals for tomorrow: 1) Drink 3 liters of water 2) Increase exercise to 40 minutes 3) Reflect on past success for motivation on future goals

Day 12 "Staying strong" Difficult day today in my personal life. Very difficult. Today I'm grateful for staying strong, and not relapsing into videogames.

Day 11 "Keep on swimming" Unfortunately missed a day posting yesterday, but I did have a great conversation with my accountability partner. Its really nice being able to chat with someone at the same stage of the detox, particularly when our moods and concerns are fairly aligned. I haven't had as much exercise in the past few days, and I wonder if that's the reason I've been feeling sluggish. I was reminded today of a thought provoking phrase to meditate on during rough days: "This too shall pass" The meaning being that all things, both positive and negative, are temporary. Today I'm grateful for: 1) Technology- making life easier (but not necessarily simpler) 2) Quiet spaces for thought 3) A healthy body Goals for tomorrow: 1) Long walk in the morning 2) Re-visit short term and long term goals 3) Focused guitar practice for 1 hr

Day 9 "Eternal sunshine for a spotless mind" Great day today in contrast to yesterday. I had a 2 mile walk planned for the morning, but felt so good to be out (and perfect sunny weather) that I made it a 4 mile walk. I don't know if its related, but I also had one of the best writing days I've had in a long time. I hope they are related. Also did well ignoring the internet. That was likely also a factor. Today I'm grateful for: 1) My father has a modern laptop that still says "You've got mail" via AOL 2) Long sunny walks 3) Living walking distance from phenomenal walking and biking trails 4) The good days Goals for tomorrow: 1) long bike ride in the morning 2) no internet again until 5pm

Day 8 "Where's my dopamine?!" Today was a tough day. I was having feelings of boredom, depression, and particularly apathy. I was about to make a post in the general forum asking for advice when I remembered that Cam spent a lot of time and effort writing Respawn. Thank you Cam. Thank you for taking the effort to craft a document full of guidance and support. It had exactly the advice I needed. I'm fairly confident that I'll continue to feel this way until my brain re-wires its dopamine sensitivity. But the fact that I know this is to be expected and an approximate timeline for it makes me feel so much better. The battles must be fought one day at a time. Today I'm grateful for: 1) Having the resources to steer my life in the right direction 2) Stoicism 3) Knowing that I can forgive myself Goals for tomorrow: 1) Long walk before breakfast 2) No internet before 5pm 3) Increase meditation to 20 minutes

I'm right there with you, buddy. Tough day for me too.

Day 7 "A whole week?!?!" Its been 7 full days since I started the 90-day detox, and I feel great. I've noticed that I'm spending more time on important things; such as exercise, catching up with family, and thinking about short/long term goals. My anxiety is severely diminished compared to a week ago as well. Did pretty well with my goals today: woke up a bit later than I wanted, but got a full hour of archery in before the temperature became uncomfortable (bonus- being outside enjoying nature). Went to the local farmer's market and bought delicious and nutritious food for the week while simultaneously getting another 30 minutes of exercise. Internet procrastination was much better today. Today I'm grateful for: 1) The feeling of vitality imparted from eating fresh vegetables 2) Having the ability to support local businesses and shun Walmart and the like 3) The feeling of freedom from the realization that my future can be what I want it to be, and to hell with other's expectations 4) The support network provided by friends and family during times of stress and hardship. Can't be grateful enough for this. Goals for tomorrow: 1) Out of bed by 7am- must continue pushing toward my desired waking schedule 2) Weight training for 30 minutes 3) Start a conversation with a stranger for social development (thinking bookstore or cafe) 4) Zero internet procrastination before completing work objectives (maybe a little ambitious, but have to try)

So much truth in this video. Great work Cam. Making concise 8 minute videos must be difficult, but it is breath of fresh air.

Day 6, Evening "Well that was interesting...." Not too much to update on today. A bit of game craving but nothing unmanageable. I did notice something good/strange today with my eyes. My pupils have always been pretty small, never really dilated too large even in low light. This afternoon (2pm-ish) I looked in the mirror, in a very well lit room, and my pupils appeared at least twice as large as they normally are. I wonder if the lack of back-lit screen time is actually allowing my eyes to return to a more normal state. If so, I've found another health benefit to stop gaming. Today I'm grateful for: 1) My sister who is a baker, and brings gourmet donuts when she visits 2) My father, who at 75 is healthier than most 60-year olds I've seen. Especially after a heart attack + cancer in 2004. 3) 10-year high school reunions. 4) Low humidity Goals for tomorrow: 1) wake up at 7:30am 2) practice archery from 8-9am 3) Less than 20 minute of procrastination while working on computer 4) Exercise for 30 minutes

