Zala

Hey guys. I' m very confused. My brain feels fuzzy and blurry. I could once again really use some help or at least a new perspective. I've installed Pokemon go last Sunday. I just have some sort of a bad feeling about it. If I try to organize my thoughts. 1 Positive: it got me to go outside more. I don't even need a friend, the weather doesn't have to be perfect. I sprained my ankle on a Friday and I can't run. So I've walked about 20 km in the last two days. Exercise is good. Fresh air and some sunshine is good. There is also one more thing: I am always afraid of what random people are thinking of me. I sometimes desperately try not to seem weird or out of place. This game can put you in an awkward position but I'm on some sort of a mission. I will catch this pokemon, even if that means being laughed/stared/gawked at. And that actually hasn't happened yet. I think I can learn in time, that I'm not really that different and that people don't really care what I do at least most of the time. And if they do comment in some way, I won't break down or turn into a puddle of sweat and despair. 2 Neutral: I haven't become more social. I am an introvert and I feel good about it. Also I am a bit embarrassed about playing, I think I am 10-15 years older than an average player. At least at the pokestops I visit. Plus there is so much negative propaganda, people walking into the lakes, on the road, crashing their cars etc. It somehow feels wrong. Reading a book by the pokestop on the other hand does not feel wrong. I go for more of the grinding kind of approach (hatching eggs, catching random pokemons on my fixed route, I never just run around to find a pokemon that is supposedly close by), I don't play during social gatherings or at work and I don't feel the need to do so. I plan on staying away from the battle arenas. I don't find them that interesting. I just want to collect all of the pokemon. By myself. In time. 3 Negative: as I have said, I feel kind of in a daze, fuzzy, blurry, definitely not in here&now. Today I went for a walk and took extra battery for my phone. Then I tried to figure out how can I plug it in and keep it close at hand at the same time. And I felt silly. I find going to the store or taking an extra book to work so sooo hard sometimes. Yet this last couple of days I've been rearranging my schedule, getting up earlier, postponing meeting people, doing my housework in time ... Just to have more time for this game. Basically I'm awfully angry!! Why can't I get motivated by something that could actually become my daily job? Or that would at least benefit me if not bring in money? Why can't I spend this much time, energy and focus on productive things that matter to other people? Why do I never feel so alive and good about myself even when I do something right/good/perfect at work?

Totally into packing. Had a bit of a crisis today ... I hope it gets better. Cam you should definitely come! It would fit perfectly into your youtube contributions: great message and we could provide another beautiful scenery . We have so many lovely places, from seashore to different lakes, forest, mountains ...

I'm back. Soooo ... we are definitely moving. We had a bit of a difficulty finding the apartment in the beginning. The first apartment we saw 30 other people came to see it. I was a bit in a shock. But then the second one 60 people came in the first 20 minutes, we left after 20 minutes but I could see that there were more people coming as we were driving away. You get this forms and you are supposed to show the agency that you love the apartment and that you are a perfect person for it. Of course only one person (couple/family) can get it. And we also found out that my bf can't get work permit without a contract for the apartment. No hotels, part-time stays no nothing. Not even for the first month or so. You either find a place or you can't work there. The situation is quite different in Slovenia. I would say that there are more people looking for tenants then there are people looking for apartments. I'm not sure about our visa/work situation. Anyway after a few panicky days of looking at apartments and counting our odds, we upped the budget for the rent and went a bit more toward rural areas. There was a bit of luck involved, but we got the place in time. We have loads of paperwork, insurance stuff etc to deal with, but at least my bf will be able to work there. I left my laptop at home last week. Which was a perfect idea since even in the stressful times I couldn't go back to gaming. I did some browsing on my phone and kept saying to myself over and over "Do not install any gaming apps ... just don't!". I also kept in mind that I have to be supportive, helpful and that I simply can't close myself into another world and leave my bf to deal with all of this. Now I'm back, with a bit of extra time. And you know what I used to do to celebrate right? Nothing beats running through the pixelated world. I even cleaned the table, dimmed the window, prepared my gaming mouse and still somehow didn't figure out that I'm following a certain routine. I decided to post this instead. I planned the whole day for tomorrow. Work, meeting1, shower, meeting 2, my bf. Just in case.

