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info-gatherer

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Everything posted by info-gatherer

  1. @BigOlBeartic omg thank you btw Yess I learned how to tag people @hycniejsy Hey Pharmacist! I think that among those “rights” there’s also the right to try to convert / accept to be converted / don’t accept to be converted Day 9 Spent the whole day at the library. 50 pages goal met. I’m happy about that. Then pretty boring dinner with gf and 2 other people. Goals for tomorrow: same as today EDIT: Blizzard finally deleted my HS account. I had my 5 min of “why the fk did I do this, I lost all my cards, all those nights spent playing”. I recovered soon. I need to focus on my life.
  2. Thanks stablish. I’m trying as you said and see if it works
  3. Thanks for sharing. Ye it sucks when you lie to your loved ones at the only purpose of nourishing your addiction. Stay strong. Day 8 I moved back to uni city and spent the remaining 3 hours of the afternoon studying. At the library I met my girlfriend and one of the few friends I have. Then I spent some time with my gf. In the city’s main place a guy and a girl approached us and we talked 40 min about God (they tried to convert us but we are agnostic). We prayed together. They GUARANTEED that thanks to the prayer I’m quitting smoking in 90 days bc God wants it. They were fanatic for sure, but good people with a big hearth. Afterwards I went to my gf house and we had dinner with her flatmate, which is sort of a friend of mine after all the time we spent together. I created a new cocktail, the Bloody Cowboy, a Bloody Mary variation bc we didn’t have all the ingredients for the original. It sucked. We poured it down the sink. Beautiful day. goals for tomorrow: waking up at the now usual 9, going to the library and studying 50 pages of a goddamn boring essay I have to read
  4. Hello, I have a couple questions: 1) How can I save the Respawn guide on iphone 6 (last iOS version) without having to download it every time? 2) Are there website-blockers for iPhone? I want to block specific websites, just to be sure. The best thing would be a blocker that works on Safari and Chrome, since I use both. thank you
  5. Day 7, evening Topic: looking forward This afternoon I started reading the Respawn guide and decided to delete all my gaming accounts, as recommended at the end of chapter 2. I already: -Sent a ticket to delete my LoL accounts, my main offender; hope they answer soon -“Deleted” Steam with TF2 and Skyrim Then had dinner and went visiting my uncle. He lent me his guitar, which I’m bringing to uni city tomorrow. I had dinner. Now I am going to: -Delete my Hearthstone account -Delete my Mobile Legends account -I can’t delete my WoW account since I share it with another person, but I didn’t use it for years and I don’t know the password anymore Deleting lol acc was expecially though, I kept thinking: 1 omg what if I change my mind 2 I’m losing everything I built in the last years 3 (this one helped me a lot going through it) well, if I ever relapse, at least I’m gonna try a new game 4 omg what if I change my mind 5 omg omg 6 omg 7 Selling it would be a better choice But I’m happy about my decision. I made a choice in my life and I’m sticking to it. It’s been 1 whole week not only without gaming (which is not that unusual for me, as you already know if you read my story) but also without checking websites, streamings and any gaming-related stuff. This didn’t happen for years. I’m the cleanest I’ve been in years. I even skipped fast whenever I saw a gaming advertising in websites. This week was overall easy, but I know that sooner or later cravings will come. I’ll let them come, I’m not scared. I will be clean at the end of the 90 days.
  6. Day 7 Today is a hard day. I feel guilty. I woke up at the usual 9 o’clock for the 4th or 5th day in a row. I’m proud of this goal and I look forward to turning it into a permanent rewiring of my “biological clock”. But here are the bad news: I still waste my time. All my time. Today I watched TV. That’s everything I did since I woke up. I didn’t watch TV for years, but this week I did. Looks like staying away from videogames is not enough. Tomorrow I’m going back to university city. I’m pretty sure that this means the end of my long days of apathy. Now I’m going to print the Respawn guide, which I bought last week and didn’t read yet. I’ll bring it with me. After that I’ll try to find a meaning for this day. I’ll take a walk or go visit my grandparents or some other stuff. Thank you for reading. EDIT: I have something to add. At lunch, my parents said that they noticed I have “changed”. I wake up early every day. My little brother, with whom I share my room, added that I don’t play games anymore. He noticed first because I used to wake him almost every night, since I played until late. Now he can sleep soundly every night, without having to worry about his 23yo addict brother that is wasting his life.
