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Posts posted by Havey
Short one again today. Losing a bit of momentum with this journalling. Have noticed my bad habits are creeping in again. Fortunately I have stuck with all of my good habits so far which I am happy with. But need to look as to why I've losing focus. It feels with technology there are so many ways to distract yourself and procrastinate its hard to keep tabs with it all.
In positive news I am happy with how my exercise is going... getting pretty fast now at running and also started a pull ups/push ups/abs regime.
Good habits - Weekday DD (9), Morning ritual (9), Reading (9), Exercise (9), Meditation (9), Italian lesson (9), Message a friend (9), To-Do list (9), Journal (9).
Evening everyone. I seemed to have slipped into bad technology habits again... I play xbox with friends but also end up mindlessly browsing on forums, youtube or just random media. It really has a negative effect on me and need to nip it in the bud.
I'm not quite sure how to deal with the bad habits I mentioned above but being conscious of it is a good start.
Fortunately I have stuck with all of my good habits!
Good habits - Weekday DD (8), Morning ritual (8), Reading (8), Exercise (8), Meditation (8), Italian lesson (8), Message a friend (8), To-Do list (8), Journal (8).On 5/10/2020 at 7:26 AM, Marek said:
I guess this comes down to every individual. Will you be able to play in moderation? Will you be able to play only with friends and enjoy it more as a social event than just waste time gaming on your own? For me, personally I have learned the hard way that moderation does not work for me at all. I did not have to get rid of any consoles, but I would probably try to do it. The hardest thing for me was to delete my LoL account, but it was the best decision I could have made. If I did not, there is a high chance I would be playing now during this lockdown. I was tempted several times and was close to consider it, especially in the beginning when friends asked me if I want to play with them. However, not having my old account helped tremendously to stay away.
I see. Well, in that case things will get brighter, they just need more time 🙂. Also good job on getting almost halfway to your 30 day goal!
Hi Marek sorry I completely forgot to reply to you yesterday. I'm also in the camp of moderation never normally works for me, but for this lockdown I currently feel that being able to connect with my real life friends is providing more positive than the games are negatives, as long as I am staying productive. Once the lockdown is over I will look to sell my xbox and work on the other two remaining bad habits. In the last few days I have noticed my tech habits worsening though so this is something under constant consideration...
Thanks for the reply and the encouragement, I appreciate it! 🙂
Man I am shattered today! Whenever I seem to play xbox with friends I struggle to fall asleep because my brain is too stimulated. As a result I'm pretty tired today, probably also because I ran a fast 5km so I'm ready for bed already lol.
I have some serious decisions to make regarding my bad habits. It seems I currently have 3:
1) Playing xbox with friends
3) Mindless browsing
I try to stay away from 2 and 3 but sometimes slip up, especially when tired. Xbox is a big one... I did stop for a week but felt pretty isolated with the virus situation so started up again and feel better to be connected. I do acknowledge that it is probably a rationalisation though and especially on the weekends can abuse that rule...
In good news I stuck to all my habits again, coming along nicely and its nice to get these done even on the bad days.
Sorry if this post doesn't read well I'm knackered! Hope everyone is well :)
Good habits - Weekday DD (7), Morning ritual (7), Reading (7), Exercise (7), Meditation (7), Italian lesson (7), Message a friend (7), To-Do list (7), Journal (7).
Hi guys. Generally good day again today. Starting it off really well with my morning ritual helps me feel great in the early hours. I had a games night with my friends last night which was fun however I did not drink which allowed me to get better sleep and feel better today which I am grateful for.
I do have some flat spots during the day in which my immediate instinct is to procrastinate. I also am avoiding some of the more important items on my to do list so something to keep monitoring. I feel much healthier and also happier which is awesome, and my habits are becoming more like clockwork the longer I stick to them. My initial goal will be 30 days so will be awesome if I can reach that.
