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zachscott

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Everything posted by zachscott

  1. Hello my name is Zach and I've been addicted to video games since 2005. I'm now 23 and have been trying to quit video games for the past couple years. I've always been very tired sleeping for 15 hours per day and the only thing that ever seemed to cure this was playing runescape. Ever since I met my girlfriend now fiance I've found it easy to quit runescape as I'm always spending time with her. We started dating in Sept 2016 so I've done pretty good not playing runescape. However I feel like playing video games at all takes away from my quality of life. I find that most things are very boring and I don't have motivation to do anything. This is probably like the 90 day detox video said my brain wants to play video games and it effected my reward system. The games I've not really wanted to play but just end up playing when I'm bored is pokemon go (this got me addicted to video games again, yes it help me meet my fiance and the game is quite social but I want to quit), angry birds, and a few other titles I find myself deleting and re downloading again. I've since downloaded applock to lock the appstore. I was at first tempted to buy a cheap blackberry phone so I could still text but I use an amazing app called headspace to meditate which I'm on day 21 which I'm very happy of. I felt I needed to come here at this very instance because I looked into a how to build an android app course and the first project is you build a simple card game. This was the first urge I got to play a video card game (not sure why I didn't get an urge to play actual cards) so I quickly put my laptop aside for 2 minutes then came here. I have quit video games for short amounts of times many times. The biggest time was I did quit for around 90 days when I failed 1 course in college due to not studying for the final test and playing runescape because it was double xp. This felt amazing because I eventually got bored of being inside and went outside on walks and took pictures. So anyways here I am on day 1 of my journey. My biggest problem is being tired and bored all the time. But hopefully without the option to game this will cure itself, maybe not though because having the option to game I still chose to lay in bed all day sleeping mind you not just twiddling my thumbs. I do need to eat better but I'm not eating horribly either. I just wish I had something to do that was as fun as playing runescape. Sometimes I get this thought in my head that if I played runescape it would keep me awake but then I know it wouldn't because I'd let my self down by a massive amount if I allowed myself to play that game again well after a year. It doesn't help that I've been getting dreams about playing runescape recently. I think these dreams message are to try and find something that is equally or greater fun than runescape. You know it may not be perfect but for the time being I think just watching tv is the best replacement for gaming. I need a low energy hobby. The thing that I still need to find however is an instant reward system. Like gaming you got experience points and leveled up. I don't know how to find this in real life. The closest thing I can find is coding. HTML is fun but I'm more interested in a scripting language to make a program of sorts. I like to see the project grow bigger but then I want something to constantly do with that app which loops back to gaming like rolling dice or attacking a monster. If there was just a way to constantly use an app I create that's not gaming that'd be a huge breakthrough. Nice to be here time to write a journal.
  2. zachscott

    zach's journal

    Today went pretty well. I did sleep in but not as much as yesterday. I got up, had only chocolate milk for breakfast and headed to meet my wife at the mall. I meditated when I got there, grabbed a coffee then went for a walk while my wife caught pokemon. I then went to my doctors appointment which also went well. Came back down town, grabbed something to eat. Bought a birthday present for my wife. Then we hopped on the bus and she caught pokemon whiled we chatted. Then headed home, ate a tiny bit. Watched half a movie, now off to bed because I have an early morning. Tomorrow I have a very important meeting with a job coach to then setup a join date for job training. Then after that I'll have a job placement. I'm very happy & really looking forward to that. Until nextime. Peace, love & happiness! Zach
  3. zachscott

    zach's journal

    This is my first day here. I feel sad because I can't find anything to replace gaming and I'm tired all the time. I guess being tired all the time makes me more sad than finding a replacement for gaming but it could be if I find a replacement I'd be more awake who knows. Everything I mean everything seems boring to me so that's why I'm starting the 90 day detox to hope I find more interest in things that are kinda fun to me like playing pool, reading, playing darts, and working on my website. It just makes me sad because I just set up a website for meditation and I have so much I could be doing but now I don't feel motivated to work on it and that makes me sad. Also If I could find an app I can consistently use but it's not gaming that'd be amazing. I don't know if that exists though. Anyways here I am on day 1 of my journey. I hope to be here tomorrow. I can't make any promises because I pick up and give up on things quite easily. Peace, Love & Happiness! Zach
  4. zachscott

