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Kam

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Posts posted by Kam

  1. Day 90! Feels great committing to something and then finishing it.

    I have to jump right into work this morning, I'd like to write my thoughts on the detox more in depth when I have time in the next few days. Plus, talk about my plans from here.

    Thanks to everyone for the support 🙂

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  2. Day 87. Last day of house work. It's the weekend. I'm absolutely exhausted. 3 more days until 90 days is done and I can give myself a big ol' pat on the back.

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  3. Day 86: same update! half of the work was done on monday and tuesday, the other half is being done tomorrow. so every night has just been busy moving things around to prep for all of it. no time to think about games but I don't think I would be thinking about them anyways.

    new book: red rising. great so far.

    4 more days until 90 day detox is complete

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  4. Welcome back to the forum! I agree with Yan. There's plenty of games that scratch the same itches that DOTA does. I remember when I quit Super Smash Bros and I ended up falling in the same trap with Rocket League. Lots of online competitive games that end up being massive time sinks and destroy your focus. So that's the main thing to watch for during your detox - something else taking the place of dota.

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  5. Day 83: house work is well underway and has taken up 90% of any free time I have. it'll be most of this week but by this weekend it should be wrapped up.

    7 more days! 💪

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  6. Hey Dean! Welcome to the forum, glad to have you here.

    It sounds like achievement / showing progress is important to you. It's one of the "needs" that gaming fills and is called out in Respawn, the guide attached to Game Quitters.

    The 90 day detox will force you to find hobbies to replace the needs that gaming filled. It's not just a mentally engaging activity that shows progress - there's also low-energy resting and social aspects of it too. Gaming fills a lot of needs, and you'll need a few hobbies to fill the void

    It's worth committing to a firm detox. I'm just shy of 90 days in and I'm now reading more books, more engaged and present in my relationship and with my kids, able to focus way better, and sleeping way better. 90 days is enough that you'll hit stressful moments in your life and be forced to deal with it without resorting to gaming as a crutch. After that, you can choose if you abstain longer or how to gradually reintroduce it into your life in a healthy way instead of as an escape.

    Best of luck, hope to see more journal entries from you,

    Kam

  7. 16 hours ago, Yan said:

    Both discipline and push away from the gaming world, and a pull towards some other direction in the form of long term goals.

    Such a great point here, Yan. I love the use of "push and pull". Pushing is hard, getting pulled feels a lot better. I remember days where I didn't think about gaming because I was so engrossed in a personal project. It's hard to come by those moments now, mainly because with young kids I'm exhausted by the end of the day and just want to relax, but it's still possible.

    I do need to set some new long term goals. I'm at the point I want to be in my life (great job, family, kids, etc.) but there's still more I can do to continuously improve. Especially with exercise!

    Day 79 looking good!

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  8. Day 78: I spent a lot of time yesterday writing about my view on negative habits and escapism. I've learned a lot from this detox... and I've learned that it's not just video games that can cause these types of issues. The obvious one is doom-scrolling on Tiktok or Reddit. Any kind of artificial dopamine hits for surface-level entertainment.

    You can't just think your way out of this problem. There is no way I would have gotten this level of understanding while still playing video games. I needed to detox to see what the real problems were. Avoidance and escapism are cemented at the top of the problems in my life. I've caught myself trying to engage in other bad habits that do the same thing. Now, I've learned (the hard way!) that the solution for avoidance and escapism is to address the root of the thing causing your stress head-on. You can solve any problem you face.

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  9. Day 76: Trip went well! No urges to play during it, which was great.

    Now it's time to prep for house construction work, so that will keep me busy.

    14 more days until the 90 days is complete!

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  10. Day 66/90: last night before my trip. It'll be over a week until I post again. The only thing I'll need to stay vigilant against is getting bored at night and downloading games on my phone - but I'm confident that I won't relapse, as I've never really played phone games (except for Chess) and I'll be exhausted from the day's activities.

    Good luck to all here on your own journeys!

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  11. Well of course, losing focus on the goal / getting complacent puts you at a higher risk of relapse. On the other hand, being confident and really seeing a vision for the end goal (like I described) is not losing focus or being complacent!

    Day 64/90 going well. Just got done with a run and a cold shower, feels fantastic

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  12. Quote

    You're not done until you're done. So we'll see about that

    Yan, you're quite the pessimist!

    Day 63/90 in the bag. Work, kids, and exercise account for probably 95% of my days recently. Staying busy but feels good.

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  13. Ha! I get your point, but I also don't think there's anything wrong with feeling gratitude about nice weather. I know from experience that the rainy days are important because they make the sunny days feel great. It's easy to overthink stuff like that, and might be important for someone who doesn't have a stable foundation, but for me, it's not really an issue.

    Thank you though!

    I'm on day 62! I have some vacation coming up, from this Saturday to next Sunday. That'll be Day 75 when I get back. After that, I have some house work being done that'll eat up the next two weeks, realistically. Which means that I think I'll be able to complete the detox and finish strong!

