NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Some Yahoo
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Posts posted by Some Yahoo
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Withdrawals are easier to deal with if you fill your time with useful tasks. Do stuff that even barely needs doing. Once I actually backed the car out of the garage and swept it out. Yeah it needed doing. Yeah it was pretty filthy (I live in an area with a lot of dust in the air). Yeah nobody lives in the garage, and no one is going to thank me. But ti was something useful and I got it done.
Basically accept ANY challenge to get up off your chair and do anything. Mow, bring in groceries, run to the store, do laundry, read 1984. Read the voting crap that came in the mail so you're not voting ignorantly.
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Movies are still wasting your time. You're better off repainting a fence than watching a movie. Learning, cooking, fixing things, writing, even reading are better than passively absorbing entertainment.
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That's dopamine. You're addicted to gaming. You need to fill your time with something else - something productive.
- Not Youtube, Tiktok, instagram.
- Not porn
- Not Netflix, Hulu, or Disney+
Your mind has become acclimated to constant warm, fuzzy feelings and fake feelings of accomplishment. But it's all fake. Do something real in your life. It's going to feel boring, cringy, awkward, and stupid. You're not used to it. But you won't be squandering your time doing stuff that goes *poof* when you turn the game off.
I suggest these activities - the ones that helped me.
- Do the things you have promised people you would do.
- If you're in school, study. It's boring, but it adds to your ability to cope with adult life.
- Read up on what you're going through, look at addiction, dopamine, endorphins.
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Use services like SkillShare to learn new skills.
- I am learning to draw comics,
- bake,
- web design,
- and I may learn guitar.
You have (probably) been wasting enough time on games to learn a new language every year, or learn to code, or write a short novel. Doing literally ANYTHING with this time will not only make you hate yourself less, they will actually give you a sense of purpose and meaning.*
*Keep in mind that these are the things that give me a sense of meaning, you'll need to find your own things.
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Yeah I have found that it's hard to actually get people to play cooperatively. I call it Massively Single Player. Flashpoint groups are all about tricking the mission to run by everything, and they will LOSE THEIR MINDS if someone doesn't skip all the dialog. But for the most part if you need help from a guildie, it's always... Nah, I have time to link 300 costumes, but I have no time to help lowbies in their missions.
That said: After a couple weeks, when my work is piling up and my family is being ignored and lied to, I just get to this point where I feel like I am wasting my life doing something that no one will ever care about. If it made me happy that might be a reason, but it doesn't. It just makes me hate myself.
I re-watched this: https://youtu.be/arj7oStGLkU and there is a point (https://youtu.be/arj7oStGLkU?t=408) where he says "the fun you have in the Dark Playground isn't actually fun because it's completely unearned".
The guilt, dread, and anxiety that result from that are what I feel after wasting a day - or 3 weeks - on gaming. Even if it's a great game.
I only came in here today because for the first time after I uninstalled and cancelled my account, I felt like downloading it again. Thankfully the memory of how it made me feel - disgusted with myself - prevented me.
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buproprion didn't help me at all. My measure of success was "is it helping me get more work done. The answer was NO.
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OK, Day 1: Got a good amount of work done today with minimal effing around. I'm quite pleased with myself. 1 day. I'll take it.
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I'm not gonna lie. I just spent the last 3 weeks playing SWTOR.
The game is good, but I have played it all - even the newest expansions, and THERE IS NOTHING NEW FOR ME TO DO THERE.
Yet, I did it again.
So, as I have said many times, I am old. I'm 59. And what I have proven to myself over the last 3 weeks is this: I STILL HAVE THE FOCUS TO WORK AT SOMETHING FOR 10 HOURS A DAY.
So that's good, right?
I AM SO READY TO BE DONE WITH GAMING.
I know I'm going to face my work again tomorrow morning, and get that feeling in my brain that I absolutely MUST do literally anything else, but I need to press on. I need to think of billable hours as renown points, and payday as a conquest goal.
I have uninstalled, and I'm taking all the additional steps too.
- Uninstall the app
- Shift+Delete the installer from c:\downloads (Shift+Delete removes files without putting them in the recycle bin so you can get them right back).
- Delete the security key app from my phone.
- Cancelled my subscription
I know, guys: the lockdowns, business failures, and rank political climate are sending a lot of us spiraling.
