Mohammad

Day 13: Things are getting better ? woke up at 6 am today ?

Day 12: All good ? woke up at 7:20 am

Day 11: Happy with my progress ?

Day 10: Things are getting better ? woke up at 7 in the morning ?

Day 9: All good ?

Day 7, 8: all good ? spending time for family and friends (weekends) ?

Day 6: Doing good ? Being very productive ?

Day 3,4,5: No gaming ?

About seven years ago, I was playing whenever I was awake. Maybe 10 hours a day. That lasts for a couple of years until I was accepted for a Ph.D. program at a Canadian University. I knew this is a great opportunity, so I started to reduce the gaming hours, but I didn't want to leave gaming as I was enjoying it. About a year ago, I gave birth to my boy, and it was the first time I decided to stop playing. During the first two years of my Ph.D., I was playing probably five hours a day. In the past year that I was trying to quit, Whenever I relapse, I play like full time! However, those days that I don't, I am very productive and have an excellent focus on my study. In a typical day, I do meditation, study English every day, do my research and also try to learn something new like as I said a new programming language. Therefore, I am either 0 or 1. When I am playing a game, I am living a miserable life, and when I am not, I am very productive. I am not spending any time doing any sport or any hobby. Canada has freezing winters, and there is not much I can do right now like photography for example. That I am very productive whenever not playing made me quite successful in my studies and I can see a bright future for myself if I can put an end to gaming. Sorry for the very long description, but I think this helps me to get over this gaming. I learnt that whenever I try to explain something to others, I automatically look at it very differently and it is somewhat rewarding. To wrap up: Seven years ago: played full time Three years ago: played 5 hours a day One year ago: either playing full time (not more than five hours per day because I have a baby to take care of) or being very productive. About six months ago, when I registered on the website and started photography, I completed an 89-day detox straight ahead. I relapse on the very last day! How does my mind is affected? Hard question. I am usually happy with the first games, and then I do not enjoy it. Because I see myself very miserable at that condition, I continue to play even though not enjoying. I do not play smart enough recently because I do not care about games anymore. It is just a very solid pattern of behaviour that is still with me.

I understand what you are saying. The problem with me though is that when I am not playing, there are tons of work to do. Therefore, I won't be able to spend any time doing anything else rather than working. Thankfully, I really enjoy what I do so it is kinda possible to do as a hobby for myself and I am satisfied with it. But, I guess I fall into the habit of playing every other day because I do not have any specific hobby right now. Thankfully, I am also spending 15 minutes a day meditating which is helping. You know what, when I am working on my project, I am so satisfied that I do not want to do anything else. I think very big and have very ambitious dreams. These dreams help me to fight with my gaming habit, and I know I will defeat that habit soon :). Thanks for the advice, and I would be happy to get feedback about what you think about it.

Thanks for your comment. I do not find any specific reason. Sometimes, I think about the game, and I would like to play some games to try a new strategy and be very smart at the game. I generally want to excel at something and gaming provides such a place to do so. The other time that I managed to go on a 90-day detox straight with no relapse was spending so much time becoming an expert on photography. Even now, I shifted this urge into learning a new programming language. However, you won't get rewarded any time soon when you spend time on something real in life especially in my job which is very competitive. It needs a lot of perseverance and patience, and sometimes I am not that patient. I think this might be the reason that I fall into gaming. But, In general, I am not so sure why I am playing while there are so many things to do in real life and I am aware of it!

Day 2: No gaming ?

Day 1st: No gaming ? Yes, have to start again!

Day 3: No gaming ?

Day 2: No gaming ?

You are definitely correct. I also blocked anything related to gaming. However, that youtube video was not really a video of the game I use to play. It was just a cartoon which was somehow similar to my game or at least it looks similar to me. That was enough for me to think about it for a second and then fell for it! Thanks for your help. Much appreciated.

1st day: No gaming ? Well, I failed again on the second day, so I am starting over. Even though I am stuck at the very first few days, but I still feel good about myself. These fighting attitude that I developed over the past six months is indeed healthy, and I eventually defeat my gaming habit. I am moving forward with a positive attitude... If I fail seven times, I get up eight times. I think this is the way to go. I know the temptation will strike me again, and I am prepared to fight back. If I fail, I will start over again and again ? I also started meditation ?

Day 1: No gaming ? I started meditation. Hopefully, that would help me to deal with the temptation. The install-block software that prevents me to install the game is also very beneficial. I am so happy that I am back on the route again!

The trigger was seeing the game on youtube by accident. I had such a great desire to play that I could not resist. This time I installed the install-block that I used to use before. As long as I know I do not have access to the game, I am good. I hope this help. Starting over from today...

3rd day: I failed! ?

Day 2: No gaming ? I had a great desire to play last night when my boy was asleep. However, I managed to overcome it. I used a trick I learnt from a book. It is called 10,10,10. It is basically imagining yourself in 10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 months and 10 years from now. I tried it and I realized that the next 10 mints would be fun playing games. However, it is gonna be very painful in 10 hours! exhausted and not getting enough sleep. Feeling awful about myself. It was even worse when I looked into 10 months. I would be struggling with this destructive habits and it's even harder to put an end to it after 10 months. The 10 years perspective is really scary if you can imagine what gaming is gonna do to your life in 10 years! I think that was enough for me to overcome that desire.

Hi Karabas, Thanks for your advice. My first 90-days detox was very easy for me with no much cravings. That is why I didn't take this journal writing that seriously. I did not see any reasons spending time here as I did not have any issues going to the 90-days detox. However, later, for some reasons, I started to play again. I did not mean to start playing games against. Just wanted to play a single game. And that's exactly when it starts over! I started to learn photography in my first 90-day detox and It was really fun and encouraging. This time I am into learning a new programming language python as my new hobby. I think this will help me get more productive. I will spend more time on journal writing as well as you suggested. I am also spending some time daily on meditation. Mohammad

Starting a new 90-days detox. I am very serious about it mostly because of my baby! I can not do this to him.

Day 15: No gaming

Day 1 to 14: No gaming. Thanks to the software install-block that blocked my games.