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Ikar

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Posts posted by Ikar

  1. 12th November - 24th November:

    There's been a lot going on and not really that much time to stop and think, so that's why this is only my third entry for November. I decided to spend yesterday evening and today evening only for myself; to write this entry and to go through some unfinished work and to relax.

    ---

    First thing in order is that I do have a girlfriend now. We normally see each other once a week, though sometimes we also meet during the week. I like that.

    Second is that I might have my first English company courses directly from January. It's in the making as of now, but if it works out, that's effectively a 30-40% boost in pay over the courses I have for language schools. I also got a few offers to teach kids, however I declined those, as it's not the direction I want to be taking now.

    The business mentoring has been going on as planned. It's good for me, as it gives me good ideas. I think my mentor has very good compatibility with my personality.

    I went to Slovakia with my geographers' group for networking, hiking, as well as some drinking for four days.

    I met two friends I haven't seen for two months one on one. Fun times, the time flew and it was enjoyable.

    I had two presentations at the uni classes and I actually enjoyed giving them. I'm gonna have a presentation for the business mentoring on 13th, so I'll make sure to prepare that well and enjoy it too!

    ---

    I definitely need to create more free time to spend alone with the ideas I already have, so I want to make entries more frequently here. I'm gonna do some huge annual report, comparing my 2022 to 2021 (and maybe even 2020) on Christmas when I'll have two weeks off.

    • Like 1
  2. 1 hour ago, Amphibian220 said:

    There are many global bestsellers on financial planning spanning from the most basic rules on saving to the most advanced on how to predict market movements in shares, currencies and commodities.

    But you could explore your particular region and make specific findings based on that. I remember you writing on that some time ago. But even that literature may be plentiful in your country. It takes time to find a niche like exploring a subject in a novel way.

    Information is not the problem, but I don't have time nor passion to go into money/finance more than my current intermediate level. I don't think it's likely I will overhaul my financial system completely. I believe I've already made my "big" financial mistakes and I believe they were the effect of "big" life mistakes/misconceptions too. The important thing is that I learnt from those mistakes.

  3.   I'm using the template I used the last time. 15/10/22 - 12/11/22


    "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.

    I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.


    ---

     

    Books/Reading articles:

    L: I read "Master and Margarita", currently getting through "The Magic of Thinking Big". Restarted the newsletters.

    T: Still getting through "The Magic of Thinking Big", as it's a book to read multiple times. Keeping up with the newsletters.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Continue getting through the newsletters.

    (Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.

     

    Family:

    L: Met up with my family members separately on different occasions. We've been dealing with the issue of future inheritance and we have all agreed on it.

    T: There are two family projects I need to take care of, both of them regarding my grandma. One is getting her a new kitchen unit instead of the derelict one she has and to organize a trip to visit her sister by car with other family members too. I want to get these done by Christmas.

    NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Continue working on bettering the relationships with my family.

     

    University:

    L: 105/120 hours on the internship. The uni starting, projects for classes, diploma thesis... it's been a lot. I feel like I am scrambling to prioritize right and execute, though I'm confident I can manage all of it. I'll do whatever is necessary and I'll be fine.

    T: The internship is (finally) over. I've grown to dislike the GIS editing, as it seemed that there was no end in sight to it - the job was quite monotone and because it was hard for me to find time to actually do it. The summer tasks regarding the internship were more interesting.

    I'm not sure if I already put it out here, but my plan for some time has been to do the main part of my diploma in summer 2023 and to do the defense and finals in January/February 2024. With my university duties taking 10-15 hours a week and English teaching taking 25-30 hours a week, on top of other activities like the business mentoring, social meetings and one-off things, the last thing I want is to add more to the university bucket.

    As far as the university currently goes, I'm actually fairly caught up on the projects as of now.

    NOT: I don't want to drop out of the university.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Internship finished.

    Find more sources for my upcoming masters' thesis during the summer.

    Work on the assignments in a timely manner.

     

    Job/English:

    L: I had 29 hours this week and 28 hours the last. My workday (I'm including the uni too) usually begins at 7 or 8 and finishes around 8 as well, normally with at least an hour or two of free time during lunchtime, but sometimes more.

    I've been having the mentoring classes and bi-weekly seminars (decided to make time for them) and they've been a great help in terms of moving my business forward and coming up with new ideas. I'm gonna implement some of the easier improvements this weekend. For example, I did a business analysis of my students/clients a few weeks ago to better understand the people I meet.

    Maybe I've mentioned it before, but with my job position and demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.

    T: Classes are at a stable 25-30 hours a week. The business seminars/mentoring are still going on, so a lot of ideas are coming in. I'm likely going to outsource a few of the projects, such as the modern re-design of my website, SEO and perhaps some more advanced marketing stuff. My students have also been helpful as far as this goes. I have many upcoming projects in the pipeline.

    NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Continue going to the business seminars/mentoring at the uni.

    Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.

    Update my website to reflect the new ideas and inspiration from the web. Get a customized redesign and SEO for the website.

    Look into strategies in becoming truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between.

    Networking events.

    Variable pricing.

     

    Exercise/Movement:

    L: I've been biking regularly to work/uni. This month I even cycled to my family (35) or to pick up my car (20). I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically part of my job and uni duties. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change. I sometimes go for a walk over the weekend, as I normally don't have time to take a two hour walking/reading session during the week.

    T: Still walking and cycling regularly to see my students or when going out in the evening.

    NOT: I don't want to become fat.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Keep in shape.

     

    Women/Dating:

    L:

    Spoiler

    I learnt that perhaps I do not have as hard-core of a monogamous mentality as I thought I would have. I'm also probably more aware than ever that everybody is fucked up, including myself. There are a few women I could think of in the romantic plane in my area. I don't think it makes much sense to be writing about specific women though. I came to the realization that planning in this area is usually cumbersome and counterproductive.

    I cut one of the relationships, did sex and I'm keeping my eyes peeled.

    I was predicting the change in my sexual mindset and behavior for a long time. I behaved and acted in line with it. I just needed the reality to catch up on it; similarly to that when I was gaming, I got fired from the post office several days after I quit gaming, because most of my (unsatisfactory) work there was done when I was still gaming.

    In the past, I believe I looked at the more obvious sexual displays of others with both distaste and envy at the same time. Especially when I thought that I have no other option than to sit and do nothing or to get drunk and hope that something happens. It just took some time to internalize that the thing standing between me and a good (even if only sexual) relationship with a woman is... me.

