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Tony S

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  1. Tony S

    How goes it

    Day 51-54 48/54 days without gaming I wanted to write yesterday but there wasn't really much to write about. I really wanted to play Overwatch today and im pretty sure the reason why was because i watched some Ov on youtube and hyped to turn it on, but since I deleted my account i wasn't able. It passed pretty fast when realised that i simply can't play. I kind of wanted to go and buy today game for ps4 but i didn't really want to spend money and break my not gaming streak. I again started taking naps in day and generally i sleep longer and the reason is as same as before, I don't have a reason to wake up. I don't work currently, and I have whole day to myself and not really much to do. I try to kill time with activities like gym or by reading book but after like 3 days I always get bored. I try to find new activities, that is one of the reasons why I started learning programming. By the way I kind of acheived today milestone, because i had today fun while learning C++, I created today simple calculator and i was astonished how amazing it is to create something which seems to be so difficult while in fact requires a small effort. I stoped my challenge without phone for now. I have to be 24h availble because im moving out of poland to Netherland to study and Im currently at point of finalising my relocation (which can be really stresfull -_-). I went to gym twice and went for a night running one time (i haven't done that for quite some time). I plan to go to gym again tommorow in morning. I read someones note in daily journal, how happy that person is that he managed to dedicate 40h in week to his passion. It got me thinking if i have any passion and im not really sure how to answear. Can programing be pasion? And if yes I don't quite feel it yet but I can see im heading into right direction. P.s i finished Ray Bradbury "martian chronicles" and I really don't get why netflix haven't yet made series based on book. I can easily see this adaptation to become grand success specially whith todays technology.
  2. Tony S

    How goes it

    Day 49-50 44/50 days without gaming Yesterday i invited my friends for a few beers so i didn't have time to post in daily journal. Since im leaving in august to study abroad i don't regret i cheated on my diet because this was probably the next meeting like this between us will be in next year when i come back to poland. Since i had today huge hangover i spend whole day in room watching movies and sleeping. Usually in past i would play through entire day but to be honest i haven't even thought about playing any games till untill now. Also i hit today 50 days and although it was difficult almost 2 months i can see im heading into the right direction. I read now not because i feel i should, I simply got myself to like it. Also through past 6 months i was lying to myself i would start learning programming and only thanks to changing my way of life I actually started online course on programming languages. The harsh true is the that I still and probably for long time will struggle every now and then to turn on pc and play some CIV6 or some other game.
  3. Tony S

    How goes it

    Day 48 42/48 days without gaming Second day with limited time on phone challenge out of 14 Finally got myself to go to gym again after 2 weeks break. Trained for like a 40 mins but it was good intensive training. Meanwhile i watched great video about french revolution made by oversimplified, if someone is intrested i will leave link below. Yesterday i fisished fahrenheit 451 and i liked it so much that i rented another book of the same author called ,,The Martian Chronicles" and so far i love it. Since friday i feel an urge to eat at local polish restaruant (Where food is really freaking good 😄) instead of dinner. In the end i have not gone because in the past, I were dozens of times in same situation. Always when im on a diet after like 4 days i feel a huge need to cheat on it, and always eventually i did. This is pretty much the same situation like with games, im bored and i try to convince myself that this is only one time think and next day i will be again fully comitted. Now every time i either want to play, cheat on diet or watch porn i simply ask myself ,,Ok if you cheat today, what stops you from doing that again in the near future? Next week or sooner you will be again in the exact same situation, and once again you will struggle to stay comitted, but since you already cheated once, you think that you are week and this whole idea of being comitted doesn't make any sense and you should just give up" Im just curious of results of me staying comitted for once and i think that is partially what gives me strength. By the way i did another 2 lessons on C++ course and with every episode im more intrested and eager to learn even more. Also im still comitted to 2 weeks limited time on phone challenge.
  4. Tony S

    How goes it

    Day 47 41/47 days without gaming I feel a bit better today, I didn't have an urge to play or turn on yt. First time from a long time i have not turned on yt even for 1 min, i think this might be an effect of no using phone challenge for next 2 weeks. Suprisingly i didn't feel an need to turn on phone, but im pretty sure either tommorow or day after that i might struggle with that. Watched some episodes of breaking bad on netflix but i didn't want to spend too much time in front of tv so i logged off and since i don't have password to this account no more netflix for me. I might tommorow turn on yt just for some documentary while cooking dinner. Learned a bit more about programming, found really nice course on skillshare and i want to make this my summer project, before september i plan to finish this course. I almost finished Book 451 fahrenheit which was recommended to me by Ted talks and it amazes me that the author of this book in 1953 predicted modern media and social problems. This book is like an archetype of series like black mirror and it was i will repeat it published in 1953!!!! Tommorow i plan to go to gym in morning and rent another book from library. Meanwhile i stress a bit because in september i start studying abroad and i still have not found a place to live in. I found one nice flat but i must wait till monday to know if it is still availble. It sucks when all you can do is wait.
  5. Tony S

