NEW VIDEO: The Dark Side of Gaming (Documentary)
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Everything posted by Zakaex
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Anyone know how to properly use the "@__" tags by the way lol
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Day 90 (April 11, 2016) GOAL! Finally touched down to the last day of my detox! Just a little caveat before beginning my one last journal entry: I apologize for being delaying on this last one since touching down onto my home country via a 12-hour flight, needless to say, it was rather exhausting and trying to get used to my old time zone with a huge time difference took awhile. I've got to say it, although it wasn't the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, it wasn't the easiest either - having to abandon that one hobby that has been my go-to activity on tough times in which I went through stress, boredom and depression. That one hobby that helped me made almost all my friends that I have today and brought my cousins and brothers closer than ever. Having to go through these 90 days to rewire my brain would have been a very lonely and dark road if it wasn't for the Game Quitters community. As stated in a passage from the book "Rewire" by Richard O'Connor, where in Chapter 12 titled "Relapse Prevention" he suggests us to: "Join a group of people with a similar problem, if at all possible... Feeling that we're isolate is both a motive for self-destructive behavior and a reason why we think we can get away with it." That being said I would like to thank sincerely @WorkInProgress @SpiNips @Dannigan @Merdoc_Rowboat @Somebodyelse @wookieshark88 @DaBest @AlexTheGrape @kortheo @Laney @SegaCity and everyone else who have checked up on my progress with simple things such as a 'like,' given me practical advice and encouragement throughout my detox journey. Obviously, without you @Cam Adair my life may have been no different or even worse off than it was 90 days ago, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for literally changing my life for the better. I got back in shape both physically and mentally: got back to playing basketball again, made new friends, developed plenty of healthy habits such as reading and meditation to name a few (my parents were shocked when I carried half a luggage full of self-developement books instead of any gaming related products). "You want to know what I like more than video games? KNAWLEDGE!!"
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Day 89 (April 10, 2016) Finally made it back home safe! Parents were impressed with the amount of books I have brought back with me, and to be honest so was I. If I went back in time telling myself that I would have been interested in reading awhile back I would have gone to get myself checked out by the doctor. Despite talking about games with my brothers, I also notice that I don't get triggers anymore, which is nice. Now with plenty of time in my hands, I should start looking for some work tomorrow to start building a career for myself!
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Day 88 (April 9, 2016) Finally finished the last exam of this semester, one of the many important things to keep in mind for me is always to manage my time no matter what the circumstances. For I have completely laid back today (not skipping the daily exercises, however) and spent the rest of the day relaxing at home. Lucky or not, I was able to chill on my last day in Canada here with my friends, watching them playing through Life Is Strange. Despite the compelling gameplay, I was more focused on socializing with my pals, enjoying pizza and drinks at the comfort of my home. Guess I have fully developed some 'immunity' against any triggers so far, only focusing on the game of real life.
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Day 87 (April 8, 2016) Visited the library today again, and every time I do so I can feel my productivity skyrocket. Could just be that I have been watching too much junk with my housemates here on YouTube and with them around it is always hard to concentrate. In the library, however, you can find groups and individuals who are hardworking, and that is very motivating. Although to be fair every and then you can walk past some of them browsing Facebook and watching YouTube vlogs, but at the very least they are doing so quietly and are aware of the etiquettes there. Walking to the library also provides me the necessary steps to complete my daily steps goal, together with the extra flowing momentum I get, studying/working in the library is definitely a habit that I can get used to.
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Day 86 (April 7, 2016) One more exam to go! As complicated as it seems the challenge comes from knowing how close I am to the end, but yet so far. This is also what gets me every time, mis-weighing one day's worth of time to put in those extra minutes of revision could mean the difference between a 1.00 to 2.00 point increase in GPA. Despite the countless Pomodoro's and workouts, I have been putting in daily, however, following the Leangains intermittent fasting method is still something I seem to be struggling with.
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Thanks Cam, I friggin love this guy and his TED talk. If only I had heard it earlier back in my high school days and was willing to listen!
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Day 85 (April 6, 2016) Had a terrible start to a new day. Woke up late and had burgers and fries for "brunch". Not only feeling awful from wasting time on social media last night but also breaking both my diet and my fasting plan altogether. I thought to myself: "Oh whatever, I'll just enjoy the 'cheat day' today and start a new when the clock strikes 12:00 am!" Then it came to me that this was the same old mentality that I have been carrying since high school. This perfectionist logical fallacy of mine to think that I must do everything perfect in one day or I fail could just be the robber of my successes in life. Despite the many poor choices that I neglected to control in the morning, I managed to overcome my perfectionist self through the knowledge and wisdom I accumulated throughout these last 80 past days or so. Just goes to show again how efficient this journey has been doing for me so far. "You need to change the small actions that you are taking in your day to day life to change your future." - The basic premise from the book "The Compound Effect" by Darren Hardy. Even the great Aristotle says "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." Just because I had a bad morning, it doesn't mean the rest of my day have to be so either. Slowly, I began to make my bed (in the afternoon) and meditate - checking off tasks one by one rebuilding that momentum...
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Day 84 (April 5, 2016) Felt very productive again today, barely wasting any time on Netflix or YouTube - I feel a great motivation to study, something that has almost never happened before once in my high school life. The grind is tedious, but with all the changes I have been doing in my life so far I can feel the confidence in myself knowing all this hard work will pay off eventually...
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Wish I had your resolve man. Any tips on acquainting yourself with high-level people without looking awkward?
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Day 83 (April 4, 2016) Got out of the house today right after showering (from a workout) to finish up my steps goal, got some real studying in the library today despite all the drinking and partying these days. The trick really is to surround yourself with hardworking people and they will somehow rub off on you. Reminded me of when I watched the Game Quitters video on "5 Things I Wish I Did Differently at 18 Years Old", loved the quote on how you are the average of the five-person you hang out with.