    As long as there are two consenting adults, whatever goes. Whether it's a good idea or not is another question (given the circumstances), but I won't villanify that behavior a priori anymore.

    That said, a horrible relationship is better than none at all. The cataclysmic end of my last one was likely the trigger for me to quit games for good. Nothing is forcing anyone to stay and die in a horrible relationship, except the lack of options in one's head. (December 20)

    I learnt a lot about the sexuality of women over the past few weeks by spending time with the Spanish girl. I learnt a bunch about my sexuality as well. I also learnt relationships can be more nuanced. It's been a great learning experience so far. (January/February)

    I've spent about two months with the Spanish girl and this morning she left home for three weeks, after which she should come back. I feel that she's into me, that she cares about me and that she doesn't want to lose me (be it to another relationship or due to some quarrel between us, though I find the latter less likely), though at the same time I feel we both want to assert ourselves to leave other options available. In my case to find someone more "permanent" to date/be together with, because I know she'll be gone in the summer. In her case it's different relationship philosophy and uniqueness of every relationship.

    To explain that further, she actually encouraged me to meet other girls to see what might come out of it, which is generally something I am not 100% confident at and could use some practice in. Regardless, despite our differences, I feel that we're willing to respect each other and not argue about them. (March)

    We had a few talks together with the Spanish girl and decided we wouldn't carry on with the sexual element in our relationship. It was the first time for her trying to amalgamate sexual and affectionate relationship into one and the second time for me. I decided to take her for her word and not to push her into something she doesn't want or isn't sure about. I sensed/noticed that it's not the first time she's having difficulty in continuing the relationship in the current setting. I think that a part of good relationship is the ability to respect "no" as a "no" and it's definitely one of the things I want in all my relationships that go deeper.

    I'm actually somewhat surprised by how romantic the relationship has come to be. I think we are both considerate of each other and already value each other to go through this in an abrupt or otherwise bad way. I feel a sense of loss in a way, but I think various factors chimed in to dampen it. Besides, I have learnt a lot about various sexual topics and I grew more confident in this regard. It's very liberating to be playful and inventive too!

    This one is actually only a few days old, but I do feel attracted to one girl and I want to have sex with her, although I don't think something long-term could come out of it due to the factual differences that we have. Hooray for being human! (April)

    We've been flirting and dancing around around with the girl from April. I told her we're gonna do something together after I am done with the finals and I want to keep that promise. I'm not 100% sure if it's the right move, but I'm gonna take the opportunity regardless. (May)

    There are some situations with the girl where we do get close, although from some situations I also understand that I don't want to be too closely involved with her and neither does she. Though I like her physically and I think she's aiming at good things in life, I feel she constantly needs to put herself in messy/highly emotional situations and states. I can joke about it and laugh it off with her as her friend, but it'd be very different if I decided to be a more unpredictable variable in her life.

    That doesn't mean random and unpredictable sex can't happen. The last week I had sex with a friend from the dorms I've known for over a year. We were both tipsy, though I think we were both surprised how that evening ended up happening.

    I've been having thoughts about the time with the Spanish girl, meaning there could still be something I need to decode. I didn't talk to her before she left to Spain about a month ago and nor I gave her the letter I wrote and planned to give her. Regardless, I've thought about the topic myself. I found that the main idea is to take it as it is, regardless of what the reasons of her sudden April "cut" were. I also believe that sometimes the more loving and more courageous decision is to walk away to prevent more hurt and pain, whether due to toxicity (my X) or time constraints (Spanish girl?). One of the things that "got" me closer together to her was the care. She really did care for me as my mom or grandma would, which I noticed when she was adamant about the fact I needed to see the doctor. The fact that we could also agree to disagree was amazing as well. Lastly, she did catalyze more effort from my side to get to know my family better and closer.

    Talking to one of my friends, she said the average masturbation for her is better than the average sex. I found that quite surprising, as I've never thought that would be the case for anyone.

    To end on a good note, I met an interesting girl yesterday in the evening and wrote her on Messenger today. I really should meet even more new people. We'll see what comes out of this. (June/July)

    I noticed that I am thinking more outside of my head about this topic and around friends which is good. (August/September)

    I'm fairly positive I am making progress in this area. It's really only about having the guts to say hi and then making the ask to meet. It needs to become the routine, if I want to have some control over this aspect of my life. The end-result doesn't actually matter. And I'm aware I will make mistakes, get myself in stupid situations, get used and whatnot, but it's all in the game. I'm fairly adamant and determined in this. I've done a lot of scouting recently, so I got some "hard data" on a few girls I was interested in. (September/October)

    To put a real example here, I'm currently making an effort to find dates and a girlfriend. I met a girl last Monday, had a good chat with her for a while, wrote her to meet up and she agreed. Five minutes into the second meeting, I found out she had a boyfriend, yet I didn't just turn around on my heel, as I promised her a walk around the city she doesn't know. I spent some two hours with her, had a good conversation with her, found out she's a good speaker and discussed some views on philosophy and politics.

    The advice I could take from this regarding my dating life: Be more aware of social situations when I am first interacting with a girl I like and be better at scouting to find out whether she's already seriously dating someone or not. Then again, I got something I wasn't expecting but is valuable as well: thinking about reconsidering some of my life views through a good debate.

    All in all, it's impossible to answer the question: Was it a success or a failure? Well, It depends on how I choose to look at it. (Oct/Nov 21)

    I've been meeting one girl for about a month now, both in a planned way but also running into her randomly. She seems shy, a maverick/lone-wolf to a great extent, but also quite honest. I think it's gonna be interesting. Gonna meet her on Monday and do something together again. (Nov)

    So I've been out a few times with the Georgian girl I met at the beginning of October. She's fun to be around, likes my analytical mind and so we sometimes grapple intellectually. She's also kind and I'd argue more compassionate then I am. We're gonna plan something together the next week too. I'm fairly unaware about where this is going, so I'm leaving this go its own way. The only thing that's for sure is that she leaves at the end of January.

    What I've been probably happiest about that this area of my life seems to have some traction, as I felt there was none during the summer until the end of September. What's also worth noting is that this one of the areas with the most shades of gray and trial and error I've been in. I can absolutely not plan for an outcome. It's as much about knowing the other person as it is about knowing myself. (Jan 22)

    Things have been going pretty well with the Georgian girl. She's gonna stay here until June and I myself might go to Germany for Erasmus in April, if the situation permits. It's nice to have somebody close to me to share things and try new things with every now and then. She's intellectually bright and can challenge me on a few things, so she also gives me the mirror sometimes.