    zach's journal

    So today was really hard, am pushing away my wife because I'm in denial that she loves me even though she cries trying so hard to show me she does. Just wish this journey was easy. Tomorrow will be better #staystrong
  5. zachscott

    zach's journal

    So it's community day for pokemon go featuring mareep which is in my top 40 pokemon. My wife was planning to drive around with a friend of ours as its too shitty weather to be outside. I watched cams vid "3 things you need to replace gaming". Because one of them was social, I decided to tag along and bring only my wallet, phone with google play store/settings locked with password at home & a book. I'm realizing that I dont have to play pokemon to benefit from the social aspect. Having a great time right now, havent even cracked my book yet. Listening to breaking bengimen for the first time, its their new album too, in the car. Sipping on my tims for all you canadians :). Will update later :) Peace, love & happiness zach!
  6. zachscott

    zach's journal

    So I know I already posted today but I don't consider them a journal post. So we're almost to the end of the day. I got up this morning, had 2 cups or Greek Yogurt and some chocolate milk for a small breakfast and I was off to working on my website. At first I was following the video guide word for word but then I got discouraged because I saw no point in having a US shipping address when I live in Canada. Further I didn't see any point in paying $40 USD per month for a US phone number when I have no traffic to my website and people wouldn't be calling 99% of the time anyways. Also I missed having my niche meditation store vs having a general store as the guide uses. So I got frustrated because I spent $20 on a domain name and I thought yet again that I was giving up on my own business. I threw my headphones on the ground in frustration and stormed to the bedroom. Luckily my wife was able to comfort me. I have a bad habit of hitting myself in the head when I'm angry at myself and she put her hand there and I accidentally hit her hand. Then I felt bad and I actually listened to her. She reassured me that starting your own business is hard and changes don't happen over night. Reminded me of a stat that I told her that it takes a business an average of 1-2 years to get their first sale. My anger was still on a roller coaster, however downward though. She said my anger probably came from the lack of dopamine because of no gaming but that I had a slight advantage because of my ADHD medication also gives me some dopamine so I wasn't that bad off. I sadly hit myself in the head a couple of more times then I cooled down. I have a bad habit of saying/temporarily giving up on things when they are too hard because often I try to build Rome in a day. So after some time away from trying to build up a brand new website I told my wife that I had motivation to work on my old website and what she thought of this. She asked is it anxiety based motivation to earn money or is it good motivation that you want to do it for fun and because you actually want to. I said it was good motivation because it was and she concluded that it was probably a good idea to go back. So I went back to my old website, re-designed it for the 5th time on a design I finally love and now it's ready for marketing. Because I'm currently living off of my overdraft/cc waiting for disability to kick in and a job placement I'll know Monday if I get accepted I literally have no money. I asked Jen my wife if it was okay if I spent $30 per month on advertising for my website. She said it was best to wait until I got my placement. This made a lot of sense to me because it's not like my website is going to make me money in that time anyways so I needed to have patience. However later I asked if I could run a $7 ad campaign to get likes for my Facebook page as recommended in this video: Which I love because I'm totally broke and needed a good guide to help me build a business of my dreams. She said $7 is not a lot of money and it is a 1 time purchase just to get initial likes to create a snowball effect to grow your page which you can advertise your shopify website with so we agreed on that. However I went one step further and said I'm not going to start the campaign for 3-7 days only after I get comfortable posting 3-4 times per day on my page. Here's my website if you're interested in viewing it: https://www.keepmeditating.ca/ So that's the point I'm at today. I'm kind of at a stale mate for 24h while my page gets transferred from a business profile to a personal profile. However I did work on it for around 3-4 hours today and I feel very accomplished. My cute kitty just jumped up beside me and my wife is petting her. I'm going to spend some time with my cat because I don't give her nearly enough attention. Then I'll go over my checklist I wrote last night and bang out the most important notes then try and get the rest too. One of those notes is reading which I really recommend. I noticed when I started gaming again that I wanted to read but my brain didn't which that day lead to me quiting again. Another check mark is going through my physically written journal and taking notes from past entries to write important points and lessons learned. Honestly I really prefer the physical journal over typing because I feel my emotion going into the paper. The only reason I write on here is to keep on track and to share my story with others. So I'm technically 1 day passed because I quit last night but to me my day really starts in the morning just for easiness. Well I wish all of you good luck! Peace, Love & Happiness! Zach
  7. zachscott