I have a decision to make as to whether to keep my xbox to keep in touch with my friends or not. If I do keep it then when is it acceptable to play and when not etc. I would also enjoy being more productive with planning my future and some meaningful goals.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend 🙂
Good habits - 9pm DD (6), Morning ritual (6), Reading (6), Exercise (6), Meditation (6), Italian lesson (6), Message a friend (6), To-Do list (6), Journal (6).21 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:
To do lists are a good way to get things done. Welcome to the forums.
They are indeed! Thanks.1 hour ago, Marek said:
@Havey Good job on the progress! It is incredible how much our mood can be affected by weather. But this whole weekend should be lovely. A good To-Do list takes time to make and a lot of experimentation. One key advice I would recommend is to not overload it with too many things. Whenever I do that, I just tend to procrastinate the whole list, haha. On the topic of energy in the afternoon, how is your diet? I found that when I eat a lot of processed food and snacks, I tend to crash a lot throughout a day.
Totally, sunshine makes us all feel much better. Definitely agree with the not overloading advice hence why I'm not too stressed about the things I mentioned to work on, more so in the observing phase whilst I solidify the habits. Diet is actually pretty healthy, I don't really snack to much on sugary food and eat mostly wholesome plant based food. However, I was ill quite a lot in my past life so it is understandable that it would take awhile to turn around. But generally I feel great - moreso the mental swings that do me in! haha.
Short and sweet today. Had a nice bank holiday off - awesome weather and feeling good 🙂 Starting to get the hang of my morning routine and feeling the momentum of my habits. All habits done today. My To-Do list is the one that needs work. Currently I count it as done if I write a to do list (previously I didn't). Shortly that may have to change to having to complete the to do list or perhaps complete top 3 tasks etc. However I don't want to overstretch myself and I am happy with the progress I'm making so far.
Good habits - 9pm DD (5), Morning ritual (5), Learning (5), Exercise (5), Meditation (5), Italian lesson (5), Message a friend (5), To-Do list (5), Journal (5).14 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
I was reading about how that is caused by our circadian rhythm and if you take a 20 minute nap (just before you begin to dream) it improves your day and you will get mor energy by 3pm and it lasts all day. I've been doing it for a week now and it has worked a lot.14 hours ago, apatton090 said:
I also get tired around 2 or 3 pm... Come wake me up when "paid naptime" is a thing...
Haha yes boys I agree exactly. I do nap sometimes but I haven't got the immediately refreshing nap down to a T. Mostly I wake up a bit groggy still. But definitely something on my radar 🙂
Alright day today! Nice and sunny out which is good. Took a day off from exercising to let my body recover. I've got a few health issues which are bothering me a bit but trying not to get too stressed out by it. Will go to the doctors to get it checked if necessary. I take a lot of care with my health and its not something I take for granted so hopefully its nothing to worry about.
I am currently really productive in the morning however always by 2pmish I get quite tired and just want to chill. Currently my only focus is to keep doing my good habits and keep stacking up the improvements, however I know that I need to set some meaningful goals to work towards. Having specific goals/purposes has always been a weakness of mine so I have been kind of putting it to one side. At some point I will have to face this though and actually figure out a path to take.
Hope everyone is doing well in the lockdown. It can be tough.. remember to stay connected.
Good habits - 9pm DD (4), Morning ritual (4), Learning (4), Exercise (4), Meditation (4), Italian lesson (4), Message a friend (4), To-Do list (4), Journal (4).
Another good day today. The sun is back (wooo) and definitely feeling more productive in the mornings still. I have a few aches/pains in my body, I eat a predominantly vegan diet so hoping its not due to a deficiency of some kind. Probably due to over training more than anything else though!
Getting back into reading again slowly which is awesome. Currently reading Personal Development for Smart People - Steve Pavlina - great book so far. Could do better with my to do lists but other than that all habits going well 🙂
Good habits - 9pm DD (6), Morning ritual (6), Learning (6), Exercise (6), Meditation (6), Italian lesson (6), Message a friend (6), Write To-Do list (6), Journal (6).
Feeling better today! Man that stretch was difficult. Have a few ideas of the cause of that and thankfully managed to power through. I find it much more effective when I do my morning ritual when I first wake up rather than lying around being lazy. How you start the day is how you finish the day.