I might take you up on that WorkInProgress (love the name btw) thank you! I'm afraid we wouldn't have much to talk about at the moment. I learned some German in high school, but I'm afraid it's all gone. And my teacher was awful, 4 years of torture, made me hate the language. Things will probably get better once I have those memories replaced with new experiences and information. I have some sort of beginners audio program at home, I will finish with that and then I will probably have some idea of where I'm at. I'm a bit of a worrier by nature. I can almost hear my friends going "No s*** Sherlock!" But in this situation there are so many things to worry about that my brain just shuts down from time to time. I go on an infinite loop of apartment, language, money, people, anxiety, apartment, job ... and then something just clicks and I have to go "F* it ... We will see how it goes". The adventure part will begin once we find the apartment, I hope. I feel stupid telling people about where exactly I'm going, since I don't really know yet. It just feels weird talking about it at this moment, not sure why. I'm afraid without an apartment even going to work will be impossible. We are going on a hunt next week. I hope it goes well. I will definitely post when I come back if not sooner. Oh and Mad Pharmacist: currently I'm at 7-10k at a time. Once again I'm following this 0-10k app. I'm trying to focus on time and not distance, but I keep record of both. Are you a runner? I've read some of your posts but it seems I have to reread it. And as far as conversation goes ... once again I just might accept this kind offer .

Still going. I'm writing down my screen time for the week. Doesn't look too awful at the moment. Probably because it's sunny and I have a part time job at the moment. I try to go for a run at least 2, 3 times per week. I went for a run on a Sunday and I think I overdid it because my leg hurt. Even walking was painful so I'm back to swimming for a couple of days. I'm reading Campbell's plan by Thomas Campbell. It is an interesting book. Different from all protein&fat obsession that most of people get curious about. Well at least where I live. My bf and I are moving to another country in two months. I'm still trying to get a hang of it. Official language is German and I can barely grasp all the changes that are right around the corner. But language will be a bigger issue from the start since I don't speak German and I can barely understand more than a couple of words. The first priority at the moment is finding an apartment. I try not to worry beyond that. Now I have extra motivation for getting my gaming under control. New environment, new people, new language, no friends&no family, no job it's a perfect set up for a major failure. Everything is possible, new start and all that ... But on the other hand a stressful event that can put me back into my old bad habits.

Thank you Cam, I really appreciate it! #hycniejsy I'm not saying it's not a good idea to have a computer. For example my bf uses it for work most of the time. Most of my friends use it for an hour or so and get bored quickly. I'm just saying it might not be the best thing for me at the moment. I'm too afraid to even try it out for a week or so. Of course at work I will have to use it, but with coworkers I manage to keep things under control. At work the biggest transgression I make is checking the news for 5 minutes or so. But at home there is a whole other story. Can't even imagine a week without a computer. Agh. I'm afraid everything might come back extra strong with gaming cravings and all. The no gaming part is still going great. I try to keep it simple: work, exercise, socializing, housework, reading. Videos/movies are still taking up too much of my time . I try to spend more time outside and read for at least two hours every day. I would love to take on a new bigger project, but I don't even know where to start. I am thinking of keeping a diary of daily activities, just to get an idea of how much time I'm spending on, let's call them, "undesirable activities". - Such as mindlessly browsing through random web pages, looking at cute dog pictures, watching videos and series that I can't even remember a few hours later. I swear I've seen this horror movie the other day and only in the last 15 minutes I realized that I have seen it before. And that I didn't like it the first time! Of course this has happened to me before. It might help me get the bigger picture. My friend was trying to lose some weight and she kept a diary of what she ate in a week. She said that for the first time, she saw that she really had a problem. And was also able to figure out what her weak spots and triggers were.