    She's also good at English and had some interviews already. She negotiated even a bit higher rate than I did. She actually gave me the impulse to revisit the payment I get from language schools this early. (Jan)

    February and March have been pretty good with the Georgian girl and I believe we both enjoyed it. I'm happy that we managed to get the things we wanted to get done together. We will continue to date, until the distance is just too much to bear. She's going to have a more complicated schedule in April with a lot of traveling and in mid-May she's going to move to another city, which is however reachable on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. I hope to post an update on this when the time comes. (Feb/Mar)

    In April, we've been apart for about two weeks and there's one more week until she moves to another city for the internship. We spent a lot of time together this week.

    I've entertained the idea to have a long-distance relationship until I/we are able to be in one place or to change location at will. My plans are to do the Erasmus in Bulgaria and finish the masters at the uni in early 2024 and after that I am completely location-independent - until then, I am to an extent bound in my current city. The money is not necessarily the issue either; although it's usually more expensive to travel than to stay in one place, I expect my financial situation to be healthy. It's not unrealistic, but we'll see. (Apr/May)

    We've been seeing for weekends. My girlfriend even made a surprise visit today, traveling to my hometown for the weekend. (Jun/Jul)

    Made a promise to not watch "porn" to my girlfriend. Our relationship is very warm. We shared some nasty secrets about one another and I think that bound us even closer. She's leaving back to Georgia in mid-August. We plan on seeing once or twice more and deciding what's next. (Jul/Aug)

    She told me she doesn't want to have a long-distance relationship when she leaves in two weeks, partly because she already has the experience of long-distance for three years and she doesn't want to go through that again. I did cry (which I haven't in at least a few months, if not years), although I do not feel heartbroken. I take it as it is. Life's good.

    She's been a great friend to me and I believe she will be in the future too. I believe she made her decision after contemplating it for a long time. I know she likes me, loves me. And because she's a great friend of mine, I won't question her judgement and try to convince her of something else. She knows what she would go through if she had another long-distance relationship. She has the right to say "no" to it and act in her best interest.

    The malicious part of my mind keeps telling me that I am a rejected loser, as I was unable to convince her to continue the relationship. I think the malicious part takes inspiration from concurrent culture/TV or my past experiences with women. However I decided to have the relationships I want now, not based on templates that somebody tries to feed me or on what happened before.

    The good thing about the "romance" in the relationship is that it has a closure I can understand and get by. So while the pain is inevitable and it sucks we won't see each other anymore, the suffering is next to none, as I don't pity myself or second guess something, as I did with the Spanish girl.

    Another great thing about the relationship is that I never needed to "act like a man" or "extort" something from her. We always said what we wanted, more or less straight up. Not playing mind-games saves a lot of energy and even if we argued sometimes (about something philosophically significant; not about who is going to wash the dishes), we just acknowledged the differences and moved on. This also meant acknowledging our negative personality traits - she is often too disorganized and bad at planning things, whereas I can be sometimes condescending and arrogant (I think I share that trait with my father). (Aug/Sep)

    IMPORTANT - I thrive when I have an equal partner in a relationship. I also have experience to see obvious red flags contrary to that a mile away. In a relationship, I can be sometimes condescending or arrogant. I know what I want in a relationship. I won't sell myself short in a relationship. (Sep/Oct)

    I saw a girl on Monday, we started chatting two weeks ago because we share one subject at the university and decided to meet together, because we are writing a lot. She's quite talkative, seems like the nervous type, though she seems to have some tactical tools to help her with that, like good hobby structure and calendar. We'll see. Going out with her again tomorrow. (Oct/Nov)

    T: It's been going well with the girl. I wouldn't dare to call her my girlfriend yet, but we've spent several afternoons/evenings together, so it's pretty serious dating now.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Set up at least two dates a month.

    -----

    Digital maintenance - removed, no news. Keeping it around in case there are some changes as placeholder.

    ---

    What to do if I am bored?

    Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading, cleaning, washing the dishes, business ideas, uni work, blogging

    Replacement activities for 2 hours: going to the gym, going for a walk

    -----

    Additional thoughts/activities:

    My hobbies are: personal finance, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging and geography.

    This month, I did these cool activities: working on my business, attending the geographic conference, playing at table football tournament, buying presents for my family for Christmas.

    ---

    I think quitting games matured quickly and brutally overall, including in my relationship to women. I can say I am attracted to the girl I have been seeing. She gives me more than enough signs that its mutual. I don't think I am wrong, but I've been surprised before 😄

    I have to scout her behavior for a longer time to see how (in)secure she is. She's capable of being independent, based on the things she's done in the past, so I am not sure whether she's just trying to seem more "approachable" for me to make a move on or whether it's a bigger issue. I don't want to have a clingy girlfriend.

    ---

    Add-on:

    I enjoy writing articles, however I am not enjoying the process of how to actually set up the blog, whether I should try and make some money off of it. I think I will, but I won't go on writing e-books, providing courses and whatnot. Just a few affiliate links for the services I like. This allows me to focus on writing and not fret over something I don't even know I want to do.

    There are tentative plans to meet the Georgian girl again in a few months. I'd like to combine it together with some Erasmus+ project as well.

  4. 18 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

    I don’t doubt her competence, but the greatest allure of all things on earth for men are women. This can come in as a barrier for effective work and can even compromise a person.

    Which is why I accept to work when interaction is minimal with the opposite gender.

    Are you afraid that she would touch you during conversations? Or that in her department you'd just spend all the time looking at her instead of working?

    Regardless, there are solutions; some people like to have physical contact with the other person, but the other person can set boundaries and say they don't want that. And if she's just so pretty you can't stop looking at her, then that's something in your power to change and stop doing. Anyway, it's not a criminal offense to consider other women besides your wife pretty.

    We've had women in the workforce for at least a few decades and I don't think that's going away in our lifetimes. Unless you work in construction or some heavy industry, you are going to have to deal with women in a constructive way. I don't think avoiding them completely is constructive, but it's on you of course.

  5. 3 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

    I have been offered a move to another department but I feel that i will not take it because of the manager’s dress and her personal attitude of being very informal. 

    This is a risk because it is likely to produce a lot of unwanted emotions, but the media tries to dictate that this is something normal.