  7. Day 6 Went out with my sister, a friend of mine and a friend of her for a walk to the seaside (my sister organized it). We had some relaxing chat and played baseball with a stick and some pebbles. We’re going out again in the evening and eat japanese food, which I love. Pleasant and chill day. I made a short list of some books I’d like to read in the evening instead of watching streams. What happened to me is (not so) weird: since I became a philosophy & literature student, I started reading much less. You know, it’s not as funny when you HAVE to do it basically as a full-time job. Reading was my main passion when I was younger, and it always felt like relax, never work. With university, things changed. Ofc I still read a lot, but not as much as before. And most importantly, I enjoy it much less. Anyway, I did the list. It’s better than gaming and helps in building my future. This is probably all for today. Love you guys
  8. I always had (and sometimes still have) a similar problem with my father. It’s just that he’s always been a strong and authoritarian figure, always telling me what to do, what not to do, screaming in my face every day. I remember when I was a child promising myself I would hate him forever. Then I learned acceptance and forgiveness. I remember one other time, I was probably 14, he asked me: “I noticed you don’t talk to me, you don’t like me. Is there a way we can fix this?” I told him no, and after that I could feel something cracked into him. He didn’t care anymore as much about me. He was resentful. We never talked about that again. Anyway, I’m telling you this bc I know the feeling of embarassment/guilt that comes with being in the same room with my dad and trying to have a conversation and finding out that we have nothing to say to each other. In the end parents aren’t just parents, but people, too, with their needs and their feelings, and even if they’re more experienced, they still can be difficult at times. Well I tried to give advice but it looks like I’m pretty bad on this topic. P.S. my day also suffering from depression (more precisely anxiety / panic attacks / screaming while sleeping).
  9. What’s the thing with the cold shower? Looks like everybody in this forum has cold showers Btw yes I’ll try yoga, there is a state-funded org that offers sessions almost for free in uni city. I’ll let you know how it goes Day 5 (actually 6 since it’s past midnight) Not a day to remember. I finally start to get bored staying at my parents’ home. Yes, I will miss the comfort (decent heathing system, good food, private spaces, shared meals with human interaction) but it’s time to go back to uni city and seriously work on my exams (and meet my gf; really miss her). In uni city I live in a shared flat with some other people. A guy from Egypt, a girl from Japan and a fellow italian girl. I shared many flats with a lot of different people in the past 5 years. Sometimes it went very bad, sometimes very good. This time, in between. I don’t have almost any contact with them, we share the very occasional chat in the kitchen but most of the time we live our separate lives and don’t talk to each other. No hard feelings, just indifference. My flatmates told me they’re setting up an internet connection. We hadn’t one before. I feel ok, didn’t get scared at all by the news. I’m very positive I’m not going to relapse until detox is over. Instead, I see it as an opportunity. Being a BIG FAN of art house movies I will finally have the chance to try and join those (in)famous “private trackers” and do some illegal torrenting. My goal is to eventually manage to join Karagarga, which is a pretty obscure website and very difficult to access that supposedly hosts the biggest library of art house movies in the world (like the whole world). I’ll have to start with trackers that are easier to join and then try to hop somehow to KG. It will take some months, but (I hope) little effort: just leave the pc on and seed stuff, preferably 24/7. If it’ll take too much time and resources I guess I’ll just let it go, but I want to give it a shot and see how it goes. Speaking of movies, I just finished to watch Der siebsten kontinent by Michael Haneke, which I found emotionally devastating but also thought-provoking. Seeing the total wreckage of institutions like family, work and modern society that Haneke managed to depict so well in his first movie I’m even more incited to make some lasting changes in my life and save myself from the “evil” that roots in this world. I don’t wanna end like the protagonists of the movie. Anyway, now I’m going to bed bc I don’t wanna miss on the 9AM clock. Even accounting for different timezones you’ll probably read this tomorrow in the morning so... Good morning. Have a nice day
  10. Hi Bear, how are you? Dropped by to say I got inspired by you to set goals instead of just straight up not playing
  11. Hey Last 2 weeks I barely got out of parents’ home bc I didn’t feel well. I’m almost completely recovered now and Monday I’m going back to university city. I don’t do sports, except some months ago I started to play tennis once a week. Stopped for the christmas holidays and didn’t start again yet. Being a very hard smoker, sport is difficult for me. I’m thinking about pairing tennis with some kind of meditation or yoga, once a week as well, provided that the teacher won’t try to fill my head with new-age ideology I think I will stick with it. Day 5 Goal more or less met. Woke up at 9 sharp. Except, I didn’t do much with my time after that. Had breakfast, then lurked stopgaming subreddit (I know, I know...) then played the guitar for an hour. Didn’t start studying yet. I’m going to start now (past 11 AM here).
  12. Thank you J(e)RK. I think that I’m enjoying more everyday’s life since I stopped gaming and checking gaming websites. I’ll keep walking this path. Day 4 I think it’s come time to think about goals. Bear’s journal was very inspiring on this subject. I am going to take care of something I tried very hard to fix in the past years, without success: my sleep schedule. My goal is to wake up every day at the exact same hour, and go to bed at approximately the same hour every night. I’m gonna engage in a step by step process. This morning I woke up at 9, which is quite early for my standards. Yesterday I woke up at 9 too, because of the dentist. So my goal for tomorrow is: GOAL Waking up at 9.00, getting out of bed as soon as the clock rings. Having breakfast. Having a shower and being dressed by 9.30. If I manage to do this, I’ll make it a long-term goal. I’ll come back here in a few hours and write something more. EDIT: After just 10 minutes of study I fell asleep on the floor, at 5 PM, and woke up at dinner time, 8.20 PM. I feel very strange and confused. I never sleep in the afternoon, nor on the floor. I feel slightly depressed and demotivated. But I know I must stay strong.