    How goes it

    Day 21-46 So it has been a while since i posted, at the beginig i didn't feel like there was anything to write and after i didn't want to. I want to write down every day now because i believe it might help me. 40/46 days without gaming. I think a week after my last post i spended 3 days playing Overwatch and hearthstone and at start it felt really good but with the end of third day all i wanted to do was deleting game. I kind of lost count on porn but i stoped watching it again. I also stoped for 15 going every day to gym. I deleted my blizzard account for good which was pretty huge for me since most of my gaming time past those 3 years i spended playing Overwatch and Hearthstone. It is a weird feeling when you are trully not able to play game that you spend over 500 hours. Before that i was just uninstalling game but now it is gone for good. I kind of have mixed feelings about going to gym, usually when i go there i spend there 1hr and i always feel like everyone is staring at me. Past 3 days i had a huge urge to turn on pc and download any game and sunk into it. To be honest i don't have any clue why this time i didn't i think this might be longest time in my life without playing videogames!!! I practicly fight now against 4 urges: 1)PLaying videogames 2) youtube 3)Not sticking to my diet 4)Porno The only think that keeps me from doing any of these four is that if i do any one of them, i will do the others. I started the course on skillshare on programming in C++ but i can not get myself to focus ,so that is definetly smth that i must work on. Finally i want to write some positives that came out of those 46 days, since i can not play or watch yt to kill time i read books. At the start I read no books and now i just finished my second 600 page book in less than a month. Now i read at least 2-3 chapters per day.My time on yt has decreased from 5-8 hrs per day to less than an one hour!!! and i still plan to decrease that number. As aresult I listen now a lot of ted talks which I kind of treat like Lifehacks :D. I also started meditaiting once or twice 10 mins per day. On the other hand i again started taking long naps. Since i don't work beacause i start my education abroad in September i have every day till then free. P.s Starting tommorow im doing this challenge of turning on my phone only 40 mins per day for two weeks. Below u have a link to the video in which he talks about that challenge and it benefits. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu4Yvq-g7_Y
  6. Tony S

    How goes it

    I regret that I didn't have the opportunity to watch it before but if you recommend it i will for sure give it a chance 🙂
  7. Tony S

    How goes it

    Day 21 So i went for 10km ride on bike around 9 o'clock and on gym at the midday. Basiclly rest of day i watched some hbo movies and yt. I felt a huge urge to play Overwatch or civ6 but since i uninstalled both and thanks to my slow internet i wasn't able 😄 Starting tommorow i will limit watching movies to one per day, and watch only educational thinks on yt like Extra History or NerdWriter. I think i will also go back to my old hobby of creating fan made trailers, to keep myself busy.
  8. Tony S

    How goes it

    Okay So after day 3 i wanted for an hour to launch civ6 and relax and next 3 days i practiclly only played games and watched yt. So i got back up and dedicated myself to new habit of going everyday to gym. Ofcourse also try to not play videogames and to not watch porn. It has been 20 days and i was not fully comitted to them Number of days out of 20 i wasn't commited: Videogaming: 2 days (10%) Porno: 6 days (30%) Not going to gym: 2 days (On one of them i had a huge headache and the other time i had hangover) (10%) What did i notice? Negatives: - When i play i : -neither go to gym or study and , I watch porn -Next day i feel ashamed and angry at myself -I stay up late, so i get less sleep which causes me to be tired next day Basiclly when i dont go to gym or turn on computer to play videogames I break all my new rules - Even though i go to gym every day i go often for only 30 min because i dont have workout plan so i have to create one I watch still a lot of yt and tv series since i cant play I also noticed that in first week i slept like 10 hours every day because i had nothing to do, and i realised it is also because im tired after using whole day of my willpower to stick to good habits. When you sit in your apartment and you focus on not doing something like playing videogames you fight against your instincts to do something that you did regularly every day so eventually you become tired of not doing something. Positives: - I'am like 400% more active then i was before, not only i go every day to gym but i also sometimes run or ride on my bicycle - Whenever i feel urge to watch porn i go for a run, so that i don't stay at home and watch porn - I read more but it is still not enough, like only 3 days per week - I have finally cleaned my flat, I make sure every day i have clean and nice order in my apartment - I eat less but this is more effect of going to gym Whenever someone asks me if i play videogames i tell them no im done, because of that im convincing mostly myself that im trully comitted. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I also finished my job and i must find some new activity that is gonna keep me busy, sadly i can't work for next 3 months but there would be to much to explain why, so i will just skip that part. I hope to study more but then again i would have to stay at home and i want to spend as small time as i can siting in my small flat cause it drives me crazy. If anyone reads it the reason why i dont write every day is because i dont feel a need, i prefer to write when i simply think there is something worth writing down. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have two main goals 1) No videogames 2) Go to gym every day The other like no porn, or study more i treat more like positive side effects. Even though i was not fully commited i know im heading in the right direction and that i took first step into better future. If anyone has any good advices on what can i do to stay busy, or based on their own experience im all ears 🙂
  9. First year of my high school me and my friends just couldnt wait to go back to home and play overwatch since it was new back then. To be honest this was i think best year of my life, anything that is good and pure in gaming like making new friends, and having good time together was the main part of that gaming year for us. Sometimes we would not even play and just send to each other memes and non stop laugh. But with the start of the second year group started to shrink and eventually second year i ended up playing with only one friend because others moved on. Back then i started to realise that i have problem, i began to skip classes, lie that i don't really play gamesanymore to my friends because i was embarrassed and my bad habit also reflected negativly on everyones mood in my house. With the start of final high school year( in poland high school takes 3 years) i promised to myself i will stop with games and will focus on studying. And to my suprise for over month it worked. And then one day my friend that i spended previous year playing with asked me to play with him. After 3 days of non stop playing i truly realised that i have a problem but still ended up doing nothing serious about it for almost 2 years. The rest of the year i played alone. I curse this day till today . And so we are on the same page i don't blame my friend at all whole fault is on my side.
  10. Tony S

