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quitandrole

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About quitandrole

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  1. I deleted my games last week and now I just browse the internet much more instead. I don't have the energy to do anything with my life except for walking an hour and a half a day, talking with my mom and learning something once in awhile during the week. I am all day at home so I have the whole day to do something with myself and going for a walk or trying to learn something feels like nothing. Every time I think of doing something real and different my social anxiety pops up and tells me not to do it. I don't even have the energy to write this message more thoughtfully. I won't have school until at least after the summer break and it seems like deciding not to play games was a stupid move because I have nothing else to do.
  2. Hello, my name is Orel, I'm 16.7 years old guy and for the last 4-5 years all what I was doing was playing video games and browsing the internet. At the age of 12 I completely stopped going to school. By the time I was at school I had just 1 friend, my favorite teacher had left my class and my grades started to sink while when playing the computer everything felt so differently. Slowly but steadily I started refusing to go to school in order to play the computer more. Much more. Until I stopped going altogether. It all started with the game Maple Story that my friend started to play and insisted that I'd play too. As a 11 years old boy I was playing until the morning sometimes, it was so addictive. I even wasted all of the money I had to get better gear. When I would start the game I would easily get soaked in it. Then I started adding FIFA as well. I always liked soccer. When I got 13 I had a flashback of my childhood and how much I loved playing Pokémon, so I decided to start playing again. It seemed that even mature people liked catching those monsters, so it didn't seem childish. I started off by buying a Nintendo 3DS console and a flashcart, but because I enjoyed the game so much I bought even more consoles and Pokémon games. I would play at night and sleep in the morning, for 3 fucking years. I wanted to be really good at competitive battling, so I spent my time learning the competitive side of the games. I also had other goals, such as catching all the 721 Pokémons, hunting Shinies (rare varations) and breeding Pokémon with perfect/competitive stats. By the way I caught them all. I know pretty much all the Easter Eggs and trivia about the games. I spent probably $2000 if not more about consoles, games and other merchandise. I had lots of legitimate/not hacked Legendary/Shiny/Event Pokémons. A year ago everything started to change when I started having extreme bad thoughts/severe OCD that led me to quit playing Pokémon and trying to return to school. I've quit Pokémon for good and haven't touched it ever since, but I dropped out from school again because it was too hard for me to wake up everyday and go to such institute, especially with the anxiety I had back then. So I returned to sitting all day at home and bought a PS4 and over the last year 11 games. I played mainly FIFA 16 and The Witcher 3, but it has been a week already that I haven't touched them. They no longer give me a real pleasure. I deleted all the games from my computer and I'm going to sell my PS4, as I want to get back into life (use the move Rebirth). I want to go to school and start taking steps to achieve my real goals, instead of hiding behind the keyboard. I think my problem isn't only playing games but also mindlessly browsing the internet. My detox will have to include a restriction of that as well. Chances are I'm going to lurk here and post here a journal. Wish me luck as I'm about start my 90 days detox!
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