Hello, it’s me again. My new resolution (right after going for another 90 days) is to post at least 3 times a week. Even if it is just a sentence or two. Language&grammar are still an issue, I am sorry, I am working on it . I don't want to jinx it but here it goes: 14 days since I played any kind of computer/mobile game. I had an interesting conversation the other day. My boyfriend’s mom is old school type of gal and she asked us if we own a computer. Yes, of course, we said. You can’t be without a computer nowadays. We actually have two laptops. And then she asked us, why do we need to have a computer. And I tried to explain that I use it for communication with friends, work related stuff, watching videos, listening to music, looking at old photographs, checking news, playing games … As I kept going, I felt more and more stupid. Do I really need a computer? I sit in front of it most of the day and this is all I do? My fear grew as my bf’s mom said: ‘So … basically you use it for work and waste of time. I like to go for a walk instead.” And that got me thinking. I could probably do most of the work and communication things when I am actually at work. I used to think that my boss and co-workers expect me to check my email even when I am not at work. But when I think of it, if there is an emergency, they can always call me and they usually do, if I don't respond right away. If it is not an emergency, it can wait for a couple of days. I usually have a couple of minutes to spare to check the daily news when I'm at work. And once again if there really is something important going on, someone will be happy to tell me, or I will hear about it on my way to work. And lastly, I have seen enough movies and series to last me a lifetime. So maybe, just maybe I don’t really NEED a computer. That sound liberating and scary at the same time.

Can't even get a good start this time around. Deleted progress in game. Stopped playing for a couple of days. But now I'm back at it. Because now I know how to do it better and faster. To what goal? To more changing numbers? I could use a calculator for that. I just don't know. And of course now I feel guilty and bad and you know how it goes. Guess what comforts me. I watched your new video Cam and I just felt completely lost afterwards. I don't want to struggle and continue this cycle for the rest of my life. And there will always be new, better games. Better equipped to get me hooked up again. I will probably think that I'm ok at some point, but it will never end, not until I die and that is just the most awful thing ever. I will read some more of other people's journals in a couple of hours. Maybe I find ... something, I don't even know what. Take care guys, hope you are doing great.

#DuckyMcDuck "Thing about addiction is, if you try to quit (or go for moderation), it's not a decision you make once. It's a decision you'll make every day. " That is exactly what I am afraid of. That even after a year or two years I won't be out of the woods. Because I know bad days will come. I can plan my actions in advance, but usually, when I have a really bad day, I can't take my past self seriously. I am planning on making another 90 day commitment at least. I'm counting this as a bad and long slip-up, because I really don't want to play. I don't want to and I don't have to. #kortheo You are probably right. Here is what I'm thinking: there is a great number of people that live in worse conditions, have bigger problems, more issues ... And they are not depressed, or are just happier. But in the back of my mind, I think, I still believe, that my depression (if it is that) is connected to my current situation. There are a lot of things that could be better and can be better. I was thinking of getting professional help. At least a few therapeutic sessions, no drugs. But the problem is, that I don't have a steady job at this moment. And if I admit to my doctor that I have a mental health issue, it will be put on record. Which means that I will have to drag this with me on every mandatory health check-up by my current or future employer. I really don't need another thing to jeopardize my future. #Cam Would you mind explaining that? I know that you get some sort of "jackpot" things from time to time (greater number of cookies). It's just numbers changing. So silly. And still, I had to "catch" a few of the floating cookies while I was writing this post. We don't want to waste the cookies, do we?