Not many thoughts other than that, just grateful to still be on the path and certainly brought about a more humble approach to my journey.
Good habits - 9pm DD (5), Morning ritual (5), Learning (5), Exercise (5), Meditation (5), Italian lesson (5), Message a friend (5), To-Do list (5), Journal (5).
I'm officially in a funk. Not sure why exactly, just feeling rubbish and everything is an effort. Just got to keep on going until this thing turns around. Hopefully I will get some clarity on the matter soon... I am eating well, sleeping, exercising. Got the fundamentals down pretty good but clearly something is missing. Anyway, still managed to do all of my good habits, hoping for betters days tomorrow 🙂
Good habits - 9pm DD (4), Morning ritual (4), Learning (4), Exercise (4), Meditation (4), Italian lesson (4), Message a friend (4), To-Do list (4), Journal (4).
I was in a bit of a funk today and I couldn't put my finger on it. I think a lot of it stems from the virus situation and feeling isolated. Thankfully I still managed to complete all of my good habits although I did spend a lot of time browsing youtube/forums for no real reason, basically just to distract myself from how I was feeling.
I'm sure its nothing a good night of sleep won't sort!
Good habits - 9pm DD (4), Morning ritual (4), Learning (4), Exercise (4), Meditation (4), Italian lesson (4), Message a friend (4), To-Do list (4), Journal (4).21 hours ago, Alexanderle said:
I am not sure, how old you are, but isn't it kind of normal to lose friends, not only due to getting older, maybe more mature? And also as result through distance? Like, I knew quite some people in my old university, but most of those friendships are gone. I have 3 good friends left. And isn't this more worth than a thousand shallow friendships? And right now, you are also going through some serious changes and are questioning certain things in your life. And you are asking about a purpose in your life etc. This will obviously change you. You are about to become a new person.
Yes I guess it is. But the feeling is more so from losing connection with my best friends, not just losing friends in general. But yes I agree, it seems my life is heading in a new unknown direction that is going to take me towards new friends and away from others. I guess I'm in a pondering phase of my life where I'm just trying to figure stuff out 🙂
What change do you feel made the biggest impact on your life? What advice would you give someone on finding their purpose/mission/ work calling?
Going to be a short one today chaps as I'm knackered. Last night was games & beers. Unfortunately whenever I drink I always get an awful night sleep which makes the next day really difficult. Thankfully I still managed to pull through with all of my good habits but will be getting an early night tonight to make up for it. I have however realised that drinking alcohol does not fit my current life plan and I will be stopping. When the lockdown is over and I go out with friends I may drink but certainly no more at home, it just costs me too much. Currently I am sticking with one games night a week for social reasons (friday - no DD) but will be looking at that too.
Last thing on my mind is my friends. I feel like I am losing a deep connection with most of my friends. I used to have many friends with best friends too. Now I feel like I just have friends. I'm not sure why, perhaps I need to put more effort in. One reason could be with the work I do on myself I notice bad influences around me a lot easier making me judgemental, perhaps I have too high standards and expectations on how people should behave. But certainly my social network has got worse, specifically when I met my SO and went from going out with mates a lot to a more mature lifestyle.
Anyway, hope everyone is well!
Good habits - 9pm DD (3), Morning ritual (3), Learning (3), Exercise (3), Meditation (3), Italian lesson (3), Message a friend (3), To-Do list (3), Journal (3).
Today was also a tricky one... finding the lockdown particularly tough being locked in a small flat, my SO is also, we are realising how important it is to each have space and time to themselves. On the plus side I managed to complete all of my good habits and my to do list. Currently having the feeling that all days kinda merge into one as they are all very similar. Will be very glad to have the lockdown finished but also see it as a good way to grow and test your discipline. Will also be glad when the sun comes back out as it definitely makes a difference to my mood.
Haven't really had anything on my mind today, just one of those days where you have to keep going. Games night & beers tonight with friends so the real test will be tomorrow as usually having a few beers impacts my sleep/hangover. Wishing you guys the best.
