Question of the week: What's your favourite quote?
You seem to have a lot going on here. It's a lot to unpack and I've got to wonder if a forum is the best place to seek help with so many different health and wellness issues at once. Do your parents know just how much you're struggling with all this? Do you have some recourse for professional counseling? Do you have some friends you really feel you could turn to? Take a deep breath, okay. There's time to sort everything out and find a safe, sound direction for yourself.