...And hopefully the start of a more happier life.
My name is Jens, i'm 20 years old, from The Netherlands and addicted to videogames (very surprising, i know ?).
I haven't really thought about how I wanted to write my experience on this addiction, my problems and my life in general but i'm just going to start typing and i'll see where this thing goes. I just want to get it out here because I never spoke to anyone about it really.
At this point in life I feel like i'm a complete loser. School is a disaster, I haven't finished any exams or made any progress since I started (roughly 4 years ago). I have no friends anymore, never had a relationship, no hobby's.. just no occupation besides games. I feel and look like shit and i'm a dissapointment to my parents, who always loved me and supported me all these years, financially and emotionally in the hope i'll figure myself out and find something I enjoy to pursue in to a career in the future.
But no, I just don't. I've tried to quit these last few years, or atleast to better myself but I just keep coming back out of boredom, frustration or just giving up and i'm done with it. I hate it, everything about this life, i hate looking in the mirror or to see myself on photos or put myself in social situations because i hate who I have become.. this sad, lonely and pathetic person that has no qualities, ambition or or does anything interesting in life.
I did enjoy games a long time ago when I was a kid, some where magical, challenging or just alot of fun. Those feelings, that nostalgia... it's like some high you try to pursue in the hope that you feel what you once felt playing games so many years ago. But that feeling is gone. Everytime i start up a game now and play there is this uncomfortable feeling, like a sign that your doing something wrong, and you know that feeling is you realising that youre wasting your time and you could be doing something productive but ofcourse you ignore it and keep playing.. and playing.. untill the day comes to and end and you did nothing productive and you feel like shit. Rinse and repeat.
I know alot if people here ofcourse have problems regarding gaming and relationships and their mental and physical well being and I know i'm not in the worst situation. Im young, still have a life ahead of me and alot of opportunities. It's mainly the reason im quitting videogames, I don't want to feel like a loser in life anymore, I don't want to feel like im wasting my time anymore.
I am going to sell my consoles, my PC, my monitor and my games, everything. So if I even have a strong craving there is no easy opportunity to just start up my ps4 or my PC again and relapse.
Thanks for everyone reading this post ?
This is day 1. I'll give an update in about a few weeks or after 1 month. For everyone struggling with this addiction aswell, good luck! I wish you the best.