Good habits - 9pm DD (2), Morning ritual (2), Learning (2), Exercise (2), Meditation (2), Italian lesson (2), Message a friend (2), To-Do list (2), Journal (2).
Awesome job man - good luck! Remember there will be hard days and that is when you will have to show your true character & resolve.
Try and recognise any triggers you may have (stress, boredom, etc.) and pay close attention to yourself in those moments. Perhaps plan ahead what you could do instead if you find yourself having a funky day. Don't beat yourself up too much in your weak moments, no one is perfect!
Either way - I'm sure you will rock it 🙂
Man, today has been tough. One of those days where you don't sleep great, wake up in a funky mood and have some life stresses going on. Normally I would capitulate and just mong out for the day, rationalising my behaviour away with excuses. Thankfully, after some slip ups I have managed to catch myself and pull through. I have successfully completed all of my good habits, however I did also play some call of duty with my friends (approx 1hr).
Something that has been on my mind is whether to focus your willpower on starting new productive habits or stopping yourself doing bad habits. I have chosen the former, and have been focusing my willpower on the new with a background awareness of the bad habits I shouldn't do. As such I am not going to beat myself up about today and actually see it as a win - all habits done and a potential collapse saved. It is clear to me that this path will be full of pitfalls and detours. It would be silly to expect perfection. I am looking for progress - not perfection.
I will start counting the days of my good habits for extra accountability as follows:
Good habits - 9pm DD (1), Morning ritual (1), Learning (1), Exercise (1), Meditation (1), Italian lesson (1), Message a friend (1), To-Do list (1), Journal (1).
I have done some of these for longer but will start at 1 day to make it easy. I also do some other things like do 30sec cold shower after a warm one and stretch after my run, although I don't count these just do them as and when.46 minutes ago, 9k0 said:
Power to you brother! And good luck in reaching your goals!
I sort of found the middleground with some of my friends, and that is boardgames! It isn't as addictive as video games, and you can't really play most games singleplayer at home, therefore it isn't as accessible. And all my gamer friends enjoys the boardgames I've bought 🙂! But you gotto find out what works for you!
Thanks buddy! I agree - love some boardgames. Unfortunately with the lockdown situation that isn't going to be happy anytime soon. Really, the main reason I play is to socialise given the circumstances which makes it easier to accept for me. In the long run it will be something I look at but primarily my focus is on doing the good stuff. It's an interesting time for everyone!
Awesome day today. Getting back in the swing of things with my habits, running progressing nicely and no gaming etc.
I can see a general trend of myself becoming more productive and focused, although of course this isn't a straight line up and variations are to be expected. I find it quite hard to stay in contact with friends without gaming. I am a naturally independent person and I would have to push myself to message rather than actually enjoy it. I also worry that my friends are a bad influence on me. Not because they are bad people - but we are just on different paths sometimes (being comfortable vs bettering oneself).
One thing that had been on my mind is a quote from Michael Jordan (I've been watching the Last Dance recently on Netflix). That is "Quit once and it becomes a habit. Never quit" and also a quote from vince lombardi "Winners never quit and quitters never win". I have noticed a trend where some of my habits are negotiable (e.g. i'll run 5 miles instead of 7, I'll do that tomorrow instead etc.). From this point forward I am going to embrace an identity that doesn't quit and is a man of his word. Of course I don't expect to be perfect however I think its important to have a relationship with yourself where if you say you are going to do something you do it, and you do it to the best of your ability - whatever the task may be.20 hours ago, Marek said:
Can't agree with this more. Every single person is different. There are a lot of similarities, but there is no one you can truly compare yourself to besides yourself. One of my favorite quotes is, "Make today a tiny increment better than yesterday!" It is up to you to decide how much you improve on the day, but even by small steps day by day, you can see vast improvements. I am a huge believer in the idea that it is best to focus on things you enjoy, but you need to be aware that things will get hard at some point. What is wonderful about quitting video games is that after while you realize that there are so many exciting things out there that you might have ignored before when you prioritized time spend on gaming. @Havey
Yes completely agree that is how I view it. Just being honest - I think we all experience irrational envious thoughts now and then, particularly if your life isn't matching your blueprint, even if we realise the concept itself is stupid.
