Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Sowelu

  1. No BIG lists of things to do every day, do the opposite! Before you go to sleep, write down one thing that you want to get done the next day. When you wake up, complete that one task in the morning. With that done you have now made progress and achieved a goal for the day, you have won the day! These add up FAST and is HUGE in bringing you success of all kinds. This has been my experience also. But then it might be tied to my personality type. However despite that I believe the fundamental principle is right. KISS (I am sure you know what the acronym stands for in programming 😉 ) EDIT. that is not Simple Life thinking at all. It's great you can do such reflection! The ability to step up is at least super-helpful, if not essential. Got most of my games deleted today and my goal tomorrow morning is to have them all gone! I did that in my past. The furthest I went was to delete save games and uninstall. I am impressed by your dedication and burning the bridges! Singing Bowl sound bath anyone? This is by far my favorite one so far: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq8snFSEwlU If you like that kind of music, I can wholeheartedly recommend this https://www.abebooks.com/Sounds-Tibet-journey-top-world-CD-Box/30528398451/bd It has super energy. Every song is great and every is brimmed with energy. Quite an opposite to the usual calming ones. It's like an ode to life. Not sure where you can get it digitally and for free though... as I listen to some Tony Robbins motivational speaking about progress! I like him too! I read the Awaken the Giant Within and it changed my view on many things. Mostly it made me realize with no regrets that I am responsible for my life - that it's me who chooses the reaction to events in life. You can't control what befalls you. You can control how you choose to interpret it. This made me much more at ease with negative things in my life. Think zen panda. 😄 ASCII video example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55iwMYv8tGI&t=1232s Wow, I like that very much! Immediatelly reposted! I then got a looping bash alias written that uses the Linux "termdown" program to assist with doing home workouts. I got a pretty intense full body day put in as I got everything working just how I wanted by tweaking the script little by little throughout the day. This is all the goals I accomplished today but this bash alias will serve me well building new workout routines and adapting to new exercises! I might even try to get this alias further developed into an actually packaged program, good night GQ! You have impressive skills. Say, would you be willing to help me with my school IoT project? 😄 Need to set up Rapberry with NodeRed and static IP so that remote app can connect to it. I already have NodeRed installed on Raspbian, but I am too intimidated by 50-pages long technical manual how to set up static IP with it 😄 Simply put, I don't speak Linuxeeese 😄
  2. Yesterday was on the easier side. Got up at six am, came home at ten pm, totally exhausted. Today it's gonna be worse. I am coming home earlier and I need to push school stuff really hard because of deadlines. Plenty of opportunity to "relax" a bit by playing a game. And tomorrow is is home office. Same story. I am getting cravings just thinking about it. Get a beer and do some shotgun action. Or Humankind... ...or something. Well, not there yet. For now I'll concentrate on the now. And hope for the best later on. That it will somehow sort itself out. If I had something I enjoy doing it would be better, but it's so hard to resist when I do stuff I hate. Makes the motivation non-existent. EDIT: Having really hard time resisting the urge to play a bit when I come back home. I can practically see myself getting a beer and launching Cyberpunk.
  3. Not sure why I my last posts are hidden and I can only delete them. It's quite irritating. I follow the advice and then I can't even post in my own thread... 😞
  4. Thank you. I feel like I need to free up time just to manage all the stuff going on (and then some), but you might be right. I probably need to do something I like and enjoy despite needing that time for something else. Otherwise I might get overwhelmed and burn out. ---------------------- Huh, weird stuff with moderation in my own thread happening... Anyway, next entry Resisting today's temptation was easier than I originally thought. For different reasons though. I started feeling really tired at the end of the workday and I went to bed right after I came home. My powernap lasted for 5 hours, I woke up, stomach upsite down. Something is going on. Either I am ill or I got ill because of stress or such. Anyway, it's a win for my gq as I highly doubt I will succumb today. But I'll take it. Second day. Baby steps. I am feeling bad because I am neglecting school and not doing the exams I need, but I forgive myself for screwing that. I got really good in this department... Apart from the snappy comment, I am going to bed in rather good mood. I suppose with more days in, things will sink in more and gq will become more substantial.
  5. Thank you. I feel like I need to free up time just to manage all the stuff going on (and then some), but you might be right. I probably need to do something I like and enjoy despite needing that time for something else. Otherwise I might get overwhelmed and burn out.
  6. Yesterday there were some cravings. I was immensely tired, barely drove kids back home midday. Slept most of the day. I was thinking about AoW3 and a bit about disc priest, but I got over it. Biggest pull atm is Cyberpunk. All ended well from gq viewpoint. Day one is over and it was a success. Yesterday evening I watched movies with my son so I had something to occupy myself with. Today it's gonna be just me and the need to go through the hated statistics. I am worried that the temptation might be very strong. Just to play a bit... The problem is I can't concentrate only on gq. I have to manage it along other stuff. Anyway, I know the challenges ahead and I'll deal with the as they come. Until then, I need to conserve my strength.
