Julon

Day 21 Realized how important sport is to me, it can get me out of any bad mood.After I did a 20 minute cardio session I was full of motivation for the Day. I learned for school and spent much time outside. Unfortunately I grabbed my phone in the evening and wasted 2 hours on the Internet. Felt really bad afterwards, but eve nings are unquestionably the toughest part of the day. Streaks: No gaming: 21 Days No (useless) browsing: 0 Days

Day 20 Today I started my day with a 2 1/2 h workout and then went cycling. I‘m working really much on my physical health now. I also started counting my calories again and focus on good nutrition. Didn‘t do any other productive things though... should‘ve learned more. Streaks No gaming: 20 Days No (useless) browsing: 3 Days

Day 19 Cutting down my phone usage really leads to mood swings. Normally, in a bad mood I would just grab my phone and It would be over. But now in these bad moods It makes me realize how much time I have wasted in my live . I know looking forward and leaving the past behind is the better optioning, yet I can‘t stop thinking about it and making myself more depressed than I should. I have these down phases about 3 times a day, where I don‘t want to do anything but get rid of these thoughts by gaming. The rest of the day I used, to start to learn wheelies, do some home work and doing exercises to work on my bad posture. Didn‘t have a workout today though :/ But after all the Day was pretty good though. @BeautyInTheStruggle Thanks man, I really hope so. Streaks No Gaming: 19 Days No ( useless) browsing: 2 Days

Day 18 Avoided my phone for pretty much the whole day and did all I could, so I don‘t sit bored in my room. I woke um at 8 am due to my online class, so I was already productive in the morning. I fixed the tire of my bike and went cycling. I think tomorrow I will start to learn how to wheelie and other tricks. Streaks No gaming: 18 Days No (useless) browsing: 1 Day

Totally agree @Havey I have found my self numerous times full of motivation to learn a skill and I consumed every video on how to do it.... But in the end I only knew every theoretical aspekt but i couldn‘t do it myself, because I haven‘t tried.

Pretty much every video I have no direct benefit from. I actually saw a video in which someone explained, that many youtube videos just make you feel smarter but in the end it‘s just entertainment. By reading a book you have to be really engaged and you are also able to make connections way easier. But anyways I will propably call it useless browsing from now on, because reddit and other social media is also way to distracting and there is no benefit.

Day 17 Watched about 2h of youtube and after that I started learning for also about 2h. Then went outside for a bit and enjoyed the sun. I avoided watching too much TV and had another workout instead. Streaks No gaming: 17 Days No (useless) videos:0 Days

For me it is not that hard to stay away from games, because I would have to download the whole game and that takes forever. To stay away from reddit/youtube/other social media however is really hard. It‘s so easily accessible and once I click on one video, the next hours will also be spent watching useless stuff. Only a glimpse of a video title or post can cause, that I take really rash decisions. Often even rational thinking can‘t counter these thoughts/ decisions it‘s like my brain is in “addiction mode“ in one second. I would love to just throw out every electronic device... but I have to use them all the time for school, especially during this pandemic. I also have to carry my phone with me most of the times so I am reachable. Does anyone else have this problem and/ or can recommend steps I can take to resist urges? ( I have tried DF youtube, but it‘s so easy to turn off and it‘s only available on PC (my phone is a bigger problem for me))

Day 16 I feel really down at the moment. Motivation isn‘t there and I‘m too much on my phone. Didn‘t do anything productive today, was just laying around the whole day being lazy af. And every time I‘m not distracted I get cravings for games ( luckily I deleted all of my accounts, otherwise I would start gaming again tbh.) Would be much easier if I didn’t have to learn for school, the cravings almost always come while learning (trying to learn fits better most of the times).

Day 14/15 Last two days I spent most of the time reading. I went outside to do that, to get away from my phone as far as possible. Yesterday I also tried jogging, but I felt pain in my legs so I‘m going to stick to my workout I do 3 times a week. Maybe cycling is also a good alternative for cardio. Still have to work on my productivity though. Learning during this pandemic is really not the easiest thing.