On 4/22/2020 at 6:29 PM, Julon said:
For me it is not that hard to stay away from games, because I would have to download the whole game and that takes forever. To stay away from reddit/youtube/other social media however is really hard. It‘s so easily accessible and once I click on one video, the next hours will also be spent watching useless stuff. Only a glimpse of a video title or post can cause, that I take really rash decisions. Often even rational thinking can‘t counter these thoughts/ decisions it‘s like my brain is in “addiction mode“ in one second.
I would love to just throw out every electronic device... but I have to use them all the time for school, especially during this pandemic. I also have to carry my phone with me most of the times so I am reachable.
Does anyone else have this problem and/ or can recommend steps I can take to resist urges? ( I have tried DF youtube, but it‘s so easy to turn off and it‘s only available on PC (my phone is a bigger problem for me))
I have the exact same issues. I use an app called stayfocused to put blocks on my phone and an app called cold turkey to put blocks on my laptop. The long term goal would be to not require these blocks however they definitely help in the short term.
1 minute ago, Alexanderle said:
I see you quite clearly. Let me share my belief with you: There is no designed purpose of something. I am quite convinced that the purpose of life is just to live! A tree does not decide to grow a certain amount of inches per year, because it dreams of being the biggest tree ever or to create the most awesome shadow out there. It just grows because it grows. We as humans are self conscious, which makes it a little more difficult. But that is also a chance: You can decide on your own, what your purpose in life is. You have the chance to decide every single day to make a decision that might change your future. Don't regret the past. You would not be the person right now, willing and ready to change the world and yourself without those things that shaped you.
And don't compare yourself to other people. Other people are not always honest. They might tell you, how happy they are, but they are also struggling with their own shit. Social media profiles are the best example of that. There is only one person to compare yourself with: You! You can be proud that you started this journey. You made the decision to be the captain of your own ship. Sure, you may be uncertain, in which direction your ship has to swim, but the more you focus on yourself and do things, which are good for you, the more clarity you will get. Half a year ago, I had no idea, which master track to take and which profession I would like to do. Now, with all the things, I accomplished, it is quite clear to me that I want to be a clinical psychologist. I am convinced that you will discover your purpose as well. Just stick to this journey. No need to see everything. Just one step after another. I am proud of you and your process!! 🙂
Thanks for the kind words my friend, I appreciate it. May I ask how you decided you wanted to become a clinical psychologist. Was it a lightbulb moment or something more gradual?
Productive day today, completed all of my habits. Mulling over some important questions in my life and what direction to head in. I feel like I can do great things in this world however I always manage to self-sabotage. As I get older I realise the only way I am going to accomplish anything is to get focused on what I want and work my ass off. I worry that my time is running out and one day I will wake up an old man having accomplished very little in my life. It's a scary thought as since I have been young I have always been ambitious with big dreams but as you age these fade with inaction. I realise must take a firm grasp on my life right now and stop thinking in the future my life is suddenly going to change or things will just work out.
Still a bit clueless as to what my purpose here on Earth actually is. Possibly thinking of start a self development youtube channel, for my own growth perhaps more-so than with any expectations, at least to begin with. I feel deep regret having spent 7 years now in a job I know isn't my passion. I see people I know now starting to earn more than me, rise higher than me, doing jobs they like more than I like mine. It's hard not to feel jealousy or envy sometimes. Not because I wish bad on others - I wish them all the success they deserve. More so because it points to my own inadequacies and failures.
I am generally really happy and grateful for the gift of life however am praying for some clarity just so I having a destination to work towards... I feel like that is why video games are appealing as the destination is already laid out... complete this quest, kill this bad guy, complete the game etc. In life these steps aren't clear and you almost have to design your own game. Unfortunately creativity has never been my strong suit, so its something i'm a bit clueless about if I'm honest...