Hey Cam, I will do it. I promise. But it seems I spoke too soon. I got obsessed with the most stupid thing ... ever. I can't believe it. It seems in the last couple of months, I started a new circle of bad habits all over again. It started slowly, half hour, one hour and of course now I'm up to god knows how many hours per week and on top of that full avoidance of family, friends, obligations, housework ... Cookie clicker. I freakin can't believe it. I know right? Not the super-technological, problem-solving, or at least social game(s). Nooooo. I found the most repetitive thing ever. I have a part time job at the moment, so that is basically the only thing that is keeping me away from clicking. But my contract ends at the end of May and I am terrified.

Hi all! Long time no see . Cam's new video caught me by surprise, since I was considering the weekend gaming I finished 90 day detox. It's been about 140 days since my last game now. Nothing miraculous happened after 90 days or after 100 ... For me it was hard from the beginning and still is. I wouldn't say I think of gaming all the time. But I just changed gaming into sleeping more, browsing the net, watching movies, videos ... I try to look at 140 days as an achievement, but I don't think games make less sense than any other loss of time. Having coffee with friends, meditation, sports, reading might be socially more acceptable. But I tried and tried to stick to these kind of activities and I simply lack the passion. My brain seems to keeps turning into mush. Even leisure activities feel like work if I try to do them on regular basis. I haven't laughed (except at times with my bf) for weeks now. I am thinking of trying moderation this time around. Or maybe I just wish someone would say to me: don't go there! You can't get rid of one problem (watching too many videos) by returning to an old problem (gaming). I dunno, I'm installing my old&favorite game as I am writing this.

I hope I'm not annoying you guys too much. But there is another topic that keeps popping up lately. It's a dog story. I will try to keep it short. I've always wanted a dog. Never had one, parents didn't agree, you know the story. Two years ago when my boyfriend and I finally came to this apartment, owned by my parents, we both had a job and some savings, I figured this is the right time. I did everything right. Did research, read all sorts of books, watched videos, went do dog shows. Spoke to a couple of breeders. I even got into volunteering in a shelter, where I finished clicker training class, met loads of people that owned dogs, had fun with lots of shelter dogs of all size and ages. My boyfriend wasn't too excited at first. But I think he understood that this was very important to me at first and got more interested later. After a year of serious preparations I finally found the right breed and breeders. Went to visit them a couple of times. Went through litter plans, waiting for ultrasound, counting puppies, expectations grew. In the meantime I tried to get every equipment I thought I could use. Did research on save environment, best food, save toys. Bought a bunch of stuff. I even made arrangements with my boss to work in the evenings for a year (my bf works till 4pm), so that the dog wouldn't be home alone for too long at first. Finally the puppies came. We visited the breeders regularly. And finally the day came when we could take our puppy home. And then the nightmare started. I got totally depressed. Cried more than ever. More in the first week than all other years in my life put together. Like at least 2-3 hours straight every day. Almost everyday I invited at least one person over for a visit. I was totally afraid of being alone. I basically couldn't handle the responsibility. I felt nothing for the cute little puppy. Other people, including my bf, adored him. I was just afraid for him all the time. I couldn't eat, had trouble sleeping. I was ok when we were all at home. But being alone with the puppy was too much. I remember watching loads of videos, playing games and even those couldn't even began cheering me up. I remember playing with a puppy and I felt nothing. I did everything that I was supposed to, as far as maintenance and socialization goes, because I knew he needed it. At the same time I was totally sure that, in some way or another, I will kill this puppy. Either he will pick something up outside and choke, his collar will brake and a car will run over him, he will fall from a couch or stairs, a random dog hating person will kick him, an un-socialized dog will hurt him ... I remember he was lying on the floor in the apartment. Sleeping. And thoughts were running through my head like "is he sleeping too much, did I take him outside for too long, did he catch a cold, am I feeding him enough" ... All the time!! Completely irrational. After 2,5 weeks I contacted the breeder and told her, what was going on. We decided, that I should bring the puppy back. He is in a great home now, his new owner and I are fb friends and everyone is doing great. No trauma whatsoever on the puppies part. My boyfriend couldn't understand what I was going through and didn't know how to help me. I love all dogs but I couldn't love our puppy. He got really attached to him and was awfully sad after we took him back to a breeder. I am still trying to figure out how much wear and tear this has done to our relationship. I know it made us seriously doubt the option of having a child, ever. I know I was overly preparing and overly complicating things. I needed to do everything right and of course that is impossible. I still feel like I need to try again. I feel like a total failure for not being able to handle the responsibility of taking care of a puppy. And I feel like I won't be able to think of myself as a good person, until I try again and succeed. Does that make sense?