Day 13 Stayed inside for most if the Day. I did a good workout in the morning and then I was really tired. The only other “productive“ thing I did, was reading about 150 Pages in my book. I‘m still struggling to do really productive stuff like learning for school, I usually get soo distracted by other thoughts and tired when I try to start.

Day 12 Did not went that well today. A friend of mine invited me to watch a series together. didn‘t do many productive things today then... I only read a bit and cooked a risotto for my family. Gonna go early to bed today to start off tomorrow a bit better.

Day 11 Feeling good today. Much more rewarding in the evening, when you actually were productive. I learned for school for almost 4 hours and avoided my phone as much as i could. In the evening I had a workout and then finished my day off with one episode of a series. Even though I avoid my phone as much as i can, i still feel I’m using it too much for entertainment. So now I ordered a few books, to prevent me from that.

Day 10 It took me a long time to see the progress that I really made, even though I still relapse sometimes, it usually takes me about 4 days to quit again. A year ago it took me about 2 months to even realize that this is a problem and I need to quit. Now I instantly feel guilty when I touch a game/ watch videos. Today I watched some videos in the morning and that bad feeling made it easier to stop for me. Didn‘t do that much today though, except some learning for school. I usually forget the productive things I wanted to do, so I’m now making a checklist for each day( on paper, to avoid my phone.).

Day 9 Today was better, I started my day off with a workout and then went outside and listened to some music. Also reduced the time I was on my phone by alot. In the evening I learned a bit of math. But I went to bed pretty late. That’s something I really wanna change now. Going to bed late, can really make you feel miserable the next day, so the start is already ruined. @Alexanderle That is true, it‘s definitely better than normal, but there is still room to improve.

The last two days where not that successful. Day 7 yesterday I didn‘t do much except going outside for a bit. In the evening couldn‘t resist to watch a good amount of youtube videos though :/ Day 8 Today i wanted to start off with a workout, but i was simply too lazy, the only thing i did, was finish my book and later cook for a bit. But also wasted a good amount of time in the evening watching TV.

Day 6 Today was great. Directly after breakfast I did a 1 1/2 h workout, that gave me much more motivation for the day. Went outside For almost the whole day and read half a book. Should of learned a bit more though, but I‘ll keep that for tomorrow I guess.

Day 5 I can already feel the addiction slowly creeping up on me. My productivity is really going down. Did watch yt for a short period time again in the evening, but then switched to one episode of a series, series and movies are somehow less addicting to me, it‘s not that hard to stop. But what really annoys me at the momment, is waking up late. My alarm clock is set to 8 am but I simply can‘t wake up that early if there is no appointment for me or something like that. A good start in the day would really help. But I‘m always too tired.

Day 4 Not a good or a bad day.I learned math for about 3 hours, but I could‘t keep myself from watching 1h of youtube afterwards. But since I was able to stop myself I‘m not going to start from day 1 again... In the evening I had a 1 1/2 hour workout at home ( Getting motivation is actually kind of hard when you are not in the gym). I still have many urges to play, especially in the evening, hopefully these cravings disappear soon. @Alexanderle You are good at writing, For me it‘s really not that easy to express my feelings/ thoughts through text. Anyways, I‘m actually exactly aiming for, what you have described. I want to use all this free time to improve myself, maybe not socially, but in all other sorts of aspects.Usually the slightest bit of stress in my life brings me back to my old habbit of gaming / browsing to escape from any responsabilities . So now that I don‘t have anything to do, it‘s the perfect time to take action right now and I have no reason to procrastinate. I try as many things as possible, and maybe I‘ll find the right thing for me.

Well, I‘m missing social contacts. It is hard to find the right friends, when you are known for nothing / have nothing to talk about. The last 6 years are like a black hole, I have no special memories, the only memory I have, is me sitting in my dark room the whole day. I would love to be passionate about more hobbies and skills but gaming is pretty much the only skill/ hobby I have/had. For me It is about finding a new Purpose in my life.

