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About BenB

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  1. It's been over a year since leaving Azeroth / World of Warcraft. No looking back. Honestly I don't have time for it. Also, the last time I went back (Legion), it was still addictive to be sure, but the community bit wasn't the same as when the game first started. It's more PUG than ever. No guildies / online-friendships helping each other out as much, etc. I'll always have good memories from the vanilla days when my guild ventured into Naxxramas and downed the first boss. But there's no going back. However, I've fallen (back) into another addiction that I'm ready and trying to break myself from. Pornography. Ugh. What a waste of time and talent. Not good for my marriage either. It's given me and I've had for about 10 years ED. It could be that and medication, but it certainly isn't helping. I'm gonna reach out to a very trusted, non-judgy friend for some accountability. Time for some rewiring. On the good news end: I graduated in September with my Bachelors of Science in IT. I also worked for 2 months as a Developer in Austin, TX. It was very needed. My situation at home was, I feel, ugly. I was very depressed, anxious, stressed, arguing with my wife, misreading and misunderstanding her. Downward spiral. I overthink things a lot. If i'm stressed, it's very hard for me to get "outside of myself". I was on my own in Austin. Had to relearn and get an appreciation again of how to take care of myself instead of 50/50 ish duties. Austin is towards the peaceful end of the stress spectrum whereas Miami's "TILT" on the stressful side. In Austin people are friendly, actually let you in when there's heavy traffic. I loved Austin every minute. I lost my job over a technicality even though my instructors and superiors fought for me to stay. Still, it was a great learning experience, I really learned a lot in a short amount of time. The food out there is awesome too. I'm now back in Miami. My stress level isn't as high as when I left. I'm now job searching in the Boston / New Hampshire area. My wife is going to give birth in 3 weeks. Life could be better, and it will get better. But it could be a whole lot worse too.
  2. Been a while. Haven’t visited Azeroth since last September. I’m very close to attaining my goals. I’m on my last class for my degree. I’m actively searching for an entry level software developer position in the Dallas, TX area. Life’s pretty good right now.
  3. Hi everyone! Ben here. I've been meaning to post for a while. I'm more active on Facebook but think it would be great to post here as well. My story's a long one. I keep getting overwhelmed by what to write and where to start. But as they say, you have to start somewhere. I've been gaming since I can remember. Since Super Mario Brothers showed up at the arcade in a nearby town. There I'd spend hours feeding quarters like I was the fastest player of Hungry Hippos. Gaming hasn't been my only addiction. In my teenage years, I was pretty depressed. I've had ADHD and RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) since about 6th grade 12/13. I'm 38. I also got made fun of a lot in school because I have eczema, a pretty bad case (which might finally go away thanks to a new medication. So, yeah, teenage years, downward spiral, bad grades, marijuana my last year, college binging, eventually ecstasy. I was a mess. Understandable to me now that I have some clarity. I got my wake up call when 3 of my friends died in a speeding accident. Their lives were over. Mine wasn't. Thankfully I've been clean of weed and ecstasy since 2000. With the medication I'm on, I can't drink anymore, which I'd have 1 or two and stop myself. I have to run to class now. I'm finally finishing my degree in IT and getting Microsoft Certifications so I can achieve my dream of a career in Computer Programming.
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