#Tom Odlično that is

Halfway to 90 days developing ninja skills

I had a strange encounter last Friday. I looked through random youtube videos, realized I might not have the best idea of how to ride a bike on a roundabout. From there I went to a page for children, you know one of those "how to" pages for young cyclists, later to the page that gives instructions to those that are learning how to drive a car and then I found a page that simulates driving and parking a car. An awful awful game. Not responsive, didn't make sense, bad graphics, kept freezing for no particular reason. I played for about 15 minutes and I believe my heartbeat went through the roof, I felt pure pleasure and also like this game was challenging me. I finished the game and there were these bright colored pop ups, congratulating me and telling me I'm the best. I couldn't help it, I just started laughing. I kept thinking to myself, no one would get that hooked on one silly game. I could almost see my friends going "Ugh, why are you playing this, it's awful". I didn't care. I had to finish it! I had to figure out how to get around all those stupid mistakes that made the game completely unrealistic. Had to. And in the same way right after that I had to go outside, just to get out of this "zone". And I did. And everything went back to normal in an hour or two. So I'm obviously not out of the woods yet. It has been 44 days since I played a computer or a phone game, not counting this encounter last Friday. But I guess I will have to kick myself away from games for the rest of my life. I'm still watching too many videos. Survivor is my new thing. I might wanna consider joining movie quitters type of thing. Cam do you have time for another forum and community ?

Hello, 10 days since my last post. Went by fast. Not much has happened. I haven't played computer games or any sort of games apps. I've seen loads of terrible horror films, stupid tv shows, reality shows and dreary movies. I would love to give some encouraging words to other forum members. But right now I think I should stick to what I've been doing - reading other journal entries and occasionally using the like option. I hope I will be more helpful in the future. I'm going to give this "limited screen time" another go. I hope I will not become an alcoholic or a drug addict this time around. I wouldn't mind becoming a bookworm, might even be a good thing considering my past job. I feel this obsession with moving pixels already damaged the most important relationship I have. Sometimes I wonder why he doesn't leave me. Other times I blame him for not giving me the support that I need. No one deserves to get this much of crying, guilt, anger and unhappiness crammed into the box labeled "girlfriend". I swear everything jumps out as soon as he comes home. In a way I can't help it, but at times I realize that I need to try harder. I hope he will stay with me long enough for me to give at least some of his help and patience back.

#Wookieshark88 I really do have some sort of crisis. I talked to my brother today. He is also a heavy gamer, I think he plays more than I ever did. He asked me what I do all day and when he heard I still watch a lot of movies, he said that I should return to gaming. That there is more sense, that at least it's more active ... I dunno. In my twisted mind it all kind of made sense . I will not reinstall games. I won't do it. Nothing good can come out of it. At least not today.

I haven't. I just started reading Now. I don't like it so far . I will try to stick to it. I rarely leave a book halfway. I was rewatching some of your videos Cam and I was thinking of making an old school daily schedule for myself. Include stuff I used to do, but now just seem pointless. Like drawing, painting, sculpturing, learning how to cook . Changing activities every hour or so. Just to create some sort of educational scenario. At least from 9am to 5 pm. Problem is if, like yesterday, I get a call from a friend that I haven't seen for a long time. And I go and grab a cup of coffee with them. Puff and three hours have passed. Women and conversations you know . It seems like when I make a schedule for myself, someone always calls. And I have to make changes on the first or second day. I should probably stick to it for at least a week and then meet with other people during "my" hours. I can only hope that my friends will understand. I do get excited even when I'm thinking of planning my day. I need to learn how to be productive when I'm alone. Because there will always be a time when I'm alone. Or it might all be just an excuse that lets me stay in my comfy little world. Because I know I could go to a library every day. And I simply wouldn't be able to watch one video after another. Like today three 90+ minute movies and counting. I just don't feel like going out of my apartment at this point.

