PureDiscipline

Welcome back Zane (huzzah!) Sorry to hear about your friend, although even if any one of us were to become quadriplegic i think wanting to die as an alternative would be a huge waste. Just because life could change doesn't mean its worth throwing it away . Funny thing happens to people who end up in wheel chairs, once they come to terms with being in a wheelchair they just go on living life. Happiness is a mindset, not something that we obtain from having X amount of dollars or a gf thats a 9 on the hot scale. Money reduces financial stress but besides that we don't need money to be happy (its why millionaires still commit suicide, and some of the poorest people in the world are still very happy). There's definitely a lot you should have to be happy for and maybe with a shift in perspective you might find the happiness you want. Im with you on the karaoke thing though, that challenge terrifies me beyond measure, would much rather endure 100 injections or have the flu for a month. Looking forward to your posts!

Day 68- 68 days game free 33 days weed free Gotta be honest, im surprised i made it over a month without the Ganja, been hard at work playing roughly 8 hours a day and studying or reading 3 to 4 besides that. Nothing too exciting to report besides the fact that iv not eaten meat for going on a week or so i guess after reading more of The China Study book. Now that iv done a month without weed im unsure whether i wish to break that month break and get very very baked then meditate or contemplate something deeply, or if im just going to stick to my sober ways. I really need to learn how to cook though, eating non-meat options is hard and iv been ordering food 5 days a week in which is starting to rack up some serious costs lol.

Day 51 - 59 days game free 16 days weed free Sydney is awesome! In the last week iv had a thorough walk around the neighborhood and set up. Every day has more or less just been wake up, work, watch an ep of orange is the new black & then read till sleep. The place im staying had an upkept garden on the roof that iv started working on as a side project which is cool since i never really learned any of that stuff. Also finished How to win friends & influence people finally (5 stars) & am currently reading through a pretty bosslike book about meditation called The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh. The pages have gotten so deep that iv had to re-read chapters to understand the concepts going on but its making me see the practicality of meditation on a whole new level which is awesome When i get some time i plan on going down to the Judo gym & rock climbing gym. I plan on starting Judo as a new form of exercise and gain some skills and friends while im at it. Seems competitive and fun which is what im hoping for, and anything i can sink my competitive teeth into seems a lot better then just lifting weights (never personally enjoyed it). Im gradually growing a lot more comfortable with healthy eating and plan on trying out the whole 'vegan' thing just for curiosity sake and a change of pace. Gaming front wise I've not had any urges or interest in any of it. I feel reasonably comfortable that im not going to have anymore future issues so i guess the rest of these journal entries won't so much be about any struggles but more improvements, new interests and what not. Pics below!

Welcome

Zane, you still there? Its been a month

?There was a combination of things that worked for me in relation to pulling together and finally sticking to routine. (these are just what helped me, i will try not preach) The diary: evaluates and gets thoughts out on paper & can then create, review and update goals regularly. Its relaxing, and helpful and makes me understand more of my thoughts and emotions. Meditation: It makes me more aware as to what my mind and body are saying. And when i stick to it consistently i feel happy and more empowered. I cannot stress how much this changed my life and gave me a better understanding of how to be happy even when life is tough. Diet: I went paleo and found that my lifestyle changed a lot. It was hard because i love carbs. But it broke my sugar and carb addiction and made me lose a bunch of weight, clear my mind and feel so much happier. Regular socializing: It was the void i personally filled with addictions, once i filled the void with what i actually needed the addictions were not as bad. Consistent bedtimes (super important) - i wish i had done this when i was 18. It took me 5 years to finally implement it and the results were wonderful Vision and inspiration: This parts important but also difficult. Creating goals is actually a very complex topic and there are many books on it. Inspiration is what drives you through any time that you find hard. And its not something that can be faked, you've genuinely gotta become inspired. For me personally it was to make my parents proud & support them. And also inspirational figures like the Dalai Lama & Warren Buffett who i look up to and follow the teachings of both. Finally start small when you do something, in fact if you struggle start so small that you can't find a reason to say no. And never start too full on, you will burn out (i did this a thousand times) and end up back at square one. And you will be amazed how just doing 1 little thing on something a day will impact it. Personally i reinforce this with the diary setting up my tasks for the next day that are linked to my long term goals. And i always review my long term goals before the day starts. Being that the only moment i really can utilize is the current, i always make sure that my day has at least 1 little task on each life goal im working towards. No matter how small. You have cold showers because it invigorates the body, shocks your immune system into power and keeps you healthier as a result. If you wish to understand more about cold therapy check the Vice documentary on Iceman. Part of the teachings of meditation are about forgiveness. The basic idea is....whats happened has happened. And you can't change that. Now that brings you to a cross road. You can either wallow in it bringing negativity and sadness into your life. Or you can learn to accept that something has happened, and that you can learn from the mistake and that one day all of these mistakes will lead you on the path your currently walking to becoming a better person. Meditation helped me in a lot of respects (& again, writing calms the mind). As far as waking up earlier, sleep bot is a pro tip. It wakes you up when your not in a REM period of sleep so you wake earlier feeling like you've been hit by a truck. Also try setting the soundtrack or music to something that either makes you feel energetic or awake. For me i use the sounds of the track: Foggy stream on the Calm app on my phone. Iv associated it with being awake and attentive. So when i hear it i perk up