  13. This is big. I believe you just helped me to better understand the very definition of addiction. It’s not how much time you play, but where your thoughts keep going. Fellow day 3 here, keep up the good work
  14. Yes, that’s exactly what I will be doing. Thank you for the advice! What is the language you’re fluent in?
  15. Still Day 3 Topic: Anger (and gaming ofc) This morning I went to the dentist. I need to pull out one of my tooth. As soon as I arrived, the secretary told me the steps that I had to follow: 1) clean my teeth with an assistant of the dentist 2) being visited by the dentist. I did step 1 and everything ran smoothly. After that, since the dentist was half an hour late, I went home to pick up a couple x-ray scans of my teeth that I thought could be useful for the dentist. While I was driving back to the dentist, my GF called me and told me a thing that made me upset. I arrived to the dentist 5 minutes late bc i couldn't find a place to park my car. The secretary told me that the dentist was now very busy and could not receive me. She told me to come back in the afternoon. That made me even more upset. I told her that I wasn't coming back in the afternoon, neither ever again. I was polite but firm. I felt angry because of what my GF told me and the fact that the dentist, which was 30 min late, declined to see me for being 5 min late. I was maybe too much impulsive. Anyway, the point is that I felt the need to check some articles or streamings about LoL to quench my anger. I immediatly recognised an unhealthy pattern: I'm angry -> I need to game. I didn't game, nor check any articles, streams, etc. I will not have any of this until the end of this detox, as I promised to myself. Now I ask myself how the hell am I gonna deal with my tooth
  16. Hey Italian is my main language EDIT: Day 3 I just woke up and went to check this site and Reddit. I didn’t participate to forum and online communities in years (not even Facebook, which I deactivated two years ago) so the fact I have this strong urge to check my notifications feels unhealthy for me. I want to check if someone messaged me, answered a post, commented on a post I also commented... you sure quitting games doesn’t cause internet addiction? Because picking up the phone and going online as the first thing I do in the morning is really not me and makes me feel dumb and slow (not figuratively: it gives me a little headache and dumbs my sensations).
  17. Thank you guys. You're awesome. I could never do this without your support. Day 2 Stayed home the whole day. I cooked for my little brother, which usually likes my cooking, but I guess that today I made a bit of a mess and my recipe was... charcoal-tasting? Spent the whole afternoon translating a poem from italian to english and launching a little project on the StopGaming boards. I don't translate often and it felt very good doing it. No cravings for gaming at all. Still a bit worried for when I'm moving back to the other city I live in ("university city").
  18. Hello everyone. I am a 23 years old, middle-class white male and I come from Italy. I have a serious gaming addiction. I want to tell my story. Yesterday I started my 90 days detox. I introduced myself to the community with this post on the StopGaming's subreddit. I'm here to share my ongoing experiences. Day 1 Yesterday I did a lot of things that I would normally not do if I spent the whole day gaming. Although I didn't engage in any particularly stimulating activitiy, I felt I was enjoying even the less appealing tasks. This is what I did: I went to the doctor and sit in the waiting room for 2 hours, without an appointment. There was a bunch of old people talking shit about government, social and medical issues. I just sit there and listened to them. You may not believe me, but I thought that I was very lucky to be there, near other human beings, hearing what they said, instead of being closed in my room. I also felt responsible for going to the doctor, as I should have before. After the first 40 minutes, I got a book out of my backpack and started studying. I didn't feel distracted. I studied for an hour. Finally the doctor visited me. After that, I went buying some new jeans. All my trousers are ruined and full of holes. For 2-3 months I wanted to buy some new pair but I didn't find the time to do it, the urge of gaming was too strong. I then passed a little shop while walking back to my car. I remembered that many years ago I bought a sandwich in there with a very tasty kind of meat I've never found anywhere else. I remembered its name (Cecina de Leon), so I asked the owner about it. He explained me that it's a quality of iberic bresaola, very difficult to find. In fact, he didn't have any in stock, but he made me a sandwich with another kind of meat that I had never tried. Not as good as the Cecina, but quite tasty. At dinner, instead of eating as fast as possible and running to my pc, I talked with my family. In the evening I watched a movie, Days of heaven by Terrence Malick. At first I thought I didn't like it, but the scene of the locusts was glorious. Overall 6,5/10. Well, this is what I did. It may not be anything special, but I didn't game, nor watch any streams or websites gaming-related. I had trouble sleeping, I kept thinking about my decision to do this detox. I never questioned it or wished to back out, but I was obsessed. I wished it was already over, I wished i could already be free from the cravings. I fell asleep at 2.30 AM. Hope this one wasn't too boring. I know, it's just standard everyday activities everyone carries out. But I'm very proud of the way I spent my day instead of playing 15 games of LoL. Later I'll probably come back and write something about my hobbies. Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave a comment.
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