Hey guys, less optimistic this time around . I still haven't had a gaming relapse. But I definitely spend too much time staring at my laptop screen since last Friday. Haven't done anything else on Friday, yesterday and today. On weekend I had some family business and basically had no time for myself. Last week I had a strange talk with a friend, who should also limit her screen time. And she knows it. Or at least knows it most of the time but she hasn't come around to doing anything about it yet. She keeps saying: If watching episode after episode and then show after show makes you happy or at least content, how is it different from any other hobby? How is it different from running every day, reading, making models a few hours a day, or going out having endless conversations with random people or your friends&family? I said to her that those activities are socially acceptable or have greater value. That they promote a set of skills that can help you live a better life or help you help another person. Lying around just passively watching pixels changing and following lives of imaginary characters, does nothing for your personal growth, leaves your brain foggy and takes time away from people that would like to spend it with you. I haven't persuaded her. I failed to even persuade myself. My life without games is as empty as it was before I stopped gaming. I do other stuff to fill in the time, I enjoy some of the things I do, but in the great scheme of things, nothing has changed. I try to set goals but then they just seem pointless. I was thinking of learning another language, but when would I use it? Planned on running a 10k run in a town nearby, but what would I do with a result? Besides bragging rights and lost time, what do I expect to gain from these activities? I am hoping that I would feel good about myself after I achieve my goal. Or at least feel proud in that final moment. But would I? Would I really? Achievements&goals that I have reached so far, haven't done much for my confidence and well-being. I remember only the work that I had to put in, stress, worry and then the "great finale". The only thing great about it, was, that I was able to return to my normal life, that the pressure&stress were gone. The only things that make me stop overthinking are exercising, reading and writing. But I doubt I can do any of them in order to survive. I am sure that I do none of them well enough to survive. And I doubt I'm young enough to change that. - I mean well enough to pay the bills and put the food on the table. So I try not to do them too much, in excess. I'm affraid that they will become just another self-served obsession. Obsession that makes time fly by and keeps me dependent on my boyfriend's or family's money. Any input would be great.

Hello! It's my sixteenth day without games, sixth day with limited screen time. I've noticed it's harder for me to stick with my meal plans, probably because I'm still building my willpower muscles. Otherwise things are great! My bf ran a half a marathon this weekend and he did it under 1.35, which made him&I very happy . I'm not much of a runner, but I think I need to start running again. It would be so great if we could run at least some of the miles together. I did some reading as well, some volunteer work, nothing major. I still enjoy swimming twice a week. We have two coaches and they manage to bust my ass (is that the right term ) every time! I love it! At the moment I'm following program given by my 10k Runner app. Today was week 2, day 2. Did about 2 miles running&walking today. I decided to try to expand my running time and not worry about the distance yet. Nothing new on the job front. I will get unemployment compensation till 15.1.2016, which will cover most of my bills. After that, if I don't find a job sooner, I will have to start eating away at my savings. We will see ... I was also thinking of putting my roller-blades on after a year. I used to love them. I just somehow let the fear beat me even here. I got afraid of speed, traffic, running somebody over ... It was a great exercise but somehow I started to waaay overthink everything and got afraid as soon as I put them on. Well there is one challenge. I need more

Seen some of Sims 4 videos on youtube. Felt the itch to play. Read your diaries. In a few hours I will start to limit my display time. I feel fear in my bones. I hope I can do this. I know I have to at least try. Did nothing all day. Again. Just stared passively at the screen. Again. Hope everyone is ok.

