Commissar

Day 2. Day 2. The good news is I've been too busy chasing down assignments to even think about games. The bad news is I've been too busy chasing down assignments to sleep since my last entry. Had a consultation with a counsellor as well, around all of that, and there's some hope of arranging sessions in future to come up with some more productive habits and chase down that procrastination-bug. So, this one'll be very short before I crawl off to bed. If I ever have to write the word hydroelectricity again, it'll be too soon.

Day 1. It's a hectic day, in university land. There's multiple assignments coming due, and the old procrastination bug has reared its head again. It's late in the day, and I'm only just cracking on now. Both with this journal and coursework. Still. Late's better then never, and I've got a kettle and more tea to hand than any sensible person should have. I'm writing this now, as a commitment not to let this happen again. I've said that I'll quit before - Every time a deadline comes around, it feels, and consequences finally catch up. I've signed up for the program this time. I'm hopeful the sense of structure will hold me to it more than I've been able to do on my own. I've been gaming for a long time, but it really took hold a year or so after I finished high school. I found myself delaying university study to help with a family business that had fallen into trouble. It was a stressful environment, and pervaded every aspect of family life, to the point that we ended up living on the worksite in what had begun life as a staff room. There was no real divide between work and home, and no real power to take action on the things that were the cause of the stress. I started gaming ritually in the evenings, for as long as I could. It didn't make me feel better, but at least it stopped me from feeling worse. It became an escape from conditions that I didn't feel I had any power to change. Those days are (thankfully!) long behind me now, but the habit overstayed those conditions by long years, and become steadily more disruptive as the pandemic keeps me at home longer. With the looming deadlines it'll likely be a late night - So, by necessity, these journals are likely to start brief. I feel it's important to have something written down though, if only for my own sake. For all that, having a commitment to work on it is liberating. Even if it is intimidating. Acknowledging the hill's there is better than waiting for the landslide.

Hi folks, Mid-twenties university student here! Gaming's been a habit for a long time, and one that I've consistently tried (and failed!) to scale down on my own. Even posted back on the stopgaming reddit years ago, way back when. It's been steadily impacting academic work and outside life, and the recent pandemic's really made it clear to me just how far out of control it's gotten. It's been a creative outlet for me for a long time, to the point it's devoured every other hobby I really had. Say one thing for the steam hours counter, say it's a wake-up call. I've finally bit the bullet and acknowledged that it's something to seek help on. Here's to a new start, and best of luck to all of you out there doing the same!