Josephh

I’m starting this journal so that I have some kind of record that can keep me accountable during this time. Also, knowing the importance of writing things down and keeping a habit, I’m hoping to put out an entry at least daily for the next couple of months. Day 1 has been going fine for the most part. I’m getting urges/cravings to keep playing and my other mindless addiction of browsing the Internet to replace that void hasn’t completely vanished yet, perhaps as a result of still not completely filling in the time with some activities to do. Although I had to do some other errands and I’ve gone to class today (for summer school)… so that counts for something. I’m going to try to read up further on some of the book suggestions that I’ve been given later on when I can (4 Hour Chef, The Slight Edge, etc.), although right now I’m also reading up on some of the other journals and the other treasure troves of information that can be found here and elsewhere, which is quite a lot for now. I think the social skills section of this forum might also be more relevant to me given my severe social anxiety, which I have received treatment in the past for. It's definitely one of the big-picture goals I've been trying to work on to reduce this anxiety. (Side-note on my anxiety is that it isn’t as serious as it used to be but it’s still an issue I have to deal with constantly. I kind of still loathe things like job interviews for example, or walking up randomly to strangers and asking them for specific favors sometimes, although I know that inevitably I will have to deal with this at some point.) My goals for tomorrow are to continue with my fitness goals (which I haven't been able to do today, although I did do quite a fair bit of walking around), do some additional studying for school (as I have some readings to do) and perhaps continue reading more and learning more about other individuals who are also involved in this community. Anyways, that’s all I have to say at this point. Onward to day 2!

I have a few activities in mind, some smaller activities to begin with include learning how to cook, doing some more reading, learning meditation and experimenting with exercising and fitness (the latter I've already begun doing the past few days). I say smaller because I have other larger goals I want to accomplish in mind, but I find these goals very daunting - it's part of the reason why I retreated to video games in the first place. I might elaborate further when I start a journal entry. Summer school (which for me began recently) also preoccupies a bit of my time away from the computer as well and gets me out of the house, so that will help me quite a bit.

Hello everyone, My name is Joseph. Given my decision to register an account and post, I have decided to quit gaming for good. I hope that by participating in this community and with enough determination and focus that I will be able to stop. Prior to this moment, I’ve already attempted many times to try to quit video games, with each successive one failing (the longest I’ve probably gone was about a month). I was hooked on video games for about as long as I can remember as a kid. Even in kindergarten I would recall spending lots of hours in front of the computer rather than playing outside with others like how others would normally grow up, although I think this might be more of a common thing nowadays. I probably used it as a way to escape from a lot of the familial problems, the bullying and other issues I had as a kid growing up. To this day I still use it as a way to ‘self-medicate’ a lot of the anxieties and fears I currently have about living and taking control of my life, which I emphasize because it clearly doesn’t work and it only seems to delay and worsen my issues even further. Currently my addiction isn’t as bad as it used to be, since many of these attempts have occurred within the past few years and I’ve been able to take breaks in between. My life overall has slightly improved over those few years as I’ve gone from being a college dropout to back to being a college student again (and my marks so far are pretty average, but could be better). However, whenever I end up relapsing I return to some of the usual habits of gaming for hours and hours without much of a break in between. I think the reasons for such relapses are the fact that I haven’t replaced these hours with other meaningful activities. Much of the time I’ve spent playing games for example ends up being spent on surfing the Internet on time wasting things, for example. This is alongside the fact that I feel that gaming is my escape from reality for the reasons I’ve mentioned above. Anyways, to keep the rest of this short and brief; I’m only doing this because I find that now that I am a college student again (and want to be in college) and that I still have a few years left that I need to make the best of in regards to my experience. I definitely have many goals I want to accomplish over this journey, which I don’t want to elaborate further without turning this post into more of the essay that it already is, but hopefully it will all work out in the end.