    Send me a picture, so I can evaluate that manager's attire myself 😛

    Now to be serious. Look, if your company is good, competent and makes money in an honest way, they will not have this manager in that position just because she looks good, but because she's competent. I know for some people it works very well for their confidence to dress nice and to look good. You may be right to think she's vulgar (and that the rest of the company/bosses are stupid enough not to see it and that they lose money because of her), but it's also possible that you are just afraid to deal with her based on her looks and not her actual competence.

    • Like 1
  6. 29th October - 2nd November:

    I visited my family on Saturday, went out with the girl on Sunday and have been having a normal week, except the fact that I caught a cold. I'll get through it, even though it's annoying to not be 100% for the last few days.

     

  7. 20th October - 28th October:

    I haven't been in the mood to write much here the past few days, but I'll give some brief update:

    Went to a geographic conference from my uni on Thursday. I translated for and kept company to one Swiss professor. The organizing professor promised me some stipend for my service. It's pretty cool that I can also branch out from English teaching by going to events such as these, so I hope to keep the trace warm for the future.

    Been busy with the family as well, I will be involved in a reconstruction of the kitchen for my grandma.

    Business mentoring by the uni is going well, definitely getting a lot of new ideas for the future and working on some of them now.

    I kissed the girl I've been going out with roughly once a week for the past month. I can say she did a good job leading me in. We've been taking it slow; kissing on the fourth date is mostly considered "late" 😄

    • Like 1
  8. 16th October - 19th October:

    At the weekend, I worked on the internship assignment, went for a walk, baked, read about finance and met with the girl. Played table football tournament on Monday and worked as usual yesterday.

    ---

    Copying the below to my upcoming monthly report:

    I think quitting games matured quickly and brutally overall, including in my relationship to women. I can say I am attracted to the girl I have been seeing. She gives me more than enough signs that its mutual. I don't think I am wrong, but I've been surprised before 😄

    I have to scout her behavior for a longer time to see how (in)secure she is. She's capable of being independent, based on the things she's done in the past, so I am not sure whether she's just trying to seem more "approachable" for me to make a move on or whether it's a bigger issue. I don't want to have a clingy girlfriend.

  9. 6 hours ago, Paul A. said:

    Outside of work, I spend most of the day sleeping, just out of sheer boredom. This isn’t any way to live, but I don’t know how to fix it.

    I don't know how much you gamed and for how many hours a day, however for me it has easily been several years (since 13-14 until I was 21) for dozens of hours a week. Cut yourself some slack. You can feel like this for weeks and months just to get out eventually. I'm sure I loathed my lifestyle/gaming for at least a few years until I came here. Stay with us 🙂

    6 hours ago, Paul A. said:

    I just turned 20, and evidently your 20s are supposed to be the time of your life. But I’m definitely not having the time of my life right now.

    I am 25 and I enjoy my life, however I think this "senseless nostalgia" truly sets only in the heads of weak-minded people. That's not to say I don't have some nice memories of being a kid or teenager, but I wouldn't want to live that time again. I wouldn't want to go back to the time of gaming all day, my parents telling me what to do all the time, not having money to do anything (and going to school instead) or being rejected by any non-virtual social group. I believe the best time to live is "now", no matter what age you are.

    • Like 3
  10. I'm using the template I used the last time. 11/09/21 - 15/10/21


    "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.

    I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.


    ---

     

    Books/Reading articles:

    L: I finished Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment" (in English). It is a well-written book, gripping and divided into chapters that could be read in about 30 minutes.  I've been reading a lot of finance/lifestyle blogs to have inspiration for my own blog posts. Zero on the newsletters, but that's OK.

    T: I read "Master and Margarita", currently getting through "The Magic of Thinking Big". Restarted the newsletters.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Continue getting through the newsletters.

    (Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.

     

    Family:

    L: Nothing special this month.

    T: Met up with my family members separately on different occasions. We've been dealing with the issue of future inheritance and we have all agreed on it.

    NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Continue working on bettering the relationships with my family.

     

    University:

    L: 100/120 hours now, so 20 hours remaining of the internship. Granted I'll be away the whole next week and the week after the uni (and more courses) start, I'm happy I managed to do most of it by now. I have the schedule for the uni already. No searching of sources for the masters' because internship takes precedence.

    T: 105/120 hours on the internship. The uni starting, projects for classes, diploma thesis... it's been a lot. I feel like I am scrambling to prioritize right and execute, though I'm confident I can manage all of it. I'll do whatever is necessary and I'll be fine.

    NOT: I don't want to drop out of the university.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Find an internship for summer.

    Find more sources for my upcoming masters' thesis during the summer.

    Work on the assignments in a timely manner.

     

    Job/English:

    L: I finished some small improvements on the website. I also got checked out some materials from the uni business courses I got in June. However it seems I won't be able to attend these continuation bi-weekly seminars due to a collision in my own uni schedule.

    In other news, the work will be plentiful. Some students are coming back after the summer break and my schedule is quite packed, especially together with the university. It should work out though, I don't think I need to drop any courses.

    T: I had 29 hours this week and 28 hours the last. My workday (I'm including the uni too) usually begins at 7 or 8 and finishes around 8 as well, normally with at least an hour or two of free time during lunchtime, but sometimes more.

    I've been having the mentoring classes and bi-weekly seminars (decided to make time for them) and they've been a great help in terms of moving my business forward and coming up with new ideas. I'm gonna implement some of the easier improvements this weekend. For example, I did a business analysis of my students/clients a few weeks ago to better understand the people I meet.

    Maybe I've mentioned it before, but with my job position and demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.

    NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Take pictures with my F2F students for the website.

    Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.

    Create a client persona for both B2B and B2C.

    Update my website to reflect the new ideas and inspiration from the web.

    Look into strategies in becoming truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between.

    Check out a few more seminars on how to run online courses. / English research

     

    Exercise/Movement:

    L: Some walking and cycling, although I am not sure if that's enough. Some days I don't do either. Gotta think about this more.

    T: I've been biking regularly to work/uni. This month I even cycled to my family (35) or to pick up my car (20). I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically part of my job and uni duties. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change. I sometimes go for a walk over the weekend, as I normally don't have time to take a two hour walking/reading session during the week.

    NOT: I don't want to become fat.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Keep in shape.