Add to that the fact that those of us seeing counselors CANT GO SEE THEM. At least not in California.
The depression is taking hold, and I AM TAKING A STAND.
This is MY LIFE dammit, and I want it BACK!
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Yeah - I have been working from home since 2008.
I'm a little shocked that no one says anything when I put in these minimal weeks.
I *am* paid hourly, and I only bill for hours I work, but still - no one says anything.
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It's only a problem if you stop living your life to listen to it, or it makes you weak enough to start downloading games again.
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There are certain things that can positively affect your willpower.
- Get enough sleep - don't stay up late (said the guy posting at 11:40pm)
- Practice good nutrition
- Get out into the sun now and then.
After that, all I can suggest is to have alternate (non entertainment) activities to do. I bought a sketchbook and started drawing (like a 5 year old). I also got this book called How to write a Novel Using the Snowflake Method and I have been slowly writing two novels. It will take about 75 years at the rate I am going, but it's fun to finally be pushing these projects along.
Other activities I engage in are things like home repair - I have some baseboards to put up and if the temp ever goes below 105F out here, I'll repaint the trim on my house.
As far as waiting for a new game goes, well it's your life, but that game is just going to chew up all your free time and you'll end up right back here in 5 years telling us how hard it is to withdraw. Totally your choice, of course, and you'll always be welcome in here if you need help.
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55 minutes ago, creationlist said:
Thats the normal circle in live.
Mastering the ups and downs is one of the most difficult lessons to be learned.
Dont get to happy if it works out to be good and you do not get pulled down if something bad happens.
Also, is there a reason you get pulled down again? Is it something that could have been avoided?
Actually my daughter tells me I have all the symptoms of ADHD. My brain hears the word "work" and instantly wants to think of ANYTHING else. Literally anything else.
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I kind of like my little footer animation...
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Look at your gaming time as learning. Like dating a psycho girlfriend. Once you broke up, don't regret not dating her psycho sisters, just move on and consider what you have learned about yourself.
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On 8/29/2020 at 1:34 PM, BooksandTrees said:
This helped me a lot. It was the first thing I quit. I'm about 98 weeks free from it.
Also, why don't you just make one journal? You have like 12 posts on separate threads. It might be easier to develop a diary and track progress. Just my suggestion.
I never thought of using the board like that. I just come on and post whatever, whenever I think of something to say. I would update a thread if I had an update about that topic, usually, but I consider a new topic, well, new.
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This is what my attention span looks like. This is why I fail.
Even though I went to school in the 1970's, and ADHD wasn't even a thing, my adult daughter thinks I may be afflicted with it.
It wouldn't be bad if it happened now and then, but this seems to be EVERY FRIGGIN DAY since 2008.
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I watched some gameplay videos of HomeWorld. I still enjoy decent 3D animation, and this game is a good one. I also watched a series on Netflix about the early days of video games. I worked for Atari back in the day - it was fun to see some of the old stuff I used to work on.
BUT: none of that in any way tempted me to download a game. Granted, I could have been doing something more constructive with my time, but I'm still calling this a win. As a final twist, my job forced me to work this week in Paradox. Yes, Paradox. It's a relic, but I am one of the few who programmers left with ANY CLUE how it works, and some companies - unaware that some upcoming Windows Update is going to leave them high and dry - hang onto it because it still (mostly) works. I swear, every phone call I recommend they do an upgrade, but no - they want to wait until they can't process orders anymore until they authorize a budget.
Therefore it feels like I have been transported back to 1980 this week.
I spent some time sketching and drawing. I think I am up to about a 5th grade level of competence, but I find it easier to do if I draw a little bit every day. It's also easier because I use Skillshare to do classes about drawing so my skills don't plateau, and I spend the rest of my life drawing at the same level.
Also, I think I am going to press the eject button on social media. It seems to be a place where everyone is screaming and no one is listening. Too toxic for a depressed person like me.
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I was wanting a game today. I was hopeless and tired and depressed. Then I thought of how much a nice, immersive MMO would make it a thousand times worse.
No, I never even made it to a download page, and thankfully the thought of 3 hours of downloading was a barrier. So I thought I would pop in here and let you guys know.
IT CAN BE DONE. It's not easy, and I still feel depressed, but I am NOT GAMING.
