SirTot

It's awesome that you're drawing with your girlfriend. I have a friend I work out with, and he has helped motivate me into getting in shape- at least in better shape than I would by myself. Having someone to share an activity with will motivate you and take you further for sure. Good luck to you and your drawing endeavors, and I look forward to seeing your drawings if you decide to post them.

http://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong I found this talk this morning, and I felt like I was able to relate to it. For me, gaming addiction has always made up for my lack of a social/intimate life. I've spent very little time connecting with people around me because I was always afraid of being vulnerable to people. I thankfully have had a loving family - despite my parents being divorced since I was 7 - but outside of that, I hardly ever found any real tangible connections for myself outside of what I inherited, and whenever I did, they mostly came and went just as I let them. On top of that, I never trusted my parents to know any of my bad habits (they still don't know I'm on this detox from video games and porn addiction). The only person I ever trusted was myself, and because of that, I've lived a relatively shallow life away from all the people I ever could have known. Only recently have I realized that my lack of connection with people is what has brought my gaming habits to the level of an addiction. To protect myself from my loneliness, I instead gamed to my heart's content instead of challenging myself to break out of my habit loop and find people to enjoy life with. Although this TED talk is specifically about drug addiction, I feel like this can relate to gaming addiction as well. I know that everyone's situation is different. I just thought I'd share in case anyone might feel the same. I really think that the will to openly connect with other people and to the world itself is the best chance anyone has to break away from a major addiction that cripples their life.

Day 2 Whoa, Day 2. It's like Day 1... but a little better! Today started off with work, as usual. There's this girl I like there. I got her number last week, but I am still not very good with the social aspect of my life (especially toward women). I asked her out a while ago via text like... 2 hours after I got her number. I didn't hear back from her for many hours, and thought maybe it wasn't a good idea (I became insecure) and took it back later that night because I thought I said or did something wrong, and decided that maybe it'd be better to call her and talk to her a little while first before asking her out. She's a nice girl, very pretty, too. She seems a bit more mature for her age because it turned out she's younger than I thought she is. But anyway... After a week of unanswered calls and texts I sent that didn't get responses at all - or not until late at night when I'd be sleeping - I gave up at some point, realizing that maybe I screwed up my chances with her right away and she lost interest. Whether or not that's true, I saw her today at work for the first time since last week. I noticed that after asking her out she started to become a bit distant. She seemed more openly social around other people instead of me, and it was the same thing today. Before she was openly social to me, but now she's becoming distant. Same thing today. She just waved and smiled as I walked by and said hi to her smiling, and she quickly walked away. So... I was feeling a bit disappointed and frustrated for the rest of my work day. I went home feeling that way. I wanted to draw, but I thought that my feelings were just going to make me become impatient with myself again. Instead of giving up, I tried something different. I channeled my feelings into a quick little drawing of her (cut off at the bottom of the attached image). It doesn't quite look like her, but many of her features are there. After that, I was feeling better. I went on to draw a Stormtrooper from the Rogue One trailer, and right next to that I just drew this weird looking guy without a shirt out of the top of my head... I was thinking he was a fighter. After that I decided to go for a jog, which I was feeling really good about afterward. I was thinking on the way home that if I wasn't detoxing I'd be wasting away this beautiful sunny day on playing video games instead. The day felt longer, too. It's amazing how much time goes by when you're hooked on a game for hours and hours... Today felt like a triumph even though I experienced some rough feelings and urges to relapse. Instead I successfully channeled those urges into exercise and getting out of the house. Still, I am going strong even though i still have a ways to go.

Thanks a lot for your support, guys. Cam, thank you. I am certainly changing my music playlist, and I'm happy to report that my step-by-step progress today is a bit better than yesterday. Hey Cursive, thanks for your words, and welcome to the forum. And you're absolutely right that age is just a number. I did realize that there are people in many situations who are older/younger than me. There should not be some set comparison as to who is doing what with their life by a certain time, and yes, it's very depressing when we think like that just like how I was bringing myself down yesterday... Life just doesn't work that way. If it did, we wouldn't have anything that challenges us to better ourselves. I hope we'll both see to our goals in the future.

