NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Mettermrck
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Posts posted by Mettermrck
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I go to bed early too. You might miss out on night stuff but you sure get a lot done in the morning to get your day started right.
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I noticed I relapse with porn if I go into my bedroom to lay down for a nap. That leads to fapping which leads to porn. I have to stay out of the bedroom. It's a tough battle.
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That check list sums up my recent life, 86_PT. No more thank goodness...
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Day 6/90. I am still strong. It's easy enough in the sense of not gaming but I'm having to be tough in managing my time and finding things to do. I went to church in the morning which helps me spiritually. For the rest of the day I rotated reading, podcasts, Game Quitters youtube videos, and walking. I made it but I know I need more.
Listened to the latest Cam's podcast episode, the speech in Vegas. Great episode. I need more material for my morning walk, Cam! ? Actually, I liked Jason's story about selling his games. You can't stay where you are, he said. I can't. I can't remain a child. I'm not sure I ever fully became an adult, even at 41. Now is my time.
Had a brief temptation on YouTube. I was clearing off gaming videos from my suggested feed and marking the videos as "not interested". I let myself watch a video from Mass Effect 3 and wow was I sucked back into the world. I've finished that trilogy at least 3 times and I love that world. I watched it once and then said not interested and then stopped for the day. Wow those videos were powerful.
I realize that my weight loss is perfect for an activity with measurable growth and achievements like a game. Tracking pounds gives me measurable results. Weight loss is my project.
But I also need something creative. I don't want to go crazy early in my physical changes with all its withdrawal symptoms. But I need something to engage my mind and allow me to potentially express myself. I listen to a lot of historical podcasts. I'm thinking about doing one someday. In the meantime, I might start doing a little research on the weekends and work on planning, ideas, episodes, timelines, etc. I'll start with 1/2 hr/day next weekend and work my way up.
Finally, I've been reconnecting with old friends and family on Facebook. The best thing about giving up gaming and soda is my sudden desire to connect with people and reestablish community. One of my friends is even trying to see if he can line me up a better paying job. No guarantees, but it felt great.
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I'm sorry you're struggling, Hitaru. Stay strong...you've been a good example to me.
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Yes, I've noticed bad foods get tied up in my lapses into gaming and porn. It's like a unified culture of hedonism I guess haha. I've been eating more boring foods. That helps but it's not easy. Hang in there!
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Nah, no one judges your journal. I think I've restarted my 90 days about 4-5 times in the last 2 years and I've never been judged or criticized, only supported. You're doing great...
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Congratulations on your success and your first app.
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Day 5/90. A bittersweet day. I talked to my wife and she believes the marriage is over. We have about 2.5 months until our separation is up and she can divorce me. I told her I still can't give up hope but that I would respect her wishes when the time comes. We even went to the beach with her niece. It was great and it was sad. I see what I've missed out on by hiding away, gaming and eating.
The funny thing is, there was no temptation to relapse. I feel at peace in letting the games go. I am ready now. There's no thought of returning to them in the future. And even if the divorce happens, I am becoming a new man.
I lost 2.4 lbs this week and down to 311. Just gotta keep walking and stay off the fast food. I just need to be patient and enjoy the ride. As Cam said in podcast episode 6 yesterday, I have to double down on what's working and not get complacent and cocky and let my guard down. I have hope because I have let go of my addictions. I need to hold to that.
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Yep, boredom at work is a killer. It's easy to slack off, sneak away and play games. I'm lucky in that you can wear headphones at work and I listen to podcasts. Good job avoiding the games. Don't be afraid to journal. Your posts help us as much as they help you. They help us know we're not alone.
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I live with my mother actually in the condo next door to where my wife and I lived. We're separated right now and a good chance we're heading towards divorce. I'm not sure if these lifestyle changes of mine will be enough but I'm still doing them for me.
My family is spread out all over the country and I hardly see them anymore. I've burned friendships and pushed many more friends away over the years. If you replace "video games" and "soda/fast food" with "drugs" and "alcohol", that's me, with similar consequences.
I'm grateful that even if I lose my marriage, my life will never get to that point again. I am at peace letting those addictions go. But I had to hit rock bottom to get there.
That's why I value family and friendship so much. I've wasted it over the years and now I want to build it back.
