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SID4002

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About SID4002

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  1. Sure! I'll start my daily journal right after my exams end. Can't wait for this part of my journey/life!
  2. Hi everyone! I'm Sid, and I've recently chosen to put an end to my gaming addiction. I'm 17, overweight, currently in Highschool and live in India. Being an India, my family has high expectations from me and what I will do in the future. This all started back in 10th Grade when the pandemic first hit, and I lost touch with some of my school friends in the process. My best friend killed herself due to school stress around the same time, and a few days later my Parents got divorced officially (they were separated for 4-5 years) . I remember this time like it was yesterday, because that week where all these events occurred was like hell for me. My mother was stressed and started beating me. She broke my phone, and I lost contact with even more friends. My mother tortured me, called me fat and used to beat me to a pulp. To cope with all of this, I started playing rocket league. Instead of attending online school, I played Rocket League and never cared for my grades. My grades dropped, my mothers beating got worse. It got so bad that I had to run off to my friends place for a few weeks and then took a flight and went to my dads place. However, that void of not having any social life, not getting anything done in real life, and just basically wanting to escape the harsh reality of my situation of not knowing anything in school and flunking all my tests prompted me to start playing Valorant. My friend introduced me to Valorant last year, saying it was fun and I should try it out. And indeed it was fun. I wake up, watch videos on the game. I then play the game instead of studying for my tests or attending school. I then again consume media on that game. At night, you guessed it, I play the game for an unhealthy amount of time. My mother has given up on me, and my father thinks I won't be able to anything in my life in the future. To escape from all of this, I play Valorant. Also, I masterbate a lot because I feel lonely and always want to feel happy for just a few seconds. I want to stop that as well. My exams start tomorrow, and I currently have not studied a single thing. Instead, I was watching or playing Valorant (or masturbating). The reality hit me when I actually opened my math book for my math exam tomorrow and saw I knew nothing. I immediately deleted my game and looked for ways to put an end to my miserable lifestyle once and for all. I've tried to stop before, but I keep uninstalling/reinstalling the game and my sad lifestyle continues that way. I hope that by sharing my story I would be able to go on this journey with some support and gain advice from people who have been doing this for quite some time. I wrote this in a hurry as I needed to study for my exam tomorrow. I really look forwards to beginning my new journey in life and can't wait to Stop Gaming. Regards, Sid