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On a side note, it really helps to have you and other community members regularly checking on my day to day progress. I feel an increased sense of importance and your responses serve as an important reminder to me every day I log on! I will be sure to do the same over the summer when I am finished off with my exams and my detox!
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Day 82 (April 3, 2016) Finally achieved a "gold circle" in my UA Record app today and it feels amazingly good. I have basically met my health goals for the day in all four 'pillars' of my health: sleep (8 hours), activity (walked 7k steps), nutrition (following my intermittent fasting diet), and fitness (basketball for an hour). Just like checking off another day in the Coach.me app, this really helps to keep me motivated to stay healthy by utilizing the daily win principle from Respawn!
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I hear you man, but it's just harder said than done for me As frustrating as it is, some practical tips to surrounding myself with like-minded, success-driven people is to increase my overall knowledge base - more often than not this usually attracts more intellectuals to your attention apparently. So one thing I would consider is where are the more "serious" students hanging out right now during break? They are likely at the library or coffee shops near campus. Check those out. If you need to take a break from your friends for a few days, do it. It's only a few days Very true, the likelihood of hearing clanging beer bottles and hungover students spouting nonsense will likely be zero in the campus libraries. It may take a little bit more energy to get going (packing and stuff), but I'm sure it will benefit me greatly over the long run.
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I hear you man, but it's just harder said than done for me As frustrating as it is, some practical tips to surrounding myself with like-minded, success-driven people is to increase my overall knowledge base - more often than not this usually attracts more intellectuals to your attention apparently.
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Day 81 (April 2, 2016) With this semester's classes finally put to an end, I am faced with at least a week before exams. While this is beneficial to almost every student, only a few of them truly understand how to utilize the extra time given to boost up their potential grades. Thus, I am forced to become surrounded by celebrations and parties of friends that emanate this aura of relaxation, so much so I began to yield subconsciously to them today and almost triggered a relapse (joining their 'gaming session'). Thankfully, by building up mindfulness through this journey filled with meditation, exercising (physically and mentally) and journaling, I was able to recognize some of my cognitive biases that are causing me to succumb to temptations. With only 9 more days before fully completing the 90-day challenge, I cannot afford to lose against myself.
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Day 80 (April 1, 2016) Finally relapsed... how unfortunate, I was 10 days away too :( Oh well back at it to day 1 I guess... APRIL FOOLS. In all seriousness, however, it would seem like urges to relapse are lurking just about everywhere around the corner waiting to pounce on me. As mentioned in one of the lessons of Respawn, along with one of Steven Pressfield's book "Do The Work": We are always fighting against ourselves, day by day, the pain does not go away, but we can learn to outsmart it and outmaneuver it. It may seem hard to do so for the first few weeks since it feels too strange to live in a world cut off from the activity you spend half the day doing, we are suddenly given so much free time we have no idea what to do. Furthermore, the principle reminded me of a great quote from Skyrim, although fiction, holds great truth: "No day goes by where I am not tempted to return to my inborn nature... What is better - to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"
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Day 79 (March 31, 2016) Literally felt a neural rewiring in my brain today. Since classes are finally over, I woke up acknowledging the amount of freedom I am given after 12 weeks of intense work (both physically and mentally). Naturally, I thought maybe this sort of thinking would start triggering urges to play video games again one way or the other; instead, I was motivated to read. To READ, what am I thinking? 80 days ago I would have never thought of reading self-help books would become a go-to activity for leisure! I am very impressed by the power of this detox journey, perhaps after this is over I might even go for a second longer run (perhaps aiming for 180 days this time).
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Day 78 (March 30, 2016) Trying out a time tracking app called "Toggl" today. If what Peter Drucker says in his book "Managing Oneself" that to master anything we must learn to master ourselves, then I think this would be an excellent starting point. Come to think of it; as an INFP I have always had awkward time management skills, doing things only when I 'feel like it'. Hopefully by collecting enough data through logging my time on my activities, there will be a possibility of seeing trends that I can fix over the long run.
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Day 77 (March 29, 2016) On a streak of productivity today again! Manage to check off all that was required on the to-do list. Also, I've also noticed that practicing mindfulness (meditation exercises) helps me develop a sense of awareness of my subconscious mind; I think this was covered in the book "Rewired" now that I think about it. I was able to pinpoint out some of the cognitive biases that were covered in Respawn, which affected my decision making in making choices on what to eat, overcoming some of the primitive instincts that make decisions for us based on our emotions (Mainly aimed towards instant gratification, which is typically bad for me when it comes to health and weight loss).
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Day 76 (March 28, 2016) Had a tremendously productive day today, probably one of the most productive one by far. Woke up, made my bed and worked until lunch. Not surprisingly, following an intermittent fasting schedule frees up so much more time to spend on working instead of planning, traveling and paying for meals! The only downside so far is that I tend to be extra hungry when it comes to lunch and dinner since I only have an 8-hour window to eat, but this can easily be resolved through making some better decisions and learning to cook at home (which will probably save up even more time and energy).
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This is thanks in no small part to you and all the other community members consistently revisiting my journal from time to time! I promise I will not disappoint and make it all the way to the end!
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Day 75 (March 27, 2016) 15 Days more to go! By the time the detox is over, however, I will be traveling overseas back to my hometown, living again with two of my hardcore gaming brothers. I was practicing visualization today going back home living with them as I did not long ago, it will be another test of willpower against any of these triggers for sure. Though it should be safe at times to start playing a round of Smash bro's to settle a score with my younger brother at times (Since I am not particularly hooked on fighting games), the meditation sessions should help when it comes to becoming more mindful of myself and becoming more aware of what really causes these temptations for me.