Day 43 - 43 days game free 1 days weed free Iv been preparing for the move for a while now, i have most of my bags packed and have gone around and seen most of my friends. I did break my non-smoke streak and in the process learned a bunch about social manipulation and behavior and positioning during the high which was interesting. Essentially i was more able to break down my past events and see how i got to the point i did, as well as get a better perspective on my personality and try understand why i seem to take a niche position in groups. During the moving preparation period as expected i ran through an array of emotions towards the idea of leaving behind everybody i know in search of new endeavors. And as to be expected had everything from sadness to excitement to worry and anger. Thanks to meditation instead of just being moody i was better able to identify the emotions and just label them and identify that i am experiencing them as well as figure out why im experiencing that emotion, address the issue and move on from it. Im now feeling a lot more comfortable with the whole move and am rather excited. I learned more about the addiction problem and process too. I noticed that during the array of emotions i was more inclined to go back to all old habits from weed to biting nails to everything id quit (i didn't break the ones that were most important to me). But in the process i felt how stress used to be a trigger towards gaming and understandably so. But that i have sort of moved past that, and out of all the addictions in my life it would be the last one id fall back on to if i was to at all. I read a booklet about general addictions and one phrase stuck out for me "Drugs are only for those who can't handle reality". Which could also be reworded and remembered as a tool to avoid gaming. So im strengthening precautions on weed and if i can't control it on a once monthly usage basis then i plan on dropping it all together and never touching it again. Its another 5 days till i make the move and in that time i am expecting any general feeling i currently have to intensify a little bit at times. So im upping the meditation and reconfirming regularly the reasoning's and pros to moving so i feel less worried about it. I saw an interesting documentary about Methamphetamine in a drug called 'Yaba' in Thailand which was interesting. Specially since the price of the drug there is only $5-6 usd. Thai Meth Epidemic and Vomit Rehab Seems the more the world gains an understanding about addictions in general and how science devellops on the subject, that everything would be one step closer to being a happier safer environment. While in Australia i plan on making as many beneficial life changes as i can and developing as much self sufficiency, confidence and distance from negativity as possible. My only wish is that i had booked the plane tickets sooner

Day 38 - 38 days game free 18 days weed free Yesterday my sisters 21st bday went down, plenty of fun, speeches and socializing. I had a beer for the first time in 6 or 7 months and got reminded why i don't drink (that dehydrated unhealthy feeling kicked in). But the interesting part happened when i went to sleep. I had a dream about playing a video game and woke up (im being serious) in a cold sweat. Like it was a nightmare or something, i freaked out for the good part of 10 minutes in my morning haze while i came to the realization that i hadn't actually played any video games. I never quite thought id ever get that reaction lol After which i talked to a good friend in the poker scene and i have decided to make the move to Australia earlier then expected. Instead of moving over at the end of the year like i had planned, im gonna fly over in the next week or so and stay at a friends house till we get a more permanent setting. I can't say i ever pictured myself moving away from home this early which is quite exciting. Something that i think about time to time is when games eventually progress to the stage of being in the stage of playing a game using a headset that creates the game in whatever environment you choose to put it in. Does it now become a viable option to treat it as a form of fun exercise? Or would that be dancing with the devil and potentially lead back to the same problem experienced before. I know having a justification in my head that makes something okay means that i could fall into a series of problems, so i feel im going to have to emphasize the cons to myself on that technology when its released and focus on the pros of doing things away from it.