     

    Women/Dating:

    L:

    Spoiler

    I learnt that perhaps I do not have as hard-core of a monogamous mentality as I thought I would have. I'm also probably more aware than ever that everybody is fucked up, including myself. There are a few women I could think of in the romantic plane in my area. I don't think it makes much sense to be writing about specific women though. I came to the realization that planning in this area is usually cumbersome and counterproductive.

    I cut one of the relationships, did sex and I'm keeping my eyes peeled.

    I was predicting the change in my sexual mindset and behavior for a long time. I behaved and acted in line with it. I just needed the reality to catch up on it; similarly to that when I was gaming, I got fired from the post office several days after I quit gaming, because most of my (unsatisfactory) work there was done when I was still gaming.

    In the past, I believe I looked at the more obvious sexual displays of others with both distaste and envy at the same time. Especially when I thought that I have no other option than to sit and do nothing or to get drunk and hope that something happens. It just took some time to internalize that the thing standing between me and a good (even if only sexual) relationship with a woman is... me.

    As long as there are two consenting adults, whatever goes. Whether it's a good idea or not is another question (given the circumstances), but I won't villanify that behavior a priori anymore.

    That said, a horrible relationship is better than none at all. The cataclysmic end of my last one was likely the trigger for me to quit games for good. Nothing is forcing anyone to stay and die in a horrible relationship, except the lack of options in one's head. (December 20)

    I learnt a lot about the sexuality of women over the past few weeks by spending time with the Spanish girl. I learnt a bunch about my sexuality as well. I also learnt relationships can be more nuanced. It's been a great learning experience so far. (January/February)

    I've spent about two months with the Spanish girl and this morning she left home for three weeks, after which she should come back. I feel that she's into me, that she cares about me and that she doesn't want to lose me (be it to another relationship or due to some quarrel between us, though I find the latter less likely), though at the same time I feel we both want to assert ourselves to leave other options available. In my case to find someone more "permanent" to date/be together with, because I know she'll be gone in the summer. In her case it's different relationship philosophy and uniqueness of every relationship.

    To explain that further, she actually encouraged me to meet other girls to see what might come out of it, which is generally something I am not 100% confident at and could use some practice in. Regardless, despite our differences, I feel that we're willing to respect each other and not argue about them. (March)

    We had a few talks together with the Spanish girl and decided we wouldn't carry on with the sexual element in our relationship. It was the first time for her trying to amalgamate sexual and affectionate relationship into one and the second time for me. I decided to take her for her word and not to push her into something she doesn't want or isn't sure about. I sensed/noticed that it's not the first time she's having difficulty in continuing the relationship in the current setting. I think that a part of good relationship is the ability to respect "no" as a "no" and it's definitely one of the things I want in all my relationships that go deeper.

    I'm actually somewhat surprised by how romantic the relationship has come to be. I think we are both considerate of each other and already value each other to go through this in an abrupt or otherwise bad way. I feel a sense of loss in a way, but I think various factors chimed in to dampen it. Besides, I have learnt a lot about various sexual topics and I grew more confident in this regard. It's very liberating to be playful and inventive too!

    This one is actually only a few days old, but I do feel attracted to one girl and I want to have sex with her, although I don't think something long-term could come out of it due to the factual differences that we have. Hooray for being human! (April)

    We've been flirting and dancing around around with the girl from April. I told her we're gonna do something together after I am done with the finals and I want to keep that promise. I'm not 100% sure if it's the right move, but I'm gonna take the opportunity regardless. (May)

    There are some situations with the girl where we do get close, although from some situations I also understand that I don't want to be too closely involved with her and neither does she. Though I like her physically and I think she's aiming at good things in life, I feel she constantly needs to put herself in messy/highly emotional situations and states. I can joke about it and laugh it off with her as her friend, but it'd be very different if I decided to be a more unpredictable variable in her life.

    That doesn't mean random and unpredictable sex can't happen. The last week I had sex with a friend from the dorms I've known for over a year. We were both tipsy, though I think we were both surprised how that evening ended up happening.

    I've been having thoughts about the time with the Spanish girl, meaning there could still be something I need to decode. I didn't talk to her before she left to Spain about a month ago and nor I gave her the letter I wrote and planned to give her. Regardless, I've thought about the topic myself. I found that the main idea is to take it as it is, regardless of what the reasons of her sudden April "cut" were. I also believe that sometimes the more loving and more courageous decision is to walk away to prevent more hurt and pain, whether due to toxicity (my X) or time constraints (Spanish girl?). One of the things that "got" me closer together to her was the care. She really did care for me as my mom or grandma would, which I noticed when she was adamant about the fact I needed to see the doctor. The fact that we could also agree to disagree was amazing as well. Lastly, she did catalyze more effort from my side to get to know my family better and closer.

    Talking to one of my friends, she said the average masturbation for her is better than the average sex. I found that quite surprising, as I've never thought that would be the case for anyone.

    To end on a good note, I met an interesting girl yesterday in the evening and wrote her on Messenger today. I really should meet even more new people. We'll see what comes out of this. (June/July)

    I noticed that I am thinking more outside of my head about this topic and around friends which is good. (August/September)

    I'm fairly positive I am making progress in this area. It's really only about having the guts to say hi and then making the ask to meet. It needs to become the routine, if I want to have some control over this aspect of my life. The end-result doesn't actually matter. And I'm aware I will make mistakes, get myself in stupid situations, get used and whatnot, but it's all in the game. I'm fairly adamant and determined in this. I've done a lot of scouting recently, so I got some "hard data" on a few girls I was interested in. (September/October)

    To put a real example here, I'm currently making an effort to find dates and a girlfriend. I met a girl last Monday, had a good chat with her for a while, wrote her to meet up and she agreed. Five minutes into the second meeting, I found out she had a boyfriend, yet I didn't just turn around on my heel, as I promised her a walk around the city she doesn't know. I spent some two hours with her, had a good conversation with her, found out she's a good speaker and discussed some views on philosophy and politics.

    The advice I could take from this regarding my dating life: Be more aware of social situations when I am first interacting with a girl I like and be better at scouting to find out whether she's already seriously dating someone or not. Then again, I got something I wasn't expecting but is valuable as well: thinking about reconsidering some of my life views through a good debate.

