NEW VIDEO: Why You MUST Quit Gaming in 2025

Ikar
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Posts posted by Ikar
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It's interesting how even after almost a year one can still see their past in a slightly different angle, interpret it differently and try to figure out what to do in the future based on that.
I understand your frustration when you parted with your friends for the night after having fun. If I socialize nicely one day, then I'm sometimes bummed I do not have the same opportunity the next day too.
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I'd say if you are not sure about quitting games, then do it and see what happens. At first, I was also just curious what would happen. I think all the "quitters" to an extent realize they have 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week and that they want to spend that time better.
Good luck!
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Good job on kicking both smoking and gaming at the same time.
Getting the agenda up is a great idea. I'm mostly still at the level of just writing things down I want to do on particular days (sometimes I plan a day ahead, sometimes I plan a few days ahead), rather than pinpointing the exact times when I want to do these things.
I use Excel for planning my days .When I do a certain activity, I highlight it in green. If I do a little bit of it, or it's some continual project with multiple steps, I highlight it in yellow. If I did not do it at all, I highlight it in red. I can also use the past days for evaluating what went good and what went wrong and adjust for that in the future, as long as I am honest with myself and keep track of it truthfully.
The good thing about getting a job is that it automatically nails some time for you (so you do not have to plan your free time), gives you money and might have some other benefits like socializing, doing what you like etc. The bad thing is that it also drains your willpower and it's definitely harder to be working on "your own stuff" after it, compared to if you had the day for yourself.
Another thing to consider is that it also shapes you and you really want to be aware of what's shaping you. In a sense, you have to make sure the job also works for you. For example, if you are regularly angry in it and hate going there, then that is really a horrible way to exist for half your life, no matter to which extent is the job is genuinely unpleasant to do and how much of that is "your fault".
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It sounds like you have a nice plan. Good luck!
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Day 161:
I switched to learning Spanish in Russian on Duolingo and dropped German for now, as I think it's too much to be going for three languages at the same time.
I played Scrabble, did a bit of homework, watched Peterson, went outside to exercise a bit and watched a bit of Mitchell and Webb. Other than that, it's been a lazy day.
Also, to make this a bit harder on myself:
NoFap - 1 day
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17 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
What did you study and how is the socializing impacting you?
I study geography. The lectures on themselves were not very interesting, but I went there after four months, so the situation itself was interesting.
It's been cool to hang outside for a bit with people I know. I could definitely do that more often.
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Day 160:
I went to school today, so that ate up most of the day. I got to socialize a little bit today, so that was good ?
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Day 159:
I got most of my tasks done super quickly today, I just had less tabs open and less emails/calls to do than I thought.
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Day 158:
I taught English for 4 hours, cycled some 15 kilometers, read a bit about money, visited my grandma and hammered some facade off in the bathroom.
I feel fairly tired after such a day.
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Day 157:
I talked with mom, played Scrabble and prepared for my English teaching class tomorrow. I also exercised, checked out Bioenergetics I've seen on @LordArjuna 's diary, did Duolingo and watched Peterson on existentialism. I've also seen a bit of sketch shows.
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Day 156:
I did Duolingo, watched another Peterson lecture and cleaned my room a bit in the morning. I watched some Mitchell and Webb, wrote for about two hours in the afternoon. I also exercised outside with my basketball. I met some small kids on the playground and they immediately wanted to play with me. It was fun!
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Interesting video, thanks for sharing it. I keep hearing about these physical exercises aimed primarily at improving your mental well-being, so I'll try to give it a shot too.
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Moaning and facial expression (if genuine) are still rewards for the work you put in and I would hazard a guess that it should stay that way. Myself, I do not watch porn per se, but to be honest with myself, there are some similar elements to what I sometimes do and watch compared to porn. My thinking what do I want to do about (P)MO is still somewhat hazy, though it might be that it's just a more insidious addiction than gaming, even if it takes far less time compared to gaming in my case. I have done some short no-faps in the past, so I know I could have sex once a week (preferably as a part of a relationship that's not based solely on sex), I'd most likely be able to toss it completely.
As for porn setting the example, it really only sets the primordial motivations in place. You can have a great body and be good at sex, but if you do not exercise or have sex for a year, you are gonna get worse. That's why a (reasonable) woman should be interested rather in the man's constant stream of effort (regular exercise over time), rather than the end product (perfect body). If you do that across the board of life (work, exercise, reading, hobbies, etc.), maybe then you can convince a woman that you are reliable enough to raise a child with you. It works the other way as well, but the ratio of childless women is lower than the ratio of childless men.
