NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
wookieshark88
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Posts posted by wookieshark88
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The good times have lasted through the transition back into the work week. In the past, transitions would often spell the end of good habits, but not anymore. I just remember that all day long I have easy choices to make that continue having the slight edge work in my favor. Before work, I kept up my good morning routine which is actually getting easier. I'm not struggling with mornings nearly as much as I used to. At work I was able to learn a bit more about my job and make good progress on my tasks. I kept taking the long way back to my desk while speed walking. People think look at me like I'm busy or important because I walk everywhere with a purpose. Really though, I'm just trying to learn my job and not screw it up, haha. Baby time in the evening was a success. She even took a nap, and I made sure to get as much cleaning done as I could before she woke up. She'll be asleep in a few minutes, and the wife and I will enjoy our evening time together! I'm feeling very powerful and confident lately.
I'm thankful for:
- Reaching a new low in my weight loss! I'm now down 10 pounds with 25 to go.
- Getting a couple of lingering items off my to do list. It feels good, but there's a few more tough items to get through.
- Learning to be mindful of the present moment.
- Having positivity be a dominant mindset instead of pessimism.
- The Slight Edge book. It pumps me up and gives me the right outlet to direct my energy.
- My old work friends invited me to a social outing on Saturday! I love those guys!
- I was able to handle the cranky times with my baby like a champ today!
- Another old friend told me about some architecture work I might be able to help with. I've never done work in my dream field before!
- My wife and baby bring me endless joy! I'm constantly laughing because of them.
- I have a few people who mentor me at work! A lot of people aren't that kind.
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Daring Greatly it is!
Today was great! I was able to get a lot of cleaning done, celebrate my wife's birthday with her and her family, batch cook lunches for the week, play with the baby, continue my good habits, and have fun! I'm certainly beat after such a busy day, but it's a very satisfying tired. It's amazing how much I can do with the proper foundation.
I didn't really have the smoothest family life when I was a kid. When things were rough, I would often imagine the family life of my dreams. Now that have my own family, I know I have the opportunity to make that happen. Since quitting the games and starting to build myself up, I feel like I'm becoming the best father I can be. I feel so hopeful that my baby will have the family of my dreams.
I'm thankful for:
- An absolutely delicious lunch.
- Being able to clear out some clutter from the house.
- Peace of mind.
- Hope for the future.
- A great night's sleep last night.
- Laughing so hard that my stomach ached.
- Getting my cooking done.
- My wife getting all the groceries.
- Having an excellent weekend.
- Play time with my baby.
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Looks like you're kicking butt! Thanks for sharing your inspiring progress!
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Would you recommend Resilience for my next book? I want to have something lined up and ready to go.
I'm finding that carefully managing my habits to ensure that I really enjoy them is key. I don't go all out at once like I used to. Doing that just makes me feel pressure and takes the joy out of it. I just try to do a tiny bit of something good and reflect on how much I liked doing it. By doing that, I always end up doing more because I have fun doing it. If I just do the bare minimum goal, I am still building my habit and I don't feel overwhelmed at all. For example, I set the goal of walking 15 minutes a day, but in reality I averaged about 50 minutes a day because I feel so pumped up when I meet my goal that I just want to go further. My reading goal is 10 minutes a day, but I just read whenever I have down time. I should probably set an upper limit on reading instead of a minimum, haha. Reading has never kept me from doing other important things at any time or made me ignore my responsibilities so I won't do that just yet.
Today was a lovely day. I love it when I can spend all day with my wife and child. We went out to a farm where we walked through huge sunflower fields. The sunflowers were about 7 feet tall. It was quite the relaxing experience to be surrounded by them. We both got quite a bit of cleaning done too which is really hard to do with a baby in the house. My daughter peed on me too so it's off to the shower after this entry.
I'm thankful for:
- Fields of sunflowers.
- A squeaky clean car and garage.
- Many baby smiles.
- Being under my calorie limit for the day.
- My legs are getting stronger from all the walking.
- My home made guacamole.
- My growing slight edge momentum.
- Being able to trim my baby's finger and toe nails (this is a real challenge).
- My lack of anxiety.
- Learning about the power of making these lists (and they're fun).
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This Friday has been completely different from last Friday. My baby has been crying very little all week, and that has a lot to do with it. Also, I can feel my progress accelerating as I apply the slight edge principles. I have to remember, it's easy to make the tiny right decisions, and it's easy to make the tiny wrong decisions. When I think about the power of doing tiny things right, I feel very motivated to do them. Why not do them? It's easy! If I print something at work, I walk the long way back to my desk. If I do this 10 times, I just walked 30 minutes! Why not walk up the stairs instead of take the elevator? Should I meditate? It's a reason to sit still and feel good! It's a simple thing, and it makes a difference! I'm finding that I constantly have these simple little choices to make, and consistently picking the better option is powerful!