    zach's journal

    @marcopolobus Thanks for the feedback! Yes I'm currently in counselling and am on a 14 day streak with meditation with headspace.
  8. zachscott

    zach's journal

    I think simply being prepared before I decided to quit. Say the night I decided to quit video games, come up with a few solid hobbies I'm going to try out and for urges jump to your videos. Right now I'm keeping myself busy watching this 30 day challenge of building up a shopify store. I've always had an entrepreneurial drive in me since I was around 10 so I'm finding this playlist very informative and holds your hand the whole way.
  9. zachscott

    zach's journal

    So I'm already getting worried about tomorrow morning. I got this though! I'll set my alarm for 8 hours then wake up to some of cams videos.
  10. zachscott

    zach's journal

    So I know I tried this a long time ago but I relapsed hard and actually tried and failed for a 1 day detox 2 weeks ago now I'm coming in with more planning. I'm watching Cam's vids and going to find a buddy on reddit to help quit with. I just needed to be better prepared to stop the relapse. Further, my fiance & I found the solution to working on my business too much which was me sitting in the corner so she didn't see me so she didn't felt ignored. Also I had a bit of stress from trying to get my first sale on my business but my friend who is a life coach in training and entrepreneur said it takes a new business and average of 1-2 years to get their first sale. This really hit home with me and took off the pleasure of going crazy trying to get my first sale. Anyways my 90 day gaming detox starts now so my first full day will be Saturday April 14 2018. Funny because 13 is my lucky number so Friday the 13th is one of my luckiest days. I'm committing to coming here and writing at least once for the entire 90 days, so if I don't post here something is wrong. Even if it's a simple check in like "hey things are going great, read most of the day and ate well" etc... Peace!
  11. TLDR at bottom. I just started my detox again after relapsing after 45 days then relapsing a few more times. After re-reading this I could see the gaming fog kick in towards the end. Life will get better, things will become more fun. The reason I relapsed the first time was I got obsessed with working on my website and my fiance felt like I wasn't there. This was cured by me sitting in the corner so she didn't see me so she didn't feel ignored. Yet I still went back to gaming even though the problem was solved. The reason I went back to gamign the 2nd 3rd and 4th time by even sticking with gaming for over 1 month was because I wasn't fully prepared. I've since watched the 90 day detox video again, 7 things to first expect when quiting, why you should quit gaming and going to watch a few more before bed. The best advice I was ever given when I failed 1 course in college was to remove the option to game. So I decided to order the blackberry phone, texting capability with wifi and app support (non google play) I know the google play is addable on it through crack berry but at least that's another step and either way Pokemon Go is not supported, neither is Greasy Money, nor angry birds evolutions and even if clash of clans is supported, it's not like I could play on a 3" touch screen lol. So I think I'm set with this phone. The phone arrives around 4/20 and I'll be listing my 3ds on ebay soon as well as selling my smart phone after I receive my blackberry and will look into selling my tablet as well cause thats a huge Clash of Clans trigger. Excuses I make to keep my tablet for ebooks are just my gaming addiction tricking me. I have to look at my reality, I've been buying physical books because I actually found I like them better than ebooks. Someday dream of having a maybe 1-2 books shelves. 25% books for reference 25% books for re-readability and 50% for new books that I have to read then when I do read them if they don't fit into the previous 2 categories I sell or donate them. I've since been enrolled in a youth job program in my city, acceptance wont know until monday but for some od reason I dont get accepted it just means im not ready and my worker will work on personal skills before then get accepted later. However she believes I'm ready...will know monday. It's 3 week paid training (get to work on budgetting too YAY!) I know a lot about basic budgetting but dont do it so this will put me back on track, and some other whmis and safety stuff. Then after that it's a placement where I chose trades as my focus but I was open to suggestions. My previous job was a millwright which I went to school for (went back for 1 semester to finish failed class) still one of my greatest achievements ever in my 23 years on this earth. I got fired for many reasons, gaming was one of the big ones. From the employers view they may have fired me from trying to find a girl friend there (was hitting up 4 women at different times not doing my work just talking) but the real reason was gaming because I didn't have a good work/personal life balance where I could have met a woman from actually going outside...luckly I'm spiritually married now. God I can write a lot...anyways that's one of the things I want to work on is doing TLDR. I do feel I need to write all this to flush my ideas and stress out but I like leaving TLDR for people including me who sometimes dont have the time or energy to reas through paragraphs. My long typing is more for me than you but aha if this helps you then awesome. Sorry I'm all over the place, it's late and I have adhd, working on it :). TLDR: selling everything that allows me to game, preparing myself better this time so I don't relapse by watching stop gaming videos/coming here for urges. Have some great books on success in my reading line up, just finishing the one thing, have the power of habit, and some other great books too I cant remember the names of. My one thing is meditating so I plan to do that everyday and have been for every day but one of the past 14 days. Going to find a buddy on reddit to quit gaming, try new hobbies & meditate every day. Peace!
  12. zachscott

