November 8, Saturday afternoon:
The 'maybe to-do list' for my ex-game that I started last Christmas is empty and erased. I even updated and added to it most months of this year.
The only thing that felt OK (until it didn't, upon completion) was the free-to-play grind in the middle months. I could speculate why on that, but basically it was easy, almost pressure-less and there were actually other people typing and playing alongside. I could also half-carry (often unsatisfactorily) conversations on social media. At least some of the newer players thought I was being nice.
There are tiny things that I could still chase on the official game, having last night signed into the private server copy that I started and eventually quit to detox from in 2023, but the fact is that I'm not good at the game anymore. I think that's because I'm increasingly unattached to the game mechanics, and also discouraged by the standard of encouragement/enthusiasm, or maturity, on there. An all-advanced someone on the copy noticed me yesterday, and really only said 'Wow, hey. I did notice how extended your absence was. Well, enjoy.' Luke-warm and telltale-depressingly, I think is how we approached that one. Almost no one has sane display names now anyway - for someone who enjoys positive impressions, ick.
Add that to the already-existing list of things that suck in the majority of players and keep everyone 'close but never quite good enough', and the habit is going to eventually disappear in favour of more-lively offline attractions. I want to have something offline as rewarding as early electronic game-play used to be, to remember the next year for. I just looked at the last chapter of the story I was typing from January, and discovered that enough time has passed for me to critique it before perhaps proceeding some more. Time can work in funny ways on creativity.
I tried to solve a small subscription issue with Wheatbiscuit Senior yesterday morning, over text message. I've obviously only known his reactions to things as a youngish adult onwards, though it was easy for me to see that it wasn't going to happen well enough - also because I was polishing off the fabulous clicking-art of bow-making on my ex-game at the same time. Maybe I'll find something healthy to break the re-formed ice with in this second part of the day. Chasing loot and experience points won't do, even with the best music and sustenance.
Peace all, and happy weekend. ~ Matt
Gratitude:
~ Unfailingly good weather
~ Some effects of a weekly coffee enjoyed
~ Charring some meat in a frying pan
~ Remembered to check mailbox
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wheatbiscuit ·