As for the hobbies, I discovered I like psychology. I also like to write with people a lot. Exercising and reading are sort of half and half for me; I mostly enjoy them when I do them, but it generally takes some effort to get me going on them. I did not really start on any of the hobbies I had planned on starting after Iceland yet.
Learning to enjoy the process is difficult, especially if the thing naturally does not grip you. I'm still horrible at enjoying planning my days - not that I would do nothing useful the whole day if I did not do it, but it would help me to put things into perspective and prioritize them better.
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Day 155:
I played Scrabble with mom, did my daily Duolingo and went outside for a walk and to read Gulag Archipelago a little bit. I also finished That Mitchell and Webb Look, it was a great sketch show! For the rest of the day, I wrote to people and thought.
I thought about my parents, about my relationships, my past. I think I am asking better questions nowadays and that I am also getting better answers. I am intently drawing corollaries where there have been none before. Only time will tell to what extent I was correct in my assumptions.
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Day 154:
I watched a short Peterson lecture (2017 Personality videos) and demolished tiles in the bathroom, so the reconstruction can progress. After lunch, we visited the grandma for her name-day. That was pretty much it for today.
It's gonna be time for a monthly report soon and perhaps even for a half-year report.
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Good luck!
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Day 153:
I watched Peterson explaining the Lion King as an archetypal story. I've also read up on some of the Jungian concepts of "anima" and "animus" and it was fairly interesting.
I also hoovered, cleared out some mails and tabs, sent several emails, mowed the rest of the lawn and checked out additional uni courses. I also had a light meditation in the bath.
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Day 152:
I went to an interview, did some paperwork in the town and mails, Duolingo, got my leaflets around the village and also researched something about my further education. Tomorrow I have a day off, I'm quite happy about it.
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Day 151:
I taught English for 5 hours today and it was mentally draining, but because I am not used to it, rather than someone making some trouble. I wrote with a few friends today, did Duolingo, cycled on my bike and even wrote a few emails in the evening. I think I deserve to relax for the rest of the day.
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Welcome back!
21 hours ago, ElectroNugget said:All that said, today I found out my ex of a few months now has got a new boyfriend and is moving to Munich with him. Things seemed to move very quickly there... To be honest while I have not thought all that much about her, this was a real hammer blow to my mood and self-esteem today. I have a lot of negative and self-defeating thoughts about this... I'm really tired of struggling with relationships and breakups in the way that I have the past few years. I feel like it takes me forever to move on, if ever, while my exes have all seemed to just flit to the next relationship very quickly. I don't wan't to sound bitter about it, but it really hurts me and I can't seem to find the root why, or what I am hoping for here... I'm tired of having these moments of intense pain, where everything comes back. I don't know how to progress to a more capable, stable and whole human being. I want to be able to live and be relatively happy on my own, if that's what my life is going to be.
I feel like I have struggled, bit and fought for every inch of ground I've gained over my anxiety and depression in the past few years, while exes, friends and colleagues have coasted through life. I honestly don't know how they do it, and I feel like I'm having to make massive personal sacrifices to try and reach the kind of person I want to be... and yet things like this keep happening. I keep feeling this pain. I don't know. I don't know how to be good enough. Maybe I'll never be good enough.I'm gonna quote myself 3 months ago, because I think it is relevant.
On 6/17/2019 at 8:28 PM, Ikar said:Whew well, sucks to hear that. Take your time on it and see what you can make up of it and don't do anything fatally stupid. Judging from the way you wrote it, you didn't expect that in the slightest and it was likely more or less on her decision.
Even if her reason is valid and running a long-distance relationship is not easy (my ex would travel 3 hours by train to see me and I would have to drive half of that if I was seeing her), there's some merit in knowing that "sooner" (for women) or "later" (for men), you want to start living together and have some joint, shared vision of future together, because women are tighter on the biological clock (again, I think might've been relevant, if you dated for several years). Perhaps she couldn't articulate that well enough, perhaps you turned a blind eye to that aspect, who knows.
Again, this is purely my perspective from your writing and don't you dare do anything fatally stupid. You'll get by, with or without her. Feel free to PM me, if you want!