These choices make me feel good and happy and, as I read, happiness is the key to success. The ripple effect is also real! My wife has noticed my improvements and has been encouraged to pursue her goals too!
I'm really getting addicted to these books. They're so interesting, and they're helping me learn how to live the life I want to live.
I am thankful for:
- I bought garlic scapes at the farmer's market today! They're one of my favorite things to cook with!
- I bought yellow carrots there too! They have such a vibrant taste and can't wait to cook with them!
- The tomatillos were super cheap so I got a bunch! I'm going to make some healthy and delicious green salsa with them!
- I ate the tastiest fish taco I ever had at the farmer's market!
- I fucking love the farmer's market!
- My baby has been doing a lot of crunches. She's working on sitting up!
- The website www.myfitnesspal.com has made food journaling actually fun. I didn't even think that was possible.
- I'm becoming the kind of dad my baby deserves.
- The weather has been absolutely perfect for the last two days.
- My legs are getting stronger from all of my walking slight edge choices. Running is in my near future!
I'm exhausted so I'm going to read The Slight Edge until I fall asleep.
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Congratulations on one month! I'm at 22 days myself and am looking forward to reaching one month myself! What have you done differently in your life that helped you reach this milestone?
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I have to say that I'm really starting to feel the momentum building by making those slight edge decisions. I'm rolling along today like the last few days. Speaking of rolling, my daughter rolled over for the first time ever! I'm so freaking proud! I always thought that parents who made such a big deal about things like that were idiots, but now it's me. I just need to keep doing the little things right and enjoy the ride.
I really want to be going full steam ahead with good habits into the school year. Those 12 and 14 hour days are going to be rough. It's so important to me to take one class this semester and do well at it. With the job and kid, it won't be easy. I want to prove to myself that I can do this, and keep my habits up through the whole semester. I had some good habits going before I started taking classes again a few years ago and those habits died. This time has to be different. I've got more tools at my disposal this time around and no video games to anchor me down. Hopefully these advantages will outweigh the challenges added by parenthood.
It's time to write down a thankfulness list, get my baby bathed, and be ready for the wife to be home!
- My baby can roll!!!
- My wife told me about it immediately! She's such a good communicator.
- I talked to my parents today and had pleasant conversation.
- At work, I toured our manufacturing facility which is 45 minutes away from my office.
- I got some serious walking in again today.
- The scale showed me a new record low since I started my fitness habits.
- The weather was perfect today.
- I'm learning to be more positive.
- My grandma remembered I have a baby (she has Alzheimer's).
- My cats are behaving.
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Three day awesome streak! The Slight Edge is a great read so far. I find myself looking for little things to do during the day that give me the slight edge. At work I've been going up a flight of stairs, walking across my building, down the far set of stairs and back across to my desk when I print things, get water, or go to the bathroom. I've timed is as a three minute walk to do this. When I do it 10 times during the day, I just got a half hour of walking in which is double my original goal! During lunch break, I read the book which is 30 minutes long. I log all my food and exercise as it happens throughout the day too. This sounds like a ton of unproductive time at work, but it's not noticeable to anybody but me, and I always get my work done. That's three important habits I'm getting down without taking any extra time out of my day. Meditation is 15 minutes before work and journaling and commenting here is about 25 minutes after work. It blows my mind how much 40 minutes is impacting my life for the better. With video games, it seemed like every peek at the clock showed that 40 minutes had passed.
I'm excited right now and I'm doing great. I've been excited and done well for stretches in the past, but I intend to make a permanent shift this time. When I feel my motivation waning, I'm going to visit this site and just read the posts. I really find them to be re energizing. I haven't forgotten that I started this journey knowing that I could not accomplish my goals without a community of people who understand the difficulties. I can't ever forget that.
I'm thankful for:
- Being able to walk 75 minutes today!
- Having awesome play time with my baby!
- The excitedness I'm feeling
- My morning meditation
- My hugely reduced anxiety
- My new habits
- The smoothie my wife made for me to bring to work
- My job
- Baby smiles
- My shower today feeling extra refreshing
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I've been at the top of the world for two consecutive work days! I meditated, read, exercised, and food journaled today. This post completes my important habits of the day (journaling).
