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Paul A.

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Posts posted by Paul A.

    Caged - Writing like I Talk

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Paul A.

    Dude awesome! Great job on holding yourself accountable and making purposeful decisions to improve. I would recommend getting out, if even a little bit, over the weekend, cause everyone needs a break every once in a awhile, and it seems like you've been working hard :)

    Keep up the good work

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    I know this is a support forum, so I can't just talk about my progress without supporting others through theirs... the problem is I'm not the best at giving advice... so I guess the least I can do is offer words of encouragement :)

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Paul A.

    Day 6 (almost a week :D)

    Today, a lot of people weren't at school, because they went on a field trip (those that are in the school chorus and band went to Hershey Park), so we mostly messed around at school today. A bit of time was spent on the computer, but I listened to music instead of games. After school, I watched my brother play ROBLOX, watched some TV (Friends), then went out to play some basketball with some neighborhood kids (as well as a friend from school I ran into). Just came home from there, I think I'll learn a bit more about how to use LMMS (I watched a couple tutorial videos last night).

    When I was still gaming, hours would just seem to go by in a flash. Now that I've quit, I've come to really appreciate the time that I have. I'm aiming to start using my time more productively.

    Lately, my littlest brother (5) has been getting really frustrated by a game he plays (Shadow Fight 2). Whenever he is on a losing streak, he gets upset, and even bursts into tears. I hope that once he gets older that he will see the light of non-gaming (lol), because whenever he is told to put his tablet every night, he is visibly upset. It seems that there's a similarity between us gamers, we've been playing since childhood (I myself had a computer at the age of five), maybe if we weren't bred to game since childhood it wouldn't be a problem for us. Anyway that's just an observation that I made.

    Well, I think that's today's entry. Tomorrow will mark a week game-free :D I'm excited!

     

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Day 5

    Another normal day. There was another essay I had to finish up today (I could've worked on it yesterday but I chose to put it off :/) but the good thing is I was really focused on it, I even had the urge to start goofing off on the Internet but I chose to ignore it. Afterwards I played some ball with a friend (my handles aren't improving, unfortunately, but my shooting is a TEENY bit better), but both him and my brother were insulting me (they think it's fun but I take it personally because I've been picked on so much), so there were times when tensions were high. My friend got salty because we tapped him while playing 50 so many times, which was HILARIOUS (he tried to beat me up). Anyway I just came home from there and I'm writing this entry. Just another day, taking it one step at a time. Tomorrow, I want to start learning how to actually USE LMMS so I can start making some music :). That's all for today.

    dailyjournalforworldpeace!

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Dude great to have you here!

    I still need to get started on learning how to make music, so it's awesome that you are doing it.

    I liked the letter to yourself, it's cool how you know what you want to do with yourself. I noticed the things you assume people perceive you as, people tell me not to be so hard on yourself, as long as you make small improvements every day you can be more confident in yourself.

    Music Producing

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    A dream of mine is to be a music producer one day, so yesterday I installed LMMS on my computer. It's only a freeware so I don't know how much I can do with it, but even the greatest have to start somewhere, right? :) 

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Yesterday I wasn't able to post because I ran out of time on the computer (my dad set up the computer so that when I reach a certain time limit the computer will log off and won't allow me to log back in until 3 PM the next day), and since no other devices were available I couldn't post, so I'll write an entry for both days today.

    Day 3 (yesterday)

    Yesterday was a normal day. Taking it one step at a time.

    We had another day of testing, so we were allowed to use the computers with the extra time, but instead of playing games I actually looked up something that interested me from History class (a baseball player killed by a pitch). After school I spent all my computer time on an essay that is due Thursday (tomorrow) that I had been procrastinating on :/. I couldn't finish it all though. An observation I made yesterday is that some people actually have the ability to game in moderation and still excel in other things, but not everyone (that includes me). For me any gaming was addicting and energy-draining, that's why there was a need to quit. All in all it was a pretty average day.

    Day 4 (today)

    Today was the last day of testing, so instead of using extra time to play on the computers we actually shut them down and watched a movie instead (How to Train Your Dragon 2), but only like 20 minutes of it. After school I had to finish up my essay which I did, but I managed to extend my time which is how I'm typing this. I do have a habit of goofing around on the Internet while I'm doing my work, but since I get my work done I don't consider it a problem. Since I was working most of the time I didn't do much else, except listening to some music and learning a bit more about some artists (I have an interest in the music business). That's all for today.

    Only for girls

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I hope you're not too offended by a male replying. I noticed you didn't get a response yet so I figured I'd pitch my idea.

    Have you ever tried jig saw puzzles? I used to love those as a kid, and they would seem to fit your criteria. There's even a whole crapload of them available online, apparently.

    http://www.jigsawplanet.com/

    Hope this helps. :)

    Haha we're rebels :P

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Day 2

    Today was a little better in terms of productivity. Even though today was testing day and legitimately EVERYONE was playing games after the test was over (tests were on the computer), I still managed to keep my urges under control. Afterschool I watched some basketball videos to help me improve, but to be honest I didn't do much better :|, but you know what they say, practice makes perfect. I also read a bit of people's journals to try and connect with my fellow GameQuitters. Plus, I didn't browse the Internet much today.

    It's rewarding to be spending time on things you want to do but never got around to because of constant gaming. Being game-free really gives me a peace of mind, I'm not constantly thinking about games, and it really improves my focus. Plus, I'm not all stressed out about the things I need to do because without games I can keep my priorities straight. The whole experience is, in a word, liberating.