#Cam Calm.com is great!! Thank you so much! I did my first mini meditation. It really calmed me down. I haven't even realized how stressed out I felt before the meditation. I will definitely make this a habit. Thank you Cam. #Tom I think I get it. it's just that I can at least imagine putting down some goals. For example family, friends, relationships, health, activity, learning, volunteer work, reading, meditation ... I have no idea how to even built a plan on making money or having a job or a career . I might just put this stuff on hold for a week, since there seem to be a lot of changes in my life at the moment. I have the information. I mean I have the resume, I know how to dress and what to say during interview, I have a bunch of ideas on how to look for a job. I'm checking a bunch of sites, but there doesn't seem to be any adds in my country for a person of my profile and my type of experience. And since in most of the companies they have a policy not to employ people with certain education for lower levels of work, that really limits me. I had a wish for the longest time to work from home, but at this point I'm not even sure, if that wish wasn't a product of my gaming addiction. You know .. just wishing I could spent more time at home and play games instead of actually working. And on the other hand I'm not even sure if I'm capable of doing anything that would eventually lead to regular pay . I'm sorry, I hope I wasn't too long, thank you for reading! I feel grateful for two wonderfully sunny and warm days. Weather seems to have a big affect on how I feel.

Thank you for the offer but I've checked the app and it seems my phone is too old . I'll hold you to that in case I upgrade my phone. It looks sweet though.

Another day, another challenge . I think I have to decide to quit watching videos (short clips, movies, series ...) altogether. I think I knew that this needs to happen for quite some time now. I think I can allow myself: - 30 minutes per day for emails, weather, news, browsing, forums. - 30 minutes of Youtube videos while I'm eating my lunch, since eating alone can be incredibly boring. - That sounds reasonable. Writing using Word doesn't count. But everything else: general browsing, funny pics, funny clips, searching for random information I suddenly need to know, awesome movies, playthroughs, obsessive research of random stuff, reading through different forums ... Everything has to go! Luckily my boyfriend doesn't like to watch tv or movies in general. I can usually persuade him to watch one movie and one series per week, if I nag him long enough. I think 20.10 would be a great day to start this. Till then I will track my screen time, I still have no idea how much time I actually spent in front of a screen. Do you?

#Tom Thank you, I'm not familiar with this page. But I'm sure it will come in handy. #Wookieshark88 I guess you are right. But I think I let things get way out of hand by indulging myself so far. #Cam Thank you. I guess writing down some goals would probably be a great thing to do atm. I've done it in the past, but when things were not going in the right direction, I got super sad. Not having a job is awful. Having written a goal to have a job and then not getting a particular type of job, or having no idea, what you would want to do in your life, is even more depressing. Has anyone practiced writing down their goals? How specific do they have to be? How many steps or points in time do you have? I see a lot of game quitters practice meditation/introspection. I'm kind of afraid to try it out. My friend used to do it on a regular basis. And the timing was just silly. For example we were just chatting or playing a board game with a bunch of people and she was like, ok, now I need to go sit in a room, alone and meditate. I thought to myself, why won't you go for a walk, or go take a nap. It seemed pretentious. You can't just leave us to go sit in a chair and ignore others . Of course if you are fiddling with your phone, that is perfectly normal . You can have some alone time, just don't look so high and mighty while you do it. And what if I only get cought in a flow of thought? I read somewhere that the best medicine for laziness is not to do anything. When you have stuff to do, don't do anything else. Don't turn on your tv, computer, leave you phone, don't go randomly looking for things to do around the house ... Just sit down, relax and wait for your strength. I tried this loads of time. All I got was a buzzing feeling in my head, endless flow of thought. Perhaps I should time my first time of meditation. Just to get rid of fear of falling to far into my thoughts. Oh and I'm reading The Power of Habit. Very interesting.