    How goes it

    Day 3 Definetly feel better today, i woke up at 7.am which is late for me but at least i got good sleep. After getting up i finally cleaned my room and went to gym for like an hour. I watched some of the videos from great playlist created by Improvement pill (which was recommended to me by one of you 😉 )that i really advice anyone of you to watch if you haven't already, event though it is named how to quit porn you can easily treat this as an advices to any bad habits. I recomend to watch max 3 videos per day. Not everything on the same day cause you won't remember everything. In one of these videos he recomends to create one good habit that you will stick to every day. In my case it will be visiting gym every day. The plan is to spend there in good days at least one hour in first few weeks. On bad days it can be less, it might be even only 20 min. With time i hope this will be my new habit instead of watching youtube or playing. At the end of the training i will ride on exercise bike and at the same time watch movie as a reward. I dedicated part of my time today to read book instead of watching youtube but im not gonna lie it is hard for me to focus. I must just accept it will take long time for me to adapt to my so called new life 😄 Btw tommorow i will be passing speaking part of Ielts academic examination and im bloody afraid. Even more i will have to wait additional at least 13 days for results so next 2 weeks will be fun xd.At least i will be finally done with this. So far so good 🙂
  11. Tony S

    How goes it

    Day 2 This day truly sucked. Had a huge headache and i ended up sleeping through most of the day, wasn't able to do anything usefull.
  12. Day1 Didnt play any game entire day, or watched any youtube video. In the morning i watched one episode of hbo series and while i was working i played in background movie. Because i had so much free time i went to gym ( first time since 4 months), i didn't want to stay at home, just had to get out and do something. To kill time i read book and went shopping (clothes, no games or anything related to it). Even though i did in one day more than i did through entire last week still i had to much free time. So far so good 🙂
  13. Hi Im 19 years old and i've been playing games for god knows how long, to be honest i don't even remember. I struggled to admit that i have problem for at least 3 years. I have been living on my own for six months now and before i moved out from my parents house i remember promising to myself i will finally do something, that this is new chapter in my life and i will make best of it. Day by day i kept on lying to myself that i will learn tommorow or i will go to gym next day. And now im here and it feels still like im stuck in the same place, im angry at myself that i did nothing to improve my life. In three days i will have exam that will define my future and i know im not prepared. This is second time i will fail important exam because instead of preparing i either played , watched youtube or tv series and movies. Of course there were many attempts by me to stop. The best out of all i think 26 attempts result was 30 days without videogames and the only reason why i stopped then was because my mother cutted of the internet connection :). Only now i realise i was happy back then and wish to finally be done with games youtube etc.. I know that im too weak to limit my daily use of watching and gaming so my plan is to stop completly. The main reason why actually now i want to be done with it is because im ashamed, i no longer want to dissapoint myself or my father who doesn't know about my addiction. Im afraid that if he finds out my failiers were caused by my own laziness he won't longer believe that i can achieve something in my life. I don't wish for this to happen because he is the only person that ever trully believed in me. All i want is to not dissapoint him. Im not able to focus at all and whenever im tyring to study i can't focus for even 10 mins. If anyone by any chance reads it and would like to share their own advices i would be really greatfull.
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