Congratz the front runner on the forum for this stuff. Awesome

?Good idea but if i sell the ps4 i wanted the money lol, they've taken it hostage

? If you do start at queenstown! Auckland the main city really has nothing special or interesting about it. Its just another generic city, and i wouldn't recommend comming here (as most of my Australian friends say when they come over, there really isn't much to do here or of interest). Rotorua is a decent experience & theres lots of lovely nature throughout the country. Im home almost constantly and in front of PC. And my parents refuse me to sell my ps4 cause they use it for Netflix which they sometimes ask me to operate because they don't always know how to. Although being in this environment has still not really had much of an effect. Although i know you relapsed after a very long time Cam, so i don't ever want to become comfortable with the idea that iv beaten some form of addiction, but should more consider it a 'practice' every day by not doing it. Day 36 - 36 days game free 16 days weed free Rock climbing was fun but i realized there's a bit of a mental game involved. I suck with heights still and find myself being nervous making the risky movements the higher i get even though i shouldn't be worried if i trust my climbing partner. However i have a friend who repetitively in the past didn't pay much attention to the slack, and found it amusing to drop me on the way down fast then slow to get a reaction out of me. So i think iv developed a bit of a distrust of the climb involved. Through proper evaluation and logical break down of my reasoning on the fear and proper exposure to the experience again im sure that will pass though. I have my sisters 21st birthday party tomorrow & a lot of work to get done. Peace!

Day 35 - 35 days game free 15 days weed free I forgot how unproductive i was when i was gaming its crazy! What i get done now compared to what i used to get done is a world apart. (here are the queenstown pics i took of the scenery) https://www.dropbox.com/sc/j3z6ybab5l435qd/AADojmFuAc9qmmhSYSsP6luja Atm im burning through how to win friends and influence people and i've returned work wise to playing some of the higher stakes stuff that i used to play but randomly dropped for a while. Its fun but swingy financially speaking and requires more dedication to the game so ive been pouring all available hours into doing the standard daily routine & study followed by working pretty much all day till i fall asleep. Meditation coupled in with that has given me an appreciation for life in ways i never could have considered. I now enjoy the daily grind even if its repetitive. I don't follow the highs and lows life brings with emotions tied in so strongly, and i am learning to accept gradually that everything will at some point come to an end. So if i can come to terms with that i won't feel like a previous high point in my life is what i need to get back to in order to be happy, but more that i can enjoy the general journey day to day regardless of how it pans out. Watched a documentary from Vice about Synthetic weed which was pretty scary and eye opening. Specially because the stuff was legal in NZ for a while and i recall seeing it in shops. Documentary Here Last night i went out with 2 friends to dinner, and the main conversation topic ended up being Dota 2. It was funny because even after all the talk about the game, i wasn't even remotely interested in it. Although to be honest those sort of games never appealed because i always saw people being horribly angry and stressed while playing. Much like poker it seems that when you win your not that happy, but when you lose its one of those games where you pretty quickly see what type of people your colleagues are. They either blame each other or complain about how the game panned out. It seems to be a real collection of negative energy at least from my experiences. Tomorrow i am heading off to go rock climbing with a few friends, at the moment im trying to implement everything i can from how to win friends. Specifically the argumentative stuff because i find myself in general being a person who loved debating. And while that might be on some level fulfilling to know i can win an argument, at the end of the day it doesn't make anybody happier. And challenging peoples opinions is often taken as an attack on their intelligence or character. The book showed awesome ways to disarm people so that going into situations that do need to be talked about (like something relative in every day life) means that the outcome can actually have a positive effect without the hurt feelings and resentment people tend to hold with it. Reading about other peoples struggles in the forums it seems that i have been pretty fortunate with how busy my life is to keep me away from being interested in gaming (much to my surprise :O)