Day 3 Today I realized how important it is, to avoid using my phone in the morning. It was easier to concentrate when learning, even though I only learned math for about 1 hour. But atleast I started with learning how to code - which is actually not as boring as I thought it would be. The rest of the day I pretty much only spend outside, to avoid beeing around my phone/ pc too much. @Alexanderle I‘m learning html for no specific reason.but just as you said exploring is key... I mean pretty much anything is more useful than gaming. Working out is also a huge hobby for me - problem is, that i can‘t just do it all the time. So in the time where i have nothing to do i usually come back to games. So now finding a lot of alternatives is my goal right now.

Day 2 Today was pretty boring. One day in and I already notice a huge decline in motivation again. In the morning my motivation was pretty high - one hour of learning mathematics quickly changed that though. The urge to fall back into my own habit was strong, especially when learning by watching math youtube videos. But I decided to now start learning either html or python to fill more of my time, because it can be really frustrating at the end of the day, realizing that you have done literally nothing for 12 hours. Altlast I avoided gaming and useless browsing today - so today was better than usual. @Alexanderle thanks for your comment, for me though it has come to the point where relapses are not a part of the process anymore. They are just huge setbacks for me. It has been the same pattern for about 1 year and not much has changed for me. The maximum for me was quitting games for 30 days - but i couldn‘t fill my time with productive stuff due to lack of motivation and i was still browsing in the internet. Having a number though, for days where i really avoided gaming and especially useless web browsing sort of gives me a tiny bit of motivation.

Well... I really suck at this. Never thought that writing a simple journal would be this hard. I once again found myself relapsing again, pretty much watched 10h of youtube and played a lot of dumb mobile games all day for the last 3 days. It is almost always the same pattern when I relapse. At first I‘m game-free and really motivated for about 2 days. Then it feels like I have used all my energy and I have no motivation at all. I end up staring at a wall for half a day and then watch a youtube video. Well and then i can‘t stop watching and the next three days consist of excessive watching youtube / gaming until I feel like complete shit and I decide to change again. So everything repeats itself at this point. The covid-19 pandemic doesn‘t really make this easier too. In the future I want to continue this journal and be honest even when I feel completly wasted. So today is going to be Day 1 and I hope this time it’s really the last time I’ll have to write Day 1. My plans for the day are: -Working out ( The only thing that gives me motivation right now - I can really recommend trying out the workout plan from athlean-X during this pandemic to stay fit) -Study economics / math -Go outside for atleast 1h.

Day 13-20 I‘m back. Didn‘t continue my journal the last week because of carnival. Even though it didn‘t go as planned, because the first 3 days i missed some opportunities to go out, I forced myself to go out the last 2 days, and it was great. I‘m a master at making excuses and overdramatizing stupid thoughts. The last days I just said to my self „fuck it, what can go wrong?“. Had some good times and socialized a lot(with alcohol though, but everyone gets drunk on carnival). I also didn‘t touch a game and stayed true to my plan of eating healthy 4000 calories a day to build up muscle. It sucks that I was to lazy to learn for school and watched useless content to distract myself from boredom - going outside would have been a better option. Going to change these two things today. Current Streaks No gaming: 20 Days No(useless) browsing: 1 day Nofap: 30Days

Day 10/11/12 Well I‘m coming back to the forum because I have a really strong urge to play games right now. I currently have to learn for school but I do everything to distract myself. Yesterday I even watched about 8 hours of youtube just because I didn‘t want to learn. When I have stress I usually fall back in to the old habit and that really sucks. Yesterday I started making excuses and I was about to buy a singleplayergame because I told myself that singleplayer games wont get me hooked and I will just play 1 hour a day (I know this isn‘t true). Well I even made a new steam account for that purpose, I guess i‘ll go and delete it again. Now I will go to the gym hopefully that will free my head a little. Current Streaks No gaming: 12Days No(useless) browsing: 0 Days Nofap: 22Days