    All in all, it's impossible to answer the question: Was it a success or a failure? Well, It depends on how I choose to look at it. (Oct/Nov 21)

    I've been meeting one girl for about a month now, both in a planned way but also running into her randomly. She seems shy, a maverick/lone-wolf to a great extent, but also quite honest. I think it's gonna be interesting. Gonna meet her on Monday and do something together again. (Nov)

    So I've been out a few times with the Georgian girl I met at the beginning of October. She's fun to be around, likes my analytical mind and so we sometimes grapple intellectually. She's also kind and I'd argue more compassionate then I am. We're gonna plan something together the next week too. I'm fairly unaware about where this is going, so I'm leaving this go its own way. The only thing that's for sure is that she leaves at the end of January.

    What I've been probably happiest about that this area of my life seems to have some traction, as I felt there was none during the summer until the end of September. What's also worth noting is that this one of the areas with the most shades of gray and trial and error I've been in. I can absolutely not plan for an outcome. It's as much about knowing the other person as it is about knowing myself. (Jan 22)

    Things have been going pretty well with the Georgian girl. She's gonna stay here until June and I myself might go to Germany for Erasmus in April, if the situation permits. It's nice to have somebody close to me to share things and try new things with every now and then. She's intellectually bright and can challenge me on a few things, so she also gives me the mirror sometimes.

    She's also good at English and had some interviews already. She negotiated even a bit higher rate than I did. She actually gave me the impulse to revisit the payment I get from language schools this early. (Jan)

    February and March have been pretty good with the Georgian girl and I believe we both enjoyed it. I'm happy that we managed to get the things we wanted to get done together. We will continue to date, until the distance is just too much to bear. She's going to have a more complicated schedule in April with a lot of traveling and in mid-May she's going to move to another city, which is however reachable on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. I hope to post an update on this when the time comes. (Feb/Mar)

    In April, we've been apart for about two weeks and there's one more week until she moves to another city for the internship. We spent a lot of time together this week.

    I've entertained the idea to have a long-distance relationship until I/we are able to be in one place or to change location at will. My plans are to do the Erasmus in Bulgaria and finish the masters at the uni in early 2024 and after that I am completely location-independent - until then, I am to an extent bound in my current city. The money is not necessarily the issue either; although it's usually more expensive to travel than to stay in one place, I expect my financial situation to be healthy. It's not unrealistic, but we'll see. (Apr/May)

    We've been seeing for weekends. My girlfriend even made a surprise visit today, traveling to my hometown for the weekend. (Jun/Jul)

    Made a promise to not watch "porn" to my girlfriend. Our relationship is very warm. We shared some nasty secrets about one another and I think that bound us even closer. She's leaving back to Georgia in mid-August. We plan on seeing once or twice more and deciding what's next. (Jul/Aug)

    She told me she doesn't want to have a long-distance relationship when she leaves in two weeks, partly because she already has the experience of long-distance for three years and she doesn't want to go through that again. I did cry (which I haven't in at least a few months, if not years), although I do not feel heartbroken. I take it as it is. Life's good.

    She's been a great friend to me and I believe she will be in the future too. I believe she made her decision after contemplating it for a long time. I know she likes me, loves me. And because she's a great friend of mine, I won't question her judgement and try to convince her of something else. She knows what she would go through if she had another long-distance relationship. She has the right to say "no" to it and act in her best interest.

    The malicious part of my mind keeps telling me that I am a rejected loser, as I was unable to convince her to continue the relationship. I think the malicious part takes inspiration from concurrent culture/TV or my past experiences with women. However I decided to have the relationships I want now, not based on templates that somebody tries to feed me or on what happened before.

    The good thing about the "romance" in the relationship is that it has a closure I can understand and get by. So while the pain is inevitable and it sucks we won't see each other anymore, the suffering is next to none, as I don't pity myself or second guess something, as I did with the Spanish girl.

    Another great thing about the relationship is that I never needed to "act like a man" or "extort" something from her. We always said what we wanted, more or less straight up. Not playing mind-games saves a lot of energy and even if we argued sometimes (about something philosophically significant; not about who is going to wash the dishes), we just acknowledged the differences and moved on. This also meant acknowledging our negative personality traits - she is often too disorganized and bad at planning things, whereas I can be sometimes condescending and arrogant (I think I share that trait with my father). (Aug/Sep)

    IMPORTANT - I thrive when I have an equal partner in a relationship. I also have experience to see obvious red flags contrary to that a mile away. In a relationship, I can be sometimes condescending or arrogant. I know what I want in a relationship. I won't sell myself short in a relationship. (Sep/Oct)

    T: I saw a girl on Monday, we started chatting two weeks ago because we share one subject at the university and decided to meet together, because we are writing a lot. She's quite talkative, seems like the nervous type, though she seems to have some tactical tools to help her with that, like good hobby structure and calendar. We'll see. Going out with her again tomorrow.

    Possible direction/goals:

    Look around and relax. I have done well.

    Set up at least two dates a month.

    -----

    Digital maintenance - removed, no news. Keeping it around in case there are some changes as placeholder.

    ---

    What to do if I am bored?

    Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading, cleaning, washing the dishes, business ideas, uni work, blogging

    Replacement activities for 2 hours: going to the gym, going for a walk

    -----

    Additional thoughts/activities:

    My hobbies are: personal finance, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging and geography.

    This month, I did these cool activities: going out for a week to Hungary, taking part in social events, meeting friends, working on my business, going to the shooting range, blogging.

    ---

    Add-on:

    I enjoy writing articles, however I am not enjoying the process of how to actually set up the blog, whether I should try and make some money off of it. I think I will, but I won't go on writing e-books, providing courses and whatnot. Just a few affiliate links for the services I like. This allows me to focus on writing and not fret over something I don't even know I want to do. This reminded me of what @BooksandTrees once wrote - hobbies are not work.

    There are tentative plans to meet the Georgian girl again in a few months. I'd like to combine it together with some Erasmus+ project as well.

    • Like 3
  11. 3 hours ago, Paul A. said:

    This is helpful. I tend to get obsessed with monetizing every hobby I pick up, and it sucks the fun right out of it. So moving forward I’ll try to get into activities just to enjoy them, rather than to monetize them in the future. Thanks for your input

    That's also part of it, although I am not sure if I put the idea forward correctly. The main thing for me is to spend the time in a meaningful way, both work and free. You don't seem to have that now. It's okay if it turns out the hobbies you decided to try suck in the end and you can move on from them. The same goes for the job, but the last time I quit my job, without having an idea and a concrete plan on how to replace it, was no less horrible than working said job. Having a job means money, structure, social connections and other good things. True unemployment is really taxing on the psyche.