Day 31- 31 days game free - 11 days weed free Hi guys returned from an awesome time down in Queenstown. Overall was a very pricey trip, id like to learn in future how to travel on the cheap and go more places instead. Break was just what i needed to clear my mind and feel rejuvenated to get back to work and everyday life. It was the first non-working holiday in a couple years, although i did take a day off while there to work (what can i say, i love my job). There is a bunch of pics but the upload files function on this forum might be a tiny bit buggy atm cause all the uploads failed with the message (-200) afterwards. I read up again on how to win friends and influence people and was reminded about how i should be treating people. I cannot stress how great that book is, it made me feel like id been doing socializing wrong my entire life and opened my eyes to a better way of living through compassion and appreciation. And how appreciating others in return really enriches your own life not only through your actions but through return actions of others. People like people who make them feel good/happy. Also finally got a copy of The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Nanh who is a Buddist Monk and teacher & Nobel peace prize nominee. After reading about monks and watching any content i could find on them its apparent that their lifestyle seems to promote high levels of happyness so whatever i can learn from them i would love to integrate into my life. Specially comming from a very capitalistic mindset and job line its nice to see how the other end of the spectrum does things. Upcomming plans will be to go on a fishing trip with a friend for a weekend, and start coding and rock climbing again while killing it at the poker tables I finally cracked the 1 month mark for video games! Admittedly it has been easier then id imagined and i think this is probably my record for non-gaming. The lifestyle changes i administered on the whole have made me a lot happier and i don't feel like returning there unless i get the odd glimpse of Time splitters or Kingdom hearts 3. Since i know they are my strongest chances of being triggered im making every effort to stay away from those. I still haven't gotten rid of the consoles or steam account which i need to. But i don't really know what to do with the steam accounts either. I don't feel right giving the steam account away to anybody i know because i feel it might ruin their life in ways it ruined mine and i would feel guilt about that. But i also don't really think there's much value in selling it. I know holding onto it means the relapse chances are higher and also that it will always keep it in the back of my mind to an extent. Even though the options are limited and logical for some reason i find no motivation towards taking a step in either direction. Anyway i'll leave with some quotes iv recently stuck on my wall Shall I tell you the secret of the true scholar? It is this : Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him. -Ralph Waldo Emerson To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. -Gautama Buddha It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently. - Warren Buffett There is no path to happiness: Happiness is the path .- Gautama Buddha

Day 26 - 26 days game free 5 weed free Hi guys Queenstown is freaken awesome! Although it is very chilly to the point that walking through town makes my eyes so cold i can barely keep them open. (i heard -8 degrees). A few friends and i hit the slopes on day 1 after a rather pricey purchase of gear, and spent the day snowboarding down the beginner level slopes owning myself every step of the way (great fun!). The bus ride up the mountain was semi reminding me of death road since the drop was just straight down for a good long distance. And the bus was less then a meter away from the edge (with a railing between). On the way back some car had an accident with a bus and the mountain was held up for ages. After getting back the town was snowing and looked like something out of a harry potter scene with the lamp posts. Next day i developed a cold so i spent the day inside just recovering and working. Unfortunately the pics i thought i could post are stuck on my phone until i get the right cord. I got another 4 days here and in that time am planning on going snowboarding at least another 2 times and hopefully hit a higher slope. And if i can build the nerve, il try dip in the lake before sprinting back to warmth. I watched a doco called don't look down about urban climbers such as Mustang wanted and their endeavors. Palms were sweating the whole time. peace

Day 23 - 23 days game free 2 weed free Hi guys arrived in Queenstown nz today (beautiful sights) with 2 friends. Tomorrow i hit the slopes for a week of straight snowboarding, studying and working in the evenings. But also stumbled across a rather interesting documentary Vice did on the Ice Man. Found out he has a video package, and even though it might potentially be wrong its definitely got me curious. Since im currently in a place full of snow and a lake 1 minute walk from my room i figured it would be interesting to buy this at some point and start looking into it. The guy can regulate his core body temperature under very cold conditions for long durations, as well as the fact that he climbed mt Everest in his Shorts and his students also show a lot of ability like he has. Crazy! Pics to come tomorrow