    Of course, Day 90/90 of the detox might be Day 1/? of the next goal 😄

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  14. Day 59: did a few miles on the treadmill yesterday! just walking during zoom meetings, or later that night I walked and watched a show on my iPad. felt so much better once I was done.

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  15. It's unrealistic to assume you're going to replace gaming with all productive habits. Slow and steady. You've identified gaming is a problem, and you started detoxing from it for a reason. But you still need habits that fill the needs that gaming once filled - reddit isn't the right choice, and there's definitely other types of hobbies that will let you relax, decompress, or even just straight up kill time and shut your brain off, without all the negatives that gaming brings.

    If you've broken the detox and come back to the forum, you should feel encouraged to try again! It's worth it. I would just really focus on other hobbies you can pick up. Cam talks about this in Respawn and on YouTube a lot!

  16. Thanks Yan! Yeah, I went on a long run yesterday to start re-committing to exercise, and I felt so much better last night. No gaming urges. It's 90% linked to stress for me, the detox has helped me realize it. Exercise helps melt that stress away.

    I think exercise is the right replacement activity that I need, I just have to build habits around it. Fortunately the weather is getting better where I live so it's easier to get outside and run.

    Day 57 in the bag so far. Feeling good. What's nice is that I have some vacation coming up, then going to be busy with some light house contracting work going on, so once I pass next Friday in the detox, it will basically finish out!

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  17. Thank you Yan! That helps a lot.

    Day 56: Last night, I came the closest to breaking the detox as I have been. The only thing that stopped me was that it was 11pm, I was tired, and all of my gaming stuff was packed away and all games were uninstalled. I knew that even if I did want to break the detox, I wouldn't be able to download the games I wanted to play in time. So, I left it alone and went to bed.

    I am recommitting to exercise as being the ultimate form of de-stressing and I am going to go all-in on building that habit. Rather than trying to keep finding other things that are lower barrier to entry but more fun. If I can build a strong gym habit, I think a lot of these problems I'm currently having will go away. Plus there's just so many other benefits to exercise.

  18. Day 55. 35 days til detox done. I am teetering real close to breaking the detox, to be honest.

    So, as an exercise, I'll write out how I expect things will play out if I break the detox:

    • I'll set a schedule and time commitments for gaming. I'll use timers to both set an end time, and to set regular breaks to stretch my legs. The benefit is that I have something fun to look forward to during the week, and I'll have a signal as to when things are going wrong (e.g. gaming on off days, gaming outside time commitments).
    • That schedule will go well for a month or two
    • I'll encounter stress in my life, e.g. work or family. I'll excuse myself to gaming on off-days to help "relieve stress".
    • I'll start to lose focus on other things. I'll think about gaming the majority of time. The quality of my work, relationships, etc. will all slowly deteriorate. I'll be less present in conversations.
    • I'll start to lose sleep. Poor sleep negatively impacts just about every area of my life.
    • I will teeter on this for a few months.
    • I'll hit some breaking point, where I am so exhausted and fed up with myself that I will declare "that's it! I cannot have a healthy relationship with gaming. I need to take a long break"
    • I will revisit this journal.

    I wish I knew the secret to just... stopping at the second bullet point. I am hopeful that a long detox will embed in my brain positive memories and habits that aren't gaming, so that I don't have to abstain fully from it but I don't rely on it either.

    I'm glad I wrote here - that's enough fuel for me to keep going on the detox.

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  19. Day 53. I'm having a really hard time staying disconnected to gaming news right now because one of my favorite series (Monster Hunter) just got a new game. The FOMO is real. But that game in particular is incredibly addicting for me and it's an endless gameplay loop. If I relapse and get it, I will get sucked back in badly. I'm not confident that I've figured out my triggers and how to effectively deal with stress without gaming.

    I'm glad this journal exists because if I weren't writing about this detox every day, I would have relapsed on this game launch. This journal is enough for me to stop, think, and recognize what an awful mistake getting that game would be.

    One day at a time!

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  20. Yeah, I couldn't access the forum ether.

    I just finished Project Hail Mary, and I've started Blood Meridian. Project Hail Mary is a fun, light-hearted read and is great for anyone interested in science. Blood Meridian is... grim. Same author who wrote No Country for Old Men.

    Day 51 is going okay. Because I'm over halfway, I catch myself rationalizing that it's okay to stop the detox at any point because I've made it really far. But then the smart part of my brain says "no, you committed to 90, do 90 and then decide". Just taking it day by day at this point

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  21. Day 50: woohoo, nice round number.

    I have a lot of friends now sparking up conversations about playing games together. It's going to be tough to make it 40 more days but I'm just deferring those conversations ("oh yeah that sounds great, it's real busy at work though! maybe when it slows down").

    Plus a lot of new game releases are nagging at me. Monster Hunter Wilds being the big one. Before the detox I would have 100% taken off work Friday to play it, then binged it all night. Now, I'll have a productive Friday, I'll sleep well that night, and I'll have a great Saturday with the kids. It's simply just a better life.

    Finished my last book and started reading a new one. It's a much more difficult read but because I've built the habit and I can focus much better, I'm already a decent way into it and love it.

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