NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Mettermrck
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Posts posted by Mettermrck
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I love roast beef....or roasted beef hehe. That's something to be grateful for!
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Welcome back, Math! I restarted my journal 4-5 times over a two year period before I feel like I'm truly ready to quit. You will learn from relapsing.
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I know what you mean, giblets. I sometimes feel an internal pressure to move towards a productive hobby...and then I wonder if I'm just being too impatient. It could be that your tastes are gradually changing and messing with electronics doesn't have the same meaning that it used to? You don't have to rush but be mindful of your feelings about this.
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I agree that when I feel I've had a productive work week, I don't mind the down time on the weekends as much...I appreciate it more.
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I wonder if at some point I will find closure for my own journey...but I'm still early on. Congratulations and best of luck, SpiNips.
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Day 26/90. I'm spending the weekend with my Dad here in Bluffton SC, a few hours south of where I live. It was good to reconnect with family and and confide in people about the struggles I've been going through. Yet for all the struggles, I felt optimistic with the changes I'm going through and I think things will be ok. My Dad said it sounded like I had a good attitude. He's going to have my cousins take a look at my car and make sure it runs well. They both manage tire shops so that'll make things easier on me.
We had a good time yesterday. We had a nice lunch together and then we went to the pool to swim and lounge around. My Dad and I had a good talk in the hot tub and he was saying how important it is to have family around you. And that is so true! It was nice being able to confide in him and not feel so self-conscious about my problems as I have in the past. I think I'm being more open and honest in dealing with them.
They served a fantastic dinner with gumbo,, london broil, caprice salad, corn on the cob, and bread. And with my food changes, I ate heartily. I felt a bit guilty afterwards for overeating but I'll be back at it this week for working out and watching my eating. It was a vacation after all.
I drive back today...too bad it was such a short visit but I enjoyed it. I'm riding along with him in 3 weeks to visit my cousins so that'll he fun.
Gratitude:
1. I spent quality time with my father and his wife this weekend.
2. I have a supportive family around me.
3. I got to eat a delicious hearty meal last night!
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You're doing great, Jess. I like your journal, Jess, very well organized. Just keep focusing on getting through the next 24 hours without video games and the next and the next. It makes the task seem less daunting and pretty soon the cravings will decrease without you even knowing it.
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That's great Dirk! You're doing well keeping away from gaming and let's plays. I know the porn can be tough to battle but keep at it. It's worth the effort.
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Well sounds like a good day, onlysoul, very productive.
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What poem is that? I like that...really fits
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Day 25/90. Another good day. I finally met with.my counselor who returned after a 3 week cross country trip. Boy was I glad to see him! I think my mood has stabilized and my withdrawal symptoms are much less. But it was still nice to tell him about all the stuff I've been through. And I have a better idea of what I want when I talk to him.
Because I had the evening appt, I just walked outside in the morning instead of the gym so I didn't slack.
Yes I need to do better at work and not just meet my daily goal and relax. When I was younger I just loved to work all out. Maybe being heavy slowed me down?
This morning I'm driving down to see my Dad. Its a 3 1/2 hr drive and I'm looking forward to it. I've often had strained relations with my dad, a lot of it because of my addictions. The problems a drug addict would get into with his parents...hiding, lying, stealing...I did those things over eating out. And I'd hide with gaming. We've reconciled but it can be nervous sometimes. Maybe now things will be different since I've finally sobered up.
Gratitude:
1. I see my Dad today!
2. Road trip!
3. I lost another 1.2 lbs today. 304.6 yeah!
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Thanks, guys, for the support. Yeah, I'm new to the gym thing so I still need to figure things out but I'll get there. I am hoping to build a positive track record before I approach my wife about counseling. Maybe a couple more weeks to show how I've been doing with staying off the games and avoiding the soda. I have no idea if it will work. I really hurt her with my addictive ways and I killed the trust. I'm really not sure if we can get it back. All I can do is my part in changing my life and not do this to anymore people l, whether she or someone else down the line.
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Way to go, Moe. You've really fallen into a wonderful and productive life. It helps to have that supportive family around you
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I know what you mean by it being easier than expected. Cam said one time in a video that he was just "ready" to quit and it just clicked. I think that's how it is. Once you're truly ready to let it go, cravings or not, there's a lot less struggle.
As for not knowing what step 2 is, I agree. I think of it as floating on a river and not knowing what's around the bend. I feel excited about it though, to find out what kind of person I am.
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Yeah, what Cam warns about with the next generation, with ipads and VR is scary. You really have things, organized Jess and know what you're trying to achieve. That's awesome...
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It's a tough battle. For me, the junk food went hand in hand with the gaming. It was hard to picture gaming without a soda in my hand and gorging on chips and sweets. It was better for me to quit them in tandem. Just keep fighting!
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Yes I loved the last podcast...when it came to my soda and gaming addiction, I acted like a drug addict. The Power of Habit is on my future reading list.
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Sounds like you had a lot of positive things yesterday despite the frustration. Yes, we had a snack day yesterday and I had to resist the brownies and donuts! But I did have a few small meatballs and enjoyed those.
And I have a counselor appt today. We're on the same wavelength haha. Keep going!
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Sometimes you have nothing to say except being grateful.
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Day 24/90. A pretty good day yesterday. I did go to the gym and did my first strength training workout. And it was great! Cardio warmup and 3 sets on the machines. I wrote down all my machine settings so I'll know how to adjust next time and I have my initial weights. Some were perfect (chest press), some easy (leg press, lats) and some were challenging (triceps and shoulder dumbbells). But I really enjoyed it. I was there about an hour. There weren't a lot of people which is great for using equipment. It was nice being out and around folks though.
I learned I need to wear sweatpants next time for weights instead of shorts. The leg press machine makes your shorts revealing haha. And a longer tshirt. The shoulder dumbbells revealed too much belly. But I'm learning.
I ran into my wife and she called me 'slim'. Part of me liked it, part of me thinks she's still in that "just be friends" mode. But I can't dwell on it.
I realize I need to step up at work and make that job my own and not just do enough to meet my production goals and then coast. The job has the gym benefits, yes, but also school benefits that I'd like to take advantage of next year.
Gratitude:
1. I can work out at the gym and improve my self image.
2. I got a good night's sleep.
3. I have a job with good benefits to help me better myself.
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Thanks, Onlysoul and Orange. Yes, everyday my body is full of dents in all the right places haha. It's coming off slowly and steadily. I just have to stick with it.
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Good going, orange. Yes I don't think of gaming often but I always have to remind myself why I quit.
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You would be surprised how important a clean living environment and a simple breeze can be to your mood. They can really lift your depression and give you a sense of accomplishment. You did great, Corvus.
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Well detoxing doesn't mean your struggles are at an end. You'll still need to flesh out a new balance for yourself. It's good that you're not feeling temptation to relapse. I know what you mean about the me time. I like to keep some time in the morning and evening carved out for myself and I guard it jealously.
The First Steps into Deep Space
in Daily Journals
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Good job reaching out to coworkers....there is nothing better than finding someone who shares your interests in board games and D&D.