Day 21- 21 days game free & 0 days weed free Been a bit since i posted last but i have been super busy , been hanging out with friends across a variety of activities and focusing purely on self improvement and work. I started a herb garden, and am learning more about the type of bonsai tree cutting id need in order to go ahead and start that hobby. In two days a few friends and I are flying down to Queens town NZ for a trip around sight seeing and snowboarding so I'll be sure to take a couple pics While iv lived in New Zealand most of my life funnily enough iv never gone ahead and actually explored it. So as far as holidays go im going to make my own country #1 on the list for traveling until iv fully explored all the little places hidden about. Atm its the coldest our country has ever been and its throwing things out of whack. I don't want to wake up on time to do what i have in the day because its too cold outside of the bed & sucks to be awake at that hour. So it should be interesting traveling way further south where the temperature is in the negatives. While there's a tonne of activities like sky diving and bungee jumping i have a feeling it will be too cold for this trip and will have to put that on the to do list for when its a little less chilly. Gaming wise iv had my final skins off cs go sell so i can block the websites afterwards. Out of either pure laziness, being busy, or procrastination i have yet to sell my gaming consoles. Which i know should be dealt with immediately, although them being there hasn't given me the urge to return to gaming although its only been 21 days and I could definitely fall back into habit if i did decide to pick it up. Update in a few more days peace

Day 12 (12 game free, 1 weed free) The last few days has been fulled with work basically but i did learn more about week structure and that trying to accomplish what you want to accomplish by keeping the same schedule on each day not only gets a bit boring, but it is also a little less productive since less time allocation to each task means you can't get into it as much So iv gone ahead and structured my week more like a standard 9 to 5 worker (funny cause that's the reason i gravitated towards poker, the ability to avoid the 9 to 5). And set aside Friday for errands, Saturday for social/hobby fun and Sunday for self evaluation for weeks goals, short term/long term and self-evaluating other aspects. I also came up with a future website idea i am rather excited about working on that can make an effect on people, do some good and also still operate as a business. Instead of adding it to the back of my one day work on list, iv decided to gradually work on in for 15 minutes a day until i hash out the main details and break down a propper plan. It will be fun putting coding into some use later on now that I've got more of a reason to learn coding . Also watched a documentary called Blackfish about sea world & killer whales. After seeing it i can safely say i understand why all those activists were standing with signs asking to free them. Game wise I realized i still have my darn consoles sitting in the house, and i haven't gotten rid of my steam account. Fail! Started learning how to cook to implement my new diet. I am pretty bad in the kitchen so i am just starting small with 1 meal a day. Finally got a bunch of work out the way so i can throw all my efforts into the 30 day challenge read

?I have had multiple stretches of different levels of use. I've had a month month period where i used it 6-8 times a day and was more or less on a continuous high. And iv also used it on a weekly basis. I find there's a strong difference between its usefulness and the frequency of use. If you use it only on weekends or when you do suffer from a lul in creativity it can be used to refocus and break through mental barriers of things you might not want to do but don't know why and address problems. However if i use it more regularly it just becomes a state of 'sober is boring' and i use it (like videogames) to replace any problems im lacking in my life, as a De-stressor and as fun. I wouldn't say its bad,and can be really beneficial at times. But i think i have to really structure rules around it to not ever relapse into the states of dependance and abuse. Booze on the other hand has zero appeal to me now and i feel sick even after slight amounts of consumption of any kind.

?Anybody read books they can recommend on procrastination?

?After looking more into different addictions i just realized i am addicted to every part of my life. Thanks Game quitters for the appifany <3 I tend to think that everybody in this forum has an addictive personality in general. So its probably beneficial to stay away from weed. However going through so many changes at once and not knowing how to comfortably cope with them all i feel might not be an ideal strategy. But moderation isn't in our nature. I decided to prioritize my various addictions and break down which is the worst offenders money wise, productivity wise and health wise. And then from there i have put together a rough plan of action about systematically destroying each one and then moving on but making sure not to relapse into old ones as new challenges create additional voids. If video games change the brain structure, and porn, and weed. Then surely keeping any addiction in your life is gonna make you more susceptible to relapse into other addiction areas right?