    zach's journal

    TLDR at end. Wow! 40 days so far, my fiance & I are so proud of me. I'm so happy I've made it this far. I posted this over on the reddit group titled: I have a new addiction, thinking OCD is the problem & not gaming So I've really been going hard on building up my business recently. This is a completely new concept to me (shopify, facebook etc...) and there are literally several thousands of hours of free education out there. This has since taken over my life in an okay way not completely bad. What's different this time is I'm eating, exercising, GOING TO SCHOOL, sleeping well. However, my big problem is spending quality time with my fiance. I didn't have a problem with this when I played video games. Yes there served a problem when I was in the loop looking for a runescape replacement and would keep downloading trying out new games, playing random games 24/7 and made no leeway. HOWEVER, when I played Pokemon Go & Angry Birds Evolutions, it was only ever a problem with bad planning. Meaning there is a part in Pokemon Go where you hord pokemon to then do a huge double xp purge using an item. This wouldn't be a problem if I only saved up enough Pokemon for 1-2 lucky eggs (30m-60m). But when I'd get too efficient and try and hord like 3 hours of pokemon waiting for a double xp event to get x4 xp, that's when things got overboard because poke storage fills up fast and if you go past 30m-60m of pokemon you'll be forced to do all of them all at once hence 3 hours straight or your poke storage will always be full which is a bitch. The reason I'm going so in depth into this is because my fiance & I are finding it hard to find hobbies that we can bond together. It's the dead of winter and there's not much to do. We're broke so we can't afford much other than what we have already. We purchased some pokemon cards which are okay, I'm helping my fiance handle losing so I'm going to be teaching her how to play better by open hand playing. However I have ADHD and she has likely ADD so we both need a couple of hobbies to bounce back and force between. I'm wondering what you guys think of me only playing Pokemon Go and Angry Birds Evolutions only with and when my fiance is playing. I personally don't see this as a problem because I'm so addicted to working on my business that I know I won't fall into the trap of 100% gaming again. Further Pokemon Go requires exercise and is very social. When we go out and play that we never play for more than 2 hours. We take breaks at the mall, meals and coming home. Even though we are playing the game for 2 hours at a time I don't see this as typical game playing. We mostly talk about our day, what we're up to, what challenges and goals we're working on. If anything Pokemon Go helps me IN MODERATION. Further, on the angry birds note, this game is limited with the amount you can play. Yes you can get a pvp ticket every 5 minutes, but it'd be smarted to wait 1+h till you max out your tickets. Even then I'd only be allowing myself to play when my fiance plays. Any off time I'd be working on my business or reading. My fiance doesn't think this will be a problem. Further, I had a previous video games addictions counselor and he didn't think I couldn't handle playing video games and thought it was something deeper that needed managing hence the recent discover of OCD. I think the reason I got addicted to working on my business is because I love self-education. Yes there's reading which I do partake in sometimes but knowledge without implementing it is pointless to me. Such is why I read meditation/business books. Sorry besides the point. Back to the interest in self-education. I found a great course on Udemy on how to start a fiverr business. My fiance is also interested in this but doesn't know if she'll like it till she tries it. My plan is to have 3 core hobbies. 1. My business, 2. Pokemon go/angry birds/Pokemon cards with my fiance, 3. Couples education where my fiance and I continue to find and complete courses together that we both love & implement changes we learned from the course. For example we also found a course on how to create music playlists based off psychology to control your mood. We will be able to play around with that and master our moods. I believe with these 3 things my life will have balance to prevent OCD taking over. Peace, Love & Happiness! Zach. TLDR; Dead of winter, finding it hard to find hobbies to bond with my fiance especially when we're broke and both quite picky. I want to attempt to play only Pokemon Go & Angry Birds Evolutions for social and bonding reasons with my fiance and only when she's playing. (Further, do you think I deserve to keep my stopgaming counter to continue to go up if I followed these rules). OCD I've discovered is the problem and not video games, my past video games addictions counselor did think there was a deeper problem and thought I actually could handle video games with proper training. My new addiction is working on my business and it's taking a way from bonding time with my fiance. I want to create balance with 3 core hobbies all like drugs to me. However with 3 different "drugs" there will be balance. 1. business 2. pokemon go/angry birds/pokemon cards with fiance 3. Take online courses together with my fiance. I do believe I can handle video games within moderation and so does my fiance. Friends & social should be the only drive. It's when I get into solo/rpg that's DANGER zone ie. runescape/clash of clans. Let me know what you think. PEACE!
  13. zachscott