Day 6, Morning "Cravings coming on" I missed posting on Day 5, and feel a little anxious about it. I don't want to start falling behind so early. I had an interesting realization this morning however, which may related to missed post. I had more stress about gaming yesterday than since the detox began (a friend was showing me his character on an MMO again yesterday) and I started to feel the craving to game. Historically, I turn to activities I can binge on (games, netflix, anime, reading). Last night I was reading from 8:30pm till 1am. I wondering now if the added stress of the day from gaming exposure actually trigger the binge. If that happens to be my trigger-response behavior, I will have learned something very valuable. Perhaps I'll test it by seeing if I can put down the book at a reasonable on days where I had little to no gaming exposure. To be cont.

A great way to reset your body's circadian rhythm is camping! No back-lit screens, turning in reasonably soon after the sun has set, and waking up with the sun. A few days of that schedule make me feel invincible.

Day 4 Evening: Finding a new groove Solid day today. I started working at 9am today, with only a 20ish minute period of procrastination. That in itself is a welcome improvement. Put in a solid 9-5pm work day, which have been rare lately. I'm feeling motivated to keep up the momentum (also set new deadlines with my boss, and I think the structure will help). Today I'm grateful for: 1) Family (related or not) dinners 2) Colleagues willing to be sounding boards 3) Junior members of my team thinking enough of me to come for advice 4) Coffee flavored yogurt (or anything coffee flavored, really) Goals for tomorrow: 1) Start working with less than 15 minutes of procrastination 2) Go for an evening walk 3) Get to sleep by 10pm 4) Out of bed by 6:30am

Day 4 Morning "Well that's a new type of nightmare" I woke up this morning to a dream I feel compelled to share here on the forum. In my dream, I was spending time with a friend who prompted me to start playing a video game with them. I have a strong memory, from in my dream, of feeling ASHAMED that I was gaming. This was a completely new experience for me. When I woke up and realized it was only a dream and I had not failed my 90-day detox, I was overjoyed! Dreams- the one place where I'm more happy to fail than any other.

Day 3: Temptation avoided! Fantastic day today. Woke up early for a beautiful drive through upstate new york, and had a blast reconnecting with no less than 5 people I hadn't seen in some time. Getting out of the house and into an academic environment (college campus) felt GREAT. I didn't even think about video games all day. My first trial did appear in the evening however.... A very good friend of mine wanted to talk about and then show me an update in an MMO that we played a lot in the past. I was able to hold out for a few minutes for fear of being rude, and then politely asked to change the subject. I was waiting for this moment to happen to see how much of a reaction it would get out of me. I did feel the urge to play, but by closing the game and moving our conversation to the kitchen it subsided pretty quickly. It went over very well, and we are doing non-gaming activities tonight. I also paired up with an accountability partner today: one MmmWatermelon who also recently started the 90-day detox. Our video chat left me feeling very positive and motivated to keep the momentum going. We planned for weekly video chats as a way to support each other if a tough week should arise. Things I'm grateful for: 1) Long-time friends who never let the passage of time interrupt the conversation 2) Supportive advisers- I would not be where I am today without my adviser in graduate school 3) Paper novels over back-lit tablet screens- my eyes thank you 4) Chai Goals for tomorrow: 1) Start working by 8:30am 2) Go to the gym! 3) Smile at anyone who makes eye contact 4) Maintain all friendships after a game of Risk-Opoly tomorrow night (sarcasm)

Day 2: so far so good I expected the gaming itch to kick in right away, considering it happened often when I WAS gaming (that might have been the most satisfying use of "was" ever...). Surprisingly, I didn't have an urge to game all day. Neat. I hit 2/3 of my goals today; didn't quite make it out of bed by 7am. Headspace is currently my favorite app. So let's wrap up with some things I'm grateful for and some goals for tomorrow. I'm grateful for: 1) guided meditation 2) new York style pizza: I missed this the most living briefly in the south 3) the newfound ability to look inward for answers Goals for tomorrow: 1) wake up promptly at 6am, on the road by 9am at the latest for drive upstate. 2) go out of my way to reconnect with former colleagues 3) go for a run in the evening

Hi everyone, My name is Alex, and I've been a gamer for 20 years. I can't say when gaming morphed from a hobby into an addiction, but it couldn't be clearer now that video games are negatively impacting my life. I can't believe how much I resonate with the people posting in this forum.... That was the deciding factor for me: the time to give up gaming was yester-year. I hope to have the opportunity to get to know and talk with many people here. Let's support each other on our new journey toward better lives! Cheers, -Alex