Day 9 (9 days game free, 0 without weed) Ok so me and my gf parted ways agreeably last night due to the fact that i will be moving overseas as a goal for 2016. It ended on good terms, and all was happy I also found out while experimenting with different types of teas that im allergic to chamomile. I kept wondering why i was sneezing continously all day & what it could be. Which sucks cause it was good to ease into sleep. Any ideas on replacements? I ended up vaping again when i hit a boredom point at which i was watching documentaries. My coping logic at the time was that i had just had reasonably significant life changes and a lots going on in the last 12 days. If i change too much it could snap back. When i did get high i was relaxed again and felt motivated and interested in everything again and i learned about the appeal of weed after thinking about it some more. I am thinking that i am gonna maybe have to change my view on how frequent i do it and just try to balance my life and see if i can moderate it, and make a rule that if i do it more then 2 days in a row i have to skip 5 or something. Also began planning things on a calender (lol, so simple but i never did it) Atm i came up with a tonne of great ideas and did work on a bunch of topics. I feel good. Hopefully this motivation can hold off till the friends schedules ease up. Game wise i have actually had zero urges. I didn't even think of it and iv been picking up consoles and moving them into boxes today too. I do have 3 a steam account though, i don't know where to sell it or what its value is on the market (its worth $2600 and has 297 games w/ a few thousand hours and clean clean rep) + the other 2 i didnt evaluate but theyre probably 1k+ each. The urge to play it isn't bothering me since i kinda feel its been replaced by other interests. But I know its a bad idea to keep it around so i am thinking i will lock them somehow and remove my access until the date that the steam box releases thus the market value of accounts might go up. Since new players might move over who were on consoles and il have several hundred games available to them at a lower price. So the marketer in me just refuses to give the accounts away if its around the corner too, moneys money. Anyway im going back to watching a doco about meth, all hail national geographic

Day 8 (8 days game free, 4 days without weed) Today was nothing exciting. Just Poker/reading on diet and reading the games challenge . But i did put the last of my CS go items on opskins.com so as of now i can start putting all my steam accounts onto a trade site. Question...where do you guys sell your old steam accounts?

that sounds like quite a challenge, how do you read so fast Ed? Also welcome

Day 7 (7 days not gaming, 3 days without weed) hi guys, missed last nights post cause GF was over. I've been doing a lot of look into the changes i would like to implement and self-evaluating. While nothing particularly cool happened like with you guys and your worldly travels I have got a more clear cut path now -Aiming to wake up @ 5.30 or 6am (I've never been a morning person but since i introduced steady bedtime its been easy)- Atm i wake at 8.30 to 9am (scaled back from 1pm) Waking up early means i never have the excuse that things got in the way, so i can never miss meditation/exercise again. -I've booked flights for some live poker tournaments in Melbourne Australia for October -I have decided that by the end of the year, my goal will be to move to Australia and live with a friend, while i learn more about coding so i can start making my own websites for business or going to coding school. -I want to own and shape a bonsai tree one day, they just look bad ass -Recently i began investigating diet since i had a lot of troubles with it in the past and never really knew much. My parents took the Paleo lifestyle and Im reading all the books i can about it. All i know is since giving up grain in my life i feel 800x better in every way. -I wish to start learning how to cook so i can prepare dishes the night before, maximize energy and how my body runs. Plus knowing how to make something more than 2 minute noodles would be cool. -I want to read the habit changing book that was mentioned in one of the journals on this site once i clear through the pile iv still got Yesterday i cleaned my room from top to bottom for the first time in ages. I found $94.50 in New zealand dollars (largest coin $2) and $122 Australian dollars just sitting around my room somehow lol Today's the day i can finally sell my CS go skins and get rid of the steam accounts I also watched the documentary Fed Up about the food industry and sugar, which was pretty eye opening. Specially with the amount of horrible disease the processed food brings! Finally I've started reading the Challenge that Cam wrote, pretty solid material and would recommend to anybody on this site who hasn't already bought it. <3 DAT psychology

?respect haha, i tried cold showers. It was really exciting and got my heart racing but i struggled so hard with the shock. Got any tips on how to ease into it? Or warm up tips for after?