What worked in my case (after the breakup) was to acknowledge that there was something good and something bad in the relationship and be really mindful about what did I consider "good" and what did I consider "bad". I had some things do a 180 when I realized my ex unconsciously hates me, to put it shortly. It felt like only then I could come to terms with my past and not be traumatized by it, if it somehow manifests in my everyday life, either directly or as an innocent association. Otherwise I think self-pity and bitterness would do me in, slowly and painfully.
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@Blab Good for you that you realized that you use it primarily for something else than learning a language!
On 9/15/2019 at 5:52 AM, TwoSidedLife said:@Blab It's a tricky disguise. Especially cause it seems justified.
Just checked cause I remembered seeing DuoLingo recommended in the hobby list here (Yeah, it's recommended as a resource). I think Duo use to be a lot different a few years ago, not sure. I personally don't think it should be a resource here. Everyone on this thread seems like they might agree w that.
I think some 30 months ago when I started out on Duolingo learning Russian, there were streaks and XP already in place, but I'm not sure about the medals.
Myself, I think Duolingo is still a perfectly valid resource and possibly one of the best ways to really start off learning a language - to hammer in some basic grammar and vocabulary for survival level abroad. I mean, of course they "rigged" it a to try and keep your attention, but it's still on you just how much attention are you willing to give it.
In a broader sense, everything that can take advantage of the play/gaming aspect, does so, because it's naturally appealing to humans. Tinder works that way. News (either on TV or paper) are also trying to "steal" your attention by the fact that e.g. a bombing happened that in some remote location you've never been to. It's definitely more interesting than the fact that e.g. firefighters rescued 12 kittens from trees in your city in the past year.
So all I can say is just that we should be aware and I think any self-convicted gaming addict has some basic form of self-awareness. Your eyes are yours only.
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3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
Are you currently working right now as well? I worry about the gaming stream because I think it will conflict with the progress you've made.
I currently work once a week and I will go to university once a week soon as well. The university is on a normal workday though and, for whatever reason, most employers here cringe at the idea someone would not go to work five times a week, even if they say there's not enough people to fill in all the empty positions. That's the reason I am adding my work from from "0" hours, rather than subtracting from "40" or "50" hours a week, taking days off just so I could go to work etc. I've also come to terms with having all that free time and trying to use it more wisely. It took me half a year and a breakup. I'd say most people are not faced with that situation until they are retired.
Obviously, I will not know what's up until I actually start streaming games, but it's like that with everything. I've been learning three languages on Duolingo for over a week now (I'm also aware of the fact that I will just grasp the basics like that). I do not know if I will ever have the chance to realistically use them. Every hobby seems to be like that when you start it and most hobbies just stay hobbies until you quit them.
I also feel like a bit of a special potato when I'm reading most of the journals, because the average "quitter" seems to have more, longer and stronger cravings than me. I've experienced some minor cravings perhaps the first week, but I was mostly excited about actually having time to get other stuff done, rather than cowering in the corner and looking at the clock. There have been some thoughts about gaming along the way of the detox, but it was the same as with thoughts about my ex or the army - I just accepted them, thought about them a little bit and let them go, primarily because I think it is a very good idea to be at peace with your past.
I am a strong believer that if something in your past makes you uncomfortable, sad or angry, then that is exactly the reason to focus on sorting your past out. I think it is ideally done the best with someone you can trust (the diary is pretty cool as well), but the main incentive has to come from within you anyway.
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Day 150 = 5 months:
Today felt like a really long day which is good, because that means I got a lot of things done.
I did my languages, watched Peterson lectures for a few hours, rode on my bike + visited and talked to my grandma, did the groceries, wrote with a friend for quite a while and prepared for English teaching tomorrow (after some 10 weeks or so).
I also had a thought about re-establishing my gaming stream. x1-x2 a week for 2-3 hours. Always planned a few days in advance.
I already thought of some both positive and negative implications of actually doing this. I will keep the idea in the back of my head for a few weeks, as I want to be able to nail days in their "basic" form (as I did today and yesterday) at the very least on a regular basis.
I can definitely say today was good as well.
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Day 149:
I had done most of the things I had planned for today. It was mostly maintenance/low-stress stuff, but it was THE routine day as I want it to be. It was a good day.
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Ikar's Diary
in Daily Journals
Posted · Edited by Ikar
Day 162:
I played Scrabble, watched Peterson for a bit, sent a few emails, read the Gulag Archipelago, exercised and updated my ads online, which I should have done way earlier after coming back from Iceland, but I feel like it was an honest mistake that I managed to forget this part of my entrepreneurship.
NF - 2 days