    • Like 1
  12. On 10/12/2022 at 3:59 PM, LostRiver said:

    I want to drool over your work ethic coupled with balanced life (and on top of all that sobriety!): but this is something that awes me the most. As a game + tech addict, I always need some dopamine by the way of gaming of browsing stuffs on my phone. I find it really really hard to "zone out" without cravings. I almost do not know how to naturally zone out I guess haha

    It's always good to see the Moderator keeping his life together while having fun 😁

    I tried to quit a few times before I came to GQ, so I think it's rather a coincidence that I am "sober" since day 1 here. I think I just realized it's a life-death thing for me down the road. The whole quitting experience matured me quickly and brutally, but I am doing much better now.

    I use my computer often enough for my work, so I have very little desire or need to go on my phone. I have the "Digital Well-being" system app on and I regularly spend less than an hour on my phone a day. Sometimes I do get bored without the phone or computer, but I realize that's natural and I go wash the dishes or clean the room. There's always something to do.

    Thanks for your message 🙂

    • Like 1
  13. If it's easy for you to pick up a new hobby, it might be worthwhile to start with something that is "universally" useful. It could be going for walks, exercising, reading a book, volunteering or whatever. I noticed everything most of the hobbies you want to try require phone or computer. That makes it very easy to just switch to YT or watching series whenever you want, which is probably something you don't want long-term.

    I also realized that it's better for me to be good at a few things, rather than perfect at one. You don't need to be the best programmer in your town or the king of the salespeople. Just see if what you do makes sense and/or if you enjoy it and go from there. I don't think that it matters a lot whether you can monetize it or not at this point.

    • Like 1
  14. 11 hours ago, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

    Since I stopped sharing my art daily and decided I would just make one big post in early November and just feature my favorites... I have had so much less pressure to get it perfect every time. I'm truly drawing just for myself now and it feels amazing. I really need to focus on working in obscurity and make peace with the fact that I may always be obscure.

    Yeah, I find that hobbies are the easiest to do when there are no expectations from the outside. Yes, you can get money/recognition if you publish your art, but it's on you whether you will actually share it with others or not. I haven't published my money blog articles either and that's fine.

    • Like 1
  15. 7th October - 11th October:

    I worked at the internship, started a new book and handled some family business about future inheritance. I also worked on my university projects. At the weekend, I cycled 35 kilometers total to visit my family and 20 kilometers today to pick up my car. I'm feeling pretty tired now.

    ---

    I clocked in 28 hours of teaching last week, on top of 11 hours of uni lectures and 7 hours of uni projects. That's quite some active workload.

    My weekends usually fall into heavy relaxation zone, where I do some important thing in the morning, maybe after lunch. After that in the afternoon, I go for a walk, watch a film and zone out for the rest of the day. I tried to write on my blog over the weekend, but I couldn't come up with a topic despite reading five other articles by different writers.

    I'm wondering whether I am a workaholic or not. Maybe English online teaching is my replacement for (online) gaming. Stimulation to correct, improve and the need to pay attention most of the times. I can say that having 8 classes (like today) is tiring, though there's a limit on that and I can say "enough". I actually make money too, unlike streaming 😄

    I have social life normally after I finish my workday at 7 or 8; I have a quick beer in the student's pub and go to bed at 11 or so.

    I saw a girl yesterday, we started chatting two weeks ago because we share one subject at the university and decided to meet together, because we are writing a lot. She's quite talkative, seems like the nervous type, though she seems to have some tactical tools to help her with that, like good hobby structure and calendar. We'll see.

    • Like 1
  16. 2nd October - 6th October:

    Spent Sunday reading, did a bit of uni stuff, customer analysis of my students and watched another thriller movie.

    I was busy the first three days of the week, on top of visiting my mom sort of out of schedule and getting the needed part for my car, so it can be fixed in the next few days. I don't need to use my car every day (thankfully I have made a lifestyle that doesn't require far away commuting), but I still find it difficult to make do without it.

    Had a bit of time to write my diary today, gonna have to make a move on the many uni projects tomorrow and at the weekend, as well as to visit my family.

  17. 8 hours ago, Paul A. said:

    I tend to get too excited when I make decisions, without considering how I may feel after all is said and done. I’ve made a lot of big decisions in the moment that I ended up regretting after. I’m glad I didn’t this time.

    That's a good thing to notice about yourself.

    • Like 1
  18. 29th September - 1st October:

    I biked every day of the workweek (at least 20 minutes). I went for a walk today as well. I still think I need even more exercise in my life. And less masturbation.

    I was supposed to go for the weekend to a cottage with a few guys from high-school, however I decided not to in the end. I felt there were more pressing matters with the uni coming up and other stuff I need to take care of, so I worked on that today and will work on that tomorrow.

    I talked to my friend in the evening yesterday. He said I have a great start at 25 (he's 28 himself) to life with all the things I'm working on and that I have, but he himself also admitted that he doesn't have a bad life either.

    I've written this many times, but some four years ago, my life was a disaster. Uni dropout, army dropout, no plan, crumbling relationship with my X, no friends, cold family relationships... and it has turned around. I was born again on the day I first wrote here. I can take some credit for that, but not all of it. I hold only a few things in complete reverence and the act and experience of quitting gaming is one of them.

    • Like 1
  19. 4 hours ago, Paul A. said:

    As more and more people are getting hired at my workplace, I’m more motivated to get out of there as fast as possible. I don’t want to compete with other salespeople for customers. My heart just isn’t in it. There was a stretch of about a month where I was incredibly motivated, but that motivation has long since dried up. Either way, I want to leave that sales job as quickly as I can so I can transition into web development.

    I can relate, I had this kind of employments too. What's funny is that what I always questioned about English teaching what not whether I was capable of doing it or whether I liked it (that was just given) but whether I could make money from it. This however was in the incubator for a long time, since I left the army in summer 2018 (started uni again in fall 2018) until I started making enough money to be cash-flow positive in autumn 2020. People are generally OK with university students taking their time to do something useful, so I wasn't under that much pressure. Regardless, I found out through the many jobs and internships that I don't prefer to have a love/hate relationship and strong emotions at work; maybe in my life overall. I'm pretty convinced at this point that one of my core life values is stability.

    4 hours ago, Paul A. said:

    But what I am decent at is investments. I used to take investing very seriously, and I educated myself a lot on the subject. I once had a lot of money tied up in crypto, and I even made a decent profit off it (I lost it all due to market volatility, but I digress).