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Found this article and I identified with a lot of it. Give it a look.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-9-types-of-hopelessness-and-how-to-overcome-them/
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It's OK, we walk before we run. You're on the right path. Welcome to a larger, brighter world!
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A few days ago, I spent a fun morning with my wife and daughter playing this:
https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/253618/5-minute-marvel
I am also a fan of these:
https://www.looneylabs.com/games/fluxx
https://www.looneylabs.com/games/doctor-who-fluxx
https://www.looneylabs.com/games/star-fluxx
AFAIK Magic the gathering is a card game, it's like that, unless somehow you're playing online it shouldn't be a problem.
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On 8/12/2020 at 7:38 PM, CoolMan29 said:
I just hope I change soon. I hate this lifestyle it's awful...
This reminds me of the often-quoted prayer "God give me patience. And give it to me NOW!"
You are not a computer program. And changing lifestyle is something you have total control over. It starts by choosing to do things that make you uncomfortable, yet move you in the right direction a little bit every day.
Think of it like walking from San Francisco to Los Angeles. With the first step you have left San Francisco. You may be 1 step away, but you've left. That's what changing lifestyles is like. No one goes from basement-dwelling gamer to beloved actor overnight (except Felicia Day). Don't mark your progress by your "arrival" someplace you want to be. Mark it with "progress toward" where you want to be.
When you go to bed at night ask yourself. Did I talk to people today? Did I fill my time with productive activities? Did I still have fun? Some days the answer will be no. More often you will have taken some little step. Or two. Or twenty.
Just learn to measure the steps not just the destination.
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I am still struggling heavily with focus. It's going to take time, I know. Another day of my mind trying to escape from its tasks like a rat from a trap. Hulu, YouTube, email, even GameQuitters.
I was always super demoralized when a friend or loved one told me "just stop gaming. It's your mind, it's your decision." I knew it was a deeper problem than that, and that the people I cared about didn't understand. But even now, as I struggle to reclaim my own life, I realize that it's much deeper than I even realized.
It's saddening to think that my own mind struggles to avoid doing what I myself have tasked it with. I would think my own mind might at least make some attempt to stay on task. But it's like there's some spaz in my head grabbing the joystick and jerking it in any direction just to prevent it from accomplishing the tasks that are best for me. Like my life is ruled over by a toddler.
Listen.
You're going to struggle. You're going to fail. Ultimately you can win, but it's gonna take work. It'd be nice if our support networks had any clue what we're going through, but some of us are going to have to get through it with our own internal resources. If you have friends or family who support you, then that's an amazing advantage. Thank God for that, not everyone gets it. Even if they can't really understand, they at least support you.
It's not easy, it's not trivial. You - we - are freaking heroes fighting for our own lives. It's not the Avengers, but it is heroic nonetheless.
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like any skill, social skills must be learned the hard way. Get in there. Make mistakes. Try to make a note of what you did that freaked someone out and figure out how not to do that next time.
In video game general chat, we are all anonymous, so people tend to blurt out whatever is on their minds. But in real life, everything you say has consequences. So hang back a bit, watch what other people are doing, listen to what they are saying before you join in.
Some other handy facts:
- No one is thinking about what a dork you are.
- Most everyone is thinking about themselves, and wondering what everyone else is thinking about them.
- People do not care if you embarrass yourself. They care of you embarrass them.
Two things I did that helped a little.
- Ask someone for something. Ask the checker at 7:11 what time it is, or if they have jujubees. Just talk to someone you don't know.
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Try to learn someone's name every day. Say, "Hey, I've seen you around but I don't know you. What's your name?"
- Then LISTEN. It's amazingly good to listen to people. Let them talk. Associate their name with their face and whatever they are going through at the moment.
- When they tell you their name, look at their face and make a game out of their name. Like my name is Bryan Valencia. Look at my face and think BeeVee, or BryVal.
There is a great book my Dad read back in the day that he swears by. It's called How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Try that. I have not read it, but my Dad says it's amazing, and he spent a lot of years with a good circle of friends. In fact I just bought it on Kindle. Maybe it'll help me too.
I hope any of this helps.
New professions
in General Discussion
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First look for jobs you like to do. Look beyond the "I need money" aspect and imagine doing a thing for 8 hours a day - every day. It won't matter what's most in demand if you hate it. I'm sure that sewage treatment workers are in high demand, but for me, I don't care if you get a million a month and a private jet.