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ismailkanaan

hello everyone this is my story .

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I am ismail and i have been suffering from the addicting of games long time ago . my whole lifestyle is based on how to have the best result in the game(s) that i am playing  .

so once i wake up i immediately turn on my laptop ( and advance my progress in the game which is  the most thing i take serious in my life and make real plans for it  .

any other things that i make plans for it like study always fail , which force me  back to gaming again because it is the only thing i can progress (although i am a very amateur player and can never be compared to the other good players .. not to mention the professionals and the world champions !)

gaming is  killing me slowly , it make me losing my money ,  university , respect , and the true love , which leads me to be isolated and forced me somehow to  pornography (i mean watching porn)

my situation is getting even worse , these days i barley eat ! whenever i got hungry i just drink  rather than eating  ! my weight got worse .

i am too lazy that i cant even go buy food ! or even order some !!!

i have tried to quit gaming tons of times ! the longest one was once i sent my laptop to relatives in order to study , eat and live better , and after the day 40 i started to be like Psychiatric patient which we watch on TV ! . i have hit myself , insulted myself ,  , talked to  myself , was  depressed , couldn't sleep , cry into a pillow like childrens , my energy got worse (although i was eating better than before when i was gaming( . that's why i forced  my relatives to sent my laptop back because of the depression . once i received the box of the laptop i started to open it like it was a potion of heroin for some1 who haven't took it for long time ! or some 1 who haven't eaten for 3 days ! and once i  started to gaming again  i felt like the same feeling that we feel when we ejaculate (from masturbation)  ! but the difference was that this feeling lasted for couple hours rather than couple seconds !

gaming is my drugs . i have lost all my money and started to borrow money couple years ago , i cant even pay loan interests .

if i don't stop this shit and continue my study or even work , i dont know what is gonna happen . so i must leave now .

there still many things that i haven't mentioned yet .. but i wish that ucan solve my problem or just  connect me  me to some1 who is qulified to my case .

best regards .

 

 

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