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Another in his early 40's! I'm 41. You're definitely not alone.
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Welcome back...I've been in and out too...started a couple years ago. I think I'm on my 4th and 5th try but I know this is my final try.
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I used to use Steam and only bought games that went on sale but I still blew plenty of money. I just kept buying them faster than I could play them.
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Day 4/90. I'm hanging in there. There was only some anxiety yesterday, actually during the day instead of at night. I had a bout of crying over money issues with my Mom and I. I've blown so much money on games, soda, fast food. We're tight right now but only because of ourselves. We'll recover thanks to my abstinence but it takes time and it's nerve wracking in the meantime.
I felt light headed but that's probably due to my calorie drop. My boss at work said I looked taller and skinnier and stuff like that makes it all worth it.
I listened to Cam's podcast interview with Adam Roa yesterday on my morning walk. I liked when they talked about taking the time to grow your container so that you'll have the capacity for leadership and such. This was big for me because I tend to get impatient with myself. Ok, so now you've quit gaming, time to find your life changing purpose and get going!
But I realize that I have work to do on my container. For myself, for the next year or two, weight loss IS my project. I'm 6'0" 313lbs as of last week. I've been much bigger in my life (475 in 2004) but also much smaller (190 in 1998). That big jump was triggered by my getting overstressed, not asking for help, and dropping out of college. For about 18 years since, I've been massively heavy. I've made fits of progress here and there but never followed through all the way. Gaming and eating out and porn have all been distractions from the pain.
Now I am facing up to that. Yes, I have big dreams to express myself. But first I am going to slay my 18 year old dragon, my extra weight. That is my life changing purpose for now.
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It's such a time sink, isn't it? The worst is the weekends. I have huge 8-10 hr blocks of time to fill. I'm glad you have family around you. That helps...
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Welcome, Keeno! I too look at the people around me who go places or have friends and family over to visit or go out and I want want what they have. Gaming just stands in our way.
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Sounds like you have great mechanical skills. Imagine what you can accomplish without the huge time sink of gaming. I'm glad you've started your journal. Don't worry about anyone judging you...we all go through these experiences together and I tend to be a worse judge on myself. ?
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Welcome Hassan! I'm just resuming my detox after several relapses so you're not alone!
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Wow congratulations way to go!
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A morning plan saves my day. Get up and walk, shower, eat a light breakfast and I'm off to a good start. But yeah I have to get to bed early to make it work. I also aim for an evening walk or even a midday walk on the weekends to keep me flexible for surprises
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Day 3/90. I made it through the night. Reading, meditation, and melatonin helps. I slept well, got up and did my morning walk for 40 min and had a good start. I'm feeling more hope each day. I am doing it. I feel more serious this time. I know I can't get cocky, I can't let my guard down. But I am doing this.
From Cam's podcast episode 4 with Tyler...the role identity plays in my life. Before, I had an ideal life I was moving towards in my head. It was moderate and comfortable. A good job, a good marriage, some money, church on sundays, some friends, with some soda and some gaming...relaxed, comfortable. But whenever I tried moderation there was what I call "turbulence", stressors that knocked me out of my path and caused me to binge and regret. Detox is the only way I can think of to short circuit that tape.
Now I think of it more as floating around the river bend. I've thrown my baggage overboard, the soda gaming and porn. I don't know what's around the bend but I'm excited about it. I want my wife to be there but I just don't know.
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You just give me more hope, onlysoul. Thank you...
Bob's Journey
in Daily Journals
Posted
Day 7/90. I have moved from the honeymoon into the grind. In the beginning, despite the withdrawal symptoms, you have the novelty of your changes as well as the hope and anticipation of the future and how different things will be. And that's still there for me. But now comes the realization that it'll really take 1-2 yrs on the weight loss front and that I'll need to fight through the hunger, light headedness, boredom, and anxiety for 300-600 more days. And there's a good chance I'll lose my marriage and there's worrisome job contract talks about the end of the year, and there'll still the worries over money etc.
I'm not giving up and I don't feel tempted to game or have a soda. Just having a moment of self-pity I guess. I just have to grit my teeth and keep going. Sometimes 90 days or a year or two look smaller before you start. But they do have an ending, a really happy ending.