As I've been reading the Slight Edge, it all seems vaguely familiar to me. I think I might have read it about 10 years ago. I probably wasn't every receptive to this kind of book back then, but these days I'm all about it. Sometimes when I'm halfway through watching a movie, I realize that I've seen it before and remember the ending. I think this is going to happen to me with the book. Either way, I was always a believer in what I've read so far. The smallest of prudent actions will snowball into huge success. This is why habits are so important.
I left my university, home, and state at the age of 19 years old after three semesters. I was getting decent grades, but I just wasn't really happy with any aspect of my life. I didn't join the military, but I got a job with the company I'm in now. For years it's been my goal to get my degree while keeping my job. At first, the thought of getting my degree seemed so impossible and depressing because I knew it would take a long time. It just felt hopeless. As I started taking classes, I learned how vital it is to enjoy the process of going to school and not worry about finishing. This mentality completely changed my relationship with school. I admitted that I was unhappy with my major and switched to architecture because I knew it was better to take a step backwards and enjoy the process rather than slog through miserably and fail. My new philosophy of enjoying school has gotten me farther than I would have ever gotten otherwise. Even if I stuck out my original major and "succeeded", I would have a degree in something I didn't want to do anyways. That certainly wouldn't be an ideal scenario. I didn't let the fear of delaying graduation deter me from pursuing a passion, and I'm so happy I did that.
Time to list what I'm thankful for:
- I'm thankful I was able to wake my wife up in the morning with a hot cup of her favorite coffee. Her smile was awesome.
- I'm thankful that I had a wonderful evening with my child. It was one of the best ones in days.
- I'm thankful that I have an opportunity to get involved in a few projects at work. It's nice to start feeling useful in my new job.
- I'm thankful that my coworker showed me a great food journaling site.
- I'm thankful that this community is helping me maintain good habits for longer than I could by myself.
- I'm thankful that my morning meditation felt more powerful than it usually does.
- I'm thankful that my mother in law provides us with babysitting. She's amazing for doing that.
- I'm thankful that the books I've been reading have had a positive impact on me.
- I'm thankful to my mom for helping me plan a trip to visit my family.
- I'm thankful for the unpredictability of life. I find that surprises in life, the good and bad together, make life better than knowing how everything is going to turn out.
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Today was a success! I started walking at work. I've been going up and down the stairwells and taking the long way to get anywhere. It's such an easy way to get a good habit started without using my scarce down time at home. One of my coworkers showed me a great website for food journaling too. I'm going to focus on establishing these two good habits while maintaining the ones I already have going.
Home time with my baby was much more peaceful than any day from last week! That helps a ton.
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I just finished reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg! It was a great read that explains how habits work, how carefully crafted habits can transform your life, and now to create those habits.
Next up for me is Slight Edge because I've seen it mentioned a few times in this thread.
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I am thankful for:
- My wonderful weekend
- My new job which is definitely better than my last job
- The wife's French press
- My meditation
- Reconnecting with an old friend
- Being able to accomplish a lot this weekend
- My wonderful family
- My new exercise routine
- My pets
- My progress
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As a matter of fact, my daily exercise was a walk with my family! I love walking and talking with people. I always find that the quality of conversation is always great when I walk with people.
Your trip sounds like a dream trip. I've only ventured out of the USA once in my life, and that was for my honeymoon last year. I was a little nervous to leave the country, but it was such an awesome experience! I want to do it again in a few years.
I'll have to check out that link when I have a spare moment. I've become more open minded about trying different things since I joined this site. It's probably because of all the positive discoveries I've had trying new things. This site, headspace, and the book I'm reading have been great additions to my daily routine.
I'm having another evening where I feel like a billionaire. My baby tried her first solid food today! She just let it drool out of her mouth, but she didn't grimace when we gave it to her. That means that she's ready to start eating solid food, but she wasn't that hungry at the moment.
I saw an old friend today, and we're going to hang out soon! This is really good for me because I don't really hang out with many of my pre-fatherhood friends these days. I just don't really have the urge to hang out late at bars or party hard these days. Being home with my family is so much more awesome than that. I need to make more parenthood compatible friends.
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I am thankful for:
- The beautiful smiles my daughter gave me this morning
- The delicious coffee I drank
- My ridiculous pets
- My morning meditation
- My understanding wife
- The great day I had yesterday
- The progress I've made since quitting
- This site
- My goals for the day
- The positive mindset that I've gotten from writing this out
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It's awesome that you took the time to post here.
I don't know if it would be possible for you, but try to get into weekly therapy sessions.