    I realized I don't have the nerves, the knowledge or the interest to be an active investor, so I am just putting everything into low-cost world stock ETFs. I think anything with +10% return a year (consistently!) involves the need to get educated on the topic more. I don't like having strong emotions when it comes to investing either, so no crypto for me 😄

    4 hours ago, Paul A. said:

    I bring all this up to say that I respect the value of investing money as opposed to saving money. If I have money tied up in investments, appreciating and growing in value, I’m much less prone to spending it frivolously. That’s because I find investing a lot more beneficial and a lot more exciting than saving. In a sense, my investment account has become my savings account. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to have a bit of money in savings (I’m sure @Ikar would kill me if I didn’t, haha), but I’d rather keep the bulk of it in investments.

    You are right we need both saving and investing to build wealth. Personally, 90% of my money is invested in the market. 10% is cash and savings to get me through a few months of no income. I'm feeling fine, even if the markets aren't 🙂

    • Like 1
  20. 25th September - 28th September:

    A lot of things is going on at the moment. We have public holiday today, however I still have two classes in the afternoon.

    First, I sent the mail and went for a consultation about the topic of my thesis on Sunday. Though I don't have the exact topic in mind yet, it helped to talk things through with my tutor.

    I wrote another article for my blog. It's been over a month since I wrote my first one, so I just need to get the domain operational to start promoting it.

    I met my brother for lunch on Monday.

    One of the locks on my car got messed up, so I had to take it to the mechanic. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to find the spare parts through his own channels, so this might drag on. This sucks, because I wanted to use the car at the weekend. I'm also currently dealing with some family stuff and the car would've been nice to have, but it's OK, I'll handle it.

    Fixed a flat tube on my bike today after I hit something on the road to my students yesterday. It was the first one I managed to fix myself. Hooray! 🙂

    ---

    I had an interesting business mentoring session that was organized by the university today morning. I got a lot of input and a lot of questions to answer. Suffice to say that I need to beware of being too rigid in my approach. In some ways, I need to work smarter and not harder or more and explore what's possible and available. I feel I am reaching the ceiling of my time constraints. I should have ~30 hours of classes the next week, on top of ~15 hours of university classes. It's my duty to be as effective and efficient with the that time, while still having time for myself.

    • Like 1
  21. 6 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

    Something I'm dealing with is socializing again. I think the pandemic was actually nice for me because I recall writing in 2020 and 2019 how I thought a lot of my friends provided surface level friendship and nothing deeper. Barely any of these people talked in the pandemic and now they're coming out of the woodwork asking to catch up. I have tried socializing a lot since July and I'm a little tired of it.

    At this point, I'm only going to see people I care about. There are some people trying to talk to me to catch up and I'm tired of it. The pandemic has given me the confidence to realize I can be fine on my own and with my fiancee. I don't need to keep seeing people or need to see people. It doesn't matter. A good example of this is I was the best man at one person's wedding. I was one of his only friends because he puts zero effort into friends. I hated everyone at the wedding except for a few people. I don't talk to any of them anymore. It feels wonderful. 

    I've made it a point to stick to seeing about 5 friends and keep those friendships strong. The others are going to stay acquaintances. 

    I feel what you're writing. I think my social groups are fairly diverse and that I am keeping in contact with a lot of people too these last few months.

    I think only 5% of all the people I know and currently meet are friends I would meet in order to solve some emergency or go out with them alone. Another 15% of the people are fun to hang out with, but I don't have a strong tie with them. I haven't gone out anywhere with them alone, though it's possible that I would or will (girls I'd date and people that are just good company fall here). The 75% I just don't care about and they just "happen" to be there whenever I go somewhere.

    I'm happy that things are going well for you and your fiancee! A lot of the social needs depend on the type of the relationship you have. I can say for myself that my relationships work the best when my girlfriend is also my best friend.

    • Like 1
  22. 5 hours ago, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

    I'm not in any financial trouble right now, I am not even one cent in debt (and how many Americans can say that??) I no longer live in hoard and squalor. Clearly my "shopping addiction" is really not that bad. It's still good to be mindful of it but honestly the last thing I need is one more thing to stress out about. 

    Good job! It definitely refutes the message that being debt-free is only for rich people. I still find it astonishing people go into debt for things other than housing (and maybe, but just maybe, investing). It's unseemly. I don't blame them, it's just sad to see that a lot of people are so uneducated in the topic.

    • Like 1
    • Like 1
  23. 20th September - 24th September:

    22nd September - I spent the past three days either teaching or in classes at the uni for eight hours. I got another offer from a new student, but I feel I am on the verge of what I can realistically take work-wise.

    24th September - It's not as bad as I thought, I do have free time, just less. I'll deal with it. I finished some work for the internship, visited my family and voted at the communal elections today. Gotta put in some work for the thesis tomorrow.

    • Like 1
  24. 8 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

    Great posts. I agree with what you said that I said about hobbies not being work lol. 

    I just had a breakthrough of my own with hobbies and finding a process I enjoy. I think it's easy to find something we're interested in but the hobby needs to progress with the path of least resistance for it to flow well.

    We get caught up being so linear in progression. An example of this is I've been playing the drums to absolutely random songs I find and read the tabs twice while playing, then move onto another song. I hit bored perfecting like 4 songs. 

    I agree, the secret is not to over-complicate things. If I want to write, I don't need to think about marketing strategy. I should just write.

    Linear progression may work well with mechanical tasks, but not with creative ones. I wrote about it at more length in another post, the short story is that these two always work together.

    • Like 1
  25. 8 hours ago, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

    I don't think you necessarily need to delete everything right away to quit. I know it's really hard. Sunk cost fallacy is keeping me from deleting my Origin account because I spent over $500 on The Sims.

    Speaking of which, I still have my Steam account worth about the same amount. I just haven't touched any games on it for three and a half years.

    1 hour ago, Paul A. said:

    But if there’s one thing holding me back, it’s the social aspect. I have a good friend of mine that I play with regularly, and deleting my account would cut off our main source of communication. It wouldn’t be so much of a big deal if he didn’t live in another state. Other than that, I don’t have much else of a reason to keep the account around.

    If you really want to keep in contact with the guy and believe you have something worthwhile to talk about besides gaming, you can use Messenger, WhatsApp, Discord or any other chat application. I kept chatting on Discord with one guy who used to watch my streams until about a year ago.

    • Like 1