    I'm still feeling a bit lonely from time to time, and I still get picked on, but I feel like I'm better connecting with the friends I do have. I hope I can foster more meaningful relationships over time.

    Overall, it was a pretty good day. I just have to keep taking it day-by-day. Rome wasn't built in a day.

    P.S. I noticed that I ended every sentence in that last paragraph with the word "day" :D

    Mert's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    @DuckyMcDuck

    I would recommend trying to quit games altogether. I don't know if this is a problem for you, but in my experience, when I play games at all, I found myself thinking about them all day in school (I still go to school) and then I just have to play them when I get home, and I spend hours playing them before I do my homework. Gaming just has a more addictive quality than any other hobby. I've found that when I am not playing games, there are still things I want to do, but I don't feel like I have to do those things as soon as I get home; I can still get the things done that I need to get done, before I do the things I want. I mean, it's all up to you what you choose to do, but that's just what I would recommend. 

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    I'll consider this Day 1 of the 90-Day Detox.

    Today was a bit better than usual. I could have spent my time more productively, as I spent a lot of time on the internet, and the rest of my time watching TV, but I don't feel like I've wasted the day as much as I usually do. The thing is, the weekend always seems to go by so quickly. Maybe now that I've stopped gaming I can eventually learn to use my time wisely.

    I woke up rather early, and the first thing I did was grab my phone. I was on YouTube for 2.5 hours before I brushed my teeth and got changed. Afterwards I watched my brother play computer games before I went outside for a bit (I know watching my brother play is a potential trigger, but it's still entertaining). We got KFC, which I ate AT THE TABLE with my siblings, rather than in front of a computer screen. I didn't even pull out my phone. Afterwards I watched a movie, and I watched my brother play some more.

    Overall it was a pretty normal day, but I hope to be using my time more productively in the near future.

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    @Dannigan

    Thanks for your concern. I think I might be able to get my parents to sign me up for an afterschool activity, but the problem is that they work till late, plus their workplaces are farther away, but I'll see what I can do. And also thanks for the advice, I'll just keep on going and see what happens. But I don't think I'm all that smart :P, but thanks for the compliment.

    @Falky

    Thanks for your concern, man. So if I'm reading correctly, you are suggesting I should try to find an outlet for my frustration... maybe I can get my parents to sign me up for something, or I can get around to producing music like I said I would :/... either way, I'll take your advice into consideration, and I'll try not to beat myself up so much over everything.

    My Journal ~ A New Beginning

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Hi there!

    So I'm trying to read other people's journals and maybe give some words of encouragement instead of just lurking (hopefully I can get some more people to read my journal as well), and I just wanna say that I'm quite impressed with what you are doing. It seems that you have struggled with adversity, but it doesn't stop you from trying to improve your quality of life. That's a really great attitude you have towards life, instead of trying to blame the universe for all the shit that we go through (I'm guilty of that :/). I guess I wanna say that you should keep going strong and things will only get better for you :)

     

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by Paul A.
    I don't feel this bar here is necessary

    ( Every day that I play games, at the end of the day I feel like I've wasted the whole day. Honestly, I don't play a lot of games, and the main reason I play those games is because I'm halfway decent at them (I'm shit at most games), and when I'm not doing well at the game I stop playing it, only to return to it later. That is my attitude at life to be totally honest, I just give up at the things I don't do well in. It's not a good attitude, I admit, but I really don't like to fail, which is funny because I do it so often :(

    I would like to stop, but when I do I don't have the motivation to pursue other hobbies. For example, I'm not learning to produce music like I want to, even though I've had most of the day to do it. A lack of motivation (or just pure laziness) has been something I've been suffering with for years, and I know I need to address it but I'm too lazy :/

    I'm just hoping that sometime soon I can get my act together and stop feeling like I've wasted my time at the end of every single day. I guess at the end of the day all I can do is hope (and actually try to finish the 90 day detox, when I signed up in January when Cam sent out that email I went less than a week before I relapsed, I actually completed the final survey two days after it was sent to me because I was too preoccupied in games)

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Well... I said I was back, but I really wasn't. I will be forever be haunted by my chronic inability to play video games :/.

    Ever since my last journal entry I've been gaming, on tablets, phones, computers (I would say etc but those three are all I have). To be honest, it's not even fun, but it's addicting. I felt like I had a sense of purpose, especially this one game I've been playing called "Cubes of the Gods," where the point is to find a cube that gives you powers. I would have to complete "quests" like cutting down trees and defeating thugs to get enough money to buy a cube tracker which would help me find a cube. Like I said, it's not even that much fun, as the quests are usually mundane and tedious, and like I said before I'm some shit at all video games, but I felt like I had a purpose. Of course, getting powers in an online game isn't a legitimate ambition, I've wanted to be a producer (make my own music) for some time now, but a combination of game addiction and laziness have prevented me from installing any software and watching tutorial videos.

    Aside from gaming, I haven't been feeling so great about myself lately. I feel like I have no real friends and I feel self pity for all the things others have and I don't. I mean, I am 13, so it just might be a part of growing up, but i really need a way to express myself.

    So that's how I've been for a while... I don't even know yet whether I'm even going to stick around on the forums, so consider this a brief check up of how I've been doing

    Paul's Journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Well so I'm back. Turns out reading isn't a hobby I can keep up for long, especially since I am rather discriminate when it comes to my reading choices, and when I find a book I do like, I tend to get through it rather quickly. I haven't been gaming much lately (especially since my dad banned me from playing any games on the computer), but I just can't seem to find a fulfilling hobby. I've been trying to write lately, but I can't think of much to write about once I actually whip out a pencil and some paper (actually Microsoft Word on my phone).

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