After three visits with a therapist, evaluate whether or not you are able to talk freely with that person without being judged.
You don't necessarily have to feel like you're making significant progress after three visits, but you should feel like you're able to speak and listen naturally and always leave with food for thought.
If you don't have this kind of connection, do yourself a favor and find a new one if you can.
I'm speaking from experience as I have been through a few therapists before finding one that work well with me.
Once I found a therapist I was compatible with, I was able to comfortably talk about my life and feel understood.
My therapist was able to help me find new ways to think about aspects of my life and find ways to improve my mental health.
Good luck!
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Thanks, as always, for the kind words. I'll definitely make a gratitude post in the mornings!
Today has been an excellent day. When the wife and I spend the day together, we're always both so energized. I think my little girl senses it too. We all had fun! I gave my wife her birthday gifts today because we'll both be busy on her birthday. I got her a high end French press and some fancy coffee to go along with it. It's so funny that coffee kept coming up in your post because it was a big part of making today awesome. I had never had coffee from a French press before today and it was awesome! Today was just a nice day of leisurely catching up on chores, playing with our baby, and cooking fun stuff for lunch and dinner. It was exactly the kind of day that I needed after the grinding week. The best part of the day was in the morning when I came downstairs in the morning. I was the last one up (the wife was so kind to just let me sleep after the week I had). When I came into the living room, she and my daughter gave me the biggest smiles! I was able to play and just enjoy the time with them. I felt like a billionaire! I'm back on top of the world after 24 hours, haha. Such is the life of being a dad.
Shortly after my post yesterday, I tried the SOS meditation session on headspace. It really did help a lot.
I figure I should write a bit about my state of affairs as far as my video game quitting is going. It's been over two weeks since I played, and it hasn't been too hard yet. I've gone about a month without playing before so we'll see if it keeps going smoothly. I've picked up some really good habits since I joined the forum. I journal, meditate, read, and try to be supportive of others as they quit. My anxiety has been getting better, and my attention span has been increasing. I feel more engaged in the world around me. I've been working on maintaining my four good habits, and have found success so far.
Adding more habits is something that I've purposefully avoided so far because I wanted to really focus on the main four, but I think it's time that I add some light physical exercise to my routine. Most of my life, I've gotten good exercise, but that habit has faded since I've been taking classes. I was running six miles every couple of days. Once I was in school again, I just plainly didn't have the time to do that so I ended up not exercising at all. If I can make a habit of doing 15 minutes of exercise a day, I think I'll feel much better. Alternating treadmill days and yoga days should work well for me.
I broke my leg playing hockey years ago before I had began my active fight against anxiety and depression. I was in peak physical shape at that point, and being active was a very important part of my life. I sunk into a deep depression which really wasn't too uncommon for me to do those days. To help pull out of that depression, I told myself that I would heal up and run a marathon. After I healed and went through rehab, I began to run. Unfortunately, my leg has given me difficulties that I never had before my injury, and I still haven't run a marathon. The most I've done is six miles. If I can just accomplish the small victory of exercising every day for 15 minutes, I'm sure I can eventually run my marathon. Of course the time restraints that come from school, work, and family won't allow me to train for a full marathon, but I can establish good habits now, and up the ante once I'm done with school.
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Welcome aboard! This is a great place to share your difficulties, failures, and successes. When something is hard for you, post it! We're all developing our skills for quitting games and improving our lives and will happily share what helps us. I have yet to post any struggle I have faced while quitting games that hasn't been responded to helpfully. As I improve myself, I try to pass on the success that others have helped me achieve.
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I'm shaking right now. I've been home alone with my daughter who has just finished a two hour screaming session. I don't want to game, but I feel like I want to vomit. My nerves are shot. She's been screaming a lot at me this week, and it's been about 80% of our one on one interactions this week. She's asleep now, and I can't move off of the couch.
I'm not necessarily looking for somebody who can relate to my exact situation, but I could really use some nice words right about now. Has anybody been stressed to the point of shaking and a feeling of paralysis? I'm very open to some coping techniques, or something. I sometimes like to unwind with a beer after a hard day, but I know that drinking to numb my feelings would be a really bad habit to develop.
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31 seems about right. I'm still only 27 so I have a number of years to continue building my foundation.
Have a great day!
?Yup, keep building that foundation! It's funny because I was talking to somebody yesterday about how one of my role models is younger than me. The work you put in to supporting video game addicts is awesome and has changed my life. When I made the decision to quit the games, I didn't expect it to go as well as it has.