    zach's journal

    My daily journal. I'm assuming that the 90 day detox helps you be able to handle playing video games. My old video games addictions therapist told me he thought I could handle playing video games and I just needed to learn how to complete other hobbies throughout the day to grow appreciation for them. Further I needed to work on hygiene and eating. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Ever since I quit playing Runescape well over 1 year ago I haven't gamed more than 6 hours spread out over the day vs 12+ hours. This 6 hours was playing pokemon go and I find it quite energizing and social. Also other games include Angry Birds and Greasy Money. Both of these games have totaled 6 hours before and that was a bit too much because my fiance would only play about 4. My goal is to mostly only game when my fiance is. I mean if I game when she is in bed that's fine. It's just I don't want to game past times when she isn't and she's awake as well because this cuts into our us time. I'm currently sleeping for 12 hours a day and I think my nurse will be able to get that down to at least 10. So lets go with 10 hours per day. I have 12 hours of school plus I will be getting a part time job of 4 hours. Add 2 hours per week for home work so that's 20 hours of used time per week. Divide that by 7. 2.85 hours per day used up roughly. Let just go with 3 because of commuting time. So 24-10 sleep = 14 hour time avl. - 3 work/school = 11 subtract another 1 for eating times that's 10 subtract another 1 for meditation + showering (still need to work on showering, for now I shower as needed and this is a huge improvement) brushing teeth, getting dressed + my average for the week of going grocery shopping so now we're at 9 hours. My fiance always has a 1-2 hour nap because she has broken sleep thanks to work and also suffers from insomnia and pain. Sometimes I don't mind having a slightly shorter nap like either 5 minutes 30 minutes but no longer than 1 hour. Best case scenario I have no nap or 5 minutes because I like lying with my hunny. This time would be best spent doing my finances, working on my website, meditating, doing the dishes, petting and taking care of my cat, taking out the garbage, and maybe after all of that is done or I get bored of all of that then maybe a bit of gaming of course after my 90 day detox. All of that should keep me fairly busy though. I mean there's always marketing to do on my website (don't know how to market yet but taking a small business course to help). So most of her naps are 1 hour I can easily make it through that without gaming. So now we're at 8 hours. After this summer I will have completed a student summer company course and will scale back the business for the school year of sept 2018. So this I plan to work on 3 hours per day averaged out through the weekends. so now we're at 5 hours. I'd like to dedicate at least by the time all this gets set into place sept 2018 30 minutes of piano per day. that puts me at 4.5 hours. I'd also like to do crochet, Sudoku, paint by number or cross stitch for another ahhh lets say 1 hour between that stuff. That puts me at 3.5 hours and this time is the perfect time left over to game. I'm fairly happy with this plan. Of course too much structure is a bad thing that's why I'm just going to let my days flow. Because I'm working on meditation I'm getting a lot better on being present throughout the day. This will allow me to at a bare minimum cover the essentials of eating, sleeping, hygiene, school, work and some non-gaming hobbies thrown in there. Let me know how you're doing on your daily schedule, forming new habits and your 90+ day detox is going. Peace, Love & Happiness! Zach S.
  14. zachscott

    zach's journal

    well i made it through day 2. i slept for most of it but i made it. my nurse recommended cross-stitching for me and it looks quite interesting. I'm going to order a kit tomorrow. also she's helping me lower my sleep through some sleep program they have at the clinic. well time for bed, peace, love & happiness, zach
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