  7. Woke up early, took care of kids, turned on computer, intent on getting something done. In the morning I had a brief craving, I brushed it off with gaming being a crutch. It worked. I felt a mild pressure mid-brow as usual with things requiring mental forcefulness. After it went away I felt the urge go away. Round one won. Many more to come. I am thinking about the course in neuroplasticity and keep in mind that exercising will is a muscle. I need to save my mental strength for next cravings. Also, I know it's a habit that can't be overcome by will alone, it needs to be replaced by something. I opened browser. Opened tab with Cyberpunk skill jumped at me. I clicked away, resisting the urge to play it. I took a sudden liking in it a few days ago. Playing on very hard, second playtrough, 4k on max settings with rtx on. The urge is strong. The immersion is... ...calling me. I resisted. I try to keep in mind I can't win this battle by thinking too far ahead. I will fail if I think about it in too long term. Then the task will seem unsurmountable. Too big to handle. A mountain is build stone by stone. So shall I compose myself too. I read you can't think too far ahead in these things and my experience confirms it. I need to think only about this one battle and not give in to bartering of future promises. I need to win here and now. That's the goal. Not to think too much. Just win this battle. I manage to not come back to it for now. I start doing online exams from statisctics. I hate it. It's unnecessarily compliacated, with professor coming up with overly complicated questions and phrases on purpose. I see no point in learning the subject for my future career. I find it very frustrating. but I must brace myself and do it. The problem with it being that it throws me off balance and drains my willpower. I am subconsciously replenishing my mental reserves by drinking a local brand of Coke. Bad for my heath, a cheat. A quick fix. But i don't feel like tacking the healthy lifestyle now. Another thing in the todo list. Another battle to fight. But not here and now. My experience has taught me to conserve my strength. Not to take too much or else everything will fail. My favourite motto from Civ: Do not chase two rabbits; you'll lose them both. Doing the statistics exam I hate, I feel pressure to do some work as I am on homeoffice. One kid needs my attention. Another "distraction". A lot of stress going on, I have many responsibilities. Hell, my health started deteriorating, I need to deal with it too. I have too many things to effectively battle, yet I know quitting gaming will give me energy and time to win the other battles. This is probably the most important battle. I just need to manage other stuff so that it doesn't fall apart and concentrate on this. Oh and a new gf. A lovely woman. However with everything going on, I barely have time to see her once per week. I want spend time with her, but it goes on the expense of other things, especially school. I won't have a free weekend for the next few months, yet I feel like I desperately need a true rest. I have been going on like this for years now, with last two years being crazy with the added studying on university and career change. It's hard to find a solid foothold and strength to reshape my life into something I want to. Sysifos. Constantly exhausted, pushing some boulder up the hill. I wouldn't change my past. I accept what I am. I am a procrestinator, a gamer, an addict. I flee from reality into the pain-free bubble. I thin I learned it in the childhood when my aunts tortured me. I hate myself for being weak and yet I know I have to overcome myself. I despise myself for playing games, but rather than face the pain, the ever grinding responsibilities, I escape. I know I will hate myself for it, but I often turn on the game, get a beer and cut myself from the reality. Rationally I know I am just making things worse since they clump up and it will be harder to deal with them later - and I will have to deal with them, face them, they won't go away by themselves. But that's not how it works. Just realizing how things are doesn't make them go away. I need to put in effort. In a world where I feel almost everything is a bleak grind, there is only one shining isle of happiness. One oasis where I am free. Gaming. Preferably drunk. Hell, I don't even like the alcohol anymore. I just do it. And now I call this only place a crutch - which I know to be true - and give it up. What will remain? No happiness. Just duty and doing stuff I don't want but is expected. Giving up the only thing that I "love" in this world. Rationally I know this to be false, but that's now how it works with addiction and love. It's not even midday and I have many duties to fulfill. Somewhere along the way I need to find the strength to win some of the hardest battles in my life. I think Robbins. How in his book he gradually comes to the point where the biggest and most powerful way to change my life is to become inside what I want to be. From this new identity effects will ripple outside and the result will be the life I want. So I need to convince myself I have already quit the gaming and experience the state. That is how you draw miracles. That is how you change your life. I am tired. A few hours have passed. This is the easy part. Worse will come later on. With mental reserves depleted and bad habits kicking in, the real battle will come in the evening. For now, i conserve my strength and hope this journal will somehow be a step in the right direction. Something that will help me overcome the part I hate about myself and become what I feel I can be. 11: Fought off craving for playing Distant Worlds: Universe I bought yesterday. It's exactly the kind of games I love. Deep, complex. Easy to get lost in. And supposedly really briliant. Reminds me of Space Empires and it's compared to Stellaris. Need to focus.
  8. Hi, I have been trying to beat my addiction for many years now. At least ten. Possibly more. Looking for a way to end this curse. Also, looking for a buddy to talk to about these things. And go through this process with. I am 41; a father of two kids. Took up studying at university. Lot of stuff going on in my life with nobody to really to talk to about it who would understand and be in a similar situation. I used to be a heavy smoker and I managed to quit ten years ago. Now I pray I will do the same with gaming. I've been gaming for past 30-ish years so the habit and the crutch is strong. :D
  • Create New...