Anyways, I got married at 21 and divorced at 25. Video game addiction was something that my ex and I shared through much of our relationship. Because of the early marriage, video games, and a bunch of other reasons I didn't really develop a strong sense of self identity. Getting divorced, getting rid of my religion, and spending my days in my apartment alone with video games stripped what little bit I had left. I ended up having a nervous breakdown. This crisis left me in pieces and helped me to make some great changes in my life (I also read about this phenomenon in the book). I had to learn who I was. It sounds simple enough, but it really wasn't for me. I faced many self aggrandizing and self depreciating illusions of myself. Once I understood myself, I had to learn how to like myself. This is something I had never done before. Eventually, I became comfortable in my own skin, and was okay with being my own person. I didn't date anybody seriously until I got all of that done. When I started dating my wife, it was so different than anybody else I ever dated. I was so well versed in liking and dating the wrong women that I knew she was the one simply because it was so different from what I was used to. I guess I'm a little rambly because I'm exhaused, but my point is do not get married or have kids until you figure out who you are and why you like who you are.
TLDR; You have plenty of time.
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I can only imagine how wild parenthood is. I'm happy to delay that for a few more years, haha.
Celebrating the small wins - as I shared in my latest video - is one of the concepts that has had the biggest impact on my life. When we do poorly we are quick to judge and shame ourselves, yet when we do well we rarely acknowledge it.
If you haven't seen this TEDx talk on willpower I think you'd enjoy it.
?I'm happy I delayed parenthood! I had her at 31 years old, and feel like that was just right for me. A few extra years of living, learning, and earning have given me the foundation and perspective to really enjoy it. I couldn't imagine having her in my early twenties. I have to get my morning meditation in before work, so I'll make a real post tonight.
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In my last post, l meant to say she isn't too fussy. I was pretty stressed when I wrote that.
Today was better with my baby. She had a rough patch, but we both got through it much better than yesterday. I feel like the champion of the world today, haha. It's funny how parenthood is. The highs are so extremely high, and the lows feel like the depths of hell. On the average though, it's still awesome. I'm so glad that I can experience them for what they are without the numbness of video games.
In the book, I've been reading about how habits can form haphazardly, or they can be formed more intentionally. Small habits and small victories add up to giant gains as time goes on. That's why I keep this journal, meditate, and read. These small victories are starting to add up to more self confidence, a calmer mind, and clearer thoughts. All of that should add up to better decisions. I also read about how willpower is like a muscle that needs to be exercised to become stronger. It can be depleted if used unnecessarily. The proper mindset and social climate can also greatly amplify willpower as well.
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Yesterday evening was rough for me. I got home from work at my usual time and was thrilled to see my baby. We were laughing and playing for about half an hour then she started crying. I did all of the usual things (feed, burp, change diaper, sing, dance, hold, put down, leg rubs, etc.) and she was screaming at the top of her lungs. This went on for an hour and a half until my wife got home and she immediately cheered up. I felt like complete shit after that. My baby girl is usually too fussy, but last night she hated me. I didn't feel the urge to play video games at least.
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For me, weed was never an issue. I've gone for stretches of about a month straight of smoking every day (in the evenings only). For me, it didn't stop me from accomplishing anything as long as it didn't require intense concentration. Once, I ran three miles after smoking because I wanted to see what it felt like and I had a routine of running then. Another time I got high and spent a few hours cleaning the house. One of my favorite uses for weed was to make my weekends feel longer. When I limited my use to Fridays and Saturdays only, my two day weekends felt as relaxing as a four day weekend.
Quitting weed for me was always easy. I've done it probably twice in the last two years, and never once had an urge to do it. Of course if I had this relationship with video games, I wouldn't have quit them. I could also go to a party and drink a lot, but I never had any urges to drink. I just did it when I knew it was going to be fun. I know all of these substances affect all of us differently.
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Welcome aboard! There is a lot of support and good advice to be had here.
I remember my days of trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. One thing I did was take different classes at my local community college. They had classes for nursing, welding, automotive repair, law enforcement... all different things. I thought I was going to be going to school for engineering, but I took diverse classes for the general education requirements. I took a basic architecture class and was fascinated by it! I took a few more architecture classes, and not too long after I ended up with my associate's degree in architecture. I am now working my way towards my bachelor's degree now! I wouldn't have realized that I enjoyed architecture if I didn't just take a variety of classes. My community college actually gave me a much better education than the university I attend now at a third of the price. Just two classes a semester was enough for me to try some things and figure it out!
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Sounds like a blast! I've only been snowboarding a few times in my life, but I'll never forget how much fun I had!