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destoroyah

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Posts posted by destoroyah

  1. This is about her brother, you are generalizing the situation. It is the love within family.

    If you feel that I'm making this thread be about me, take a look in the mirror. You are the one talking about some girlfriend moaning about her life (completely offtopic). You are talking about your grandpa (completely offtopic). The stories you tell aren't even remotely connected to the subject. How will this help her (you even got the gender wrong, dude!) in confronting her brother?

    The outspokenness I meant, was the outspokenness among siblings. Not with you. That is why I will hold my opinion of you to myself for now, as it has absolutely nothing to do with the thread. If I want to convey you a message expressing my personal opinion, I would send you one instead embarassing you publicly.

    I called her "kid" because she seems to be in a dire situation in the need of stability. Unknowing how to handle it. The role of a kid can be very comforting, as it is free of responsibilities and guilt. Furthermore she's presumably a decade younger than me.

    I was actually, more or less, at least trying to give her answers to the problems imposed and present stability.

    As for my sarcasm - I used it in a single post to emotionally detach her from the importance of some stupid day in the calendar, as it seemed to me, that her taking it too seriously could be a problem.

     

    Also writing "just my opinion" everywhere, doesn't solve anything. It's not a free ticket for misconduct... You are detaching yourself from the words you write (presumably because you know they lack quality).

     

    Sheesh! The thread is now completely raped. I will now go play some videogames.

  2. I would always respect my brother.

    I would always value my brother.

    And if he has an opinion which I disagree with, I would tell him that I disagree with it. I would not assume some thought in his mind and scheme, I am outspoken in everything with my siblings. Yes there are fights, but we always forgive one another. My siblings may always fall in my back - I would forgive them until I die. That might be a flaw.

    Blood is the strongest bond.

  3. Actually I really liked Paulo Coelho. Maybe I was in a situation that made me blind to its tackiness. Back then it helped me in accepting my own heart, because I had been overriding it frequently. I had locked up too many emotions. Also - in accepting tackiness and ignoring public opinion can you start embracing yourself. Don't try to be "cool", or adhere public views, when on the journey to yourself.

    Yes you should take your brothers word seriously - at least to the degree that he gets the respect that any human being deserves. Sure, you can prove him wrong and an idiot, but try to listen and not just "nod him off". That would be very poisonous for any relationship

    In spotting weakness in others and being presumptuous can you conjure great strength instantly. This is very useful in some situations - but mind, it will turn you into a very lonely and hated person if you use this "cheat" longterm. True strength is not found in pursuing the light (running after public opinions), or embracing the darkness (spotting weakness in others), it is found by becoming the light yourself. How do you do that? If I knew the answer, I probably wouldn't be sitting here, but I'm sure reading some books can help.

    Nourishing. By that I mean a lot. Giving attention. Giving praise. Giving time. Giving materialistic things. These are all good deeds, when you give them away - but it is very important to not give away more than you can.

    Hm. As for cost/effectiveness calculations, I am not so sure. But any process in nature is very aware that resources are scarce, there is no room for uselessness. I am currently on the quest for fulfilling this natural order of things, by reading some Marcus Aurelius. I want to be a good leader someday, and leaders are constantly faced with difficult decisions where cost/effectiveness plays a very important role. The right decision is not always the happiest one.

    Also mind, there's like three words: efficacy, effectiveness and efficiency. Whoa...

  4. KIDS!!

    Yes, life is futile. But... you see... Uh... well... the last time I explained that shit got really wild, so... how about you read some book on that? My wisdom is inadequate to explain. Marcus Aurelius, Zhuangzhi and Lao Tse have proven good authors for me. Paul Coelho's "The alchemist" is also good. 

    You are not the one who has to take everything seriously. That is a self-imposed dogma. Don't do that. Go wear a pajama for a couple of days in a row and relax.

    7 minutes ago, Frigga Stiglitz said:

    Life was hell for me because i cared without receiving anything in return.

    Yes. The golden rule. What a beautiful lie. Fix yourself. Care for yourself - and then, when you have amounted riches (not only materialistic values here...) you can nourish the people around you. Many people fail at step one, because they start with the nourishing.

    Yea I quoted you. I don't know. Maybe it is related to frequency, or I am sick in the brain. I am known to be a touchy person - I think. I don't care though, the flaw is not fundamental enough to engage fixing. I would just leave the forums for some ten days and come back when shit has cooled off.

  5. Eh, I hate it when people dissect my post. It's so exhausting and feels offensive.

     

    Try taking your brother's standpoint on birthdays seriously. Maybe you're right - he might be doing it for just the attention or "edginess", but assuming anything like that is presumptuous. Try taking it as he states, treat him like his word has value (even if that value is low and idiotic).

    As for my sarcasm, no I will not change. I will not use "emojis". I wrote that so you don't take birthdays, or me, so seriously. I was trying to help, kid.

     

    Love & Peace

  6. If you have trouble with emotions... it is good to find a precise word for them. Even if you don't like the word or don't want it to be true that you are having that emotion – it is important to give it a name to handle it accordingly.

    And also - to not feel bad about it. I'm full of bad emotions everyday, but I try not to feel bad about them. Feeling bad about your emotions just turns them into festering problems. Accepting them, on the other hand, makes them cobblestones on your way to manhood.

    This does not mean to leave them unhandled though. They need to be countered in some manner, but to face them, they need to be accepted as fact without guilt or shame. Guilt and shame only lead to paralysis.

    • Like 1
  7. On 12/28/2017 at 8:05 PM, Frigga Stiglitz said:

    It's always a weird and depressing day for him and myself.

    Unfulfilled expectations. Need for attention. All-devouring destructive maelstrom of self-sorrow. Useless practice. Cure? Abolish thinking. Birthdays just occur because the earth takes 365 days to rotate around the sun and not 366 or 666. That would be brutal. It is a mere coincidence of trajectory. Retarded. Time is linear not circular – though that is up for debate.

    Celebrate tradition and an established practice of self-worship. Make him feel "special". Get him a cake and a present. Try being 20% nicer than normal (not too much though).

    Mind: destoroyah might be strategically joking without using "emojis" to achieve a goal inside your head. He is generally, maybe even subconsciously intentionally, misunderstood and an eternal slave to his own self-proclaimed stigma.

  8. On 12/11/2017 at 7:30 AM, WorkInProgress said:

    @destoroyah It could be considered a bit rude that you'll just assume everything is easy for me even if you don't know my actual situation or how it is to have a newborn which needs you or how my relationship looks like (I didn't really told to much in this journal out of good reason), but I appreciate you trying to help out. Next time just don't assume things but better make suggestions and I would appreciate them even more ;)

    I see.

    • Like 1
  9. ENTRY #82:

    Bad thoughts lead to bad actions.

    Think in a manner so that when asked "what are you thinking?" you can always answer with the truth. Without negative emotion. Without saying something that would negatively impact the relationship.

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