TwiddlyWurt

Deletion(25) Jeez, this is hard. Soon Steam will be no more. Console started taking up time though so this isn't a pure gamequit situation. Still, reversing the enmeshment between gaming and the PC will make computer work easier. I hope.

Deletion(4) Well, feeling a lot more grounded today. A lot of QA testing. I like the role because it allows me to think about the proper design of things, thought sometimes it feels like it takes too long. So far so good on the not gaming thing. Also, I performed my first Lache today. Woo.

Deletion(2) Yeah, I have some major career goals to pull off. Will have to move to a new place if I pull it off. So it's a pretty big one. Still, the sheer weight of pressure doesn't do much for my focus frankly. The habits I'm trying to pick up to adapt to the pressure, are where the gold is at. Figuring them out is challenging, though. I do need something to fill that fantasy/psychological/story/gamey world that I'm cutting off. There's so much cool stuff in the story telling and aesthetic of a lot of the games. I mean, think of cosplay, philosophy, all sorts of things. Gaming is a world where so much comes together. But it comes packaged in a Skinners Box that traps people in an endless loop of lever pushing/pulling. It's tragic really. In a way, I'm in awe of the power gaming has had over me. In another way, the whole thing seems tragic in a way that I can't really define. I can't clearly morally condemn gaming and I can't just condone it either. Some games seem much more content rich and less of a Skinners Box. I can't go back though. The appeal of that box, is just too much. I just don't know what exists to replace it, for all the replacements are so different in character that I wonder if they are even replacements to begin with. And does that mean, that I'm killing something of value in my life. What am I sacrificing really? I think if I answer that question, maybe I can figure out a better answer.

Deletion(1) @Amphibian220 some good question prompts. I have attempted to diary my emotions in the past but it never becomes a consistent habit. I’ll try again.

Deletion(0) The Old God attacked ferociously, pinning me to the ground. I would go nowhere, they would make sure of it They promised me many things. Empty things. Beautiful things. I found it hard to resist. The hallow things rang empty, the deception laid bare. What connections existed were but an illusion, one gleefully pacted under the Old Gods watchful glare. I will not falter. I am done regretting all my failed fights against this Old One, for they are old and masterful in their ways. 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, however long it takes, will I strike out against the illusions of the Old One. The Old God Must Die The deletions have begun anew. I will be here more often, counting down the days, for within a month. @Jason70@Amphibian220 My careers is IT based. My interests pretty much don't exists. I do believe I would do well in a place where I could just discuss issues more freely. Right now I don't feel like I can express my opinions to anyone on, well anything. I really just don't have people to talk to. I'm afraid I've become quiet droll without any experiences, or new bits of knowledge to reference in conversation. Socialite Status Level : 0

Already want to chill and watch some gaming videos. The heads of the hydra are many. The pain of the sacrifice is being felt. A large part of me, will die. It is necessary, the rotten flesh must be burned off. Why must it feel so empty, though.

All accounts are queued up for deletion. Need to last one month before it is finished. One month to win a war.