My name is Yann and I come from Switzerland. I'm 21 and I feel completely lost in life without video games since I've stopped.
I started playing video games when I was 11 with my elder brother. Since then my childhood has always been a game of hide and seek with my parents my only goal was to play more and more. I was hooked as soon as I started playing WoW. I played a lot during school in total secret to my parents, as this game was forbidden to me.
After school I discovered LoL with consumed me for my whole apprenticeship until I left for the army.
Then when I started the army I couldn't play and was just playing on weekends occasionally. And I have good memories of the army and was sad when my service ended and I had to go home. For the first time in my life I had the feeling like I was belonging somewhere and had the feeling that I had friends. But it all ended pretty suddenly when my service was finished.
So when my service finished (last April) I decided to leave my boring old room which I was used to living in and went to Germany to the heart of Berlin for a language school (living on my savings until December 24th of last year).
As I didn't have any place to sleep at the start I stayed in a hostel for a whole month until I found a flat. Staying in the hostel was great I was happy and had loads of friends and was very active. We were sleeping in rooms of 10 people.
I found a flat and then little by little I started playing video games again.
First I reinstalled WoW and played a bit, then a bit more, then more and more. And then Video games took over completely again. I found a guild on WoW and was hanging out with them. And since July I played video games and isolated myself until 24th of December where I had to go back home and confront my parents about the fact that I had dropped out of the school.
After this I was feeling terrible about myself and wanted to end my life. So I made a contract with myself, that I would never play video games again, and so I did up to now. 50 days...
So its 50 days after and I'm craving really really bad to play LoL or WoW. I think about it everyday...
I have done loads of stuff this past 50days, with my friends, family, brother, I was called in 21 days to the army for a mission. But now its been two weeks since I finished my mission and I'm running out of stuff to do. I'm looking for a job as well but its not that easy because I like to watch series or videos on youtube or go out to the bar or parties to try and forget video games.
But despite all this I keep craving it and I feel like I'm back to my old life but without video games which is worse. I'm not doing anything at home AND I can't play video games so its even worse. I don't have that much friends or at least close friends or group of friends unfortunately.
I feel like I belong nowhere at the moment and feel like a total looser !
Has anyone else felt this way ?
If yes what did you do to feel less like a looser ?
Any input is appreciated.