Back on my video game weekday hiatus, feels good to be back on track. Had a sloppy weekend, its amazing to me how slipping up on one habit can lead others to fall. I think for me having a good sleeping routine is essential and something I will focus on. I have a few ideas on how to approach the coming weeks and how to be more productive. Most importantly I want to focus on some short and long term goals along with a big picture vision I want to get to.On 4/26/2020 at 6:34 PM, ceponatia said:
There's certainly a lot more time to fill now. I used to walk around the mall or bookstores before when I was bored but I can't do that at the moment. We all need some sort of "checked out" time to just relax. Lots of people read but I've discovered through this whole process that as much as I want to be the kind of person who reads a book every week, I actually hate reading more than almost anything. Lol.
Ha yes I agree. It's a challenging time. I've started watching Avatar - The Last Airbender on Netflix. Gives me some time to check out and to me at least is less addicting than gaming/the internet. Although no doubt in the long term I will look at that habit too. Trying not to be too hard on myself as changing one habit at a time is normally enough.
Been a tough one today not going to lie. Weekend feels so long with this lockdown in place. I can only do certain habits for X amount of time then I'm stuck with nothing to do and boredom is a key trigger for me at the moment. Played a few games today which I'm not over the moon about however not going to beat myself up.
Need to focus on sleep and not overtraining as general fatigue is a bad trigger too.
Still, there are many things in my life I am grateful for including how awesome the weather has been recently. I've packed my xbox away and don't plan on using it until next Friday at the earliest. I am also still trying to figure out best internet practices but moreso focusing on what habits to replace bad ones with rather than obsessing with stopping.
Had a fun night with my friends playing quiz/games. Lack of sleep and slight hangover left me a bit tired first thing though. Still managed all of my daily habits and have started a new course to keep me focused. Glad for the sunny weather and introduction of my morning ritual back. Feel like I am getting stronger running which is promising! Hopefully will achieve my 5k goal before you know it.
Still contemplating games/alcohol and what part they play in my life given the corona situation. Also ended up playing some xbox today so I can see how one habit falling leads to other negative consequences. Weekend is always going to be difficult though with less to keep me occupied.
Generally feel good and very grateful for my health and vitality. I feel optimistic about the future and need to remember to be kind to myself in any slip ups and keep focused on the end goal.
39 minutes ago, Julon said:
Cutting down my phone usage really leads to mood swings. Normally, in a bad mood I would just grab my phone and It would be over. But now in these bad moods It makes me realize how much time I have wasted in my live . I know looking forward and leaving the past behind is the better optioning, yet I can‘t stop thinking about it and making myself more depressed than I should. I have these down phases about 3 times a day, where I don‘t want to do anything but get rid of these thoughts by gaming. The rest of the day I used, to start to learn wheelies, do some home work and doing exercises to work on my bad posture. Didn‘t have a workout today though 😕 But after all the Day was pretty good though.
@BeautyInTheStruggle Thanks man, I really hope so.
No Gaming: 19 Days
No ( useless) browsing: 2 Days
Great work man keep at it. Be kind to yourself. Progress not perfection.
Pretty great day so far! Realised that I am missing my morning ritual and to do it whilst walking for 20 mins this morning was awesome. Weather being sunny definitely a bonus. Feel like my main vice at the moment would be mindlessly using technology rather than games per se.
Enjoying the act of journalling - first time I've really done anything like it. Thinking of going back to my roots and doing an old course I did a while back. Tonight is games night with friends which I am really looking forward to however need to be extra vigilant tomorrow. Did all of my daily habits again except did a core workout instead of running. Body was glad to have the rest think I was overtraining.
Need to focus a bit more during my meditation practice, my mind is often wandering without any attempts to reign it in. Happy overall though 🙂
in Daily Journals
Today I put the blocks back on my phone and laptop... I was just being too unproductive. Still decided on the xbox, happy to be still connected with my friends though. Thankfully still sticking with all of my good habits 🙂
Good habits - Weekday DD (10), Morning ritual (10), Reading (10), Exercise (10), Meditation (10), Italian lesson (10), Message a friend (10), To-Do list (10), Journal (10).
Yes agreed! Turning notifications off definitely helps.