[My Journey to Recovery]

May 28

It's been less than 24 hours since i last got caught gaming. In all honesty, I've lost count of how many times I've relapsed, lied about it, and later got caught. 

I started my journey on Respawn today mainly to stop this cycle. I finally acknowledged I had a deep rooted addiction that I didn't understand much less want to stop and I needed help to actually stop and not game ever again. I needed to stop wasting my potential and wasting my time, energy, and thought life on something that I had known for a very long time wasn't actually real. I had to face my negative emotions and past traumas I had sustained as a kid and get my life back on track. I admitted I had a problem and I needed help to get through this. 

Right now I feel scared of possible relapses. I feel sad and depressed and heavily worthless and anxious. I've not been truly free for so long that I almost have forgotten how it is like to actually be free and successful. Even more so, I have forgotten how it is like to dream and have real life goals and aspirations due to how long I have been living in the video game world. 

However, in spite of these feelings, I have one goal and one goal only: To get clean and stay clean and succeed in life in all areas I have neglected due to video game addiction. 

[Wanting to Have True Success in my Life]

Hello, everyone. This is Abby. 

After many years of quitting and relapsing,  I am wanting to finally quit and be free of gaming to allow me to have real success in my life. 

Right now, I want to do better in my life and not continue bringing shame and failure to myself.