Everything posted by GermanB12
Day #1. Today was lazy Saturday. Not much have been done. I have not played though, and did some house work. I feel like If I will be devouting some time to tudying my place it won't be a mess and also it won't be a major hassle. Not much to report though. I'm glad that I did today, namely: 1) Started this diary, I see how it may help me. 2) Tried to reach out to people. Although I could not arrange our meeting, I think it is a starting point to live an active social life. 3) Watched some videos on relationship. I have a glimpse on weak points of my perosnality now, and see what I should work on. edit: Just noticed it is a wrong subforum for daily journal.
Hi, gamequitters! Today I mark it day one again. And I'm serious now. A revised story: So almost everything goes the same as I depicted it 11 months ago. Not much have changed, sadly. After competting my 3rd year with questionable results, I have also completed my brief army service. Unfortunately, my health have dropped in September to the point where I was not comfortable leaving my house. Again, I found some relief in games, I was devoured by them. This time, I woke up a month earlier, and things don't look so gruesome as it was a year ago. With this being my final year there are new problems on my horizon, though, such as graduation and choosing whether I move back to my hometown, move elsewhere and either continue studies our start working. What was the boiling point: Thankfully, I started to lose a lot, and quickly I started to receive little to no happiness from games. A two day recess has opened eyes on what I have been doing all these years. Apart from gaming I had no other hobby, and consequently, when I dropped that, I noticed that I don't know what could I do instead of gaming. On top of that, I realised I have been living, or better to say I have not been living social life at all. The last time I went out with my friend, she asked me if I hated people, because it was abnormal for her to hear what I have not made friends here apart from 1 guy. In addition, I feel like I crave relationship in any form last months. Also, I have been turned down by employers when I was searching for internship. I think this is due to my nearly blank resume and dull mind so I failed tests. My 90 days grand goals: 1) Complete detox. Although I started earlier, I declare today as day one, as it is sort of official here. 2) Finish university. Not much left, I have to basicly finish my thesis and that's it. 3) Prepare for entry exams. My minor goals: 1) Socialize more, improve my social skills. Meet new people and try to make friends. 2) Learn guitar. I have some basic skills playing it, but I dropped it for 4 years. It is kind of not easy to come back, as my brain became of not easy with learning notes and patterns, but I'm looking forward making guitar my recreational hobby. 3) Make this diary a part of daily routine. I was thinking about a diary for 4 years now, but could not find where to keep it. This place seems like a right place for it. I feel I need it to be retrospectiveon what I do in my life, so I can track progress. 4) Exercise atleast once in two days. 5) Try to incorporate meditation in my routine.
Hello, gamequitters! My name is German, I'm from Russia and I'm 21 years old. This started really long ago. Can't really recall if I was 3 or 4 then, but I was introduced to computer games quite early. Early in childhood, I did not have any problems with it, it was kind of beneficial, actually. It helped to make friends with others. I was not playing much for a long time, but maybe 8-10 years ago I surpassed my parents control and started to devote a lot of time to playing video games. Things were not critical until now. Now when it all really hurts. So, now I learn in a branch of good Russian university. This is clearly a product of my obsession with computer games, as it was easier to enter unlike the university itself, which is situated in Moscow, the capital. Originaly my friend suggested we would go there, so we can become really succesful and continue our friendship. Unlike him, I did not have what it takes to acomplish this, however I'm certain I could have done that if I exchanged some of Dota time to studying. Anyway, I had to move to another city, quite far away frome my hometown. By now, it's been 3 years since then. The problem I faced at the start is that I don't really know how to make friends and i disliked the city to some extent. I learned OK for two semstres, but then I asked my parents to buy me a notebook, so I could study with more convenience (I have to use excell, word and some other economic programmes for my studies). The bitter part of it is that I was away of my parents, so I had/having a lot of freedome, and there is noone to shame me for my addiction. On top of that, I started to feel bad about not having relationship and having quitely ruined career path(I'm afraid my eductaion will not be enough to get a well-paid job). So I got into a competitive MOBAs. Yeah, some sence of struggle, a glimpse on success, a dream of big money and easiness of recovering from a loss gave me some escape from reallife. Right now, I'm tight on time for my course work, and the grades for this year subject are not competitve to the most of other students. I have to prepare myself physicly to military training, which takes place this June, so I could survive the marathon there. On top of that, I feel like I am dropped out from life. I'd like to experiment if that would help, so I started not to play today. I have deleted steam, but not the account yet, as I feel like it worth selling it. That's might be a lot of words, but it kept coming from under my fingers fluidly. To anyone passing-by this thread, I wish you could beat your addiction!