Welcome! Congrats on your 27-day (and growing) detox. Also, kudos on throwing away your Steam account. That's quite a big step.

Day 1 So here we go: Day 1 for my second attempt at detoxing. Hopefully for the last time I'll have to try, too. Today went alright. Started by going to work early in the morning, kept myself busy the whole time. Then I went home and decided to watch a movie just to relax. Afterward I tried to do some digital sketching, but I once again grew frustrated with the fact that I felt aimless and nothing was coming out the way I wanted to. I realized that I had been listening to hard rock/metal music while I was working, and I suspected that the music was affecting my mindset toward my work. Whenever this happens, I begin to think about negative things about my dreams to be an artist, and feelings of hopelessness filled me. The same roadblocks in my mind would revisit me: issues with my father's lack of support over the years which constantly demotivated me along with all of the time I feel like I've wasted gaming and procrastinating instead of practicing art. Now that I'm 27 and feeling like utter crap about myself, and I'm lacking in skill and discipline compared to those much younger than me who are very talented artists, I feel hopeless and like that of a failure. Typically I'd begin to game to numb the feelings and thoughts. Instead, since it has been a beautiful day here, I decided to go for a walk at the park. I felt a bit better, and I reassured myself that I am just having a tough time today. Today might not be very strong, but at least I'm sticking to this commitment, and tomorrow is another day. I guess that for today, trying to be optimistic about what I'm going through is the best way of ending strong. I'm just going to finish the night by relaxing, listening to music, and playing piano.

Hey everyone, I am a 27-year old game addict. Been playing games all of my life, and they have affected the most important aspects of my well-being. I have only started to take my gaming addiction into consideration after I graduated from college in the fall in Game Design. I realized upon graduation that I am nowhere near the person I wanted to be. I know that's normal in life, but... I had goals that I just never pursued because of so much time I've wasted out of insecurities. Gaming has been a massive part of my life. It has helped me through tough times during my parents' divorce and the drama that followed throughout the early years of my life, and it has inspired me to go to college and get my bachelors degree so that I would pursue a life of something I've been passionate about (I'm not a video game fan for just the gaming aspect, but because of the art, music, storytelling aspects of them which have inspired me). Without realizing the true extent of it, my gaming habit turned into a getaway from the real anxieties during my social years, and any potential friendship, relationship, and career connection I ever could have had became a lost opportunity. I've only been in a couple relationships, and being at my age at this point, I really wish I knew more about relationships than I do now. I long for someone special in my life, but I don't have the balance or the confidence to properly pursue and keep someone in my life while maintaining my own. While I have a bachelors degree and the ability to pursue my life in any direction I want to go, I have little confidence to do anything unless it feels like I HAVE to. Right now I'm working at a retail job that I hate on and off, and I'm not really doing anything that feels meaningful to me. I've always wanted to be an artist, but practicing art is VERY different from playing a video game for me. Being in that gaming mindset where it's so much easier to accomplish something within a short amount of time, I feel so frustrated and impatient with myself whenever I try to draw or digitally paint anything. 9 out of 10 times I fail to create anything that feels satisfying to me because I've grown so impatient out of the sense of instant gratification I get from gaming. After that, I'd give up and relapse into a mix of gaming and online pornography. This would extend into days or weeks at a time. Months and years later, well... here I am. Basically, I'm tired of feeling like someone who has little to no self-worth, I'm tired of having no experiences and confidence to do things I want to do, I'm tired of settling for bullshit, and I am willing to sacrifice the gaming aspect of my life to pursue something better- even if that means taking a chance at changing my career goals in the process. This is my second attempt to detox. My first attempt was in early January this year, but I only was able to stick to it for a couple of weeks. This time, all of my games are deleted and any game-related subscriptions I have are cancelled. The answer to anyone asking me if I want to play a game is a strict NO. I hope to know better now going forward, and I hope I can keep it this way for a long time- at least long enough for me to see better changes in my life. This is my first attempt to reach out to people and spill out my story on any forum, so... glad to be in this with all of you.